tj
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Post by tj on Mar 31, 2020 10:58:50 GMT -6
Thanks pip.
I’m literally pulling out my hair guys. I have my first bald spot. I’ve always struggled with picking but this is the worst it has ever been. My hair! My precious hair! And I can’t stop!
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DGM
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Post by DGM on Mar 31, 2020 11:15:28 GMT -6
For us, it was a mixed blessing we moved away from my parents before all this happened. They would not have understood keeping my kids away from them.
I was initially very upset about the stay at home orders but 2.5 weeks later, I'm feeling ok. Using Zoom for BSF and MOPS has helped plus we did a Zoom with our former playgroup yesterday. One of my biggest lifesavers has been my MOPS daily check-ins on FB and getting outside everyday.
It is a struggle having MH home again so much. Thank God he goes to his empty classroom a few times/week. He finally agreed to see/talk to a counselor to deal with his stuff (which obviously affects our marriage), but the counselor hasn't called back. Not a huge surprise but a bummer. I hope once life is "normal" again, he'll still be willing.
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snowmoon
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Post by snowmoon on Mar 31, 2020 11:17:50 GMT -6
I feel like I have emotional whiplash. There are so many ups and downs in a single day that I'm exhausted and sensitive. All of the local trails and parks are closed now so I feel like I have no opportunities for nature therapy.
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snowmoon
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Post by snowmoon on Mar 31, 2020 11:21:39 GMT -6
DGM I'm struggling having my SO home so much as well. He is very anxious and it's wearing him thin. There have been a few times that I have had to go to work and been nervous to leave.
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mapleme
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Post by mapleme on Mar 31, 2020 11:24:51 GMT -6
I'm struggling hard today. I just want to curl into a ball and make the day go away. I'm just letting today be rough and I'll work on making it better tomorrow or the next day. It's also CD1 and while that's not usually a big issue for me, nothing is usual right now and it definitely not helping. We're letting the kids binge on My Little Ponies and just letting the day be. I'm just so emotionally overwhelmed.
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tj
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Post by tj on Mar 31, 2020 11:32:15 GMT -6
Thanks pip. I’m literally pulling out my hair guys. I have my first bald spot. I’ve always struggled with picking but this is the worst it has ever been. My hair! My precious hair! And I can’t stop! Does anything like ponytails/braids/hats help with the picking at the hair while you work on the anxiety that's causing it? I do have my hair in pony tails for now. But I’ve broken off so much of my hair that I can still grab pieces and pull them out. With a pony tail I can only do the subconscious picking, whereas when it is down I will spiral into picking on purpose. A hat is an idea. I don’t really wear hats. I never even considered it.
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mapleme
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Post by mapleme on Mar 31, 2020 11:39:23 GMT -6
Does anything like ponytails/braids/hats help with the picking at the hair while you work on the anxiety that's causing it? I do have my hair in pony tails for now. But I’ve broken off so much of my hair that I can still grab pieces and pull them out. With a pony tail I can only do the subconscious picking, whereas when it is down I will spiral into picking on purpose. A hat is an idea. I don’t really wear hats. I never even considered it. My friend with trichotillomania wears a bandana to help.
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Speedy
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Post by Speedy on Mar 31, 2020 12:27:56 GMT -6
I think I mentioned before that my anxiety was already bad before all of this started, and the state of the world has just compounded it. Even with a bump in my anxiety medication I'm still finding myself spiraling on things. I had a panic attack the other day because I just couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong, but of course there's nothing that can be done.
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Post by ovenrack on Mar 31, 2020 12:37:23 GMT -6
My friend with trichotillomania wears lightweight winter hats (beanies?) because she finds them more comfortable than, say, a baseball cap.
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Post by ovenrack on Mar 31, 2020 12:41:20 GMT -6
Like @pipandme, I restarted my antidepressant, which I had weaned myself off of maybe 9 months ago. I think it's helping.
My sleep has gone downhill from that, but I'm hoping a few nights of Advil PM (or something else to help me fall asleep? Any recommendations? I also have THC gummies I've been too nervous to try!) will help reset a healthy sleep pattern. Last night I slept 10-5, with Advil pm just before getting in bed, which felt pretty normal and good.
I'm trying to put down my phone for long stretches. I feel like reading about politics and reading coronavirus coverage is becoming a spectator sport, or hobby, to me. I need to step back.
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Post by charlotte on Mar 31, 2020 12:49:38 GMT -6
ovenrack have you tried melatonin? I take it most nights & it really helps me.
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tj
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Post by tj on Mar 31, 2020 13:30:51 GMT -6
Like @pipandme, I restarted my antidepressant, which I had weaned myself off of maybe 9 months ago. I think it's helping. My sleep has gone downhill from that, but I'm hoping a few nights of Advil PM (or something else to help me fall asleep? Any recommendations? I also have THC gummies I've been too nervous to try!) will help reset a healthy sleep pattern. Last night I slept 10-5, with Advil pm just before getting in bed, which felt pretty normal and good. I'm trying to put down my phone for long stretches. I feel like reading about politics and reading coronavirus coverage is becoming a spectator sport, or hobby, to me. I need to step back. Thc gummies REALLY help me sleep! Start with a half. Or even a quarter. Right before bedtime. Shouldn’t be any side effects. I only quit bc I was job searching. I considered starting back up since I’m at hone for at least another month.
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Post by Dramaphile on Mar 31, 2020 13:41:33 GMT -6
My sleep is pretty awful, I'm staying up way too late and having a hard time settling down because my brain won't shut up, and then I wake up in the middle of the night, either because Nugget is climbing in bed with us, or because the dog is taking up my space or for no reason whatsoever. This week I seem to be better at focusing for work, last week was crap, and my work is suffering from ADHD plus no space to work except my sewing desk in the middle of my house (house is a ranch, bedroom is too small, kitchen would mean getting kicked out or invaded every time someone needs to eat, and both of my kids would scream at the door if I tried closing myself in somewhere). I envy people with basements and extra bedrooms and garages and multiple floors. I canceled my dr's appt a couple of weeks to talk about ADHD meds because it was when everything was starting, wondering if I should see if they can do a phone appointment because I could really use some help focusing.
I'm trying to avoid some of the more dark news items because we're doing all we can at this point and it would just make me more anxious.
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tj
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Post by tj on Mar 31, 2020 14:08:24 GMT -6
My sleep is pretty awful, I'm staying up way too late and having a hard time settling down because my brain won't shut up, and then I wake up in the middle of the night, either because Nugget is climbing in bed with us, or because the dog is taking up my space or for no reason whatsoever. This week I seem to be better at focusing for work, last week was crap, and my work is suffering from ADHD plus no space to work except my sewing desk in the middle of my house (house is a ranch, bedroom is too small, kitchen would mean getting kicked out or invaded every time someone needs to eat, and both of my kids would scream at the door if I tried closing myself in somewhere). I envy people with basements and extra bedrooms and garages and multiple floors. I canceled my dr's appt a couple of weeks to talk about ADHD meds because it was when everything was starting, wondering if I should see if they can do a phone appointment because I could really use some help focusing. I'm trying to avoid some of the more dark news items because we're doing all we can at this point and it would just make me more anxious. I am having all those issues as well. I can’t even imagine having adhd on top of it. Things are hard enough without issues focusing. You’re doing amazing. Hang in there. Hugs.
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mapleme
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Post by mapleme on Mar 31, 2020 14:38:06 GMT -6
BTW, breaking into the kids' crayons and coloring books or an adult coloring book is a great calming activity to do after the kids are in bed and you want to avoid the news - no thinking about what's going on; just concentrating on coloring inside the lines and deciding what color you want to use for a specific space. Puzzles serve this purpose for me. It's something that I can control. It occupies my brain and I can complete it and then feel accomplished.
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mapleme
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Post by mapleme on Mar 31, 2020 15:34:07 GMT -6
A whole afternoon of My Little Ponies has done wonders for my mental health. I can breathe a little bit more with fewer people needing me.
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Post by charlotte on Mar 31, 2020 16:38:28 GMT -6
I’m on an emotional roller coaster at all times right now. I’m allowing myself as much escapism as possible with things like reading, podcasts, etc.
I have been having a lot of trouble sleeping these last three days. My mind just races when I lay down at night.
Blah. I hate all of the unknowns. My motivation and energy is so low right now because everything feels like a combo of hopelessness and chaos.
Every time I hear about an extended family member NOT isolating, I get absolutely ragey and it makes me feel hopeless.
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tj
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Post by tj on Mar 31, 2020 20:14:48 GMT -6
This is also a good reminder. Public Service Announcement Parents: What we are being asked to do is not humanly possible. There is a reason we are either a working parent, a stay-at-home parent, or a part-time working parent. Working, parenting, and teaching are three different jobs that cannot be done at the same time. It's not hard because you are doing it wrong. It's hard because it's too much. Do the best you can. When you have to pick, because at some point you will, choose connection. Pick playing a game over arguing about an academic assignment. Pick teaching your child to do laundry rather that feeling frustrated that they aren't helping. Pick laughing, and snuggling, and reminding them that they are safe. If you are stressed, lower your expectations where you can and virtually reach out for social connection. We are in this together to stay well. That means mentally well, too. Emily W. King, Ph.D. Ok. Sure. Except for the fucking privilege implied in that. If it were as easy as choosing my kids every time work got in the way, or even 50% of the times that work interferes with what my kids wanted/needed, I wouldn’t have a job anymore. And yeah. I’m saying that from a place of privilege. Bc I could lose my job and we would survive. But a lot of people can’t. I have friends who are still both essential. One is working from 4 am - 11 am with no lunch, while the other works noon to 8 pm. They each teach their 6 kids for 3 hours and feed them a home cooked meal. Then sleep for a few hours. How on earth is is that manageable? And how on earth will they ever choose a hug, laugh, and snuggle? Half of their kids are deaf. And they no longer have help with that. And how does a marriage that is already struggling with day to day life survive this kind of stress?
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DGM
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Post by DGM on Mar 31, 2020 23:24:30 GMT -6
DGM I'm struggling having my SO home so much as well. He is very anxious and it's wearing him thin. There have been a few times that I have had to go to work and been nervous to leave. 6 foot hugs. Nervous to leave bc of what he's like to himself or the kids?
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milano
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Post by milano on Apr 1, 2020 6:30:25 GMT -6
Baby talk ahead.
I'm really upset that I cant spend time with my nephew. He's 5 months which is such a fun age and I'm missing it. Plus we haven't seen him much because he was born in Oct and we were all sick until basically Christmas. Then sick again in Feb, so a lot of visits got cancelled.
Also my SIL is getting induced tomorrow with her second and who knows when we will get to meet that baby. She is really anxious about giving birth during this and is upset that her family can't be there. I just want to see and love on all the babies!
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milano
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Post by milano on Apr 1, 2020 6:37:40 GMT -6
I worry about exposure for MH. When he is home I feel calm but when he is on call I'm on edge and tend to start spiraling on worst-case scenarios. He *should* only be on call every third week so that will help moving forward, they've switched most office visits to telehealth so he will be working from home every 3rd week and then working as the solo office practitioner on the other week. So the risk is reduced, but obviously still there. And he mostly hides his concerns/stress from me but the other day before going to the hospital he was very obviously stressed out and it freaked me out.
And I feel like my parents are out and about way too much even though they say all the right things to show they understand how serious this is. But they are still doing unnecessary store trips, etc. STAY HOME. I've stopped asking questions because I'd rather just not know.
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milano
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Post by milano on Apr 1, 2020 6:46:08 GMT -6
Also, when MH comes home after being gone for 2 days and my kids are so excited to see and hug him and they have to wait until after he showers...that's really fucking hard to watch. J gets it but M doesn't and she just goes from level 10 excited to... "oh,ok."
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stringy
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Post by stringy on Apr 1, 2020 6:59:50 GMT -6
milano, we got a new niece last week and....who knows when we'll meet her. It sucks.
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stringy
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Post by stringy on Apr 1, 2020 7:02:42 GMT -6
My mom was counting down until we'd all been quarantined for two weeks - which has passed - and then wants to see us. Not like snuggle up on the couch, but meet at a park or trail or bike ride or something. She has outright said she doesn't want to pressure me since I'm clearly avoiding it. But yet keeps bringing it up. I'm a pretty hard no on the kids, bc P cannot social distance, and M will be kind of freaked if I tell her she can't touch them. My dad is very high risk and my mom is at risk just via age. They live like a mile away. We can't* not see them until May or June. But how do we weigh the risk if none of us have seen anyone minus very mindful store runs a few times. Its really weighing on me. And her bday is next week.
*we can, but it really sucks.
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rugger
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Post by rugger on Apr 1, 2020 7:13:23 GMT -6
stringy I feel ya on the new niece thing. My brother is about to become a Dad for the first time and I have no idea when we're going to be able to meet the baby. I mean, they're in NC, so it wouldn't be right away anyway, but still. Also, I saw a picture of a boy playing tic-tac-toe on the storm door of his grandma's house. So they could see each other and play a game together, but still stay safe. Could you do something like that with your mom?
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snowmoon
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Post by snowmoon on Apr 1, 2020 7:19:02 GMT -6
DGM I'm struggling having my SO home so much as well. He is very anxious and it's wearing him thin. There have been a few times that I have had to go to work and been nervous to leave. 6 foot hugs. Nervous to leave bc of what he's like to himself or the kids? He and B already butt heads and I feel like I have to be the referee a lot. To be clear, he would never hurt them, but there are times that they both end up in tears and he's not as emotionally gentle as he should be.
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DGM
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Post by DGM on Apr 1, 2020 12:28:30 GMT -6
6 foot hugs. Nervous to leave bc of what he's like to himself or the kids? He and B already butt heads and I feel like I have to be the referee a lot. To be clear, he would never hurt them, but there are times that they both end up in tears and he's not as emotionally gentle as he should be. Solidarity, snowmoon. I have to referee MH and the kids at times too. It's exhausting. Yes, he's had to do it for me too but I feel much less often.
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tj
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Post by tj on Apr 1, 2020 16:35:30 GMT -6
Question for those who have dealt with anxiety prior to this viral shitshow. Did anxiety ever prevent you from being able to watch a tv show/movie due to the suspense being too much for you to handle? Really good question. I have anxiety. I cannot watch horror flicks. I’ve always said it’s bc they give me nightmares. But it’s really more like I can’t sleep bc I stay up all night worrying about them. So does my anxiety affect my tv/movie watching? Yeah probably. But in my case, not necessarily suspense so much as fear.
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nikkipal
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Post by nikkipal on Apr 1, 2020 17:10:37 GMT -6
Question for those who have dealt with anxiety prior to this viral shitshow. Did anxiety ever prevent you from being able to watch a tv show/movie due to the suspense being too much for you to handle? I have had a lot of trouble finding things to watch that don’t bother my anxiety.
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tj
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Post by tj on Apr 1, 2020 19:03:46 GMT -6
Mh is asking me questions regarding mortality rates so I starting googling and running calculations and holy fuckballs panic attack panic attack panic attack. Please pass the Xanax and ovenrack’s gummies!
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