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Post by becausewhy on Jan 14, 2021 13:00:17 GMT -6
Ok no one else has asked so I will...do the guys ever get like, weird about other dicks? I feel like guys have a lot of pride but also built in insecurity about their own penis (even if it is fine). So like if the other guy in the foursome was more well endowed or whatever, do they care? I suppose it's individual dependent...or if you're in that lifestyle are men just usually not like that? It’s hard not to compare when it’s in your face. But yes, some guys are a but insecure. H was for awhile. We’d be at the nude resorts (clothes optional) and these guys (even old one) would have the big ol’ things and were showers. Come to find out some of them would rub themselves some before getting up in order to be a shower. Ya see lots of peen at these places. One older guy who had to be well into his 60s has his entire shaft lined with piercings under.
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beatch
Amethyst
My ass is self-sufficient
Posts: 7,073 Likes: 63,410
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Post by beatch on Jan 14, 2021 13:06:05 GMT -6
Full swap: 1 Soft swap which for us is anything goes except intercourse: I have no idea. We’re slowly dipping our toes into full swap. People have told us it’s taken them years to get there and others say they started off right away. I’d say most people we know test the waters and work their way up to it but some people don’t ever want to go there. Gotta say I was expecting more penetration. That's what she said!!! For real tho I'm not into oral so much. So I think it would be an arousing environment but then I'd go back and bang my H.
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Post by becausewhy on Jan 14, 2021 13:06:33 GMT -6
Pizzaslut we have had a threesome experience with another woman. Waiting for the male scenario. I have some in mind but H isn’t there yet to watch or even join but not have another female around.
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fb
Platinum
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Post by fb on Jan 14, 2021 13:08:22 GMT -6
Will you guys do penetration with your own spouses if the mood strikes or is that off the table too if you say no penetration from the get go Penetration with own spouse is always. Then there’s all the rest going on while that’s happening. It’s like what you see on porn with a foursome. ETA: to clarify I meant no penetration with the other couple. OHhhhhhh ok this is not what I was picturing but makes more sense than just two couples giving blowies and fingering. I was confused but now this makes more sense.
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beatch
Amethyst
My ass is self-sufficient
Posts: 7,073 Likes: 63,410
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Post by beatch on Jan 14, 2021 13:08:56 GMT -6
Ok no one else has asked so I will...do the guys ever get like, weird about other dicks? I feel like guys have a lot of pride but also built in insecurity about their own penis (even if it is fine). So like if the other guy in the foursome was more well endowed or whatever, do they care? I suppose it's individual dependent...or if you're in that lifestyle are men just usually not like that? It’s hard not to compare when it’s in your face.
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Post by summerbabe on Jan 14, 2021 13:09:35 GMT -6
I love that you've been so chill and open in sharing all of this. Life has been pretty boring lately with covid, no travel, etc and this has been interesting/fun, even if it's never going to be my world.
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Post by becausewhy on Jan 14, 2021 13:10:10 GMT -6
Gotta say I was expecting more penetration. That's what she said!!! For real tho I'm not into oral so much. So I think it would be an arousing environment but then I'd go back and bang my H. Honestly, I prefer it this way. It’s more comfortable and no pressure to perform except the BJs which I’ve been told I’m good at so I don’t mind. It arouses me knowing they’re enjoying. Guys can have issues getting it up. It’s common but still embarrassing for them. Not because they don’t want to but because the little guy doesn’t want to cooperate. New person, too much going on, distractions, etc then wifey comes along and makes it all better.
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Post by becausewhy on Jan 14, 2021 13:30:54 GMT -6
I love that you've been so chill and open in sharing all of this. Life has been pretty boring lately with covid, no travel, etc and this has been interesting/fun, even if it's never going to be my world. I’ve always been an open book so I don’t mind sharing. I appreciate that everyone was respectful. I apologize for not full swapping more. Just kidding, I am not sorry because that’s not where we are at in all this yet (or ever to do it a lot) so I can’t be sorry for something that works for our marriage.
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willow
Ruby
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Post by willow on Jan 14, 2021 13:31:25 GMT -6
Ok no one else has asked so I will...do the guys ever get like, weird about other dicks? I feel like guys have a lot of pride but also built in insecurity about their own penis (even if it is fine). So like if the other guy in the foursome was more well endowed or whatever, do they care? I suppose it's individual dependent...or if you're in that lifestyle are men just usually not like that? It’s hard not to compare when it’s in your face. But yes, some guys are a but insecure. H was for awhile. We’d be at the nude resorts (clothes optional) and these guys (even old one) would have the big ol’ things and were showers. Come to find out some of them would rub themselves some before getting up in order to be a shower. Ya see lots of peen at these places. One older guy who had to be well into his 60s has his entire shaft lined with piercings under. Ok I am glad that my question wasn't out of line, hah. I know that it's such a sensitive topic for guys so that is why I was curious. I have no way to relate as a female other than maybe boobs (I mean we all compare ourselves to other females but in those scenarios I feel like it's different) and I could see myself getting jealous of perky boobs but probably not the same as guys feel about their precious.
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Post by cdnfroggy on Jan 14, 2021 13:36:45 GMT -6
I didn't want to read/lurk and not comment. This has been a fascinating thread to read. I want to be the kind of couple who would swing - but DH and I are very much not. Thank you so much for sharing!
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Post by becausewhy on Jan 14, 2021 13:37:14 GMT -6
It’s hard not to compare when it’s in your face. But yes, some guys are a but insecure. H was for awhile. We’d be at the nude resorts (clothes optional) and these guys (even old one) would have the big ol’ things and were showers. Come to find out some of them would rub themselves some before getting up in order to be a shower. Ya see lots of peen at these places. One older guy who had to be well into his 60s has his entire shaft lined with piercings under. Ok I am glad that my question wasn't out of line, hah. I know that it's such a sensitive topic for guys so that is why I was curious. I have no way to relate as a female other than maybe boobs (I mean we all compare ourselves to other females but in those scenarios I feel like it's different) and I could see myself getting jealous of perky boobs but probably not the same as guys feel about their precious. It is a bit sensitive for them but they talk about it and find out that their insecurities are common in this. Boobs, well....when we started I had mom boobs that were flat on top and maybe gave me a B bunched up and stuffed in a bra. I wore the most padded bras and when a guy touched them I was mortified by the fact that all he felt was padding. Seeing all these women with perky big boobs made me a bit insecure and I would always have them covered. Honestly, I was insecure way before that and didn’t like H to see them so when I was around so many women with breast augmentations in the lifestyle it crossed my mind that I could have nice boobs again as well. A few months later these babies were born. No ragrets. Not even one.
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willow
Ruby
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Post by willow on Jan 14, 2021 13:40:08 GMT -6
Ok I am glad that my question wasn't out of line, hah. I know that it's such a sensitive topic for guys so that is why I was curious. I have no way to relate as a female other than maybe boobs (I mean we all compare ourselves to other females but in those scenarios I feel like it's different) and I could see myself getting jealous of perky boobs but probably not the same as guys feel about their precious. It is a bit sensitive for them but they talk about it and find out that their insecurities are common in this. Boobs, well....when we started I had mom boobs that were flat on top and maybe gave me a B bunched up and stuffed in a bra. I wore the most padded bras and when a guy touched them I was mortified by the fact that all he felt was padding. Seeing all these women with perky big boobs made me a bit insecure and I would always have them covered. Honestly, I was insecure way before that and didn’t like H to see them so when I was around so many women with breast augmentations in the lifestyle it crossed my mind that I could have nice boobs again as well. A few months later these babies were born. I can totally see that. I want a breast lift and reduction so badly. I am super paranoid about them too, not liking H to see them which he thinks is so ridiculous because boobs are boobs to men, most of the time.
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fb
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Post by fb on Jan 14, 2021 13:45:36 GMT -6
becausewhy do you ever worry that your H will have a ~*connection*~ with another woman or you with another man? Do you guys ever develop feelings for other people? If so, do you discuss it? Do you see him look at another woman a certain way and feel negative feelings? I'm curious about that aspect because that'd be my biggest hang up.
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Post by becausewhy on Jan 14, 2021 13:46:42 GMT -6
It is a bit sensitive for them but they talk about it and find out that their insecurities are common in this. Boobs, well....when we started I had mom boobs that were flat on top and maybe gave me a B bunched up and stuffed in a bra. I wore the most padded bras and when a guy touched them I was mortified by the fact that all he felt was padding. Seeing all these women with perky big boobs made me a bit insecure and I would always have them covered. Honestly, I was insecure way before that and didn’t like H to see them so when I was around so many women with breast augmentations in the lifestyle it crossed my mind that I could have nice boobs again as well. A few months later these babies were born. I can totally see that. I want a breast lift and reduction so badly. I am super paranoid about them too, not liking H to see them which he thinks is so ridiculous because boobs are boobs to men, most of the time. Those were my H’s thoughts as well and then I filled these suckers up and he has changed his mind (with mine).
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Post by wickedcandy on Jan 14, 2021 13:55:01 GMT -6
I could see see this being me & H eventually, we have talked a bit about being open, so who knows, but thank you becausewhy, !
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Cher
Global Moderator
BMB, GD, Special Interests
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Post by Cher on Jan 14, 2021 13:55:27 GMT -6
Are there a lot of bi-guys? It sounds like there’s rarely a situation where it’s guy on guy.
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willow
Ruby
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Post by willow on Jan 14, 2021 13:57:49 GMT -6
Are you ever afraid you’ll like someone’s sex better than your H? I feel like that is where my jealousy/paranoia would come in — worrying that my H would be with someone who then he enjoyed more than me. That’s a common concern but it’s not one that crosses my mind anymore. Him and I have a connection that makes our sex amazing. He doesn’t have that connection with that woman so it may be great but it’s not what we have. It’s something different. I am terrible at explaining things. fb I asked a similar question yesterday and this was her response, not sure if it answers your question too though.
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willow
Ruby
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Post by willow on Jan 14, 2021 13:58:34 GMT -6
I can totally see that. I want a breast lift and reduction so badly. I am super paranoid about them too, not liking H to see them which he thinks is so ridiculous because boobs are boobs to men, most of the time. Those were my H’s thoughts as well and then I filled these suckers up and he has changed his mind (with mine). Haha I mean of course nice perky well sized boobs are ideal! I'm sure mine would change his mind too. But I think overall, most men are just happy to be in bed with boobs.
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Post by marsinvestigations on Jan 14, 2021 14:02:53 GMT -6
Are there a lot of bi-guys? It sounds like there’s rarely a situation where it’s guy on guy. I never saw any guy on guy action occurring.
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fb
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Post by fb on Jan 14, 2021 14:06:07 GMT -6
That’s a common concern but it’s not one that crosses my mind anymore. Him and I have a connection that makes our sex amazing. He doesn’t have that connection with that woman so it may be great but it’s not what we have. It’s something different. I am terrible at explaining things. fb I asked a similar question yesterday and this was her response, not sure if it answers your question too though. Yeah I saw that; my question is more of like...what if he DOES make a connection with someone else (or she does). How do you prevent that, especially with flirting, etc.
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willow
Ruby
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Post by willow on Jan 14, 2021 14:13:17 GMT -6
fb I asked a similar question yesterday and this was her response, not sure if it answers your question too though. Yeah I saw that; my question is more of like...what if he DOES make a connection with someone else (or she does). How do you prevent that, especially with flirting, etc. I really would be afraid of this. Which, while I feel my marriage is healthy and not in any danger of falling apart, is probably a good indication that I would not be ok with a large portion of what happens, lol.
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Post by becausewhy on Jan 14, 2021 15:01:24 GMT -6
becausewhy do you ever worry that your H will have a ~*connection*~ with another woman or you with another man? Do you guys ever develop feelings for other people? If so, do you discuss it? Do you see him look at another woman a certain way and feel negative feelings? I'm curious about that aspect because that'd be my biggest hang up. I don’t worry about him having a connection nor does he worry about me as far as I know. We discuss this often because we have friends that prefer doing the poly thing and we agree that is not for us. Another set of friends kind of fell into the poly thing and it’s not something we’re comfortable with. We don’t need another set of spouses and the drama that comes with that. We’re in this for fun, not a relationship. Now having a couple where you are really comfortable with and hang out with regularly is nice. No feelings what-so-ever and we touch base on that. I feel like our marriage is solid. If one of us ever felt things were going the way of feelings we would pull back and end it. I truly don’t think it would happen because we are very happily married but never say never type of deal. We have a couple we’ve been seeing since the beginning. They told us that we’re like their bf/gf but not “monogamous” in that we still do whatever the hell we want. I take it to mean that we’re comfortable with each other and since we were seeing each other a lot it was like we were dating. I had more but had to deal with work stuff and forgot.
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Post by becausewhy on Jan 14, 2021 15:11:19 GMT -6
Are there a lot of bi-guys? It sounds like there’s rarely a situation where it’s guy on guy. I’m sure there are a lot but it’s not widely accepted. I do know of a a few but again, it’s not seen in the places we frequent or have been to at least not out in the open. There’s one place in San Diego we’ve been that I get the vibe that it’s accepted there.
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Post by becausewhy on Jan 14, 2021 15:15:58 GMT -6
becausewhy do you ever worry that your H will have a ~*connection*~ with another woman or you with another man? Do you guys ever develop feelings for other people? If so, do you discuss it? Do you see him look at another woman a certain way and feel negative feelings? I'm curious about that aspect because that'd be my biggest hang up. One thing that did bother me a lot in the beginning was H passionately kissing another woman. To me it looked passionate and it really bothered me. I’ve since moved past that and am now OK with it. Whenever things bother me and I know I’m OK with the other woman and I trust her I talk through it with myself. It’s not that I want to be jealous but it sometimes starts creeping in out of nowhere and I have to have internal convos with myself about it because I really am OK with it. For both of us for either to hook up with the opposite sex (he’s good with me and women) we have to OK it. There’s no willy nilly running around kissing and messing around with Randoms. This is where checking in comes into play. You check in throughout the night.
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Post by becausewhy on Jan 14, 2021 15:18:06 GMT -6
fb I asked a similar question yesterday and this was her response, not sure if it answers your question too though. Yeah I saw that; my question is more of like...what if he DOES make a connection with someone else (or she does). How do you prevent that, especially with flirting, etc. So there’s a guy that I had a visceral attraction to but I know it’s only that. There’s zero desire to have a relationship with the guy other than sexual. Lust, all lust. If it ever got to that point the other would pull the plug. Not worth us messing up what we have. We’ve seen the fallout in these situations among friends and another where it’s still going but the drama! No thank you.
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Post by donnameagle on Jan 14, 2021 15:37:25 GMT -6
Looking at pics of your H, I can see why you would be picky with other men.
Why go knockoff shopping when you have the real deal on your arm?!
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Post by icedcoffee on Jan 14, 2021 15:42:40 GMT -6
I can see how kissing would be hard to see, at least at first. It is very intimate in a different way than just physical sex acts
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Post by becausewhy on Jan 14, 2021 15:49:24 GMT -6
Looking at pics of your H, I can see why you would be picky with other men. Why go knockoff shopping when you have the real deal on your arm?! Every once in awhile one catches my eye. Not that often unfortunately.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 14, 2021 15:56:19 GMT -6
How much is it to get in to a party? Can anyone go or do you need someone to vouch/invite you? Are there any background checks? the club MH and I went to you had to complete an application for membership which included a photo. I do not believe a background check was completed. It was $50 pp on a weekend night and byob. Men were not allowed to go without a woman, even if they were a member, but women could go by themselves. No one vouched for us originally - we applied online and sent in required info including drivers license and then they called us to ask a few questions prior to approving us Why do you have to include a photo?
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willow
Ruby
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Post by willow on Jan 14, 2021 16:00:43 GMT -6
Looking at pics of your H, I can see why you would be picky with other men. Why go knockoff shopping when you have the real deal on your arm?! Lol right? I can see why they are a couple that everyone approaches too. Lol.
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