vino
Opal
Posts: 9,054 Likes: 56,450
|
Post by vino on Jun 15, 2017 9:39:27 GMT -6
Better! We had 3 wake ups, but his first stretch was 4 hours! That's only happened twice and it was a good 3-4 months ago. So we did 8-12 and then up again at 2 and 4:30. I'm sure we'll have to do some sleep training, but I really think part of the issue was an upset stomach from having too much food so close to bedtime. Thank you for the suggestions! Awesome! And those wake ups mirror what j is doing right now, I'm trying to get her to one wake up about 2am but it's clear that I'm not making the rules here 😉
|
|
tgrimes
Diamond
Posts: 27,588 Likes: 138,016
|
Post by tgrimes on Jun 15, 2017 14:52:20 GMT -6
vino The sleep sense program also says to tackle nighttime sleep before naps. I didn't follow that advice when I sleep trained M though.
|
|
|
Post by sophiegrace on Jun 15, 2017 14:57:07 GMT -6
Thank you vino I'm going to look through that site as soon as I'm done pretending to work out. And you're correct in that the third nap struggle is leading to frustration. And that's a real shitty mindset to start the evening with.
|
|
|
Post by flamingo on Jun 15, 2017 18:09:22 GMT -6
Thank you vino I'm going to look through that site as soon as I'm done pretending to work out. And you're correct in that the third nap struggle is leading to frustration. And that's a real shitty mindset to start the evening with. I'm sure you've tried everything for the daytime naps, but does M sleep in the car? On days I struggle to get C down--and I did this with B, too--I load her into the car, get myself a treat from the drive-through, and just tool around.
|
|
waitwhat
Sapphire
Posts: 4,801 Likes: 15,856
|
Post by waitwhat on Jun 16, 2017 4:30:52 GMT -6
Thank you vino I'm going to look through that site as soon as I'm done pretending to work out. And you're correct in that the third nap struggle is leading to frustration. And that's a real shitty mindset to start the evening with. I'm sure you've tried everything for the daytime naps, but does M sleep in the car? On days I struggle to get C down--and I did this with B, too--I load her into the car, get myself a treat from the drive-through, and just tool around. Yep. Have done. Lots of times.
|
|
|
Post by sophiegrace on Jun 16, 2017 9:03:58 GMT -6
Thank you vino I'm going to look through that site as soon as I'm done pretending to work out. And you're correct in that the third nap struggle is leading to frustration. And that's a real shitty mindset to start the evening with. I'm sure you've tried everything for the daytime naps, but does M sleep in the car? On days I struggle to get C down--and I did this with B, too--I load her into the car, get myself a treat from the drive-through, and just tool around. Car naps are a guarantee of we're within an hour of nap time and the ride lasts longer than 15 minutes. BUT she'll only stay asleep as long as the car is moving. Even red lights cause her to wake up. I'll do it as a Hail Mary some days, but I have this teeny fear that if I do it too much she'll only nap way and I'll spend the next two years spending every afternoon cruising the country back roads. Possibly irrational.
|
|
|
Post by sophiegrace on Jun 16, 2017 9:09:09 GMT -6
She slept last night!!!! 🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻
Woke at 3:30 and 6, but I'm fine with that.
The only thing I can think of, assuming that this isn't a one-off, is that my body was gearing up to have a period and then changed its mind. I became SUPER engorged yesterday afternoon and I realized that my mental funk I had been in all week was suddenly gone, along with the splitting headache I'd had all week. It makes a lot of sense looking back at it and I'm wondering if my supply had been low and she was getting hungry at night. Idk.
|
|
tgrimes
Diamond
Posts: 27,588 Likes: 138,016
|
Post by tgrimes on Jun 16, 2017 9:09:53 GMT -6
sophiegrace Between all of us, we have to be able to figure out how to get little M to sleep. Hmmm. Have you tried any carriers? What about walks in the stroller? Any white/pink noise? Any glow worms or something similar? Do you have a nap routine? How long can she stay awake before she starts to show signs of sleepiness?
|
|
tgrimes
Diamond
Posts: 27,588 Likes: 138,016
|
Post by tgrimes on Jun 16, 2017 9:10:49 GMT -6
sophiegrace Just saw that she slept last night. Woo hoo!
|
|
|
Post by sophiegrace on Jun 16, 2017 12:19:03 GMT -6
sophiegrace Between all of us, we have to be able to figure out how to get little M to sleep. Hmmm. Have you tried any carriers? What about walks in the stroller? Any white/pink noise? Any glow worms or something similar? Do you have a nap routine? How long can she stay awake before she starts to show signs of sleepiness? We do white noise, dark room. Change diaper, into sleep sack, read book (same one for each nap). Morning nap is always two hours from when she wakes up and afternoon nap was at 2. That just got moved up to 1:15-1:30 once her morning nap got shifty. She goes down great for that nap every time. Our biggest issue is if and when it gets interrupted after 30 minutes of her sleeping. (Dogs barking, H coming home, a poop, UPS, etc.) She thinks she's rested enough and does not ever go back down. It was driving me crazy because I'd spend hours trying to get even a few more minutes out of her. I took everyone's advice about it last time it was driving me up a wall and I stopped making a huge deal out of it. If she doesn't go back down then we just carry on with our day and I just accept that she's going to be a bit more high maintenance until she goes to bed. She makes it obvious when she's ready for the morning nap, but either some quiet time or <25 minutes revives her. She took one nap longer than 15 minutes all week and refused yesterday and today. On nights like last night where she gets 11+ hours of sleep she does fine without the nap. She's back to her happy sassy self today. It's the bad nights like we had the rest of the week that turn her into the gremlin that got fed after midnight. I'm thinking that maybe she'll be the kid that drops the morning nap sooner than average, but her body/brain isn't quite mature enough to handle it well unless under the perfect conditions. I'm probably wrong though. I fully admit at this point in the game that I'm 100% winging this whole parenting thing and hoping for the best.
|
|
tgrimes
Diamond
Posts: 27,588 Likes: 138,016
|
Post by tgrimes on Jun 16, 2017 12:24:22 GMT -6
sophiegrace Dude, we're all winging it. M was a very light sleeper and would only nap for 30 min at a time. It was awful. At this point we were still doing like 4 naps a day because she could only stay awake for 1.5-2 hours at a time. Sometimes H is the same way. I remember MH coming in to her room one day and I was in tears trying to rock her to sleep. I was just so tired and new that she needed the rest too. It's awful so I totally commiserate with you. What kind of noise machine do you have? Maybe you need a louder one. My sister brought me one when M was a year old that really made a difference for us. For real, if the wood floor creaked, she would wake up. God forbid if the dogs saw something outside and started barking. It was ridiculous.
|
|
waitwhat
Sapphire
Posts: 4,801 Likes: 15,856
|
Sleep Talk
Jun 16, 2017 12:34:53 GMT -6
via mobile
Post by waitwhat on Jun 16, 2017 12:34:53 GMT -6
sophiegrace B was a terrible napper. I'd be lucky to get a 30 minute nap out of him because like M, he'd wake up and think that's all the sleep he needed. I spent a lot of time driving around aimlessly because the car would always put him out but as soon as I came to a halt, he woke right up. Stroller rides never put him out. People would always comment on how wide awake he was in the stroller. Hell at 2 weeks old random strangers in the grocery store would say how alert he was for a newborn. He just didn't want to sleep. It's like he didn't need it. He dropped down to one nap at 13 months. I will say he's a fantastic sleeper now. He naps usually 2-2.5 hours and sleeps through the night consistently. There's hope for you. Just because she hates naps and sleep now doesn't mean it can't change when she's older!
|
|
Cheshie6
Sapphire
Posts: 4,928 Likes: 15,253
|
Post by Cheshie6 on Jun 17, 2017 9:12:38 GMT -6
Sleep in general, sleep training, lack of sleep training, etc.
What are you doing? Currently shower or bath, lotion and dressed, story, nurse to sleep, place in cosleeper. Pray he stays!
Sometimes he won't sleep unless he's with me.
What's working well? The routine is definitely working but I don't know how to make sleeping on his own part of it.
What could you change? Sometimes I do the story after nursing which is my preferred way but he usually doesn't last long enough for that.
I'm ready for him to sleep on his own more consistently but I can't do the CIO method. Some days when naps are sparse, he'll stay in there but when he's napped well, not so much! I have the no-cry sleep solution but I have little time to read it!?!
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
|
|
Cheshie6
Sapphire
Posts: 4,928 Likes: 15,253
|
Post by Cheshie6 on Jun 18, 2017 21:59:51 GMT -6
I don't know where to start on the No-cry Sleep solution (NCSS) but my initial thoughts are it's not doable when my spouse isn't home. We'll see!
The author advocates for comfort in the sleep area. As in the need to associate it with safety and not abandonment. Her example was how would you feel if you fell asleep in your safe warm bed but woke up on the kitchen floor? She would like us to try to take 3 times a day for a quiet but positive time there to associate it with safety and comfort. She recommends reading there, sing songs, and eventually get them used to a musical mobile or another item that will let you slip quietly into the background.
She pushes for consistency (which I lack as a SAHM) if he sleeps like crap, nothing is stopping us from staying in bed late unless something is planned. Our night time routine is consistent! She recommends a sleep log (which I've seen recommended by you lovelies before, just not sure how to implement it.) I need something visual like a chart! Filling in a questionnaire every night/morning won't work for me. I know as ships love their paperwork.
She recommends a lovey which is weird considering most child safety groups don't want any toys, blankets, pillows, etc in bed with them until 1 years old! The author wants it to be with me for several days and to use it as something to associate with sleep. Like having it on my chest for their last feeding and story time. Downside mentioned, your screwed if you forget it or lose it!?!
That's as far as he's got but even just that (mostly sleep logs) has me anxious and thinking we've messed him up forever. I know that's a lot but this is overwhelming. DH does say she addresses pets and he's not sleeping near enough! We must be missing his I'm tired queues in the evening. I'm like if he sleeps 14 hours in a 24 hour period, how am I doing anything else especially when DH is at work? How do I make dinner when his bedtime routine is in the middle of that!?! Right now, that is at least an hour and a half on a good night! If I start at 6:30, I'm not starting dinner for myself till 8, depending on what it is, I could be eating at 9-10pm. This doesn't include feeding 3 dogs, letting them out, etc. I'm sure once he's in the routine better it'll be better but right now this is a lot and seems unrealistic like when guests are visiting, going on vacation which is in the near future.
I'm starting with positive association with sleeping/napping place and moving his bedtime back 15 minutes. Is a week long enough before bumping it back again? The author suggested after 6:30pm, to monitor his tired signals closely and to put him to bed as soon as you see them. Not sure if we're supposed to start bedtime routine then or just plop them right in bed!?! Our night time routine is currently started around 8:30pm. This week, I'll move it to 8:15pm.
TL;DR: NCSS is a bunch of changes to figure out the best fit for your little one!
|
|
|
Post by goldenlove on Jun 19, 2017 5:45:24 GMT -6
Cheshie6 It's got to be tough with your H working away. It's nice that he's reading that book for you. Maybe some of the other moms with spouses away can give you better advice about that aspect. I know a lot of people recommend meal planning and freezer meals to help with dinner, but we've never been good at that. We try to just do quick, simple meals. As for the sleep log, we use "Baby Tracker" and you can view your log in chart form. It was helpful for me just last week when trying to figure out a schedule for C's naps. I think you do have to buy the pay version to use the chart but I think the first 30 days using the app are free. Here's an example of what it shows... Attachment Deleted
|
|
danib
Sapphire
Posts: 4,101 Likes: 12,682
|
Post by danib on Jun 19, 2017 6:32:52 GMT -6
Cheshie6 is there any way you would consider an early dinner? I feel your pain/struggle. Having DH come and go really messes with making a routine... but basically you do what you have to do while he's gone, and he needs to settle into your established routine when he's home (otherwise it's setting you up for failure). I'm sure my routine wouldn't work for everyone. But we eat sometime between 5 and 6pm. I do dishes while they play or have dessert. We get cleaned up (bath if needed, pajamas, etc). We all get in my bed to relax for a half hour (we watch TV, which isn't "recommended" but it wotks for us). 8:00 we read a story and tuck in C. H nurses then goes right to sleep. Honestly he is ready for sleep by 7:30, but I just can't do his bedtime while C is up so we make due.
|
|
|
Post by sophiegrace on Jun 19, 2017 7:24:21 GMT -6
Cheshie6 +1 to baby tracker. I don't log her sleep anymore, but it's what I used to find out the routine she was trying to set for herself and missing. What was important to me was not only to mark when she was actually sleeping, but to mark her sleep signs too. For me, an overtired or over stimulated baby can add hours to bedtime so it was important for me to learn when she was first getting tired. I'll be honest, my life is ruled by the schedule of naps and bedtime. My H and I had grand ideas while I was pregnant of not changing a thing once M was here and she would just nap when she was tired and we were out and about. L.O.L. No. She needs the sleep and the consistency much more than anything I need to be doing. And the consistency helps me too because I know exactly how long I have in between to get stuff done. Some days it's just not fun at all, but I remind myself that it's temporary. Soon she'll only be taking one nap and then none at all. As for the end of day shenanigans, I get you. It's like a circus with barely controlled chaos at my house for a few hours. The dogs have always eaten at exactly 6 o'clock so I now use that as the starting point to wind down the night. 6:00 dogs eat 6:10 go for walk in stroller 6:25 high chair for some solids -sometimes I take this opportunity to either prep a quick dinner or eat something we had prepped over the weekend (If she's not interested in food we head over to the play area for some tummy time) 6:55 bath time I let her play as long as she wants and then we get out, dance to somewhere over the rainbow, get a baby massage (eczema lotion), and get the sleep suit on. Back out to the living room where we sit in the same chair and read the same two books. Back into the bedroom where I nurse her and then put her down where I lay my hand on her chest until she starts to drift off.
|
|
tgrimes
Diamond
Posts: 27,588 Likes: 138,016
|
Post by tgrimes on Jun 19, 2017 7:29:18 GMT -6
Cheshie6 I'm just going to spout out a bunch of anecdotes. Before H, we used to eat after M went to bed. We only recently started eating before 7:30. Some times one of us has to abandon ship, put H to bed & then eat alone after that. It just depends on the night. -When researching sleep, I was shocked to see that M wasn't getting enough sleep. Once I told people that she was sleeping 10-11 hours at night they were surprised and kept telling me babies don't sleep that long. Whatevs. My sister has 4 kids , used to be a SAHM & her H always had to work late. She'd keep the kids up til 10pm so he could see them. Since she didn't have to work, the kids would sleep until 8 the next morning. Obviously, some kids will still be early risers when going to bed that late, but it worked for them. My point is, just because a book or WHO or doctors tell us, don't do this, don't do that, etc, don't get hung up on it. It's okay to do your own thing or what works best for y'all. The no cry sleep solution didn't work for M but there are a lot of good tips in it, like the lovey, for example. We also used a baby tracker app when M was a baby. MH ended up deleting it from my phone because I went a little overboard with it. LOL. But it definitely made it easier to see patterns and what not.
|
|
|
Post by sophiegrace on Jun 19, 2017 7:50:21 GMT -6
Listen to tgrimes!! She is wise and wonderful. As for the lovey, I slept with M's for a night or two in my shirt. If it has to get washed I just shove it back in there for an hour or two so it smells like me again. After she took to it I bought four more and put them in a safe place for just in case.
|
|
waitwhat
Sapphire
Posts: 4,801 Likes: 15,856
|
Post by waitwhat on Jun 19, 2017 7:55:38 GMT -6
|
|
Cheshie6
Sapphire
Posts: 4,928 Likes: 15,253
|
Post by Cheshie6 on Jun 19, 2017 9:10:25 GMT -6
I'm going to get that app. The app I'm currently using doesn't do all that and I need this to see
ETA: Thank you for all the advice! @waitehat, babies can have water?
Here's me wearing Mickey lovey! DH is jealous that Mickey is at 2nd base
|
|
|
Post by sophiegrace on Jun 19, 2017 9:16:04 GMT -6
Cheshie6 yes to water! At six months their kidneys are now in perfect working order and they will just flush out what the body doesn't need.
|
|
waitwhat
Sapphire
Posts: 4,801 Likes: 15,856
|
Post by waitwhat on Jun 19, 2017 9:35:05 GMT -6
Cheshie6 Yes! I also don't give him a ton. I put a few ounces in a straw cup. He gets some but most of it ends up on him.
|
|
Cheshie6
Sapphire
Posts: 4,928 Likes: 15,253
|
Post by Cheshie6 on Jun 19, 2017 10:02:13 GMT -6
SAHMs, do you wake baby up at the same time every day or you let them sleep?
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
|
|
danib
Sapphire
Posts: 4,101 Likes: 12,682
|
Sleep Talk
Jun 19, 2017 10:05:30 GMT -6
via mobile
Post by danib on Jun 19, 2017 10:05:30 GMT -6
SAHMs, do you wake baby up at the same time every day or you let them sleep? Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk we sleep.
|
|
kleigh
Platinum
Posts: 2,246 Likes: 8,195
|
Sleep Talk
Jun 19, 2017 10:15:03 GMT -6
via mobile
Post by kleigh on Jun 19, 2017 10:15:03 GMT -6
SAHMs, do you wake baby up at the same time every day or you let them sleep? Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Not entirely a SAHM but home more days than not. If they've had a particularly nasty night with multiple wake ups and not able to fall back asleep and crying a lot then we let them sleep it off. Otherwise we wake them at 6 if they're not already up (they're usually up by then)..
|
|
kleigh
Platinum
Posts: 2,246 Likes: 8,195
|
Sleep Talk
Jun 19, 2017 10:23:41 GMT -6
via mobile
Post by kleigh on Jun 19, 2017 10:23:41 GMT -6
Cheshie6 Thank you for sharing!! I've started bringing the babies into our room more (and the nursery) bc previously we just spent most of our time downstairs in the kitchen/LR and now I realize they're so comfortable napping in the LR bc they're just so used to it that we have to acclimate them more to the bedrooms. Re dinner, I've started just eating earlier and going to bed earlier. It's what works right now. Ultimately I'd like to move their bedtime from 6:00/6:30 to 7:30 but right now we are still hit following their lead. I can't even fathom nap and sleep schedules right now bc they are two different babies and just aren't the same - AB needs to sleep every 2-2.5 hours and AV is more like a 3-3.5 hr awake time baby. So I just let them sleep when they're ready. When they BOTH go down to one nap then I'll coordinate that. Bedtime is super hard for us bc it absolutely requires two people there. The weird thing is regardless of their day sleep they both demand to go to sleep at the exact same moment. They both want to be held (not rocked etc) to fall asleep. If you pick one up and not the other, the other screams and disrupts the one being held from falling asleep. Then they get in this hysteria reacting off each other crying and can't calm down -then forget bed time. So our biggest goal is to get them to fall asleep out of arms so that one person can actually manage bedtime for two. I almost did it last night but H is a wiener sometimes and was getting all antsy that me putting AB to sleep isn't "his routine" and he's not gonna sleep well. Wellllllllbuddy, he woke up two times instead of the normal 5-6... I'd say mom as got the touch 😉
|
|
|
Sleep Talk
Jun 19, 2017 10:26:49 GMT -6
via mobile
Post by goldenlove on Jun 19, 2017 10:26:49 GMT -6
Cheshie6 hilarious!! And I put water in C's cup while he's eating. I let him take sips once in a while. He drinks less than an ounce.
|
|
waitwhat
Sapphire
Posts: 4,801 Likes: 15,856
|
Sleep Talk
Jun 19, 2017 11:15:37 GMT -6
via mobile
Post by waitwhat on Jun 19, 2017 11:15:37 GMT -6
SAHMs, do you wake baby up at the same time every day or you let them sleep? Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Sleep!!!!
|
|
Cheshie6
Sapphire
Posts: 4,928 Likes: 15,253
|
Post by Cheshie6 on Jun 19, 2017 12:51:07 GMT -6
So today, L doesn't want to nap!?! Why can't my baby see this baby and be like, "oh, that's what it looks like!"
|
|