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Post by readinglove on Aug 3, 2017 16:34:46 GMT -6
Oh honey, I am so incredibly sorry and am sending you all of the creepy internet hugs. Be gentle with yourself, and do what you need to in order to protect yourself as you heal both physically and emotionally. You are most definitely not a shitty sister - you're going through a very traumatic life experience.
The AL communities here are nothing short of amazing if you're interested in support that way - they're what got me through my losses.
Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk
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aprilz81
Platinum
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Post by aprilz81 on Aug 3, 2017 17:09:51 GMT -6
Thank you for the kind words, they really mean a lot. I'm sad I won't get to be on a BMB with y'all. I already love it here with you all. I'm supposed to host my sister's baby shower on Saturday. I was actually getting more stuff at hobby lobby when the bleeding started yesterday. Idk how I can even go to her shower let alone host it. That probably makes me a shitty sister. No, that makes you HUMAN. Can someone step in and host for you?
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Post by helloerrbody on Aug 3, 2017 17:38:28 GMT -6
I am so so sorry. I know nothing I can say will make it better, but know you are not alone and we are thinking about you and praying for you. (((HUGS)))
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Post by tiffrobot on Aug 3, 2017 18:52:48 GMT -6
Oh no..I'm so sorry. There's probably not much I can say that's helpful right now, so all the hugs to you instead.
Also there's no way you could have predicted this when you offered to host your sister's shower. Things change, be kind to yourself if you choose to step back.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
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teraiin
Amethyst
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Post by teraiin on Aug 3, 2017 19:47:21 GMT -6
I am so sorry to hear this 😭 (Hug) I hate that this happened. I really wish there was something I could say or do to make this better
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Post by blueskiessmiling on Aug 3, 2017 20:20:24 GMT -6
I'm so so sorry for your loss. It's a heartbreaking thing to go through. I second the advice to make sure to cancel any upcoming appointments, I got an appointment reminder voicemail the week after my son passed away and it was a terrible trigger.
I'm also angry on your behalf they let you leave without telling you anything. A nurse should at least be able to read the ultrasound report and relay the info to you. It seems unprofessional and very uncompassionate of them.
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notmoose
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Post by notmoose on Aug 3, 2017 20:32:54 GMT -6
MH called my family and my mom and stepdad are taking over the shower. My sister said she understands. She found out she's having a boy today. I can't help but feel angry and jealous (not at her) about our very different news. I love her and want to be happy but I cant think past my hurt.
Is it normal to not want to see or speak to anyone? I put my phone on silent because I can't stand to talk or even text anyone and I hid in my room all day. I just want MH.
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Post by babybean on Aug 3, 2017 20:45:49 GMT -6
I don't go here, but I'm so sorry for your loss. I'll be thinking of you and sending healing vibes. ❤️
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lili
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Post by lili on Aug 3, 2017 21:08:26 GMT -6
MH called my family and my mom and stepdad are taking over the shower. My sister said she understands. She found out she's having a boy today. I can't help but feel angry and jealous (not at her) about our very different news. I love her and want to be happy but I cant think past my hurt. Is it normal to not want to see or speak to anyone? I put my phone on silent because I can't stand to talk or even text anyone and I hid in my room all day. I just want MH. I'm so sorry this has happened/is happening to you. There are no words to make the pain go away. This is a completely normal response and you need to take all the time that you need.
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aprilz81
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Post by aprilz81 on Aug 3, 2017 21:26:35 GMT -6
MH called my family and my mom and stepdad are taking over the shower. My sister said she understands. She found out she's having a boy today. I can't help but feel angry and jealous (not at her) about our very different news. I love her and want to be happy but I cant think past my hurt. Is it normal to not want to see or speak to anyone? I put my phone on silent because I can't stand to talk or even text anyone and I hid in my room all day. I just want MH. Everyone reacts differently and I think your feelings are normal. I would start to get concerned if this goes on for multiple days but right now it is okay to feel all of your feelings. Grief, envy, anger, even all of them at the same time. It is normal.
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snowyowl
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Post by snowyowl on Aug 3, 2017 21:46:35 GMT -6
MH called my family and my mom and stepdad are taking over the shower. My sister said she understands. She found out she's having a boy today. I can't help but feel angry and jealous (not at her) about our very different news. I love her and want to be happy but I cant think past my hurt. Is it normal to not want to see or speak to anyone? I put my phone on silent because I can't stand to talk or even text anyone and I hid in my room all day. I just want MH. This was exactly my reaction. I even texted the news to my mom, asked her to tell everyone, and asked them not to call me until I called them. It took me a week to feel comfortable spending time with other people. I think I needed a chance to get a handle on my emotions before I could handle being around other people's emotions and sympathy. I'm so sorry this happened to you. It's awful but I promise it does get better, even though it feels overwhelming now. Your doctor's office sucks, don't think you are being unreasonable just because you are hurting.
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Post by helloerrbody on Aug 4, 2017 5:33:43 GMT -6
MH called my family and my mom and stepdad are taking over the shower. My sister said she understands. She found out she's having a boy today. I can't help but feel angry and jealous (not at her) about our very different news. I love her and want to be happy but I cant think past my hurt. Is it normal to not want to see or speak to anyone? I put my phone on silent because I can't stand to talk or even text anyone and I hid in my room all day. I just want MH. That seems very normal to me. You need time to grieve. It is okay to feel angry and jealous, as well. Sending all my love.
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Post by rebeccabunch on Aug 4, 2017 6:39:30 GMT -6
MH called my family and my mom and stepdad are taking over the shower. My sister said she understands. She found out she's having a boy today. I can't help but feel angry and jealous (not at her) about our very different news. I love her and want to be happy but I cant think past my hurt. Is it normal to not want to see or speak to anyone? I put my phone on silent because I can't stand to talk or even text anyone and I hid in my room all day. I just want MH. I laid in my room with the lights off all day then drank a bottle of wine that night and ate sushi with my H and then cried myself to sleep. Your feelings are normal. I'm so sorry. Sounds like you have a wonderful family, that everyone understands. We will be thinking about you and not just today either.
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notmoose
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Post by notmoose on Aug 4, 2017 12:30:34 GMT -6
I slept until 1 and didn't remember right away when I woke up. I called the Dr again and was told the nurse would call me in a few minutes. It's been almost an hour and a half. I'm sure this isn't important to them but I just need them to fucking say it to me.
I am eating my feelings which is probably not the best. I told MH I wanted to go get wine later. That's ok, right? I don't have to wait or anything?
I'm sorry I keep bumping this thread back up. y'alls responses have helped. I promise I won't keep coming back forever. I just don't know where else to turn right now.
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aprilz81
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Post by aprilz81 on Aug 4, 2017 12:42:36 GMT -6
I slept until 1 and didn't remember right away when I woke up. I called the Dr again and was told the nurse would call me in a few minutes. It's been almost an hour and a half. I'm sure this isn't important to them but I just need them to fucking say it to me. I am eating my feelings which is probably not the best. I told MH I wanted to go get wine later. That's ok, right? I don't have to wait or anything? I'm sorry I keep bumping this thread back up. y'alls responses have helped. I promise I won't keep coming back forever. I just don't know where else to turn right now. The way they are treating you is NOT OKAY. Period. You should not have to wait DAYS to get confirmation of a loss after an ultrasound. If a doctor was out of town someone has to be covering for that doctor or the office should have been closed down. If you have any other option for OB/GYN care I would change practices because this is NOT RIGHT and NOT NORMAL. I'm so sorry on top of everything else you are being treated so horribly by that practice.
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bassa
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Post by bassa on Aug 4, 2017 12:45:37 GMT -6
I am so sorry for what you're going through. You can absolutely go get wine - go get whatever you need, and eat what you need. Loss is miserable and you don't need to pretend otherwise.
And I think it's safe to say that you are welcome to keep coming back here forever.
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Post by easternshoregirl on Aug 4, 2017 12:45:47 GMT -6
Come back as much as you want/need to! We're here for you. I also find your doc's office to be completely unacceptable. How awful. I remember telling DH I didn't want to go to sleep after one of my mc's because then I would have to wake up and remember it. That was really tough for me. ETA: I also ate my feelings. I know it doesn't fix anything but if it makes you feel good to eat an ice cream cone or have some pizza (those are my choices!) then do it. And yes, wine is OK.
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ajetter
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Post by ajetter on Aug 4, 2017 12:59:52 GMT -6
I didn't want to talk to anyone at all at first either. Completely normal. My mom wanted to be with me and take care of me and I just couldn't.
The way you are being treated by your doctors office is not ok. I agree with everything April said.
TW:: LOSS MENTIONED
Anecdotal but I'll tell you my emotions and such were unpredictable and hard to control until about the 5 week mark, right when I got my first period. I had a D&C for a MMC, baby stopped growing at 12 weeks. It took until 4 weeks for the HCG to leave my system. I tell you this mostly to say that you may feel like a complete crazy person for a while, and that's normal, but if you do feel like you get to a really dark place reach out. Either to someone IRL or to us. Don't suffer alone.
Big hugs. I hate that you're going through this.
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smores
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Post by smores on Aug 4, 2017 14:04:35 GMT -6
I'm so sorry that your doctor's office is being so unprofessional about this. Pregnancy loss is so devastating to go through and I'm sorry that you are being treated which such flippancy. I'm not sure what the process is for this, but I would definitely (maybe later down the road) file a complaint with them (or have your H do it on your behalf). It's not ok for them to treat people that way.
I'm glad that your family was able to step in for you and host your sister's shower. I know that the day will certainly be a rough one regardless, but I hope that eliminates at least a tiny bit of stress from you during this time.
After my loss was confirmed, but before my D&C I had H go and pick up good wine, donuts, and ice cream. As far as I'm aware there are no issues with drinking wine during a miscarriage. Like you, and many of the other ladies it seems, I did not want to be around anyone especially during that first 1-3 weeks. I leaned on my parents a lot and they watched my DD for a few days so that H and I could be alone and zone out on whatever TV show. I also cancelled plans with friends. As I wasn't yet ready to talk about it, I gave no reason beyond a general, "sorry, something came up and I won't be able to make it". It was what I needed to do at the time to protect myself mentally/emotionally. So absolutely do not feel bad cancelling things, leaning (heavily) on family, and otherwise doing whatever you need to in order to protect yourself as much as you can. Even if that means crying alone in bed for a few days. One day you will feel like being around people again, one day you will maybe even feel like talking about this with friends/family, but in the meantime they will understand if you don't. We are always here for you <3
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snowyowl
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Post by snowyowl on Aug 4, 2017 15:49:02 GMT -6
I can't believe they let you even leave the building without having someone there who could look at the US and give you the news, let alone this run around. I hope they've called you since you've posted. Drink wine and eat feelings. I don't know if it made me feel better, persay, but at least it all tasted good.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 4, 2017 17:32:52 GMT -6
I'm so sorry for your loss.
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Post by tiffrobot on Aug 4, 2017 20:32:44 GMT -6
Im I'm sorry I keep bumping this thread back up. y'alls responses have helped. I promise I won't keep coming back forever. I just don't know where else to turn right now. Please try not to feel this way. I'm happy to hear from you and know it gives you a place to process feelings.
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Post by jessijean on Aug 4, 2017 21:26:19 GMT -6
please come in and talk as much as you need to. We are here for you!
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snowyowl
Amethyst
Posts: 6,904 Likes: 31,577
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Post by snowyowl on Aug 4, 2017 22:55:34 GMT -6
Stay here as long as you want! The ladies on the loss boards are really wonderful, but you should absolutely post where you are most comfortable right now.
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Post by sweetsurprise on Aug 5, 2017 11:17:56 GMT -6
Hey notmoose I hope you had some wine and are taking it easy. Your OB's office sounds terrible. Please feel free to keep coming here. Xoxo
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notmoose
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Post by notmoose on Aug 5, 2017 13:12:53 GMT -6
I did finally get a hold of my dr yesterday, 3 hours after I was told I'd get a call back in a few minutes. I was right and my uterus was empty, save for a few clots. I had to go to the hospital for a blood draw yesterday and need to go back on Monday to make sure my levels are dropping.
I am a bottle and a half of wine in right now. Idk that it's helping any. My 2 year old is the only happiness I have right now (My DD is at my moms or shed make me happy too ). But he's napping with MH, so I'm drinking my feelings.
I just want to crawl in a hole and die right now. This isn't fair. I am angry at God. I want my baby back.
I thank you all again for your kind words. I love you guys even tho we have only "known" each other for a short time. You have no idea how much I appreciate the support and kindness you've shown me. It means more than I can explain.
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dragonflyinn
Emerald
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Post by dragonflyinn on Aug 5, 2017 13:21:10 GMT -6
Huge hugs notmoose. Please come in here for anything you need, we are thinking of you & praying for you!
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Post by jessijean on Aug 5, 2017 13:32:39 GMT -6
My heart is breaking for you notmoose. We are all here for you. Loss is just so unfair.
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Post by sunfrogger on Aug 5, 2017 17:34:59 GMT -6
notmoose, I am so, so sorry and so ANGRY at your doctor's. They failed you in getting you answers and making you feel supported and comfortable. I've been thinking about you all day. Please be kind to yourself. ❤️
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Post by helloerrbody on Aug 5, 2017 19:11:57 GMT -6
I did finally get a hold of my dr yesterday, 3 hours after I was told I'd get a call back in a few minutes. I was right and my uterus was empty, save for a few clots. I had to go to the hospital for a blood draw yesterday and need to go back on Monday to make sure my levels are dropping. I am a bottle and a half of wine in right now. Idk that it's helping any. My 2 year old is the only happiness I have right now (My DD is at my moms or shed make me happy too ). But he's napping with MH, so I'm drinking my feelings. I just want to crawl in a hole and die right now. This isn't fair. I am angry at God. I want my baby back. I thank you all again for your kind words. I love you guys even tho we have only "known" each other for a short time. You have no idea how much I appreciate the support and kindness you've shown me. It means more than I can explain. It's okay to be angry at God. He can handle it. It's not fair, and I'm so sorry you loss your baby. I'll be praying for you as you begin to heal. 💗
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