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Post by imapenguin on Mar 9, 2018 18:23:21 GMT -6
I think another issue is that MIL has known me since I was 13, so she feels like she is more mom to me than I feel like she is. I am very close with my mom, and there has always been some jealousy.
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Post by imapenguin on Mar 9, 2018 18:26:45 GMT -6
And FWIW, my MIL and I will go through long periods of time where we get along great and have no issues. But she is having a rough year and I have next to no patience for her when I’m pregnant/post partum. It’s a rough combo.
She loves me and she loves her grandchildren and nothing is ever done out of malice. It feels like immaturity to me and have a lot of theories about it that we do not have time for tonight.
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Post by cornflakegirl on Mar 9, 2018 18:40:20 GMT -6
I have a hard time understanding how anyone thinks it's ok to invade someone's privacy like that. Like I wouldn't let my mom in the delivery room but I am also a very private person. It seems like your MIL does not take a hint at all. If I was in your situation I would have H take care of that asap and not have you worry about it. I’m not worried about it. I know the nurses won’t let her in if I tell them not to. Part of the problem is that I like to have my mom there, so she’s concerned with fairness, but you know, I will be mostly naked and life’s not fair 🤷♀️ This is true. The nurses are great at keeping people out. I know I would never expect my one day future DIL to feel comfortable being naked around me like she would around her own mother.
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kaeguri
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Post by kaeguri on Mar 9, 2018 18:58:54 GMT -6
I have a hard time understanding how anyone thinks it's ok to invade someone's privacy like that. Like I wouldn't let my mom in the delivery room but I am also a very private person. It seems like your MIL does not take a hint at all. If I was in your situation I would have H take care of that asap and not have you worry about it. I’m not worried about it. I know the nurses won’t let her in if I tell them not to. Part of the problem is that I like to have my mom there, so she’s concerned with fairness, but you know, I will be mostly naked and life’s not fair 🤷♀️ yeah, but that's your mom. You know, the woman who birthed you and saw you naked a bajillion times and wiped your butt. There's a huge difference. When your H has a baby shoved out of him, his mom can be there. *insert eye roll*
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Post by imapenguin on Mar 9, 2018 19:02:43 GMT -6
I’m not worried about it. I know the nurses won’t let her in if I tell them not to. Part of the problem is that I like to have my mom there, so she’s concerned with fairness, but you know, I will be mostly naked and life’s not fair 🤷♀️ yeah, but that's your mom. You know, the woman who birthed you and saw you naked a bajillion times and wiped your butt. There's a huge difference. When your H has a baby shoved out of him, his mom can be there. *insert eye roll* Thats What Intold her last time. I’ll repeat myself if she says something to me, but I don’t think she will.
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Post by pbandjelly on Mar 9, 2018 19:09:13 GMT -6
imapenguin, you have quite the MIL. Mine generally means well and is a nurse, so she knows when to beat it. She's better now about boundaries thankfully.
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Post by cornflakegirl on Mar 9, 2018 20:35:17 GMT -6
I started an Amazon baby registry for myself so that I can take advantage of the completion discount. Does anyone know when the discount starts? I thought it was 60 days before your EDD but now I'm not sure.
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notmoose
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Post by notmoose on Mar 10, 2018 8:16:50 GMT -6
I have a hard time understanding how anyone thinks it's ok to invade someone's privacy like that. Like I wouldn't let my mom in the delivery room but I am also a very private person. It seems like your MIL does not take a hint at all. If I was in your situation I would have H take care of that asap and not have you worry about it. I’m not worried about it. I know the nurses won’t let her in if I tell them not to. Part of the problem is that I like to have my mom there, so she’s concerned with fairness, but you know, I will be mostly naked and life’s not fair 🤷♀️ I HAAAAATE hearing about how it's unfair. Uh, no it's not. If I am getting naked, experiencing the worst pain of my life, and likely soiling myself I only want people I am fully comfortable with in there! *to be 100% honest I didn't have this fight personally, but my sister just went through it with her MIL and "to be fair" ended up letting her stay until she pushed. She was beyond irritated she was there but didn't want to further upset her MIL (who acts like a 2 yo when she doesn't get her way).
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notmoose
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Post by notmoose on Mar 10, 2018 8:22:50 GMT -6
cornflakegirl have you been feeling baby more the past couple weeks? I thought I remembered you saying you had an anterior placenta and I do too. Especially the last week, I have felt baby more and more. Mostly down low and at the top of my uterus. Hope you're feeling baby more too!
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Post by pbandjelly on Mar 10, 2018 8:26:55 GMT -6
I hate the "it's unfair" argument. Labor and delivery is about the mom and baby and their comfort. And it bugs me the grandmothers that make it about them. They just need to be supportive and shut the hell up.
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Post by imapenguin on Mar 10, 2018 8:37:32 GMT -6
I’m not worried about it. I know the nurses won’t let her in if I tell them not to. Part of the problem is that I like to have my mom there, so she’s concerned with fairness, but you know, I will be mostly naked and life’s not fair 🤷♀️ I HAAAAATE hearing about how it's unfair. Uh, no it's not. If I am getting naked, experiencing the worst pain of my life, and likely soiling myself I only want people I am fully comfortable with in there! *to be 100% honest I didn't have this fight personally, but my sister just went through it with her MIL and "to be fair" ended up letting her stay until she pushed. She was beyond irritated she was there but didn't want to further upset her MIL (who acts like a 2 yo when she doesn't get her way). Yeah, I’m not into compromises by that point. I don’t really care if she’s mad at me. She’ll get over it when she wants to meet the baby. I sound like such a bitch, but I just can’t afford to be diplomatic because she will keep pushing if I’m not super direct.
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Post by PennyCandy on Mar 10, 2018 8:42:17 GMT -6
DS is just fine, but I'm miserable. I guess it's just a bad cold.
I guess I'm lucky that my in-laws would never expect to be in the delivery room. My mom was more of the problem. She wasn't please that I only wanted DH there, but she got over it. It will be the same this time, only DH. I was on the table completely naked for what seemed like forever. I would not be comfortable with anyone outside of DH seeing that.
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Post by imapenguin on Mar 10, 2018 8:46:57 GMT -6
My mom was there with me and MH through the whole labor and left as soon as DD was born to give us some alone time. She was there for me, her baby, not to brag about being the first grandmother to meet DD, which is how my MIL sees it.
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Post by goldenbird on Mar 10, 2018 9:04:37 GMT -6
I'm not sure how first grandparent meetings will go. I'm sure even if I had both my parents and FIL & SMIL in there at the same time, it would be a thing who got to hold the baby first. I would prefer my mom hold him first, if I'm being honest.
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Post by cornflakegirl on Mar 10, 2018 9:31:04 GMT -6
cornflakegirl have you been feeling baby more the past couple weeks? I thought I remembered you saying you had an anterior placenta and I do too. Especially the last week, I have felt baby more and more. Mostly down low and at the top of my uterus. Hope you're feeling baby more too! I've been starting to feel her more in the evenings the last few days. It's also mostly down low or up high, must be where the placenta is not covering her. I read that from 20 to 21 weeks the baby grows somewhere from 6-10 inches so makes sense that we would be starting to feel them more. I'm glad you're feeling the baby more😊 Thank you for asking.
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sasam
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Post by sasam on Mar 10, 2018 11:51:06 GMT -6
Went to a prenatal yoga class this morning! It was amazing and I feel so good and energized! Definitely the best I've felt so far this pregnancy!
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cara
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Post by cara on Mar 10, 2018 11:56:16 GMT -6
sasam - I’ve been thinking about picking prenatal yoga up in addition to my walks. Do you think following a video would be sufficient or do you think attending a class would be more beneficial to insure correct form?
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sasam
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Post by sasam on Mar 10, 2018 12:12:12 GMT -6
sasam - I’ve been thinking about picking prenatal yoga up in addition to my walks. Do you think following a video would be sufficient or do you think attending a class would be more beneficial to insure correct form? Hard to say. I definitely needed a class since it has been a while since I've done a legit yoga class. Having the instructor there was super helpful to know good ways to modify some poses. She also helped with showing how to use different props to make sure we were all well supported in each pose. I think if you do a good bit of yoga, a video may be sufficient, but for me personally, a class was definitely the way to go! Plus, I liked the community-feel of being in a class. We were able to share about our pregnancies so far and talk about some of our physical struggles, which I always find very helpful and encouraging!
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kaeguri
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Post by kaeguri on Mar 10, 2018 13:25:30 GMT -6
cornflakegirl, my amazon thing says my discount is available May 18. I'm due July 17. So 60 days sounds about right. PennyCandy, my mom was also extremely upset I didn't want her there when I labored. I didn't even want her there until a week or so after the baby was born. I'm just a super private person, but Korean society is much more open with labor and birthing than what I was raised in, so it's a cultural difference for us. She'll be here this time around, mainly because someone has to look after DD while I'm in labor and delivery. I had to drag my toddler out of bed today at noon. Girl has been asleep for forever. Guess who isn't napping today lol.
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Post by catspajamas2 on Mar 10, 2018 13:37:01 GMT -6
kaeguri I can’t get my kids to sleep past 6am. Noon would blow my mind!
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Post by cornflakegirl on Mar 10, 2018 15:05:22 GMT -6
Thanks kaeguri! I was trying to find information about the discount on my registry but I must have missed it somehow. Pregnancy brain ha ha! I'm glad it starts 60 days prior, that way we don't have to wait until the last minute to start buying stuff.
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Post by catspajamas2 on Mar 10, 2018 18:05:55 GMT -6
I don’t need to buy much since we kept everything from my first two and my youngest is also a July baby so the seasons even line up. The big thing is I need a bigger car and I really don’t want to shop for one. I keep telling my husband he can just pick and bring it home. We bought him a minivan in December and one car shopping experience per year is more than enough for me.
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Post by goldenbird on Mar 11, 2018 6:28:31 GMT -6
My ILs told me this morning that they expect us to call them if we need a babysitter and they'll be upset if we don't. Ok? I was like thanks, I'm not sure when exactly we'll need one though.
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kam3100
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Post by kam3100 on Mar 11, 2018 8:27:45 GMT -6
My ILs told me this morning that they expect us to call them if we need a babysitter and they'll be upset if we don't. Ok? I was like thanks, I'm not sure when exactly we'll need one though. People get so excited by babies!
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Post by goldenbird on Mar 11, 2018 8:32:12 GMT -6
My ILs told me this morning that they expect us to call them if we need a babysitter and they'll be upset if we don't. Ok? I was like thanks, I'm not sure when exactly we'll need one though. People get so excited by babies! I hope they are still down for this when he's not a baby anymore lol
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Post by goldenbird on Mar 11, 2018 8:34:09 GMT -6
Also we don't have cable or an antenna, just apps on the roku. I don't know how FIL will survive 😂👍
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cara
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Post by cara on Mar 11, 2018 8:35:53 GMT -6
We had our elective ultrasound yesterday and I’m still a little bit in shock. My instincts were completely off. I totally thought we’d be having a boy, but nope, it’s a girl!
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kam3100
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Post by kam3100 on Mar 11, 2018 8:39:43 GMT -6
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kam3100
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Post by kam3100 on Mar 11, 2018 8:40:31 GMT -6
I think I’m giving in and going to adopt this puppy. I adore her. I can’t think of a name though. I don’t like the name the shelter came up with.
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kam3100
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Post by kam3100 on Mar 11, 2018 8:41:05 GMT -6
People get so excited by babies! I hope they are still down for this when he's not a baby anymore lol Hopefully they get excited about toddlers, that’s when I needed a sitter the most.
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