rvasc
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Post by rvasc on Sept 25, 2018 12:17:48 GMT -6
DD and I talked about this yesterday. She has so much stuff, and the issue that is closest to her heart is hunger. We’re having a huge party for her, and she will get gifts from us and other family. Is there a way to invite her friends to contribute instead of getting her a gift? She wants to do it this way.
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Post by 4PrivetDrive on Sept 25, 2018 12:20:38 GMT -6
I think this is amazing of your DD to do.
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Post by reginaphalange8 on Sept 25, 2018 12:21:18 GMT -6
I’m of the mind that you should ask for what you want so I picked who cares. I would just say on the invite that you have a house full of toys already. I’m sure many parents will commiserate. Who cares if they think it’s tacky or whatever?
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rvasc
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Post by rvasc on Sept 25, 2018 12:23:27 GMT -6
I think this is amazing of your DD to do. She’s seen other kids do it, and we are SUPER big on generosity, so, yes, she is big-hearted, but she’s also heavily influenced in this direction.
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rvasc
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Post by rvasc on Sept 25, 2018 12:24:49 GMT -6
Yes people, reveal yourselves!
I’m nervous about it because we’ve transitioned from daycare to elementary, and I don’t know the culture here yet.
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soup
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Post by soup on Sept 25, 2018 12:25:18 GMT -6
What a good kid! Good job, rvasc! I don't think there's any wrong way to do this.
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rvasc
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Post by rvasc on Sept 25, 2018 12:25:41 GMT -6
Also, we did decide if we didn’t do the no gifts, she would choose a few to keep and save the rest unopened for Toys for Tots.
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Post by greykitty on Sept 25, 2018 12:27:38 GMT -6
Lots of kids in my area do parties like this - animal shelters are also a popular recipient of any donations.
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Post by angelashly on Sept 25, 2018 12:27:42 GMT -6
As someone with a kid that looks forward to picking out presents for her friends I would say to do the toys for tots thing
I think it is great that she wants to do this, but I think this is a better thing to set up without the birthday attached
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emma
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Post by emma on Sept 25, 2018 12:28:04 GMT -6
I think it's great that this is what she wants and people in general are too wrapped in gift etiquette, especially for a kids party. I've been invited to No Gift parties and Donations instead of a gift and never thought anything bad of it
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byjove
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Post by byjove on Sept 25, 2018 12:28:07 GMT -6
Instead of canned goods (I am so bad at remembering to grab them on the way out the door) you could suggest a charity (or an either/or). I find it easier to send $5 to someone than canned goods. But that might be me
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byjove
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Post by byjove on Sept 25, 2018 12:29:05 GMT -6
Yes people, reveal yourselves! I’m nervous about it because we’ve transitioned from daycare to elementary, and I don’t know the culture here yet.so just make the culture... After we did the "no gifts" at DS1's last birthday, I had several parents tell me at the party that they loved the idea. Honestly it's become very much the norm around here. In DD's school, the culture is very much no presents and it's the best. We'll have DD make a drawing or a card to give to the birthday kid.
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Post by greykitty on Sept 25, 2018 12:30:40 GMT -6
ETA - little girl upstairs had her first birthday/overnight party with about five other girls. One of the activities/games was making some fleece tied blankies to give to an animal shelter. Mom just picked up the kits at Joann's. Apparently it was a great icebreaker for the new girl who transferred into their third grade class.
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Post by angelashly on Sept 25, 2018 12:31:23 GMT -6
As someone with a kid that looks forward to picking out presents for her friends I would say to do the toys for tots thing I think it is great that she wants to do this, but I think this is a better thing to set up without the birthday attached I'm kind of meh on this... the party is happening and it's generally expected that some gifting situation will be present. I'm trying to figure out the logistics of setting this up WITHOUT the party and that feels much harder than opting out of presents. You could be right I guess I just don't know. I know that my kid would want to bring a gift and a canned good
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Post by goldenbird on Sept 25, 2018 12:31:52 GMT -6
This is a great idea and super sweet of your DD to want to do it.
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Post by miawallace on Sept 25, 2018 12:32:57 GMT -6
Honestly, I’d bring the thing the invite requested and also small experience gift or gift card. Birthday kid has to have something. I’d bring frozen yogurt giftcard or movie theatre gift card.
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rvasc
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Post by rvasc on Sept 25, 2018 12:33:39 GMT -6
Honestly, I’d bring the thing the invite requested and also small experience gift or gift card. Birthday kid has to have something. I’d bring frozen yogurt giftcard or movie theatre gift card. This is what I’m afraid of! I don’t want people spending more money.
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Post by miawallace on Sept 25, 2018 12:35:46 GMT -6
Honestly, I’d bring the thing the invite requested and also small experience gift or gift card. Birthday kid has to have something. I’d bring frozen yogurt giftcard or movie theatre gift card. This is what I’m afraid of! I don’t want people spending more money. I’m not a Strickler with etiquette. Maybe I have a different circle of people so this wouldn’t really work out with me. I’d still bring a gift because I’m wired like that. I’d want to celebrate the birthday kid in some way.
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Post by angelashly on Sept 25, 2018 12:37:25 GMT -6
This is what I’m afraid of! I don’t want people spending more money. I’m not a Strickler with etiquette. Maybe I have a different circle of people so this wouldn’t really work out with me. I’d still bring a gift because I’m wired like that. I’d want to celebrate the birthday kid in some way. Yep. Plus like I said we have a party this weekend and Dd is stoked to pick out the presents. She has a list of what she is getting. Now it is for her bestie so I have the list from mom so it isn't just junk I am picking up, but still.
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jinkies
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Post by jinkies on Sept 25, 2018 12:39:33 GMT -6
I did this for my son's 6th birthday.
About a 1/3 just brought canned goods.
Another 1/3 brought a gift AND canned goods.
the final 1/3 just brought a card (I guess they figured that my point was no gifts, so they just did that?)
It worked fine. It reduced the gifts we got by 2/3, which was good, and the people who brought canned goods brought a lot, so we had a nice donation to the food pantry.
Anyone who is annoyed at being told to buy food for the hungry instead of a toy for my already spoiled kid is not really worth the effort of worrying about.
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Post by theseaword on Sept 25, 2018 12:42:47 GMT -6
I hate this no gift/charity gift trend. HATE IT. It just adds another layer of stress. Because some people are showing up with gifts, either because they didn’t read the invite or didn’t trust it. And they feel weird about it. And then others will read it and want to listen to the rules and not bring a gift and see others with gifts and feel weird about it. Just let people bring the a kid a gift and if you don’t want them, give them to charity.
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Post by miawallace on Sept 25, 2018 12:42:57 GMT -6
At the end people will bring or not being what they want you know what I mean? It’s unavoidable with any gift giving type party. I’d be that person who brings a gift. I just have to bring something. Anything.
I didn’t do registry or bridal shower and the day I got married, there were loads of boxed gifts to take home.
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Post by theseaword on Sept 25, 2018 12:44:13 GMT -6
Seriously, I think this and spanking are my hills. The one mom who actually replied with a list of toys when I asked what to buy for her child last year was my hero. No bullshit to navigate through! Thank you!
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Post by miawallace on Sept 25, 2018 12:44:38 GMT -6
I hate this no gift/charity gift trend. HATE IT. It just adds another layer of stress. Because some people are showing up with gifts, either because they didn’t read the invite or didn’t trust it. And they feel weird about it. And then others will read it and want to listen to the rules and not bring a gift and see others with gifts and feel weird about it. Just let people bring the a kid a gift and if you don’t want them, give them to charity. Yeah I’m mostly here. basing this on my people.
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Post by miawallace on Sept 25, 2018 12:45:36 GMT -6
Seriously, I think this and spanking are my hills. The one mom who actually replied with a list of toys when I asked what to buy for her child last year was my hero. No bullshit to navigate through! Thank you! Nice. some people would side eye some of my aunts’ invites because they always include clothes sizes and gift ideas.
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Post by GhoatMonket on Sept 25, 2018 12:47:56 GMT -6
At the end people will bring or not being what they want you know what I mean? It’s unavoidable with any gift giving type party. I’d be that person who brings a gift. I just have to bring something. Anything. I didn’t do registry or bridal shower and the day I got married, there were loads of boxed gifts to take home. Did you state no gifts? Because no registry info is not the same as saying no gifts. It is extremely rude to go out of your way to ignore the request of the person the party is for.
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Post by miawallace on Sept 25, 2018 12:50:39 GMT -6
At the end people will bring or not being what they want you know what I mean? It’s unavoidable with any gift giving type party. I’d be that person who brings a gift. I just have to bring something. Anything. I didn’t do registry or bridal shower and the day I got married, there were loads of boxed gifts to take home. Did you state no gifts? Because no registry info is not the same as saying no gifts. It is extremely rude to go out of your way to ignore the request of the person the party is for. No I didn’t. I mean it wasn’t a big deal in the end. I kept what was useful and donated or gave away what I didn’t need. But also my family is a different animal with regards to parties. I could write out no gifts no regalos and they’d still bring them. I don’t think it’s rude. It’s just them. It’s amusing.
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Post by miawallace on Sept 25, 2018 12:52:53 GMT -6
Trying to put a stop to people forcing cheap and useless shit onto you when you have no intention of keeping that and have absolutely no need for it is my hill, I guess. Well I wasn’t going to bring cheap pot when I came to see you. Gosh. Its posh mota
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rvasc
Emerald
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Post by rvasc on Sept 25, 2018 12:53:10 GMT -6
I've also never once been at a party when a kid opened presents in front of everyone and I'm more against that bullshit than any suggestions about bringing gifts or not. Same. At least, not since sometime in the 90s.
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Post by GhoatMonket on Sept 25, 2018 12:54:18 GMT -6
I've also never once been at a party when a kid opened presents in front of everyone and I'm more against that bullshit than any suggestions about bringing gifts or not. This is a thing here and it's so fucking annoying. I think more kids would attend parties if this stopped. The public display of who spent how much money is obnoxious.
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