Yogurt
Emerald
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Post by Yogurt on Aug 19, 2017 15:15:40 GMT -6
I know we all know it can take healthy couples a year, etc. That really doesn't make bfns much easier to swallow. I'm struggling. I thought you might be struggling too. I don't care if it's been 1 cycle or much more, I thought it'd be nice to have a place to vent if you feel like it.
Possible triggers ahead.
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Yogurt
Emerald
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Post by Yogurt on Aug 19, 2017 15:18:39 GMT -6
So I got pregnant easily the first time. Now that it's not happening, my mind is going to all the dark places. I'm AMA, and my husband is 7 years older so I am wondering if something between us just isn't as high quality as it was a few years ago. Maybe since my cycles changed after my baby the short luteal phase is screwing me? Who knows. I'm sad. I feel bad for feeling bad too, because it's only been three cycles. But my timing has been so good and it's making me spiral.
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Post by MauLoaM0M on Aug 19, 2017 16:52:14 GMT -6
Hugs Yogurt! I feel the exact same way as you!! I'm spiraling researching every possible thing that could possibly be wrong with me & kicking myself for waiting so long!!!! We got pregnant within two cycles when I miscarried & got pregnant with my DS three cycles after my m/c. I nievely thought at 35 I'd would be just as easy. How stupid! I bought supplements which did not at all agree with me so I had to stop those. I went out today and bought a BBT so I'll give that a try. I am making myself crazy  |
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kam3100
Platinum
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Post by kam3100 on Aug 19, 2017 18:05:29 GMT -6
TW loss mentioned:
My first pregnancy we were very casual about trying and had a successful pregnancy. It was fairly easy.
I also got pregnant a 2nd time. It was completely unplanned. My husband and I had sex one time ( in like three months). I got pregnant. This pregnancy ended up in a loss.
I've only been trying for a few months this time but I'm 40 pounds less than I was the last two pregnancies and I'm healthier. My husband also stopped smoking and is healthier. We've gotten our timing exactly right and nothing. It boggles my mind.
TTC is such a stupid mindfuck. When I read about someone who struggles with fertility, I feel like they must be the strongest people out there. I can barely handle the mindfuck after a couple months.
Anyway to sum it up, I feel similar to both Yogurt and Mauloam0m. Hugs to you guys.
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Post by MauLoaM0M on Aug 19, 2017 18:07:12 GMT -6
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Yogurt
Emerald
Posts: 11,886 Likes: 42,310
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Post by Yogurt on Aug 19, 2017 18:08:34 GMT -6
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Yogurt
Emerald
Posts: 11,886 Likes: 42,310
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Post by Yogurt on Aug 19, 2017 18:09:07 GMT -6
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kam3100
Platinum
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Post by kam3100 on Aug 19, 2017 18:18:33 GMT -6
Also I feel terribly guilty for having these feelings. I have friends who've been trying for years. So what right do I have to complain?
Thank you for putting this out there Yogurt. It helps to know that there are others feeling similar.
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Bluebird
Amethyst
Posts: 6,396 Likes: 22,218
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Post by Bluebird on Aug 19, 2017 19:52:08 GMT -6
We've been trying for almost a year for #2. I am AMA now. On Friday, both our nanny and MH's grandmother made comments asking when we were going to have another, so that felt pretty shitty.
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kam3100
Platinum
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Post by kam3100 on Aug 19, 2017 19:58:22 GMT -6
We've been trying for almost a year for #2. I am AMA now. On Friday, both our nanny and MH's grandmother made comments asking when we were going to have another, so that felt pretty shitty. Sorry Bluebird. People are so nosy and always stick their foot in their mouth. |
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Post by charliefox on Aug 19, 2017 23:20:45 GMT -6
Y'all probably already know I have lots of feels about TTC... Honestly, I find TFAS to be much harder than TTC #1, but I also feel super duper guilty over those feelings. Each cycle I see the age gap spreading and stress out, then immediately feel terrible that some people are still waiting for their first. Other times I have a really tough day with DS and feel horrible for wanting to add more craziness to our life. Ahhhhh. I hate not having any control. Bluebird, as close as I am with my family, I haven't told anyone about our struggles because I would hate to have them watching my every move and reading into everything. I'm sure the comments will be coming soon either way though... |
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robot
Ruby
Posts: 23,117 Likes: 51,695
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Post by robot on Aug 20, 2017 5:22:24 GMT -6
I had a chemical pregnancy last cycle and just got a BFN for this one. Last cycle was my first on progesterone and I was really hoping this month might be the same, just sticky. Gut punch.
I've been not asked but had people assume I was pregnant at the last 2 weddings we went to. And it's tough to be on my old BMB at the moment. I love all the women there but so many are either KTFU or have recently had newborns since our kids are 2 now. And many of the ones who are pregnant were TTC for 5 minutes. So happy for them but this sucks.
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Yogurt
Emerald
Posts: 11,886 Likes: 42,310
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Post by Yogurt on Aug 20, 2017 8:42:34 GMT -6
Hugs robot. My bmb is a very difficult place to be for me. Many pregnant, newly pregnant and some newborns. They are all lovely and nothing but sincerely supportive, but I want to (or do) cry when I look at many, many of the posts. I really just can't handle it. I'm crying right now just thinking about it. |
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robot
Ruby
Posts: 23,117 Likes: 51,695
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Post by robot on Aug 20, 2017 11:21:02 GMT -6
Aw, big hugs Yogurt. This is bullshit. I'm so sorry for you and everyone else feeling down about this. TTC is the worst. My BMB is hard (even casual mentions of I bought xyz maternity clothes hurts) and my local mom groups and FB feed are no better. It's not an exaggeration to say that the vast majority of moms I know with kids around the age of mine are either pregnant or have newborns. My heart hurts. |
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notmoose
Amethyst
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Post by notmoose on Aug 20, 2017 15:36:35 GMT -6
I had a chemical pregnancy last cycle and just got a BFN for this one. Last cycle was my first on progesterone and I was really hoping this month might be the same, just sticky. Gut punch. I've been not asked but had people assume I was pregnant at the last 2 weddings we went to. And it's tough to be on my old BMB at the moment. I love all the women there but so many are either KTFU or have recently had newborns since our kids are 2 now. And many of the ones who are pregnant were TTC for 5 minutes. So happy for them but this sucks. These are my exact feelings about our board. It's so so hard for me to read the pregnancy posts and newborn posts but I don't want to just leave the board either. |
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notmoose
Amethyst
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Post by notmoose on Aug 20, 2017 15:47:43 GMT -6
Big hugs to every one!
My emotions seem to change about hourly in regards to ttc.
TRIGGER WARNING
After 7 months of ttc we got pregnant. I lost that baby almost 3 weeks ago at just under 11 weeks.
My heart still hurts and I'm angry a lot. And it doesn't help that 3 of my SIL just had babies in the last couple months and 1 more is due this month. My little sister is due in December. We were due exactly 9 weeks apart.
With my first 2 kids I got pregnant the first month. With my loss I was beyond frustrated while ttc and wondering if something was wrong. And now we have to start all over again.
I still want another baby so badly, but God idk how I can handle it if it takes another 7 months or more. And idk how I'll get through pregnancy. I already have anxiety, during pregnancy it's worse. I can't imagine the level it will be if/when I get pregnant again.
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Bluebird
Amethyst
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Post by Bluebird on Aug 20, 2017 16:57:15 GMT -6
I think we can all agree that TTC is the worst! Thankful for the support of this board though. Glad to have you lovely ladies. And wine. 🍷
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kam3100
Platinum
Posts: 2,233 Likes: 4,609
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Post by kam3100 on Aug 20, 2017 18:23:21 GMT -6
I think we can all agree that TTC is the worst! Thankful for the support of this board though. Glad to have you lovely ladies. And wine. 🍷 Amen! |
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robot
Ruby
Posts: 23,117 Likes: 51,695
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Post by robot on Aug 20, 2017 20:09:40 GMT -6
I had a chemical pregnancy last cycle and just got a BFN for this one. Last cycle was my first on progesterone and I was really hoping this month might be the same, just sticky. Gut punch. I've been not asked but had people assume I was pregnant at the last 2 weddings we went to. And it's tough to be on my old BMB at the moment. I love all the women there but so many are either KTFU or have recently had newborns since our kids are 2 now. And many of the ones who are pregnant were TTC for 5 minutes. So happy for them but this sucks. These are my exact feelings about our board. It's so so hard for me to read the pregnancy posts and newborn posts but I don't want to just leave the board either. Ugh, I'm so sorry notmoose. It really is a hard place to be when you're stuck in TTC hell, not to mention post-loss. Love you friend. Feel free to message me anytime. |
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notmoose
Amethyst
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Post by notmoose on Aug 20, 2017 20:43:20 GMT -6
These are my exact feelings about our board. It's so so hard for me to read the pregnancy posts and newborn posts but I don't want to just leave the board either. Ugh, I'm so sorry notmoose. It really is a hard place to be when you're stuck in TTC hell, not to mention post-loss. Love you friend. Feel free to message me anytime. Love you too girl. I honestly wondered if those posts bugged you too since you had a loss recently and are ttc too, but didn't want to bring it up if you weren't feeling that way. I'm sorry you're hurting too. |
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cara
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Post by cara on Aug 21, 2017 7:12:50 GMT -6
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cara
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Post by cara on Aug 21, 2017 7:20:41 GMT -6
I'm struggling a lot, too. I had a CP back in March and have been TFAS ever since with no luck. My DS is 3.5 and the age gap is starting to stress me out. We conceived him very easily. I went off BC and was pregnant that next month. I'm approaching AMA.
Eight women on my block have just had a baby or are pregnant. Several friends/acquaintances I have are pregnant or just had a baby. On my BMB, some are pregnant with their third and most everyone has had their second except 3 of us (who have been TTC). I'm starting to feel like maybe it's not meant to be for us. I know it hasn't been a year yet, but we're on cycle 7 and my optimism is waning. We've had some very well-timed cycles.
I'm currently in the TWW on 8DPO and started getting watery CM yesterday. I can't accurately temp since I'm progesterone supplements but my guess is that I've had a drop in progesterone and AF is coming. I'm also getting cramps exactly like AF is coming. MY LP was only 10 days before the supplements so it makes sense that I'm started to get AF symptoms at 7DPO.
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kam3100
Platinum
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Post by kam3100 on Aug 21, 2017 7:48:17 GMT -6
Sorry cara it's so hard. I also hate that it makes us question everything about our journey. Hugs |
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Post by Deleted on Aug 21, 2017 10:05:07 GMT -6
Hugs to all of you. I'm sorry we are all in the same boat.
It took me a year and a half to get pregnant with my DS. We are now on cycle 9 of TFAS. I try not to talk to anyone about it honestly, because it's disappointing when every month is a BFN. My doctor is on board with starting fertility testing right away if I'm not pregnant after a year of trying.
My little sister is having a baby next month, and I'm jealous. It's hard to say "why not me?" when she's very young, in a tumultuous relationship, and living with her mom. I've had to stop wallowing and be supportive.
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Speedy
Sapphire
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Post by Speedy on Aug 21, 2017 10:29:44 GMT -6
I'm just about to hop back into TTC, and while I'm pretty carefree and optimistic about it right now, I know that there's the possibility for it to go bad quickly. It took us 4 months and 6 months for our two losses, and I'm scared about what if it takes that long or longer?
I know we're both healthier now, and MH was pretty lackadaisical about TTC last go around, where I think he's more invested this time (even talking about names and how to fit baby into our new place), so hopefully I'll be able to get him to try TI.
I do know that conception is basically a miracle of everything coming together just the right way at just the right time, so I'm trying to keep that in mind, and the fact that if things don't work, I'm still young enough, and we still have lots of options open to us. Just keeping everything crossed for now.
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notmoose
Amethyst
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Post by notmoose on Aug 21, 2017 18:46:53 GMT -6
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Risscaboobs
Sapphire
Fuck is by far my favorite F word.
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Post by Risscaboobs on Aug 21, 2017 19:47:36 GMT -6
I am struggling a bit too. I know that perfect timing and all that means nothing. I had 6 perfect cycles with great timing last go around before I got my BFP with my daughter. I was completely shocked when I got a squinter and then a darker line last month because it was only our second month trying. Shocked. And then I lost it. I feel - weird about it. Like I shouldn't really be so upset because I wasn't further along. Like it could have been so much worse. Like I shouldn't even call it a loss. It comes and goes in waves. I had been fine for like a week. Today, another friend of mine announced she is pregnant with baby #2. I am so extremely happy for her, but I just cried. We would have been in the same BMB this go around. It just sucks. Bah-humbug.
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notmoose
Amethyst
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Post by notmoose on Aug 21, 2017 20:35:02 GMT -6
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Risscaboobs
Sapphire
Fuck is by far my favorite F word.
Posts: 2,971 Likes: 10,175
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Post by Risscaboobs on Aug 21, 2017 20:40:09 GMT -6
you too, sweetie. Thank you. |
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Post by radiantfate on Aug 22, 2017 14:11:08 GMT -6
All the feels here too. I'm also AMA, MH is 5 years older than me. I was 27 when I got KU with my daughter and that took a year (with my XH, who was younger than me). I also worry there's something age/gene related, especially w/ our CP a few months back.
I'm also super bummed because he got laid off and we put TTC on hold after 8 months of trying. And now it seems like everyone around me is having babies.
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