STP
Diamond
Posts: 43,336 Likes: 314,832
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Post by STP on Feb 8, 2024 11:06:33 GMT -6
I try my best to know people's last names post-marriage, but I don't always know that someone didn't change it. Especially in this world of social media and emails and all the places where you do and don't change your name and it may not match what you've done legally. I also think people getting bent out of shape over it as some feminist insult is tedious. "Oh, it's Jones actually." And keep it moving.
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brux
Diamond
Posts: 35,330 Likes: 282,461
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Post by brux on Feb 8, 2024 11:08:01 GMT -6
I try my best to know people's last names post-marriage, but I don't always know that someone didn't change it. Especially in this world of social media and emails and all the places where you do and don't change your name and it may not match what you've done legally. I also think people getting bent out of shape over it as some feminist tired is tedious. "Oh, it's Jones actually." And keep it moving. And once the couple has kids, how do I know the last name of the kids? It's not usually a press release to the world, so I'm certain my holiday cards are a mixture of inaccuracies and half-truths.
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brux
Diamond
Posts: 35,330 Likes: 282,461
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Post by brux on Feb 8, 2024 11:09:39 GMT -6
I sent a wedding invitation to Mr. and Mrs. Smith, when it should have gone to Mr. Smith and Ms. Jones. I was mortified when I realized my mistake. But they're my ILs' best friends and I didn't think to question what my MIL sent me. Now, many years later, my MIL speaks of them to my kids as Mr. and Mrs. Smith and I always think it's odd. And I know some people who, socially, use their spouse's last name willingly, even thought legally it's different! WHAT AM I TO DO IN MY ENVELOPE ADDRESSING?!?!?
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Post by notblanche on Feb 8, 2024 11:11:04 GMT -6
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Post by CurlieWhirlie on Feb 8, 2024 11:11:24 GMT -6
It baffles me that in the year 2024 I still receive wedding invitations addressed to me by my husband's last name by my peers. I'm not even mad, I'm just disappointed. This happens to me but from H's family only - and honestly his family is so big I don't remember all of his cousins' spouses names etc. so everything gets addressed to the X Family. So it never bothers me when it's from that part of the family. Here's a confession: my best friend got married like 7 or 8 years ago and we love her husband and I have NO idea what his last name is. To this day.
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Post by justbecause on Feb 8, 2024 11:11:42 GMT -6
I’m only annoyed when people (H’s relatives) write a check to the wrong last name.
But that rarely happens anymore.
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piratecat
Diamond
Posts: 36,024 Likes: 143,872
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Post by piratecat on Feb 8, 2024 11:11:44 GMT -6
I try my best to know people's last names post-marriage, but I don't always know that someone didn't change it. Especially in this world of social media and emails and all the places where you do and don't change your name and it may not match what you've done legally. I don't expect people to know whether I changed my name or not but I'm surprised when people just assume everyone did and don't bother to check. I imagine they asked (my husband) for our home address at some point and it would have been easy to ask for my last name then.
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Post by newspapers on Feb 8, 2024 11:11:55 GMT -6
It baffles me that in the year 2024 I still receive wedding invitations addressed to me by my husband's last name by my peers. I'm not even mad, I'm just disappointed. I'm kind of jealous that you are receiving wedding invitations! We are past that stage of life--guess we have to wait until everybody's kids start getting married, lol.
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STP
Diamond
Posts: 43,336 Likes: 314,832
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Post by STP on Feb 8, 2024 11:12:30 GMT -6
The older I get, the less I can care about this stuff.
For me or for anyone else.
If you come at me bc your last name is different, I am going to roll my eyes a little bit. People spell my name wrong constantly.
I just don't care.
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brux
Diamond
Posts: 35,330 Likes: 282,461
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Post by brux on Feb 8, 2024 11:14:29 GMT -6
I try my best to know people's last names post-marriage, but I don't always know that someone didn't change it. Especially in this world of social media and emails and all the places where you do and don't change your name and it may not match what you've done legally. I don't expect people to know whether I changed my name or not but I'm surprised when people just assume everyone did and don't bother to check. I imagine they asked (my husband) for our home address at some point and it would have been easy to ask for my last name then. counterpoint: that would've been the opportunity for your H to say "Oh, and my wife's name is blahblah."
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STP
Diamond
Posts: 43,336 Likes: 314,832
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Post by STP on Feb 8, 2024 11:15:26 GMT -6
I don't expect people to know whether I changed my name or not but I'm surprised when people just assume everyone did and don't bother to check. I imagine they asked (my husband) for our home address at some point and it would have been easy to ask for my last name then. counterpoint: that would've been the opportunity for your H to say "Oh, and my wife's name is blahblah." ding ding ding
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piratecat
Diamond
Posts: 36,024 Likes: 143,872
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Post by piratecat on Feb 8, 2024 11:15:45 GMT -6
It baffles me that in the year 2024 I still receive wedding invitations addressed to me by my husband's last name by my peers. I'm not even mad, I'm just disappointed. I'm kind of jealous that you are receiving wedding invitations! We are past that stage of life--guess we have to wait until everybody's kids start getting married, lol. We are mostly past that stage of life too. I hardly remember the last wedding I went to!
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piratecat
Diamond
Posts: 36,024 Likes: 143,872
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Post by piratecat on Feb 8, 2024 11:16:54 GMT -6
I don't expect people to know whether I changed my name or not but I'm surprised when people just assume everyone did and don't bother to check. I imagine they asked (my husband) for our home address at some point and it would have been easy to ask for my last name then. counterpoint: that would've been the opportunity for your H to say "Oh, and my wife's name is blahblah." For sure. We're all disappointed in him, too.
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Post by GhoatMonket on Feb 8, 2024 11:17:14 GMT -6
I sent a wedding invitation to Mr. and Mrs. Smith, when it should have gone to Mr. Smith and Ms. Jones. I was mortified when I realized my mistake. But they're my ILs' best friends and I didn't think to question what my MIL sent me. Now, many years later, my MIL speaks of them to my kids as Mr. and Mrs. Smith and I always think it's odd. I don't care about this, but like if you write me a check maybe write it to the name on the account. Thanks. Not that I sign them anyway, I just do "For Deposit Only" and move on with my day.
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thatgolfb
Unicorn
Posts: 55,023 Likes: 234,913
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Post by thatgolfb on Feb 8, 2024 11:17:20 GMT -6
My tab situation got much better for a while after some chastisement here last year, but somehow it has spiraled again. I just noticed this morning that I have 384 open tabs. 🙃 I will address it today! What’s the most embarrassing one? My guess is a Dave Matthews dancing gif. Am I close, Bookshelves??
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Post by GhoatMonket on Feb 8, 2024 11:19:17 GMT -6
Do you people not shut your computers off at any point? I don't get the tab thing. Her phone tabs 😳 What are you people clicking on that you have so many tabs?!?
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Post by bearfootzcontinued on Feb 8, 2024 11:22:47 GMT -6
I took my husband's name but I get a small thrill when almost 18 years later my family will still write "Bear MaidenName" by mistake. Just recently, two of my sisters filled out my luggage tags on my behalf. It was a charter trip and luggage was taken directly from the airport to the hotel rooms. Somehow both pieces of luggage made it to the right room even though one had my married name and one had my maiden name. Guess it's a good thing there weren't other Bears on the trip.
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Post by shamycooler on Feb 8, 2024 11:23:18 GMT -6
people will still refer to me as Mrs. ExH's lastname occasionally, most often in work settings where i haven't seen someone in a while. I still respond, and may or may not correct them. I don't care. DD will sometimes get referred to as H's last name, and she thinks it funny.
It's not something i, personally, get upset about.
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sterling
Global Moderator
GD
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Post by sterling on Feb 8, 2024 11:25:36 GMT -6
The Foo Fighters are highly overrated. Their songs all sound the same and I was very underwhelmed when I saw them live. Ew, wtf.
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sterling
Global Moderator
GD
Posts: 15,047 Likes: 130,313
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Post by sterling on Feb 8, 2024 11:31:24 GMT -6
My household will soon have three working last names. It’s chaos. People will get it wrong. Meh.
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Post by miawallace on Feb 8, 2024 11:33:03 GMT -6
I think the last name gripes only exist on the internet. I blame The Knot and The Bump for it.
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Post by sweptaway on Feb 8, 2024 11:33:59 GMT -6
I also think people getting bent out of shape over it as some feminist tired is tedious. "Oh, it's Jones actually." And keep it moving. And once the couple has kids, how do I know the last name of the kids? It's not usually a press release to the world, so I'm certain my holiday cards are a mixture of inaccuracies and half-truths. I do "The Smith and Jones Family" That's probably wrong too
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brux
Diamond
Posts: 35,330 Likes: 282,461
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Post by brux on Feb 8, 2024 11:36:06 GMT -6
My household will soon have three working last names. It’s chaos. People will get it wrong. Meh. I have a friend whose family has three last names and they're all long names and I actually have to wrap the name on her holiday card address to a second line. Pure chaos.
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Post by sweptaway on Feb 8, 2024 11:36:19 GMT -6
H's younger cousin is getting married in April. It's fine, can't wait to eat. And you know celebrate the couple. But honestly weddings just feel like a chore anymore.
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Pizzaslut
Ruby
*it’s a joke. get some hobbies.
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Post by Pizzaslut on Feb 8, 2024 11:36:22 GMT -6
After my cousin got married for the 3rd time I texted her and said I can't keep track of you anymore, wtf do I put on your Christmas card.
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Post by CurlieWhirlie on Feb 8, 2024 11:36:32 GMT -6
My household will soon have three working last names. It’s chaos. People will get it wrong. Meh. This is what it's like in my house, with me having my maiden name, DS1 having his father's (my ex's) last name, and H and his three boys (stepsons and DS2) having his last name. It has been this way for 10 years and I thought it would confuse people but it really doesn't, and no one from like the school district or friends' parents have ever gotten it wrong. We have created our own last name mashup, like ScarJo etc. and use it when we send out holiday cards and have it monogrammed on our beach totes etc. Coming up with that name mashup was a fun exercise for the kids and helped solidify our blended family status.
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Post by sweptaway on Feb 8, 2024 11:36:48 GMT -6
Except for the insanely fancy wedding we went to at the Brooklyn Museum last year, which I can only assume cost more than my house. That was a good wedding.
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brux
Diamond
Posts: 35,330 Likes: 282,461
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Post by brux on Feb 8, 2024 11:37:27 GMT -6
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AmyG
Ruby
Posts: 15,372 Likes: 33,958
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Post by AmyG on Feb 8, 2024 11:37:47 GMT -6
My household will soon have three working last names. It’s chaos. People will get it wrong. Meh. I have a friend whose family has three last names and they're all long names and I actually have to wrap the name on her holiday card address to a second line. Pure chaos. In that instance I pick one person and write Kim Jones and family
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Post by sweptaway on Feb 8, 2024 11:38:00 GMT -6
I have old acquaintance friends who, when they got married, hyphenated and they BOTH took the hyphenated name. So they are Jane Smith-Jones and John Smith-Jones. I don't know how they decided whose name to put first. I kind of liked that.
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