stringy
Opal
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Post by stringy on Apr 2, 2020 6:42:03 GMT -6
Oh don't worry guys, my dad was in the ER last night because his whole hand/arm was blown up with cellulitis. So now he and my mom have been in a local ER and we won't be interacting. Nothing like a 10pm ER phone call to incite panic. I thought they were downtown at the big hospital.
(finding a positive, he had IV abx, is home, and my mom said the ER was empty and gowned/prepared)
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Post by charlotte on Apr 2, 2020 6:54:53 GMT -6
stringy ugh that sucks so much. I’m glad they got it treated before it could get even worse.
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Post by charlotte on Apr 2, 2020 13:49:25 GMT -6
I’m not coping today.
I’m finding myself thinking “... well, maybe next year will be better. 2021 will be my year.” IT’S ONLY APRIL 2.
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Speedy
Sapphire
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Post by Speedy on Apr 2, 2020 13:52:37 GMT -6
I had a dream last night that my mom died from covid. It's been messing with me all day.
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mapleme
Amethyst
Posts: 6,065 Likes: 16,081
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Post by mapleme on Apr 2, 2020 15:33:19 GMT -6
Today has been such a fucking roller coaster. Good things. Bad things. So many THINGS.
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snowmoon
Sapphire
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Post by snowmoon on Apr 2, 2020 15:54:55 GMT -6
Today was tough. B is having a very hard day and lots of big feelings. There's been lots of yelling and lits of tears.
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stringy
Opal
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Post by stringy on Apr 2, 2020 17:15:39 GMT -6
This is such new territory. There's going to be bad days. And your bad days won't be the same as your kids or spouses bad days. Or maybe you'll all have a bad day. It sucks.
If anyone follows Glennon Doyle on IG, she's been giving little 10 min pep talks every morning that are pretty great and like mini therapy. I don't love them via IG but the message is still great.
My therapist described it to me the other day as a circular spiral, and each time you go past the low shitty part, now you've been there before and you might know a little more how to cope and what to do, and then it'll be ok for a day or two, and then you'll be back in that spot again a few days later and after 2/3 times it might feel familiar and you know what to do.
That may not make sense cuz there was more context to it that I'm not sharing, but still feels relevant.
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milano
Emerald
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Post by milano on Apr 2, 2020 18:43:23 GMT -6
We also had a rough day, specifically with J. He was just kind of an emotional mess about everything, all day. I have to remind myself to be extra patient and loving with him and I think he's anxious. He gets downright panicky if he can't get to me/hug me the second he decides he needs one, which is like, very frequently. It's super frustrating but also heartbreaking because I know his little mind is just spinning.
He's been back to having frequent bad dreams too which means all of our sleep is suffering. Arghh.
MH also has nearly zero patience with him when he's being difficult so I'm constantly mediating which I hate because then I feel like I'm parenting both of them. And of course J prefers me to him, always, and I cannot do everything for everyone in this house at all times so that creates even more issues.
We're all going to emerge from this thing totally fucked up, aren't we?
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tj
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Post by tj on Apr 2, 2020 18:44:43 GMT -6
Someone tell me not to eat a whole pizza.
Or to eat a whole pizza.
It’s gf and df.
What do I do?
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milano
Emerald
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Post by milano on Apr 2, 2020 18:48:28 GMT -6
Someone tell me not to eat a whole pizza. Or to eat a whole pizza. It’s gf and df. What do I do? GF crust is usually super thin so like half the calories. So basically you'd be eating half a pizza. So eat the whole/half pizza. Now you do the same for me, but with about beer. I've already had 2 of the 4 pack of mango sours. I should just finish it off, right? Or I shouldn't.
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tj
Moderator
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Post by tj on Apr 2, 2020 18:50:33 GMT -6
Hugs to y’all having a rough day. And kiddos with rough days.
I had another breakdown last night. Mh is handling them so well and of course that just makes me feel worse.
I do feel like my kids are handling things really well. But I have to be much more cognizant of E’s anxiety? ocd? adhd? meltdowns. Anytime anything isn’t exactly the way she thought it was going to be or changes or anything is different or odd... she loses her mind. If we can be calm and remind her that a blue cup holds exactly as much milk as a pink cup, they are the same size and shape, and it’s all going to be ok, she’s ok. But if I roll my eyes and say just use the blue cup for heavens sake! It’s hours of tears. Sigh.
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tj
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Posts: 9,912 Likes: 24,842
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Post by tj on Apr 2, 2020 18:51:29 GMT -6
Someone tell me not to eat a whole pizza. Or to eat a whole pizza. It’s gf and df. What do I do? GF crust is usually super thin so like half the calories. So basically you'd be eating half a pizza. So eat the whole/half pizza. Now you do the same for me, but with about beer. I've already had 2 of the 4 pack of mango sours. I should just finish it off, right? Or I shouldn't. You might as well drink it all. Bc it’s thirsty Thursday and mango sours are gross. So you might as well finish them off and be done with them.
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DGM
Sapphire
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Post by DGM on Apr 2, 2020 20:03:29 GMT -6
MH's on-site teaching has officially been cancelled for the rest of the academic year. Sigh. Happy for him bc he came home so stressed everyday and now that won't happen. Meh for me bc I don't want a repeat of my mental health low as he worked from home the previous 2 years.
Then to add to my spiral, his friend from the FFFC thread said something to me this morning he immediately regretted bc he saw how it could make me bitter against MH. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh.
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tj
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Post by tj on Apr 2, 2020 22:22:27 GMT -6
MH's on-site teaching has officially been cancelled for the rest of the academic year. Sigh. Happy for him bc he came home so stressed everyday and now that won't happen. Meh for me bc I don't want a repeat of my mental health low as he worked from home the previous 2 years. Then to add to my spiral, his friend from the FFFC thread said something to me this morning he immediately regretted bc he saw how it could make me bitter against MH. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. Oh DGM . Ok. Let’s break this down girl. 1) I’m sorry. Both of you being home 24/7 together alone (ahem, to be further addressed momentarily) is hard. You two need to find a way to still get that me time. Are his classes canceled? Or just doing them on-site? Bc if he’s still doing the classes, then he needs to find a place to make his “classroom/office” and he needs to spend his time there to plan and perform his classes. If they are canceled altogether then may the Lord have mercy on you both. 2) regardless of his schedule, you need to find a way to make a you time. Whether it’s coffee on your back porch. Or daily walks wearing Java, or reading wayside story books to Latte or painting blank canvases in your garage. Find an outlet. 3) and girlfriend, sweetheart, darling, sweet friend. Please draw yourself some boundary lines and stick to them. Think about what you appreciate in him - his looks, his intelligence, his kindness - and make that boundary #1. Find a polite way to shut it down every time. “Oops, I think I hear the kids calling.” “Was that the doorbell?” “Well this is awkward. Later.” Second remember that anything negative towards yh is a boundary. Even when yh is wrong. His friend can’t be your person you talk to about that. And 3) cross your legs and shut down that attraction. Find his flaws. Make him ugly. Realize he’s messy. Or smelly. Or a liar. Or dumb. Or eats his boogers. And shut. It. Down. *poof* Just saying. Protect yourself and your family.
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tj
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Post by tj on Apr 2, 2020 22:23:36 GMT -6
Ooooohhhhhh y’all. ^^that girl totes drink.
Are the whole pizza. Then drank a whole bottle of champs. Whoopsy!
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DGM
Sapphire
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Post by DGM on Apr 2, 2020 23:04:14 GMT -6
tj, I love you and thank you...your words are just what I needed. Ironically, I started reading Boundaries in Marriage last fall when things were very strained. I never in a million years imagined needing to draw these kind of boundaries to protect my marriage. Thank you again. And to address one thing, MH has been and will keep going to his empty classroom to check his students' distance learning assignments at least 2x/week. After his previous attempt to WFH, we both know it's easier for him to concentrate without our little ones bugging him plus it prevents me from being resentful that he needs them quiet. ETA none of what you said is overkill or going to embarass me. I needed to be slapped upside the head with these kind of words bc I've told no one IRL.
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snowmoon
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Post by snowmoon on Apr 3, 2020 7:05:18 GMT -6
The financial stress of everything is already overwhelming. We had to sit down last night to organize our finances and figure out how long we can manage. Came to the decision to sell our car since we don't need two right now and won't for the forseeable future. Went to get groceries this morning and the van won't start. This is the second time in the four months that we've had it so now I'm mad and stressed about having to deal with maintaining a lemon until we can trade it in.
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Post by charlotte on Apr 3, 2020 7:43:35 GMT -6
snowmoon that is so frustrating about the van, I’m sorry.
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mapleme
Amethyst
Posts: 6,065 Likes: 16,081
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Post by mapleme on Apr 3, 2020 8:03:50 GMT -6
snowmoon, could it just be the battery? My minivan came to me with a bad battery and it would very randomly not start. I swapped that one out for... another bad battery. It did the same thing. I was worried that it was my car doing something weird to the battery, but battery #3 has been going strong for over a year now with no issue. It was just a bad coincidence.
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stringy
Opal
Posts: 8,306 Likes: 22,157
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Post by stringy on Apr 3, 2020 8:08:05 GMT -6
tj its so nice to have you back. you were missed. snowmoon, sorry about the car and the finances. hope it is an easy fix.
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tj
Moderator
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Post by tj on Apr 3, 2020 9:20:48 GMT -6
I'm sorry you are struggling snowmoon . This isn't easy for anyone. Is your govt doing anything to help? You live in America's hat, right?
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tj
Moderator
Posts: 9,912 Likes: 24,842
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Post by tj on Apr 3, 2020 9:24:46 GMT -6
tj , I love you and thank you...your words are just what I needed. Ironically, I started reading Boundaries in Marriage last fall when things were very strained. I never in a million years imagined needing to draw these kind of boundaries to protect my marriage. Thank you again. And to address one thing, MH has been and will keep going to his empty classroom to check his students' distance learning assignments at least 2x/week. After his previous attempt to WFH, we both know it's easier for him to concentrate without our little ones bugging him plus it prevents me from being resentful that he needs them quiet. ETA none of what you said is overkill or going to embarass me. I needed to be slapped upside the head with these kind of words bc I've told no one IRL. Didn't mean to slap. Just gently nudge. Things can go from innocent to not innocent real quickly and unintentionally. So it's best to just nip it in the bud.
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Post by Dramaphile on Apr 3, 2020 9:26:12 GMT -6
I am so done today. Going to sign off work early. I'm on sensory overload, between the baby screeching, my husband listening to podcasts on speaker and Nugget on a zoom preschool shabbat session. And one of the small humans walked off with my earbuds to parts unknown so I can't even drown it all out.
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Speedy
Sapphire
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Post by Speedy on Apr 3, 2020 9:30:13 GMT -6
tj we're expecting an extra GST credit (depending on income. People with higher incomes reported on taxes don't qualify) as well as a bump in our child tax. There's also an emergency benefit for people who have lost their job. The unfortunate thing is that this all takes time to set up so the earliest thing is the GST on April 9, then the emergency benefit starts about 2 weeks later, and the extra child tax won't come until May. I know a lot of people are struggling in the interim 😞 Apologies for jumping in
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tj
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Post by tj on Apr 3, 2020 9:52:58 GMT -6
tj we're expecting an extra GST credit (depending on income. People with higher incomes reported on taxes don't qualify) as well as a bump in our child tax. There's also an emergency benefit for people who have lost their job. The unfortunate thing is that this all takes time to set up so the earliest thing is the GST on April 9, then the emergency benefit starts about 2 weeks later, and the extra child tax won't come until May. I know a lot of people are struggling in the interim 😞 Apologies for jumping in Yes, it will take time. And that sucks. But I'm glad to hear that there is a plan in place, and something is coming. April 9 will be here soon at least. Hopefully it's soon enough for everyone. We had people breaking into cars in our neighborhood last night. And I was really torn in my feelings. My very first instinct was like come TF on. We are already under enough stress right now. The last thing we need is to worry for our safety and security right now too! But then my second thought was well, are they looking for food? Or things to sell for money for food? Is it people who are truly struggling to survive right now? Maybe they really need it? I mean, not that it makes it ok to break into peoples cars and steal it. But it's also not ok for peoples jobs to just shut down and give no recourse. My gosh this world. FEEEEEEELINGGGGGGGGSSSSSSS.
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snowmoon
Sapphire
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Post by snowmoon on Apr 3, 2020 11:19:20 GMT -6
snowmoon, could it just be the battery? My minivan came to me with a bad battery and it would very randomly not start. I swapped that one out for... another bad battery. It did the same thing. I was worried that it was my car doing something weird to the battery, but battery #3 has been going strong for over a year now with no issue. It was just a bad coincidence. I hope that's all. The tow truck driver was able to get it started but it only ran for a few minutes and then shut down. It's at the dealership now so hopefully they can get us sorted.
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snowmoon
Sapphire
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Post by snowmoon on Apr 3, 2020 11:22:31 GMT -6
I lol'd at America's hat tj. Like Speedy said, there is some government assistance coming available that will cover the necessities for us for a few months, thank Canada.
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Speedy
Sapphire
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Post by Speedy on Apr 3, 2020 11:22:37 GMT -6
For us personally, H is still working and getting his usual hours (maybe even a bit more because they deliver for Amazon) but man, sending him to work every day is scary 😞
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mapleme
Amethyst
Posts: 6,065 Likes: 16,081
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Post by mapleme on Apr 3, 2020 11:35:12 GMT -6
snowmoon , could it just be the battery? My minivan came to me with a bad battery and it would very randomly not start. I swapped that one out for... another bad battery. It did the same thing. I was worried that it was my car doing something weird to the battery, but battery #3 has been going strong for over a year now with no issue. It was just a bad coincidence. I hope that's all. The tow truck driver was able to get it started but it only ran for a few minutes and then shut down. It's at the dealership now so hopefully they can get us sorted. that doesn't sound like the battery. I hope that they can fix it quickly and cheaply.
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tj
Moderator
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Post by tj on Apr 3, 2020 11:53:33 GMT -6
Ooooohhhhhh, ok. So you were just trying to quote her and say that you were thankful that you don't have problem. Gotcha. Did... did you just quote me... with nothing?
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