STP
Diamond
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Post by STP on Sept 18, 2020 16:43:18 GMT -6
I was very young when I got married (25) and had a terrible model. I was not great at being married. I have grown a lot in 13 years and think I’m a great partner, but it’s a journey.* *is this the appropriate use of journey? We were 22, but we were so broke there was no way to do separate and pay rent, lol.
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TheoV2
Sapphire
Posts: 3,597 Likes: 20,374
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FFFC
Sept 18, 2020 16:47:00 GMT -6
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Post by TheoV2 on Sept 18, 2020 16:47:00 GMT -6
I was very young when I got married (25) and had a terrible model. I was not great at being married. I have grown a lot in 13 years and think I’m a great partner, but it’s a journey.* *is this the appropriate use of journey? We were 22, but we were so broke there was no way to do separate and pay rent, lol. 24 here and same.
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FFFC
Sept 18, 2020 16:52:02 GMT -6
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Post by Deleted on Sept 18, 2020 16:52:02 GMT -6
I moved in at 19 and became full blown adult then. Married at 21. I had a kid at 26 so I don't feel like marriage at 25 is young.
But I think money issues can happen at any age and aren't tied with age.
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bazi
Opal
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Post by bazi on Sept 18, 2020 16:54:29 GMT -6
DH and I just divvied up the bills and we just manage our own shit. We talk about large purchases and make big decisions together but otherwise if I got Amazon coming, he has no idea. I have quite a few friends that do this and I don't say anything but there have been more than a few times that one in the couple has done something and the other had no clue cause they never knew when one paid something or some level of fuckery.
I don't say anything IRL.
I just can't do the I don't know if it's been paid, I don't know how much your pay was, I don't know how much is in this account life.
I need to know everything. All of it. It's my issue and baggage and not reflective of any relationship.
I feel similarly. I actually think it’s because I’m not a super-trusting person that I want to account for every dollar in every account. I guess it helps that I’m the primary on every account, and it’s all connected to my email/phone number. H has logins but if he moved a penny I know about it.
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FFFC
Sept 18, 2020 16:54:35 GMT -6
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Post by Deleted on Sept 18, 2020 16:54:35 GMT -6
I was with DH when he opened his first bank account I think so we've been together a long time 😆
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STP
Diamond
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Post by STP on Sept 18, 2020 17:16:55 GMT -6
I was with DH when he opened his first bank account I think so we've been together a long time 😆 Same actually. In NYC. We were freaking babies.
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FFFC
Sept 18, 2020 17:29:05 GMT -6
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Post by imapenguin on Sept 18, 2020 17:29:05 GMT -6
I was with DH when he opened his first bank account I think so we've been together a long time 😆 Same actually. In NYC. We were freaking babies. I also remember going with MH to the local credit union and opening our joint account that we still have today. We were newly engaged, fresh college grads and had barely enough cash for the minimum to open a free checking account. We’ve come so far.
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STP
Diamond
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Post by STP on Sept 18, 2020 17:30:01 GMT -6
Same actually. In NYC. We were freaking babies. I also remember going with MH to the local credit union and opening our joint account that we still have today. We were newly engaged, fresh college grads and had barely enough cash for the minimum to open a free checking account. We’ve come so far. We are one. The teller had a look of pure pity on his face 😂 It took me a year to land a real job. But man, the sex was great, lol. To be young and hungry for life.
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FFFC
Sept 18, 2020 17:35:59 GMT -6
Post by Deleted on Sept 18, 2020 17:35:59 GMT -6
Way late to this but adding in my scenario.
H and I have been together for over 25 years and until just last year, had always kept all finances separate. It worked just fine for us.
As part of estate planning only, we have recently made all of our non-registered accounts joint. I have never looked at "his" accounts and I do not believe he has looked at mine. Basically we're trying to avoid probate.
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STP
Diamond
Posts: 43,332 Likes: 314,807
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Post by STP on Sept 18, 2020 17:36:26 GMT -6
[mention]imapenguin [/mention] that made me sit back for a second. I’m next to STD on my knitting couch, and she’s cuddling in. There’s dinner in the oven. Kids laughing upstairs. DH just gave me the “tonight, baby” look.
In my sweet little house that I love.
Today, I worked my job that I enjoy. I walked four pooches that made me laugh.
We have come a long way. Here’s to building lives we love, friend.
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cp3
Opal
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Sept 18, 2020 17:40:29 GMT -6
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Post by cp3 on Sept 18, 2020 17:40:29 GMT -6
I was very young when I got married (25) and had a terrible model. I was not great at being married. I have grown a lot in 13 years and think I’m a great partner, but it’s a journey.* *is this the appropriate use of journey? We were 22, but we were so broke there was no way to do separate and pay rent, lol. 23 but same. No way we were able to keep separate finances then.
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McBenny
Unicorn
#sickomode
Posts: 52,183 Likes: 296,686
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Sept 18, 2020 17:43:28 GMT -6
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Post by McBenny on Sept 18, 2020 17:43:28 GMT -6
I don't like to cuddle. I Will do it if need be. It's not my thing.
Not people or animals or children. I get hot.
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FFFC
Sept 18, 2020 17:51:21 GMT -6
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Post by imapenguin on Sept 18, 2020 17:51:21 GMT -6
[mention]imapenguin [/mention] that made me sit back for a second. I’m next to STD on my knitting couch, and she’s cuddling in. There’s dinner in the oven. Kids laughing upstairs. DH just gave me the “tonight, baby” look. In my sweet little house that I love. Today, I worked my job that I enjoy. I walked four pooches that made me laugh. We have come a long way. Here’s to building lives we love, friend. MH and I talked today about how we’re living a life better than we could have imagined 11 years ago when we were trying to find an apartment and stretching our budget to afford what only barely qualified as habitable space. It’s crazy. And nice to remember that we have a lot to be thankful for.
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pobre
Ruby
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Post by pobre on Sept 18, 2020 17:57:29 GMT -6
I moved in at 19 and became full blown adult then. Married at 21. I had a kid at 26 so I don't feel like marriage at 25 is young. But I think money issues can happen at any age and aren't tied with age. I married at 25 and had my kid at 27 and think 25 is young to marry. 🤷🏻♀️
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AmyG
Ruby
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FFFC
Sept 18, 2020 17:58:45 GMT -6
Post by AmyG on Sept 18, 2020 17:58:45 GMT -6
I was very young when I got married (25) and had a terrible model. I was not great at being married. I have grown a lot in 13 years and think I’m a great partner, but it’s a journey.* *is this the appropriate use of journey? We were 22, but we were so broke there was no way to do separate and pay rent, lol. too much of our life it was joint everything in order to pay the bills. And then when I stopped working cause childcare was more than my paycheck, it became even more important to share resources, and to have all the expenditures seen openly to each other so we could help keep each other in check * *which basically means keeping dh in check cause gosh that man loves to buy shit.
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AmyG
Ruby
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FFFC
Sept 18, 2020 18:00:56 GMT -6
Post by AmyG on Sept 18, 2020 18:00:56 GMT -6
I was married at 20, he was 28 (we'd been together for 2 years) and I was the mature one. And still am even tho he's over 60 now (gosh) I'm not, however, an old fogey--he is. lol.
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jaygee
Diamond
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Sept 18, 2020 18:01:58 GMT -6
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Post by jaygee on Sept 18, 2020 18:01:58 GMT -6
I moved in at 19 and became full blown adult then. Married at 21. I had a kid at 26 so I don't feel like marriage at 25 is young. But I think money issues can happen at any age and aren't tied with age. I married at 25 and had my kid at 27 and think 25 is young to marry. 🤷🏻♀️ Same on the marriage part. (I was just shy of 24) And I’m still married, which some days I chalk up to luck. Lol. Like what the heck was I thinking getting married that young. This is just for me. And my life. Don’t @ me.
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FFFC
Sept 18, 2020 18:13:46 GMT -6
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Post by Deleted on Sept 18, 2020 18:13:46 GMT -6
I moved in at 19 and became full blown adult then. Married at 21. I had a kid at 26 so I don't feel like marriage at 25 is young. But I think money issues can happen at any age and aren't tied with age. I married at 25 and had my kid at 27 and think 25 is young to marry. 🤷🏻♀️ Thats a pretty common age around here, early to mid twenties so I guess regional.
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sewfi2
Sapphire
Posts: 4,319 Likes: 15,340
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Post by sewfi2 on Sept 18, 2020 18:21:15 GMT -6
Driving through the Florida Keys is a fucking nightmare for me. OMG yes. Have you ever done the Sunshine Skyway that connects lower St Petes to Tampa? Nightmares for days on that one That bridge got me over my fear of bridges when I was a kid! It was really pretty at night, all lit up. I grew up in St. Pete, so I knew about the old bridge, but one of my aunts on moved down to Bradenton so there was no avoiding crossing it.
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Tlex
Ruby
Posts: 22,759 Likes: 154,991
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Post by Tlex on Sept 18, 2020 18:24:01 GMT -6
I do feel agnostic/atheist can tap into spirituality their own way though. I don’t see them comfortless by any means. Many people are spiritual without the belief in a specific deity. And spiritual to me is a spectrum. It can be reading a good self help book that keeps you tuned to self and the betterment of self. I think that is spiritual. Maybe not how we normally see spirituality. But to me, that’s spiritual growth. I don’t see spirituality as a black and white, starts here and ends here type of thing. I’ve thought about this a lot apparently. I think so too. All the work I put into my home and my KonMari is the closest I have ever felt to having a spiritual practice. Of course it’s based on her Shinto religious beliefs so there’s that! But they are not my beliefs, etc That and yoga, sometimes I feel a new level of soemthingness when I actually am forced to be present in my body.
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FFFC
Sept 18, 2020 18:27:32 GMT -6
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Post by goldenbird on Sept 18, 2020 18:27:32 GMT -6
My H pays for house/utilities/entertainment bills. I pay for children everything (care, clothing, formula, etc) and all groceries. At first glance it may look like he pays more but boy let me tell you about childcare for 3 kids. Lol. I expect once all 3 kids are in elementary school we will be rearranging who pays for what. This is what we do.
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FFFC
Sept 18, 2020 18:28:00 GMT -6
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Post by miawallace on Sept 18, 2020 18:28:00 GMT -6
I do feel agnostic/atheist can tap into spirituality their own way though. I don’t see them comfortless by any means. Many people are spiritual without the belief in a specific deity. And spiritual to me is a spectrum. It can be reading a good self help book that keeps you tuned to self and the betterment of self. I think that is spiritual. Maybe not how we normally see spirituality. But to me, that’s spiritual growth. I don’t see spirituality as a black and white, starts here and ends here type of thing. I’ve thought about this a lot apparently. I think so too. All the work I put into my home and my KonMari is the closest I have ever felt to having a spiritual practice. Of course it’s based on her Shinto religious beliefs so there’s that! But they are not my beliefs, etc That and yoga, sometimes I feel a new level of soemthingness when I actually am forced to be present in my body. De-cluttering is such a spiritual process. I get why she would have some people say goodbye to things and acknowledge the use. I feel like I feel things very deeply and maybe that’s why I have a hard time with small talk and random chatter. I can talk about spirituality all day long.
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FFFC
Sept 18, 2020 18:29:39 GMT -6
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Post by Deleted on Sept 18, 2020 18:29:39 GMT -6
I think so too. All the work I put into my home and my KonMari is the closest I have ever felt to having a spiritual practice. Of course it’s based on her Shinto religious beliefs so there’s that! But they are not my beliefs, etc That and yoga, sometimes I feel a new level of soemthingness when I actually am forced to be present in my body. De-cluttering is such a spiritual process. I get why she would have some people say goodbye to things and acknowledge the use. I feel like I feel things very deeply and maybe that’s why I have a hard time with small talk and random chatter. I can talk about spirituality all day long. Me too!
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Tlex
Ruby
Posts: 22,759 Likes: 154,991
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Post by Tlex on Sept 18, 2020 18:31:14 GMT -6
When I was 18 I had a really scary health diagnosis and I came out of one appointment and felt sun on my face. I felt so alive and aware of what a precious thing it is to be able to feel sun on my face. Every time I get to experience that now I have a very tiny moment.
This is shared from deep in my vulnerable places folder so please don’t make fun.
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STP
Diamond
Posts: 43,332 Likes: 314,807
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Post by STP on Sept 18, 2020 18:31:25 GMT -6
I do feel agnostic/atheist can tap into spirituality their own way though. I don’t see them comfortless by any means. Many people are spiritual without the belief in a specific deity. And spiritual to me is a spectrum. It can be reading a good self help book that keeps you tuned to self and the betterment of self. I think that is spiritual. Maybe not how we normally see spirituality. But to me, that’s spiritual growth. I don’t see spirituality as a black and white, starts here and ends here type of thing. I’ve thought about this a lot apparently. I think so too. All the work I put into my home and my KonMari is the closest I have ever felt to having a spiritual practice. Of course it’s based on her Shinto religious beliefs so there’s that! But they are not my beliefs, etc That and yoga, sometimes I feel a new level of soemthingness when I actually am forced to be present in my body. Stop looking at my soul, it’s rude.
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Tlex
Ruby
Posts: 22,759 Likes: 154,991
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Post by Tlex on Sept 18, 2020 18:31:58 GMT -6
I think so too. All the work I put into my home and my KonMari is the closest I have ever felt to having a spiritual practice. Of course it’s based on her Shinto religious beliefs so there’s that! But they are not my beliefs, etc That and yoga, sometimes I feel a new level of soemthingness when I actually am forced to be present in my body. Stop looking at my soul, it’s rude. You’re the one who’s always writing excerpts from my diary!
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FFFC
Sept 18, 2020 18:32:56 GMT -6
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Post by miawallace on Sept 18, 2020 18:32:56 GMT -6
When I was 18 I had a really scary health diagnosis and I came out of one appointment and felt sun on my face. I felt so alive and aware of what a precious thing it is to be able to feel sun on my face. Every time I get to experience that now I have a very tiny moment. This is shared from deep in my vulnerable places folder so please don’t make fun. you just made me tear up a bit. I love this so much!
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Tlex
Ruby
Posts: 22,759 Likes: 154,991
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Post by Tlex on Sept 18, 2020 18:34:40 GMT -6
When I was 18 I had a really scary health diagnosis and I came out of one appointment and felt sun on my face. I felt so alive and aware of what a precious thing it is to be able to feel sun on my face. Every time I get to experience that now I have a very tiny moment. This is shared from deep in my vulnerable places folder so please don’t make fun. you just made me tear up a bit. I love this so much! ❤️ When I am in a depression period I always have a little voice that says “alright bitch be sad and dopey but have you tried sun on your face?” And it does help a little 🙃
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Tlex
Ruby
Posts: 22,759 Likes: 154,991
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Post by Tlex on Sept 18, 2020 18:35:29 GMT -6
The word precious is just awful I need to go look up synonyms now so I can never use it again.
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FFFC
Sept 18, 2020 18:38:16 GMT -6
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Post by miawallace on Sept 18, 2020 18:38:16 GMT -6
you just made me tear up a bit. I love this so much! ❤️ When I am in a depression period I always have a little voice that says “alright bitch be sad and dopey but have you tried sun on your face?” And it does help a little 🙃 Girl my mom is one of those peoples. Whenever I’m down my mom says “go stand outside in the sun and let the sun burn away your sads” honest to goodness it works. The sun provides so much healing.
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