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Post by angelashly on Feb 6, 2018 8:06:23 GMT -6
Parts of this article really speak to me, and there are links to some other articles that are also really interesting. "Fat-shaming is not OK — but neither is trying-to-be-thinner-shaming. We’re all just trying to look and feel our best, and we’ll have different ways of trying to achieve that."I will admit this is extremely pertinent to my life right now because I've recently embarked on an endeavor to lose a significant amount of weight, and I have high stakes surrounding this venture, so I have been seeking out a lot of stories/information on it. This is a great quote and I am going to remember that. Are you joining us in the Noom thread? We are all basically not on Noom and just on doing what works for us.
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Post by angelashly on Feb 6, 2018 8:11:36 GMT -6
This is a great quote and I am going to remember that. Are you joining us in the Noom thread? We are all basically not on Noom and just on doing what works for us. I will join! Fucking Noom. What a letdown. I'm back on MFP. MFP is what worked for me. I need to go back on it and stay on it now that all the food heavy holidays are over.
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Post by angelashly on Feb 6, 2018 8:14:34 GMT -6
One of the things that has also shifted that I think is awesome is the notion that "strong is the new skinny". In a lot of media, there is a shifted focus on strong, athletic bodies and workouts versus waif thin silhouettes. To me that's really inspiring because ultimately what I'm after is a body that works for me and can keep up with my kids, and also looks pretty decent naked on top of my husband. TMI? No I agree with this. I want the same things no matter what my scale actually says. It is something that we have had to talk to dd about already too unfortunately. My dd and my sister are 3 years apart, but are almost the same height and wear the same size, but my dd is stockier and my sister is super super skinny. Of course they are compared and it comes off as my daughter is chunky because she enjoys food, but she also swims 1-2 times a week, plays basketball 2 times a week, and does dance therefore she has more muscle and is way more active than my sister who does no sports or activities. We tell her that she is just as healthy she just has muscle, but it hurts my heart and I really hope that this sentiment that strong is the new skinny catches on.
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mack
Amethyst
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Post by mack on Feb 6, 2018 8:16:21 GMT -6
I completely agree with this article. I don't think I am giving into the patriarchy because I want to feel good about my body. I don't feel any societal pressure to be different, no one would shame my body as is. But I like to be fit and strong.
I also feel like it's not the patriarchy. Are we influenced by societal standards about beauty? Sure. But so are men. I recognize that there is more grace given to men and that there is such a thing as a "dad bod." However, there are many, many men who diet and work out to fit masculine ideals. So why does it make me a failure to want that too?
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sterling
Global Moderator
GD
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Post by sterling on Feb 6, 2018 8:19:22 GMT -6
Here is the link to another article referenced in that original article. www.elle.com/beauty/health-fitness/advice/a13947/are-diets-the-enemy-of-feminism/Anyway, I think there are really interesting points. And it's very interesting to me how things have shifted so much from our parents generation to our own. Growing up, dieting was THE THING to be doing for women. Now it's like we shan't ever discuss it.
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sterling
Global Moderator
GD
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Post by sterling on Feb 6, 2018 8:20:47 GMT -6
None of my posts work. Fuck everything.
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Post by GhoatMonket on Feb 6, 2018 8:21:04 GMT -6
Wanting to be healthier and/or feel better in your own skin is not a slam at feminism.
It fucking kills me when women want to lose weight for good reasons, and get bombarded with the message of "Fuck it, eat all the food. Just be happy as you are". No jerks. I have a family history of some health issues that are best controlled by diet and maintaining a decent weight. Me not wanting to die at 50 does not make me anti-feminism. (None of this directed at anyone here.)
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mack
Amethyst
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Post by mack on Feb 6, 2018 8:22:56 GMT -6
Wanting to be healthier and/or feel better in your own skin is not a slam at feminism. It fucking kills me when women want to lose weight for good reasons, and get bombarded with the message of "Fuck it, eat all the food. Just be happy as you are". No jerks. I have a family history of some health issues that are best controlled by diet and maintaining a decent weight. Me not wanting to die at 50 does not make me anti-feminism. (None of this directed at anyone here.) Right, like because I want to lower my risks of heart disease and diabetes? There are other reasons to be concerned about your body besides vanity.
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Post by yoginikiki on Feb 6, 2018 8:27:40 GMT -6
I like this article. It also made me think about something else I've been pondering regarding "fat shaming" as it relates to the medical field.
People really need to stop accusing doctors of fat shaming when giving medical advice. Bedside manner aside(I know some can be dicks)...not wanting to hear that weight loss is necessary doesn't mean you are being fat shamed. Doctors are trying to do their job, whether it hurts feelings or not.
I don't want my doctor to not tell me the truth about my health because they are afraid of hurting my feelings or bad PR.
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jorkzy
Emerald
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Post by jorkzy on Feb 6, 2018 8:28:44 GMT -6
Here is the link to another article referenced in that original article. www.elle.com/beauty/health-fitness/advice/a13947/are-diets-the-enemy-of-feminism/Anyway, I think there are really interesting points. And it's very interesting to me how things have shifted so much from our parents generation to our own. Growing up, dieting was THE THING to be doing for women. Now it's like we shan't ever discuss it. I'm not sure I agree with your last couple sentences. Sure we don't see any more of the moms all done up, doing step aerobics in sweabands and eating grapefruit and bagels for the low fat but dieting is still going strong. We just don't call them "diets" anymore - now it's always a "lifestyle change". Look at the popularity of Keto, while30, 21 day fix, whatever.
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Post by chickenonsunday on Feb 6, 2018 8:29:17 GMT -6
I got challenged to a pushup contest by a 12 year old on Christmas Eve. This was at a fairly large party with all of our neighbors and friends. I of course took up the challenge right there in the kitchen. Afterward my neighbor asked me why I liked working out so much. He said something about why do women want to have muscles like men? It was honestly one of the strangest things I had ever heard. I wish I could say I gave him some amazing answer that changed his line of thinking but I'm sure I bungled it. I told him I worked out and ran because I wanted to stay fit. It was also time out of my week where I was solely focused on me and not my family. I also said that I didn't think muscular women were unattractive or wanting to look like men.
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Post by yoginikiki on Feb 6, 2018 8:30:27 GMT -6
Heart disease kills more women than cancer and diet and exercise can go a long way at reducing risk. I don't know any doctors who don't talk about needing to use sunscreen...KWIM?
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mack
Amethyst
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Post by mack on Feb 6, 2018 8:33:13 GMT -6
I got challenged to a pushup contest by a 12 year old on Christmas Eve. This was at a fairly large party with all of our neighbors and friends. I of course took up the challenge right there in the kitchen. Afterward my neighbor asked me why I liked working out so much. He said something about why do women want to have muscles like men? It was honestly one of the strangest things I had ever heard. I wish I could say I gave him some amazing answer that changed his line of thinking but I'm sure I bungled it. I told him I worked out and ran because I wanted to stay fit. It was also time out of my week where I was solely focused on my and not my family. I also said that I didn't think muscular women were unattractive or wanting to look like men. So I can punch people like you harder?
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bobyn
Diamond
local baby-making menace
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Post by bobyn on Feb 6, 2018 8:33:38 GMT -6
This heavily resonates with me as I've had this discussion with DH before:
"I’m also realistic. I do want a “beach body” but my body on the beach will be one of someone who did her best but really loves pizza, cake and Manhattans and also had three children. I don’t have insane expectations to wake up one day and be a size zero; I don’t even want that."
I've shown him "inspiration" pictures I've saved of bodies I feel are realistic end goals for me and it's helped him see that I'm going into this with the right mindset. Sure, I've also got some plastic surgery planned to get rid of my c-section shelf, but there's nothing that will take away my stretch marks and I'm okay with that.
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pobre
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Post by pobre on Feb 6, 2018 8:34:16 GMT -6
"I really like these pants, and they’ve gotten too tight. I don’t want to be out of breath when I chase my 2-year-old up the block. And I’d like to stop wanting to avoid being in pictures because I don’t like how I look. "
That is like...99% of the reasons I would like to lose the rest of the weight I am holding on to, in a nutshell.
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shadows
Sapphire
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Post by shadows on Feb 6, 2018 8:34:57 GMT -6
Wanting to be healthier and/or feel better in your own skin is not a slam at feminism. It fucking kills me when women want to lose weight for good reasons, and get bombarded with the message of "Fuck it, eat all the food. Just be happy as you are". No jerks. I have a family history of some health issues that are best controlled by diet and maintaining a decent weight. Me not wanting to die at 50 does not make me anti-feminism. (None of this directed at anyone here.) Right, like because I want to lower my risks of heart disease and diabetes? There are other reasons to be concerned about your body besides vanity. But even if it is, in part, for vanity reasons, why can't I want those things for me? It doesn't have to be about someone else. Why does wanting to be happy about the way I look make me anti-feminism?
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bobyn
Diamond
local baby-making menace
Posts: 27,026 Likes: 165,798
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Post by bobyn on Feb 6, 2018 8:35:19 GMT -6
I got challenged to a pushup contest by a 12 year old on Christmas Eve. This was at a fairly large party with all of our neighbors and friends. I of course took up the challenge right there in the kitchen. Afterward my neighbor asked me why I liked working out so much. He said something about why do women want to have muscles like men? It was honestly one of the strangest things I had ever heard. I wish I could say I gave him some amazing answer that changed his line of thinking but I'm sure I bungled it. I told him I worked out and ran because I wanted to stay fit. It was also time out of my week where I was solely focused on my and not my family. I also said that I didn't think muscular women were unattractive or wanting to look like men. So I can punch people like you harder? Yesssssss.
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Post by yoginikiki on Feb 6, 2018 8:35:36 GMT -6
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Post by chickenonsunday on Feb 6, 2018 8:35:54 GMT -6
chickenonsunday , damn. How old was that dude? What a weird line of questioning. He just turned 50 this year. He is one of our closest friends and his wife has been one of my running partners. His comment really took me by surprise.
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Post by GhoatMonket on Feb 6, 2018 8:36:10 GMT -6
Wanting to be healthier and/or feel better in your own skin is not a slam at feminism. It fucking kills me when women want to lose weight for good reasons, and get bombarded with the message of "Fuck it, eat all the food. Just be happy as you are". No jerks. I have a family history of some health issues that are best controlled by diet and maintaining a decent weight. Me not wanting to die at 50 does not make me anti-feminism. (None of this directed at anyone here.) Right, like because I want to lower my risks of heart disease and diabetes? There are other reasons to be concerned about your body besides vanity. I'm more competitive at a lower weight class GDI.
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Post by GhoatMonket on Feb 6, 2018 8:37:52 GMT -6
I got challenged to a pushup contest by a 12 year old on Christmas Eve. This was at a fairly large party with all of our neighbors and friends. I of course took up the challenge right there in the kitchen. Afterward my neighbor asked me why I liked working out so much. He said something about why do women want to have muscles like men? It was honestly one of the strangest things I had ever heard. I wish I could say I gave him some amazing answer that changed his line of thinking but I'm sure I bungled it. I told him I worked out and ran because I wanted to stay fit. It was also time out of my week where I was solely focused on me and not my family. I also said that I didn't think muscular women were unattractive or wanting to look like men. So it hurts more when we kick fuckheads like him in the balls or punch them in the face.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 6, 2018 8:38:15 GMT -6
I like this article a lot, thank you for posting.
I have no shame in wanting to take better care of myself and to hell with any woman who calls herself a feminist and behaves that way. Women should be supporting each other in this. I love that I live in a time where I can research the food I eat, and where it comes from, and use that to make healthier options for my family. I want to be around for a long time, and I want to be healthy and feel good about myself. That's what it is about for me. Being diagnosed with asthma in my 20's changed the game for me, and the only time my quality of life is best is when I am making exercise a priority and eating well. And yeah, I like the way I look too when I am doing those things. I can't and won't feel bad about that. Believe me, I still find plenty of flaws.
I am pretty good at that.
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adelbert
Amethyst
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Post by adelbert on Feb 6, 2018 8:39:38 GMT -6
My only issue with dieting is that I feel like a lot of it doesn't work and can be pretty extreme.
I won't comment unless I'm asked but I'm always positive and encouraging when I hear a friend is trying to be more active, or trying to reduce their sugar. However when I hear they are dropping all carbs or only drinking green smoothies or whatever I'm much more skeptical and probably not cheering them on.
But overall I have no issue if someone says they are trying to lose weight.
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pobre
Ruby
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Post by pobre on Feb 6, 2018 8:40:10 GMT -6
This is a great quote and I am going to remember that. Are you joining us in the Noom thread? We are all basically not on Noom and just on doing what works for us. I will join! Fucking Noom. What a letdown. I'm back on MFP. Noom was the worst. Just awful.
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Post by yoginikiki on Feb 6, 2018 8:43:17 GMT -6
adelbert I feel the same. There is a difference between a healthy diet and a quick fix. I will forever be grateful to thisbitch for introducing me to the whole life challenge. The biggest lesson for me was "how often is a treat really a treat vs a routine non nourishing food choice"
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rvasc
Emerald
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Post by rvasc on Feb 6, 2018 8:45:05 GMT -6
I missed a lot of the conversation on Friday, but I was the one in that drinking thread that said to stop talking about yourselves that way.
I’d like to clarify. I am currently dieting and increasing my exercise. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with wanting to look good or even with being uncomfortable because you are heavier than you want to be. I just don’t like when people say ugly things about themselves. You’d never say your friend looks like “a tomato on toothpicks,” and I actually think that sort of thought process is not motivational. There is a marked difference in saying that and, “I want to lose weight in my stomach.” I don’t like when anyone talks about themselves like that—man, woman, alien, whatever.
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mack
Amethyst
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Post by mack on Feb 6, 2018 8:45:19 GMT -6
My MIL still follows the diet school of Slim fast and diet cokes.
But she also still works out in tights...
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Post by GhoatMonket on Feb 6, 2018 8:45:20 GMT -6
My only issue with dieting is that I feel like a lot of it doesn't work and can be pretty extreme. I won't comment unless I'm asked but I'm always positive and encouraging when I hear a friend is trying to be more active, or trying to reduce their sugar. However when I hear they are dropping all carbs or only drinking green smoothies or whatever I'm much more skeptical and probably not cheering them on. But overall I have no issue if someone says they are trying to lose weight. Some of the mother fucking fads. Nothing magical has been learned. Just trust on that one. So some random diet you may not have heard of is not going to be a magic solution. And it's likely been around for some time and you just didn't know about it.
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Post by yoginikiki on Feb 6, 2018 8:45:38 GMT -6
Also diet as a verb is different than diet as a part of my life. I inevitably lose weight when I eat a healthy diet. I don't always lose weight when I diet
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Post by Deleted on Feb 6, 2018 8:45:58 GMT -6
Wanting to be healthier and/or feel better in your own skin is not a slam at feminism. It fucking kills me when women want to lose weight for good reasons, and get bombarded with the message of "Fuck it, eat all the food. Just be happy as you are". No jerks. I have a family history of some health issues that are best controlled by diet and maintaining a decent weight. Me not wanting to die at 50 does not make me anti-feminism. (None of this directed at anyone here.) 🙌🏼
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