FFFC

[tgrimes]

Jan 7, 2019 9:24:00 GMT -6 cagoldi said:

*snip   It’s like they think only measure of a good mom is how much they sacrifice.

This is definitely my sister and it's really freaking annoying.

[dapostrophe]

@xolastunicorn Your routine sounds like ours. I do night time, H does mornings. Out of curiosity, does C still wake during the night? Bea is 7 months now, and I was trying to remember when we were full on STTN with the others.

[Sunny41]

I do remember early TB days and debating a night nurse.

[cagoldi]

Jan 7, 2019 10:00:23 GMT -6 Sunny41 said:

I do remember early TB days and debating a night nurse.

Yup, and 90% of the people were like, “gasp, what a horrible mother abandoning your newborn MOTN like that.”

LOL

[cagoldi]

Jan 7, 2019 9:44:57 GMT -6 dapostrophe said:

cagoldi I 100% agree with you. I know your comment was not directed at me, and if Bea were a poor sleeper or we formula fed, H would def figure it out. I think there is also an assumption that the nighttime thing is SO HORRIBLE that it has to be a sacrifice that I needed relief from. For me, it was NBD to to feed baby back to sleep for a few mins, so the assumption that pumping and having H do it was obviously easier had me scratching my head.

Personally, I get tired of the "you must be SO overwhelmed, you poor thing" narrative, when really I think we are doing just fine. It's almost like people need us to be overwhelmed and frazzled because it fits their idea of what it's like to have five kids. But when I talk to other people with large families, they often agree that it almost gets "easier" with each subsequent kid. Your threshold is higher is something.

Also, I think it's great that Pete did nighttime feedings and that he prioritized what was best for you. I'm like that with needing breaks throughout the day, and if I did not have H's support in that, I would be singing a totally different tune.

Yes, exactly.

It only worked because we EFF and if I had to nurse and pump that would be way more work so what’s the point? Where’s the “break” in that? Not worth it, IMO.

[xolastunicornxo]

Jan 7, 2019 9:58:05 GMT -6 dapostrophe said:

@xolastunicorn Your routine sounds like ours. I do night time, H does mornings. Out of curiosity, does C still wake during the night? Bea is 7 months now, and I was trying to remember when we were full on STTN with the others.

She does. She starts in the pack and play next to our bed and wakes up after a few hours and comes into bed with us. It’s been about a week of my not letting her comfort nurse at night and she’s starting to get it so she just snuggles into me and we go back to sleep. She might have a few restless moments throughout the night, but we’re getting longer and longer stretches.

I know it’s time to get her out if our bed and into her own room, and I’m kind of dreading it because I know she’s not going to be happy about it and right now it’s so easy just Co sleeping and we all (for the most part) get good nights sleep.

[jewels]

Jan 7, 2019 9:44:57 GMT -6 dapostrophe said:

cagoldi I 100% agree with you. I know your comment was not directed at me, and if Bea were a poor sleeper or we formula fed, H would def figure it out. I think there is also an assumption that the nighttime thing is SO HORRIBLE that it has to be a sacrifice that I needed relief from. For me, it was NBD to to feed baby back to sleep for a few mins, so the assumption that pumping and having H do it was obviously easier had me scratching my head.

Personally, I get tired of the "you must be SO overwhelmed, you poor thing" narrative, when really I think we are doing just fine. It's almost like people need us to be overwhelmed and frazzled because it fits their idea of what it's like to have five kids. But when I talk to other people with large families, they often agree that it almost gets "easier" with each subsequent kid. Your threshold is higher is something.

Also, I think it's great that Pete did nighttime feedings and that he prioritized what was best for you. I'm like that with needing breaks throughout the day, and if I did not have H's support in that, I would be singing a totally different tune.

For me, for my kids, once they started being good sleepers, MOTN feedings were no big deal, they would both eat, then go right back to sleep.  It's why I didn't give up B's MOTN feeding till well past when everyone told me I should.  B/c I would pick him up, change him, feed him, and be back in bed in under 20 minutes.   I don't think they same thing would have happened if MH tried to give him a bottle, or calm him otherwise and then we all would have been exhausted. I actually enjoyed the MOTN quiet time with them, just snuggled up and eating.

Now, when he was only sleeping 20 minute stretches from 1 - 4 months, and MH was home, you better believe I woke his ass up and he handled some of it!  

[wedding]

Jan 7, 2019 10:00:23 GMT -6 Sunny41 said:

I do remember early TB days and debating a night nurse.

Before having a child I would have scoffed at a night nurse. After having a child I am of the belief that you get all the help you can get. I would have loved a night nurse.

[joelies]

Jan 7, 2019 13:55:17 GMT -6 wedding said:

Jan 7, 2019 10:00:23 GMT -6 Sunny41 said:

I do remember early TB days and debating a night nurse.

Before having a child I would have scoffed at a night nurse. After having a child I am of the belief that you get all the help you can get. I would have loved a night nurse.

+ 100. Sleep deprivation is used as torture for a reason.

[vino]

Jan 7, 2019 13:57:47 GMT -6 joelies said:

Jan 7, 2019 13:55:17 GMT -6 wedding said:

Before having a child I would have scoffed at a night nurse. After having a child I am of the belief that you get all the help you can get. I would have loved a night nurse.

+ 100. Sleep deprivation is used as torture for a reason.

MH has done plenty of long period sleep deprivation exercises and he said NOTHING compares to being at home with a newborn night after night meeting their needs.  He 'jokes' that the military should include newborn care in their exercises. haha

[sands42]

Omgggg. I just read all of this and wow. So much I had forgotten about! I was on and off the board starting with pregnancy. I was the same as many of you- I didn’t post much because I didn’t want to be involved in the drama (just reading it lol)

[Sunny41]

I feel the need to upgrade home furnishings or add things to my house to feel like I'm doing things the "proper adult way". But in my heart I feel no need to spend $ to replace functional things.

I've had my dish set since college (20yrs) purchased for $20. The us nothing wrong with then and I think there is only 1 broken bowl or plate. If I find something I love I will replace them. But I don't feel the need too replace them just because the pattern is a little meh.

I'm sure some people would side eye us or our choice in things but MH and I just fo things this way. We don't really have a style anyways so it would just be a weird hodge podge of new things

[inthekitty]

Sunny41, along those lines I think many would be horrified at my dishes. I do not have a matching set. Most from when I first moved out are broken so there's the hodgepodge of random stuff from when MH and I joined households. Every year I make MH a plate for Christmas at one of those paint your own pottery placed. I've been thinking of starting a set of 4 bowls to make as well. So none of the dishes match. I have a love for Christmas dishes and always think they are so cute when I see them in the stores but I have 0 desire to actually store and keep them year round.

[cagoldi]

I have China that I never use.

My regular cabinets are full of Corelle from Wal-Mart because my little wild men won’t break that stuff.

[jewels]

Since we're talking dishes, the kids still mostly use plastic dishes, and we have dishes that we registered for, that are decent (Crate And Barrel), but neither of us love them. We have talked about getting newer "fun" dishes, more patterned and not so matchy matchy.

We have his parent's wedding china which is not our style and I think we have used one time, but I keep it because I like the history of it.

[inthekitty]

Jan 10, 2019 11:52:28 GMT -6 jewels said:

Since we're talking dishes, the kids still mostly use plastic dishes, and we have dishes that we registered for, that are decent (Crate And Barrel), but neither of us love them. We have talked about getting newer "fun" dishes, more patterned and not so matchy matchy.

We have his parent's wedding china which is not our style and I think we have used one time, but I keep it because I like the history of it.

I always give the kids the plastic dishes. We have the divided ones made from recycled milk jugs. They have nice deep partitions and are dishwasher safe. I feel like if I've come up with 3 things to throw in them and at least one divided area is filled with a fruit or veggie that I've done enough. 

[cagoldi]

I’m pretty much camp “I’m not buying anything nice until my heathens are all housebroken.”

🤷‍♀️

[nam2013]

I collect vintage floral plates, so I have loads of different plates . The kids have a wide range of melanin plates and cups, no way they’re destroying my beloved antiques!

[joelies]

Jan 10, 2019 12:15:30 GMT -6 cagoldi said:

I’m pretty much camp “I’m not buying anything nice until my heathens are all housebroken.”

🤷‍♀️

This is how I feel about patching up and repainting my walls. Sigh...

[flamingo]

Jan 10, 2019 12:23:51 GMT -6 nam2013 said:

I collect vintage floral plates, so I have loads of different plates . The kids have a wide range of melanin plates and cups, no way they’re destroying my beloved antiques!

C still eats off the melamine plates. We are just starting to let B use our everyday dishes (which are nice but not "fine" china). 

Fine china (like my wedding registry or Christmas patterns), I would let him eat off of, but probably not carry to and from the table. And I'm the only one who's allowed to wash that stuff so that if it gets broken I have no one to blame but myself, lol.

[vino]

Jan 10, 2019 12:47:46 GMT -6 joelies said:

Jan 10, 2019 12:15:30 GMT -6 cagoldi said:

I’m pretty much camp “I’m not buying anything nice until my heathens are all housebroken.”

🤷‍♀️

This is how I feel about patching up and repainting my walls. Sigh...

+1 
3 years and counting until we reno or move.

[Sunny41]

Jan 10, 2019 11:54:59 GMT -6 inthekitty said:

Jan 10, 2019 11:52:28 GMT -6 jewels said:

Since we're talking dishes, the kids still mostly use plastic dishes, and we have dishes that we registered for, that are decent (Crate And Barrel), but neither of us love them. We have talked about getting newer "fun" dishes, more patterned and not so matchy matchy.

We have his parent's wedding china which is not our style and I think we have used one time, but I keep it because I like the history of it.

I always give the kids the plastic dishes. We have the divided ones made from recycled milk jugs. They have nice deep partitions and are dishwasher safe. I feel like if I've come up with 3 things to throw in them and at least one divided area is filled with a fruit or veggie that I've done enough. 

Yep! These are perfect for my mom-ables.

Also we use ikea kids plates

[slenle]

I just sold my wedding China on eBay last week. I only got 4 place settings as gifts and didn’t want to spend $$$ to compete the set. It had never been used in 6 years, or even taken out of the box so it was time to go. I made sure it was okay with my mom since she gave me most of it. She didn’t care. Plus, she has my grandmas china that i wouldn’t mind inheriting someday.

Now just fingers crossed it all got delivered without breaking so I get paid!

[mwhip]

When I got married the first time, we registered for China, only because a friend convinced me that when you get married is the time to get it. We wouldn't want to pay for it ourselves years later, when hosting dinner parties. We got 12 place settings I believe. I made sure the design was simple and not trendy, navy blue and gold. We rarely used it. When we divorced, my ex gave it all to me. I think I've used it twice for holidays in the last 10 years. I do still like how it looks though.

Daily dishes, I just got new last year for Christmas. Our old dishes were, again, from when I registered for my first marriage. Evie eats on the same dishes, just the smaller dessert plate instead of the big plate like me and H use.

[lahdeedah]

Jan 10, 2019 10:44:29 GMT -6 cagoldi said:

I have China that I never use.

My regular cabinets are full of Corelle from Wal-Mart because my little wild men won’t break that stuff.

Twins. I have nice china that didn’t even make it out the boxes last move. And my mom and grandma used Corelle, so it has a special place in my heart and is in our cabinets. We have a few plates and bowls from our college days mixed in, but nothing of much color, so it’s fine.

[lahdeedah]

Jan 10, 2019 16:06:21 GMT -6 slenle said:

I just sold my wedding China on eBay last week. I only got 4 place settings as gifts and didn’t want to spend $$$ to compete the set. It had never been used in 6 years, or even taken out of the box so it was time to go. I made sure it was okay with my mom since she gave me most of it. She didn’t care. Plus, she has my grandmas china that i wouldn’t mind inheriting someday.

Now just fingers crossed it all got delivered without breaking so I get paid!

My Grandma put me in the will to get her China since it matches mine. Makes me happy and one day I will have a china cabinet to put these in.

[inthekitty]

MH's parents gave us their China when we got married over a decade ago. I never wanted it and it never came out of the box. MH was supposed to get rid of it several moves ago but instead hid it in the garage somewhere. It's finally all gone this past move. Buh-bye China dishes.

[tgrimes]

I registered for China the first time I got married because that's what people did. I never used it. I sold all of it after I got divorced.

[tgrimes]

speaking of that I really need to figure out how to sell the jewelry my ex gave me, too.

[guster]

Jan 10, 2019 16:28:01 GMT -6 lahdeedah said:

Jan 10, 2019 10:44:29 GMT -6 cagoldi said:

I have China that I never use.

My regular cabinets are full of Corelle from Wal-Mart because my little wild men won’t break that stuff.

Twins. I have nice china that didn’t even make it out the boxes last move. And my mom and grandma used Corelle, so it has a special place in my heart and is in our cabinets. We have a few plates and bowls from our college days mixed in, but nothing of much color, so it’s fine.

Same. I have taken it out for Easter dinner and for a few birthdays we were home. I also have my mom’s wedding china plus the new china she bought when she decided the old wouldn’t do. Her crystal stemware from the 70 is still incredibly beautiful to me. I don’t use those often at all.