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Post by miawallace on Sept 25, 2018 12:54:28 GMT -6
Parties are a family event with my peeps. Kids aren’t dropped off. I’ve only heard of that here. So my responses are based on my experiences. I know the no gifts thing wouldn’t fly with us. I feel like this is based on your circle too.
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Post by GhoatMonket on Sept 25, 2018 12:56:27 GMT -6
I drop off at family parties too. Nope to you and the 40 kids you invited from your kid's school. I'm not helping corral that. I'll stay after and drink with you while you try to glue your sanity back together.
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Post by angelashly on Sept 25, 2018 12:57:45 GMT -6
This is why we decided not to do a birthday party anymore besides family and big birthdays. We end up spending $$$$ on a place to have it and it feels like so much.
We are taking her and a friend or 2 to the movies and lunch and maybe skating. She is slightly disappointed right now so it may change
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rvasc
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Post by rvasc on Sept 25, 2018 12:59:46 GMT -6
This is why we decided not to do a birthday party anymore besides family and big birthdays. We end up spending $$$$ on a place to have it and it feels like so much. We are taking her and a friend or 2 to the movies and lunch and maybe skating. She is slightly disappointed right now so it may change Well my kid is the most extroverted extravert that ever existed, and friends and parties are her jam. We let her have a big one every few years.
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Foxy
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Post by Foxy on Sept 25, 2018 13:00:02 GMT -6
One of my friends did no gifts but did do a used book exchange. I thought that was a neat idea. That way you are still bringing "something" but it also acts as a party favor.
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Post by angelashly on Sept 25, 2018 13:00:46 GMT -6
This is why we decided not to do a birthday party anymore besides family and big birthdays. We end up spending $$$$ on a place to have it and it feels like so much. We are taking her and a friend or 2 to the movies and lunch and maybe skating. She is slightly disappointed right now so it may change Well my kid is the most extroverted extravert that ever existed, and friends and parties are her jam. We let her have a big one every few years. Oh my kid was not happy when we told her. She loves parties, but I don't have the money to do the big parties all the time so we limit it to the 10 people which means no school friends and it is just getting to be to much.
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Dr. Cox
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Post by Dr. Cox on Sept 25, 2018 13:01:08 GMT -6
I've also never once been at a party when a kid opened presents in front of everyone and I'm more against that bullshit than any suggestions about bringing gifts or not. This is a thing here and it's so fucking annoying. I think more kids would attend parties if this stopped. The public display of who spent how much money is obnoxious. Also it takes FOREVER.
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Post by miawallace on Sept 25, 2018 13:01:35 GMT -6
Parties are a family event with my peeps. Kids aren’t dropped off. I’ve only heard of that here. So my responses are based on my experiences. I know the no gifts thing wouldn’t fly with us. I feel like this is based on your circle too. just so I'm clear, I'm not at all talking about family events. I'm talking about parties where my kid invites a bunch of his friends and I'm not super close with parents/don't even know them/barely know them. When we do family parties, like with my actual family members, they can bring whatever they want. I wouldn't tell them what to do. When we have a birthday party and there are 30 kids coming... I'm requesting no presents. See I don’t know if we are from another planet, but my family and extended family made birthday parties a family thing. Yes they’d invite some kids from their class, but mostly it’s all us locos. So maybe this is why I’m having a hard time visualizing all this. School kids are not really invited to kid birthday parties with my people. Even growing up My bday parties never really had school friends.
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emma
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Post by emma on Sept 25, 2018 13:03:50 GMT -6
my mum cut off throwing birthday parties after age 7 (or around there) and i always thought it was the meanest shit. But now i totally get it and will probably do the same thing. I usually got to invite a friend to do some special experience after that
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rvasc
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Post by rvasc on Sept 25, 2018 13:04:24 GMT -6
just so I'm clear, I'm not at all talking about family events. I'm talking about parties where my kid invites a bunch of his friends and I'm not super close with parents/don't even know them/barely know them. When we do family parties, like with my actual family members, they can bring whatever they want. I wouldn't tell them what to do. When we have a birthday party and there are 30 kids coming... I'm requesting no presents. See I don’t know if we are from another planet, but my family and extended family made birthday parties a family thing. Yes they’d invite some kids from their class, but mostly it’s all us locos. So maybe this is why I’m having a hard time visualizing all this. School kids are not really invited to kid birthday parties with my people. Even growing up My bday parties never really had school friends. These are two separate things for us. Cake with your grandparents, party with your friends. We don’t have a lot of extended family that close by.
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Dr. Cox
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Post by Dr. Cox on Sept 25, 2018 13:04:29 GMT -6
We did have a family only birthday party for DS (3) and we asked to please not bring anything big because we have no space. My mom was offended but, honestly, NO SPACE. Last year he received a giant tool bench, grill, and a big train table. Very nice gifts but very large.
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rvasc
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Post by rvasc on Sept 25, 2018 13:05:10 GMT -6
Get your big party debate out of my thread, hookers.
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Post by GhoatMonket on Sept 25, 2018 13:05:59 GMT -6
and it's the most boring shit ever. Last party the kid got 8 Nerf guns out of 12 presents. Guess how old that got?
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Post by Deleted on Sept 25, 2018 13:07:55 GMT -6
Opening gifts in front of the group is very much the norm here if you have it any place other than like a party place (trampoline park, fun zone type place). We also have to invite the whole class if you send invitations into school (they can’t give you like a roster with names and addresses so you’re pretty much forced to send them to school).
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Post by GhoatMonket on Sept 25, 2018 13:08:06 GMT -6
Get your big party debate out of my thread, hookers. Girl please. We do what we do. I like this idea. DS wants a big party this year, and honestly the mountain of crap is one of the things holding us back. I may run this option by him- invite all you want but no presents.
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Cher
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Post by Cher on Sept 25, 2018 13:08:07 GMT -6
At the end people will bring or not being what they want you know what I mean? It’s unavoidable with any gift giving type party. I’d be that person who brings a gift. I just have to bring something. Anything. I didn’t do registry or bridal shower and the day I got married, there were loads of boxed gifts to take home. Did you state no gifts? Because no registry info is not the same as saying no gifts. It is extremely rude to go out of your way to ignore the request of the person the party is for. Regional. Nobody gives registry info on their wedding invites here. It most definitely does not mean no gifts. Cash rules everything around me.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 25, 2018 13:09:05 GMT -6
I think it’s a great idea but I would have somewhere where you can put any gifts that are brought so not to draw attention to them so those that didn’t bring a gift don’t feel awkward.
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Post by GhoatMonket on Sept 25, 2018 13:10:07 GMT -6
Opening gifts in front of the group is very much the norm here if you have it any place other than like a party place (trampoline park, fun zone type place). We also have to invite the whole class if you send invitations into school (they can’t give you like a roster with names and addresses so you’re pretty much forced to send them to school). They fucking do it there too. The event coordinator at one of the places has a kid in DS's class. I asked if they had tried to get people to do that offsite. Apparently they have tried and the culture overruled.
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Post by angelashly on Sept 25, 2018 13:10:27 GMT -6
my mum cut off throwing birthday parties after age 7 (or around there) and i always thought it was the meanest shit. But now i totally get it and will probably do the same thing. I usually got to invite a friend to do some special experience after that DD?
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Post by miawallace on Sept 25, 2018 13:11:08 GMT -6
Either way, whenever you plan a big party you’re going to get all sorts of responses from the invitees. I’m not saying I agree or not. I’m a minimalist. I hate clutter. I hate random gifts. But the reality is that with a big party you are bound to get actual gifts of some sort even when you request not to. People will do what they want. Especially the olds.
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Post by grumpycat on Sept 25, 2018 13:11:19 GMT -6
I've tried the donations to the local food bank and then donations for the local animal shelter. Mixed results -- most people brought a small gift and something to donate. This year, I put together a book Wish list on Amazon. 🤷 I anticipate mixed results again but my kids have so much. Just come spend time with them. They love that so so much more than plastic stuff they will play with for like a week. So I'm all for doing it, especially if your child requests it! As a guest, I would likely still bring a small gift (usually a book or outdoor item) in addition to the requested items for donation though. I know, I know.
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Post by angelashly on Sept 25, 2018 13:12:43 GMT -6
Did you state no gifts? Because no registry info is not the same as saying no gifts. It is extremely rude to go out of your way to ignore the request of the person the party is for. Regional. Nobody gives registry info on their wedding invites here. It most definitely does not mean no gifts. Cash rules everything around me. Here. registry information is given for the shower so I guess they still have it, but money is usually it
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Cher
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Post by Cher on Sept 25, 2018 13:13:46 GMT -6
I still give your kid a small gift if you say “no gifts”. Sorry, let me love you.
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Post by GhoatMonket on Sept 25, 2018 13:15:51 GMT -6
Either way, whenever you plan a big party you’re going to get all sorts of responses from the invitees. I’m not saying I agree or not. I’m a minimalist. I hate clutter. I hate random gifts. But the reality is that with a big party you are bound to get actual gifts of some sort even when you request not to. People will do what they want. Especially the olds. Not really. We had one party where the mom asked for a $5 cap on gifts (she found a pile of Christmas stuff she forgot to give her so she just rewrapped it all). Every person complied. I guess I'll be happy the parents in DS's grade are able to read and follow directions. Bodes well for my chances of people not showing up with stuff when they are specifically told to not bring things.
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Post by GhoatMonket on Sept 25, 2018 13:16:22 GMT -6
Regional. Nobody gives registry info on their wedding invites here. It most definitely does not mean no gifts. Cash rules everything around me. Here. registry information is given for the shower so I guess they still have it, but money is usually it Do you people live in a land where everyone is invited to both?
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Post by angelashly on Sept 25, 2018 13:18:22 GMT -6
Here. registry information is given for the shower so I guess they still have it, but money is usually it Do you people live in a land where everyone is invited to both? Yes. Anyone invited to the shower is also invited to the wedding.
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Post by miawallace on Sept 25, 2018 13:18:30 GMT -6
Either way, whenever you plan a big party you’re going to get all sorts of responses from the invitees. I’m not saying I agree or not. I’m a minimalist. I hate clutter. I hate random gifts. But the reality is that with a big party you are bound to get actual gifts of some sort even when you request not to. People will do what they want. Especially the olds. Not really. We had one party where the mom asked for a $5 cap on gifts (she found a pile of Christmas stuff she forgot to give her so she just rewrapped it all). Every person complied. I guess I'll be happy the parents in DS's grade are able to read and follow directions. Bodes well for my chances of people not showing up with stuff when they are specifically told to not bring things. I mean yes, it’s not always like that with everyone though as mentioned in this same thread by folks who got gifts either way. So it’s fair to assume there will be different responses to these sort of things is all I’m saying.
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Cher
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Post by Cher on Sept 25, 2018 13:19:42 GMT -6
Here. registry information is given for the shower so I guess they still have it, but money is usually it Do you people live in a land where everyone is invited to both? Yes?
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Post by shan-ah-doo on Sept 25, 2018 13:22:06 GMT -6
just so I'm clear, I'm not at all talking about family events. I'm talking about parties where my kid invites a bunch of his friends and I'm not super close with parents/don't even know them/barely know them. When we do family parties, like with my actual family members, they can bring whatever they want. I wouldn't tell them what to do. When we have a birthday party and there are 30 kids coming... I'm requesting no presents. See I don’t know if we are from another planet, but my family and extended family made birthday parties a family thing. Yes they’d invite some kids from their class, but mostly it’s all us locos. So maybe this is why I’m having a hard time visualizing all this. School kids are not really invited to kid birthday parties with my people. Even growing up My bday parties never really had school friends. Same.
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Dr. Cox
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Post by Dr. Cox on Sept 25, 2018 13:23:24 GMT -6
Why would you invite someone to your shower but not your wedding?
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