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Post by tincupchalice on May 29, 2017 21:12:26 GMT -6
Totally pro-potlucks here. 8th grade graduation is weird.
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Post by shan-ah-doo on May 29, 2017 21:20:06 GMT -6
I'm not cool with the "don't have a party if you can't afford it" stance. At all.
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Post by lupineaura on May 29, 2017 21:20:39 GMT -6
I am actually more "??" about giving a cash gift to a kid for graduating 8th grade. Not something I'm used to or would think to do. This is me. |
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Post by shan-ah-doo on May 29, 2017 21:21:48 GMT -6
Interesting. 8th grade graduations are very much a thing where I grew up. I had one, most people I knew had one. I gave and received money. Where I grew up, graduation parties are done for 8th grade, high school and college. I have never been to or invited to a potluck. I have brought things to a party to help my mom or a good friend, but never a party where everyone is asked to bring something. I'm guessing this is one of those regional things. It is so normal here. |
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ironegg
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Post by ironegg on May 29, 2017 21:22:33 GMT -6
I'm not cool with the "don't have a party if you can't afford it" stance. At all. I said this and I didn't consider it well at all. I take that back. I really meant that whenever I personally haven't been able to afford it, I just didn't have a party. I don't agree with what I said though, I should have thought it or differently. |
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Post by lupineaura on May 29, 2017 21:24:36 GMT -6
Yeah, you can't ask for gifts and for people to bring their own party. That is tacky, you are not a bitch. My SIL asks everyone to bring something to every single one of my niece's birthday parties. Like not just side dishes but everything - soda, paper products, one year she asked my mom to bring the cake. I was late one year when my job was the paper products. SIL's family bitched me out cause they couldn't eat since my paper plates and plastic utensils were late. Lol. Now that's balls. |
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Post by lupineaura on May 29, 2017 21:27:36 GMT -6
Is it absolutely expected that the gifts be cash? To me, this seems like a perfect occasion to give a book.
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Post by lupineaura on May 29, 2017 21:32:23 GMT -6
I will say, the only thing you said that I'm side-eying a bit is making it seem like the fact that it's twins (two cash envelopes) is relevant. Maybe I'm being a bit hypersensitive as a twin mom, but that's not exactly something the family can help. It's not cool to feel put-upon to have to get each twin a gift in gift-giving situations; it's not like people feel that way when discussing other siblings.
I'm at like a 2.
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Jesslfar
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Post by Jesslfar on May 29, 2017 21:32:57 GMT -6
We did simple parties for 8th grade. Parents hosted food and drink and a small present was provided (usually $20). Mine was on a yacht for 20 people because a friend had a yacht. I went to about 3 other 8th grade parties and none were potluck.
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Sundae
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Post by Sundae on May 29, 2017 21:35:28 GMT -6
We did simple parties for 8th grade. Parents hosted food and drink and a small present was provided (usually $20). Mine was on a yacht for 20 people because a friend had a yacht. I went to about 3 other 8th grade parties and none were potluck. simple /= on a yacht |
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Sundae
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Post by Sundae on May 29, 2017 21:39:22 GMT -6
Potlucks are not weird here. But they usually don't say by the way it's BYOB, BYOF, and give us cash money. It is more of a "we're having a party to celebrate a birthday. Not formal, super casual, don't bring a gift!" "Ok, can I bring anything?" And so on. And we bring some booze that we want to drink. But there's always a starter stash and it all gets mixed in.
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Cher
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Post by Cher on May 29, 2017 21:46:52 GMT -6
Interesting. 8th grade graduations are very much a thing where I grew up. I had one, most people I knew had one. I gave and received money. Where I grew up, graduation parties are done for 8th grade, high school and college. I have never been to or invited to a potluck. I have brought things to a party to help my mom or a good friend, but never a party where everyone is asked to bring something. I'm guessing this is one of those regional things. It is so normal here. Us too. Around my area, everyone kind of goes separate ways after 8th grade. There are tons of different high schools, so there are people I went to school with from 1-8 grade that I never saw again after 8th graduation. So the 8th grade graduation party was very much a thing. Lots of crying teenagers promising to K.I.T. 4ever! Spoiler alert: we didn't. |
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Post by Deleted on May 29, 2017 21:48:32 GMT -6
We did simple parties for 8th grade. Parents hosted food and drink and a small present was provided (usually $20). Mine was on a yacht for 20 people because a friend had a yacht. I went to about 3 other 8th grade parties and none were potluck. simple /= on a yacht OMG! PHFTS, how could you?! |
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Post by imapenguin on May 29, 2017 21:54:05 GMT -6
Us too. Around my area, everyone kind of goes separate ways after 8th grade. There are tons of different high schools, so there are people I went to school with from 1-8 grade that I never saw again after 8th graduation. So the 8th grade graduation party was very much a thing. Lots of crying teenagers promising to K.I.T. 4ever! Spoiler alert: we didn't. My area is opposite. There are several junior highs that feed into one big high school. And where I was in 8th grade there was 1 junior high and 1 high school. The 2 buildings were attached by a gym so you didn't even get to go to a new place after 8th grade. |
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thatgolfb
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Post by thatgolfb on May 29, 2017 21:55:16 GMT -6
I've heard of an 8th grade graduation, but not individual graduating students getting a party with gifts. This. I'm team no to both potluck and gifts. |
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thatgolfb
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Post by thatgolfb on May 29, 2017 21:56:22 GMT -6
Are these public school graduations or private? I know here public do not have 5th/8th grade graduations. In fact the word graduation isn't used until high school. Private on the other hand, is different. Regardless, a graduation party shouldn't be a bring your own anything. All public middle schools in my hometown had 8th grade graduation. |
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Cher
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Post by Cher on May 29, 2017 21:57:19 GMT -6
Us too. Around my area, everyone kind of goes separate ways after 8th grade. There are tons of different high schools, so there are people I went to school with from 1-8 grade that I never saw again after 8th graduation. So the 8th grade graduation party was very much a thing. Lots of crying teenagers promising to K.I.T. 4ever! Spoiler alert: we didn't. My area is opposite. There are several junior highs that feed into one big high school. And where I was in 8th grade there was 1 junior high and 1 high school. The 2 buildings were attached by a gym so you didn't even get to go to a new place after 8th grade. I was thinking that a lot of people probably had similar situations which would make the 8th grade graduation party strange to them. If I was staying with the same people and not changing schools, the party would definitely be pointless to me. |
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thatgolfb
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Post by thatgolfb on May 29, 2017 21:57:22 GMT -6
Don't think you're a bitch. I'd be questioning it too. I know 8th grade grads can be a done, but I don't know if I've ever heard of a party for it. And why have the party if you can't afford to do it. I mean, I don't have an issue with BYOB, but I can't stand it when people expect you to bring food. (Hope a member of DHs family is stalking this post! ) This was my thought. I probably just wouldn't throw a party for something like 8th grade grad if I wasn't prepared to pay for the food and drinks. ETA: this is because 8th grade grad doesn't warrant a party that badly, IMO. For high school grad or something I would try to make something work. |
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Post by GhoatMonket on May 29, 2017 21:57:48 GMT -6
I'm just here for the yacht party. I hope it was BYOB. |
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Post by AnnPerkins on May 29, 2017 21:58:21 GMT -6
This  |
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Post by shan-ah-doo on May 29, 2017 21:58:24 GMT -6
I will say, the only thing you said that I'm side-eying a bit is making it seem like the fact that it's twins (two cash envelopes) is relevant. Maybe I'm being a bit hypersensitive as a twin mom, but that's not exactly something the family can help. It's not cool to feel put-upon to have to get each twin a gift in gift-giving situations; it's not like people feel that way when discussing other siblings. I'm at like a 2. I'm a twin myself. I get it. |
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Cher
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Post by Cher on May 29, 2017 22:09:48 GMT -6
I will say, the only thing you said that I'm side-eying a bit is making it seem like the fact that it's twins (two cash envelopes) is relevant. Maybe I'm being a bit hypersensitive as a twin mom, but that's not exactly something the family can help. It's not cool to feel put-upon to have to get each twin a gift in gift-giving situations; it's not like people feel that way when discussing other siblings. I'm at like a 2. I'm a twin myself. I get it. I don't have a twin but I had a stepsister the same grade as me. We shared most things, including our 8th grade graduation party. It's obviously something we couldn't help, but I know it must have been frustrating for some people putting money in two cards. I get both sides of it. |
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Post by lupineaura on May 29, 2017 22:22:02 GMT -6
"Simple yacht party" is going into the Parenting zeitgeist, isn't it?
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Post by lifesaverz on May 30, 2017 0:38:01 GMT -6
My brother is hosting an 8th grade graduation for his twin kids. So that's not one money envelope but two that we and the rest of the guests will be giving. Anyway, they made it a byob and having others bring side dishes. I texted my sister (who shares a house with my brother) and told her that it was tacky to have guests supply booze and food when most are already giving generous gifts. She basically tried to paint a picture of me as if I were shaming them for being poor. That was not at all what I was saying but I've also been known to be a blunt bitch so I could have come off as being insensitive. Am I wrong? The gift giving makes this seem tacky, especially because it is an 8th grade graduation. I would think it odd having any gift giving party for finishing middle school. Just a BYOB cook out with family and friends seems fun, but expecting gifts makes it side eye-worthy to me. Are they actually expecting gifts though? Or OP are you just assuming that they are? Could be it's really just supposed to be a get together/celebration. |
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Post by goldenbird on May 30, 2017 3:02:25 GMT -6
I would be ok with this setup coming out of high school when kids need money to pay for college or move out, but why do kids need money to go to high school? Yes. I didn't get any money for graduating 8th grade. This better not be a thing now. |
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Post by goldenbird on May 30, 2017 3:03:59 GMT -6
I...probably would go but honestly not get them a gift. A simple "congrats, we love you, best of luck" since they aren't actually done with their primary school career.
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Bookshelves
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Post by Bookshelves on May 30, 2017 4:40:38 GMT -6
This All that money, and they chose *that* font? |
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jedi
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Post by jedi on May 30, 2017 5:44:35 GMT -6
Potlucks and byob aren't a big deal to me. Must be regional
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PinkFreud
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Post by PinkFreud on May 30, 2017 5:52:38 GMT -6
This whole thing is bullshit. You are correct shan
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Post by ArielMermaid on May 30, 2017 5:55:17 GMT -6
You're not a bitch. You either bring food or a gift. Both is weird to me, and I'm from potluck country.
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