Family Friday

[peachsmama]

Feb 7, 2020 19:44:02 GMT -6 jewels said:

Feb 7, 2020 19:14:33 GMT -6 peachsmama said:

I made bland chicken and rice for dinner. Easy on our stomachs but lord we all need the calories and energy.

I read somewhere that Salmon is really good when recovering from a tummy bug.

Salmon makes me gag when I'm not sick lol. But I'll tell A. He loves salmon.

[mwhip]

peachsmama we started watching Lego Masters last night and will finish this weekend. Evie loves Legos!

I think the fridge is fixed, fingers crossed. H had it mostly emptied when I got home, so I finished it, then he started thawing it. Had to get his heat gun out to speed up the process, but the food is all back in it and its cooling down. Now that we know how to fix it, this should save is money...

[wedding]

So I met with Cs teacher today and we have a plan to catch him up with writing and sounds. But she did tell me of an issue going on at recess.

Recess is kindergarten and first grade. A bunch of kids play soccer every day. C has taken it upon himself to coordinate the teams. One team he has labeled with his name “Cs Team” and it’s him and the first graders. The other team he has named “The baby team” and it’s all kindergarten kids. The younger kids don’t like that they are being called baby’s and not getting to be on fair teams. They have come in upset from recess and told the teacher. So the teacher has spoken to C about fairness and he responds well but then dictates the game again the next day. Last week the teacher’s assistant came out and set up the teams and apparently as soon as she wasn’t looking C moved everyone around. So C was not allowed to play. The teacher then tells me this morning that she has gotten calls from parents about their kids being upset because of C’s teams.

I’m pretty irritated. I hate that C is calling kids names and not listening to the teacher. I think it’s natural that someone will step up and be a leader and sort out teams. He just needs to do it fairly. Dh and I feel that is talking to him will fix this.

I’m upset that we were not told sooner and now kids and parents are upset with him. I initiated this meeting. Had I not, I wouldn’t have known about this soccer thing. I messaged the teacher later because I was wondering how long this has gone on. I assume a while since parents are calling. It’s been going on since the holiday break. So over a month and this is the first we have heard about it and only because I asked to meet and specifically asked about how his behavior was since we spoke in conferences about him always wanting to lead in groups.

So dh and I will speak with him and then my plan after is to message the teacher and let her know we spoke and do not expect this behavior to continue but to please let us know if it continues or any other issues arise when they arise.

Please share your thoughts on all of this.

[joelies]

The cruise thing confuses me. They keep confirming new cases, so does that extend the quarantine timeframe?

[jewels]

Feb 7, 2020 20:01:49 GMT -6 peachsmama said:

Feb 7, 2020 19:44:02 GMT -6 jewels said:

I read somewhere that Salmon is really good when recovering from a tummy bug.

Salmon makes me gag when I'm not sick lol. But I'll tell A. He loves salmon.

Definitely don’t eat it then!!!

[peachsmama]

Feb 7, 2020 20:37:10 GMT -6 wedding said:

So I met with Cs teacher today and we have a plan to catch him up with writing and sounds. But she did tell me of an issue going on at recess.

Recess is kindergarten and first grade. A bunch of kids play soccer every day. C has taken it upon himself to coordinate the teams. One team he has labeled with his name “Cs Team” and it’s him and the first graders. The other team he has named “The baby team” and it’s all kindergarten kids. The younger kids don’t like that they are being called baby’s and not getting to be on fair teams. They have come in upset from recess and told the teacher. So the teacher has spoken to C about fairness and he responds well but then dictates the game again the next day. Last week the teacher’s assistant came out and set up the teams and apparently as soon as she wasn’t looking C moved everyone around. So C was not allowed to play. The teacher then tells me this morning that she has gotten calls from parents about their kids being upset because of C’s teams.

I’m pretty irritated. I hate that C is calling kids names and not listening to the teacher. I think it’s natural that someone will step up and be a leader and sort out teams. He just needs to do it fairly. Dh and I feel that is talking to him will fix this.

I’m upset that we were not told sooner and now kids and parents are upset with him. I initiated this meeting. Had I not, I wouldn’t have known about this soccer thing. I messaged the teacher later because I was wondering how long this has gone on. I assume a while since parents are calling. It’s been going on since the holiday break. So over a month and this is the first we have heard about it and only because I asked to meet and specifically asked about how his behavior was since we spoke in conferences about him always wanting to lead in groups.

So dh and I will speak with him and then my plan after is to message the teacher and let her know we spoke and do not expect this behavior to continue but to please let us know if it continues or any other issues arise when they arise.

Please share your thoughts on all of this.

I would be frustrated about the lack of communication.

As for C, if talks with teachers and the aides setting teams aren't working- I would set a plan of big consequences if he can't be fair about the teams going forward.

M loves to play with big kids and say the same kind of things about little kids. We had an incident at a park with a bigger boy doing it to him and it was awful for M he cried forever about it. So anytime he does it, I remind him of it. It helps for about 15 minutes..... not helpful I know, but its not just your kid. 🤷‍♀️

[flamingo]

wedding I agree that the lack of communication over an obviously ongoing issue is not ideal. When you email the teacher, you might say something--politely--to the effect of, "I wish I'd know this had been going on so that we could have addressed this sooner."

I don't think this is a fatal flaw or anything With that said, the fact that he essentially ignored the teachers and continued doing his own thing with the teams would make me wonder if a talking-to is going to be effective at this point.

DH and I tend to be 'nip it in the bud' people, so personally I would probably implement some mild consequences now. My 'guru' John Rosemond would say this needs to be made the child's problem, not yours or the teacher's. So maybe he has to ask the teacher to sign a sheet daily saying that he played fairly at recess to bring home to you (do this for X # of days in a row). Maybe he needs to sit out of soccer games and do something else at recess for a few days. IDK. Generally I think consequences need to fit the crime, so to me it doesn't make sense to say, take away screen time at home over an issue at recess. Not saying you're doing that, I'm just thinking 'out loud' of how I would handle it.

[wedding]

Feb 7, 2020 21:12:58 GMT -6 flamingo said:

wedding I agree that the lack of communication over an obviously ongoing issue is not ideal. When you email the teacher, you might say something--politely--to the effect of, "I wish I'd know this had been going on so that we could have addressed this sooner."

I don't think this is a fatal flaw or anything With that said, the fact that he essentially ignored the teachers and continued doing his own thing with the teams would make me wonder if a talking-to is going to be effective at this point.

DH and I tend to be 'nip it in the bud' people, so personally I would probably implement some mild consequences now. My 'guru' John Rosemond would say this needs to be made the child's problem, not yours or the teacher's. So maybe he has to ask the teacher to sign a sheet daily saying that he played fairly at recess to bring home to you (do this for X # of days in a row). Maybe he needs to sit out of soccer games and do something else at recess for a few days. IDK. Generally I think consequences need to fit the crime, so to me it doesn't make sense to say, take away screen time at home over an issue at recess. Not saying you're doing that, I'm just thinking 'out loud' of how I would handle it.

I agree and our talk will include consequences. Our school district is really about positive reinforcement and they aren’t giving him consequences at all with the exception of one day of not playing. Instead they are sitting him down and trying to reason with him. So I’m irritated by the delay in us knowing but also that they aren’t giving consequences even though their approach isn’t working.

[inthekitty]

wedding I second what flamingo said, but I also think it's a little OTT if others are really this upset over something like this. I mean, yes he's being bit of a turd and as a parent I'd address it with him, but otherwise I think kids need to be encouraged to start to work out their own issues. If I were a parent of one of the other kids I'd problem solve with my kid how they can deal with it rather than call the school for something like this.

ETA, but like you, I would have wanted to know about my kid's behavior earlier.

[cagoldi]

wedding I am with inthekitty here.

[lahdeedah]

Feb 7, 2020 21:41:08 GMT -6 inthekitty said:

wedding I second what flamingo said, but I also think it's a little OTT if others are really this upset over something like this. I mean, yes he's being bit of a turd and as a parent I'd address it with him, but otherwise I think kids need to be encouraged to start to work out their own issues. If I were a parent of one of the other kids I'd problem solve with my kid how they can deal with it rather than call the school for something like this.

ETA, but like you, I would have wanted to know about my kid's behavior earlier.

This is where I’m at. When I first read that parents are calling/emailing about it I’m like.... wut?? Also scratching my head that the teacher’s can’t help the kids figure it out if it’s ongoing.

Also agree about her letting you know sooner rather than later.

[flamingo]

And yeah, for sure the other parents are being a bit extra.

I’m also a bit 🙄 that an asst teacher can’t run a playground game without being overruled by a 6 y.o.

[cagoldi]

I broke a molar. Like as in, half of it fell off. They can take me at 8:30 tomorrow. Exactly how I like to spend my Saturday.🙄

[tallb]

wedding i def would be grouchy that the teacher just told you about it. Do you have a behavior chart or anything? We have a calendar that comes home daily with the color he was on, and often has notes if it's not a good day.

I guess I am a bit extra, but if j came home every day for a month saying the same thing, I prob would reach out to the teacher and see what is going on. We talk a lot about how it feels to be in others shoes, so would focus on how it'd feel if the roles were reversed. I like flamingo suggestion that the punishment has to match the crime and should be tied to recess somehow if the teacher can assist with implementing it.

[joelies]

Feb 8, 2020 0:00:09 GMT -6 cagoldi said:

I broke a molar. Like as in, half of it fell off. They can take me at 8:30 tomorrow. Exactly how I like to spend my Saturday.🙄

Hope it's at least an easy fix! I took off a chunk off the back on my molar and it took about 45 minutes to fix. FX!

[nam2013]

wedding I usually use the approach tallb described, talking a lot about how things would feel for the other, how it would feel if that were to happen to you. I’m with you that it would annoy me a lot if this has been going on for a month and I didn’t hear anything about it!!! A postponed punishment is difficult for kids this age, often they don’t connect the dots if they get punished in the evening for something that happens in the morning. What does the teacher do when it happens? Does she ask him why he does this? Sometimes this kind of behaviour stems from insecurity. I’m sorry about this whole thing.

[nam2013]

Feb 8, 2020 0:00:09 GMT -6 cagoldi said:

I broke a molar. Like as in, half of it fell off. They can take me at 8:30 tomorrow. Exactly how I like to spend my Saturday.🙄

Off course. Like you don’t have enough on your plate right now...

[guster]

wedding, I agree with the others. I too would’ve liked to have known about this when it first became a problem, and I am a little surprised the parents called about something like this.
Maybe you could encourage C to choose co-captains to work with. Maybe different ones each recess? He would still be in a leadership position, but many of the other students might feel that they also have a say in how the game is run.

[guster]

Feb 8, 2020 5:33:40 GMT -6 joelies said:

Feb 8, 2020 0:00:09 GMT -6 cagoldi said:

I broke a molar. Like as in, half of it fell off. They can take me at 8:30 tomorrow. Exactly how I like to spend my Saturday.🙄

Hope it's at least an easy fix! I took off a chunk off the back on my molar and it took about 45 minutes to fix. FX!

Same for me! Hoping it goes quickly and painlessly for you!

[flamingo]

Well yikes, now I’m terrified. Is breaking molars common? 😳😬

Sorry cagoldi, that does not sound delightful. Hopefully it can be repaired with a minimum of fuss.

[tgrimes]

Ouch cagoldi! I hope it’s not too painful to fix today.

[peachsmama]

Feb 7, 2020 23:02:48 GMT -6 flamingo said:

And yeah, for sure the other parents are being a bit extra.

I’m also a bit 🙄 that an asst teacher can’t run a playground game without being overruled by a 6 y.o.

I'm with you on the assistant teacher.

But tbh, if my kid came home crying about being treated this way at school, we would go through what he could do instead. But he shouldn't be forced not to play soccer or with his friends because someone else is doing this. And if it was every day for over a month, I would he calling and asking what was going on.

[vino]

Ouch cagoldi! Hopefully it’s a quick and painless fix.

[vino]

wedding I completely agree that you should have been looped in right at the beginning. I always frame it in a way of ‘we need to be informed so we can work together on a successful outcome’, which is entirely true. If they’re saying one thing and you have no idea then how can you speak to him at home so he knows that school and home are on the same page.

I would absolutely without a doubt be calling if my kid was coming home every day nattering about soccer time and recess, not in a rude or combative way but I’d definitely be getting the adults perspective on this so, again, I know how to deal with it from home. If the teacher is encouraging every kid to be involved every single day but then he/she comes home and the parent is saying ‘oh just ignore and play something else’ it can be confusing for the kid.

[flamingo]

Feb 8, 2020 7:46:35 GMT -6 peachsmama said:

Feb 7, 2020 23:02:48 GMT -6 flamingo said:

And yeah, for sure the other parents are being a bit extra.

I’m also a bit 🙄 that an asst teacher can’t run a playground game without being overruled by a 6 y.o.

I'm with you on the assistant teacher.

But tbh, if my kid came home crying about being treated this way at school, we would go through what he could do instead. But he shouldn't be forced not to play soccer or with his friends because someone else is doing this. And if it was every day for over a month, I would he calling and asking what was going on.

Yeah I totally get that. IDK what I’d do as a parent. We haven’t really experienced any ‘social’ issues yet. A month...yes, it’s a pretty long time. I guess I’d be more ‘why are you as the teacher letting this happen repeatedly’ vs ‘why is the kid doing this’, because again, 6 year olds. They’re not necessarily going to police themselves at this point.

[vino]

I’m at the brink of chatting with the teacher about a similar situation at school, but it has to do with older kids the Grade 5’s. According to B they want the younger ones to play, but then are rough and make fun of them, laugh etc. So B steers clear of the situation but he always says ‘well if I was playing soccer’ meaning that he really really wants to play but the grade 5’s, in his mind, are being rude. It’s also a little concerning because the Grade 5’s fo lunch monitoring in their class so they’re heavily involved with the G 1 class.

[vino]

Feb 8, 2020 8:16:12 GMT -6 flamingo said:

Feb 8, 2020 7:46:35 GMT -6 peachsmama said:

I'm with you on the assistant teacher.

But tbh, if my kid came home crying about being treated this way at school, we would go through what he could do instead. But he shouldn't be forced not to play soccer or with his friends because someone else is doing this. And if it was every day for over a month, I would he calling and asking what was going on.

Yeah I totally get that. IDK what I’d do. A month...yes, it’s a pretty long time. I guess I’d be more ‘why are you as the teacher letting this happen repeatedly’ vs ‘why is the kid doing this’, because again, 6 year olds. They’re not necessarily going to police themselves at this point.

Absolutely it would ALL be on the teachers.

[peachsmama]

Feb 8, 2020 8:16:12 GMT -6 flamingo said:

Feb 8, 2020 7:46:35 GMT -6 peachsmama said:

I'm with you on the assistant teacher.

But tbh, if my kid came home crying about being treated this way at school, we would go through what he could do instead. But he shouldn't be forced not to play soccer or with his friends because someone else is doing this. And if it was every day for over a month, I would he calling and asking what was going on.

Yeah I totally get that. IDK what I’d do as a parent. We haven’t really experienced any ‘social’ issues yet. A month...yes, it’s a pretty long time. I guess I’d be more ‘why are you as the teacher letting this happen repeatedly’ vs ‘why is the kid doing this’, because again, 6 year olds. They’re not necessarily going to police themselves at this point.

Most definitely. I'm deathly not saying C is at fault here for the on going issue. That needs to be dealt with with him and his parents. But I would be highly annoyed that the teachers let this go on for so long. I guess my question would be is it being addressed with that kid's parents.

I meant definitely not deathly lol. Voice to text.

[wedding]

The teacher said it’s about ten kids and it’s not always the same ten but I’m sure there are some who play daily like C.

He’s come home before with complaints of so and so repeatedly and I’ve encouraged him to stand up to it, avoid, and go to the teacher. Yes it sucks if he can’t play with what the kid is doing but I feel like that’s life and you need to learn to cope with it. If it was more of a bullying situation, which to me would be that kid following him to harass repeatedly or with really harsh words or physicality, I would be calling.

I have a confident, take charge, strong willed kid so I am only seeing this from that perspective. I don’t know how I would react if I had a sensitive kid that would be overwrought about this. Would I feel the same and call it a life lesson or would I say this needs to stop? I really don’t know but truly appreciate the other perspectives.

[wedding]

That sucks cagoldi. Hopefully you are done quickly and pain free.