UO/Confessions/Whatever

[lifesaverz]

Sept 6, 2024 10:34:30 GMT -6 Pizzaslut said:

Sept 6, 2024 10:08:41 GMT -6 jaygee said:

The problem I’m currently having with DS is that he doesn’t understand gentle teasing. I think some of it is because he doesn’t have a sibling and randomly a lot of the kids in his grade have older siblings. So they are hanging out and these kids talk to him how their siblings talk to them and he cries bully at the slightest teasing. Obviously I take bullying very seriously but when he describes the situation I’m thinking “this is just teasing”. I try to talk to him about his part in the interaction (like what happened before they said the thing that upset you) and half the time it’s just back and forth and then one part offends him. It’s tough because I want him to get a little tougher skin but I don’t want him to turn into a jerk. Like be sensitive but also take a joke. I’m sure he’ll get there but the frequent cries of so and so is bullying me is a bit exhausting.

In DS' second grade class last year, they had daily "roasting" sessions. It's a very fine line between friendly teasing and being mean, and it's also very hard to tell what would hurt someone else's feelings. My son still wears his hair down over his forehead because someone said he had a big forehead. Little jerks.

Oh man, that's rough. I remember when I used to be a counselor in schools, it was an endless conversation I would have with kids, about friendly teasing & the line of where you can hurt someone. I always advised we don't tease about things like bodies/appearance, families, etc, because you never know how someone will take it, & honestly it can depend on the day sometimes with kids.

[melohdy]

In maybe not my best parenting moment, I told my 11yo that when she's older, none of the assholes will matter

[rvasc]

Sept 6, 2024 10:42:02 GMT -6 melohdy said:

In maybe not my best parenting moment, I told my 11yo that when she's older, none of the assholes will matter

But that is true tho.

[jaygee]

Sept 6, 2024 10:34:30 GMT -6 Pizzaslut said:

Sept 6, 2024 10:08:41 GMT -6 jaygee said:

The problem I’m currently having with DS is that he doesn’t understand gentle teasing. I think some of it is because he doesn’t have a sibling and randomly a lot of the kids in his grade have older siblings. So they are hanging out and these kids talk to him how their siblings talk to them and he cries bully at the slightest teasing. Obviously I take bullying very seriously but when he describes the situation I’m thinking “this is just teasing”. I try to talk to him about his part in the interaction (like what happened before they said the thing that upset you) and half the time it’s just back and forth and then one part offends him. It’s tough because I want him to get a little tougher skin but I don’t want him to turn into a jerk. Like be sensitive but also take a joke. I’m sure he’ll get there but the frequent cries of so and so is bullying me is a bit exhausting.

In DS' second grade class last year, they had daily "roasting" sessions. It's a very fine line between friendly teasing and being mean, and it's also very hard to tell what would hurt someone else's feelings. My son still wears his hair down over his forehead because someone said he had a big forehead. Little jerks.

Oh poor little dude. I’m sorry for him. I also spent years of my childhood self conscious of my forehead and now I’m like “it seems very normal, what was I thinking”

[coffeecake]

My DS has been having issues with two kids at school. One of them I know because they’ve been in class and on sports teams together since first grade. Sorry, but he’s a jerk. And so are his parents. My DS wants this kid to like him so badly and I’ve basically told him to let it go. I said he’s not a good friend and not worth his time. We’ve already been through mean girl stuff with my DD at this age and I’ve tried to be honest with my kids.

My mom was not good at navigating this stuff with me and I never felt empowered to stand up for myself and felt like I always had to be nice. I’m trying to teach my kids differently while not turning them into the jerks, either.

[jaygee]

My confession is that at back to school night there was a class that after listening to the curriculum and expectations my first thought was that my kid isn’t going to pass this class. Obviously we’ll get him the support he needs if that turns out to be the case. I just felt really bad that my first instinct is to doubt my kids abilities. I don’t even like typing that. I’m going to have a growth mindset about it and monitor to see how it goes.

[melohdy]

In the spirit of shaking things up, and since piercings were brought up in the randoms:

I got my nips pierced in July. I haven't felt this good about my boobs in a long time.

[icedcoffee]

We as a family "roast" each other a lot so I can see how having siblings/how family dynamics can affect how that kind of stuff is taken. I never really thought about that before, I hope my kids have never unintentionally hurt someone's feelings 😬

[Eagles]

Sept 6, 2024 10:36:25 GMT -6 snowyowl said:

I’m sorry Eagles, that’s a sucky feeling.
I will say, I recently ended up at a last minute gathering where I looked around and realized that there were only four of us, when usually we hang as a group of five. I definitely would have said something if I’d realized only J didn’t get invited. I think it was purely oversight, not deliberate.
Is there someone you are closest to that you could ask, to see if there is an issue or just a glitch?

No, based on everyone's work schedules and family commitments it obviously took quite a bit of coordination, and I'm actually the most flexible. So I've always said "anytime, anyplace, I'll come to you guys, just let me know what works!"

Idk maybe I'll just stick to message boarding.

[Eagles]

Sept 6, 2024 10:34:30 GMT -6 Pizzaslut said:

Sept 6, 2024 10:08:41 GMT -6 jaygee said:

The problem I’m currently having with DS is that he doesn’t understand gentle teasing. I think some of it is because he doesn’t have a sibling and randomly a lot of the kids in his grade have older siblings. So they are hanging out and these kids talk to him how their siblings talk to them and he cries bully at the slightest teasing. Obviously I take bullying very seriously but when he describes the situation I’m thinking “this is just teasing”. I try to talk to him about his part in the interaction (like what happened before they said the thing that upset you) and half the time it’s just back and forth and then one part offends him. It’s tough because I want him to get a little tougher skin but I don’t want him to turn into a jerk. Like be sensitive but also take a joke. I’m sure he’ll get there but the frequent cries of so and so is bullying me is a bit exhausting.

In DS' second grade class last year, they had daily "roasting" sessions. It's a very fine line between friendly teasing and being mean, and it's also very hard to tell what would hurt someone else's feelings. My son still wears his hair down over his forehead because someone said he had a big forehead. Little jerks.

I'm sorry. 😔

[piratecat]

I worry about my big kid and his ability to navigate tricky social situations, like A LOT.

[rvasc]

It’s really hard to teach how to stand up for yourself without being an asshole back.

I did tell her that if the “friend” asks why she has been avoiding her, she should say, “because you’re not nice to me, and I don’t like to talk to people who aren’t nice to me.” And walk away. And if the friend pursues it, to say, “you know what I’m talking about,” because she will definitely deny it. And then to say, “I don’t want to get into it with you because I just don’t care. We don’t have to be friends.” And just keep saying those same things. And if she has to work with her or whatever, call out her bad behavior in the moment with, “please don’t talk to me like that.” Or “that was really rude. Stop.”

[trueblue]

DS14 is not an easy kid to parent, especially related to school thing. I am in the process of securing tutors, scheduling a 504 update meeting, spending hours arguing over and working through school work since he is failing 3 classes at the moment (hoping the tutors take the power struggle out of the equation for us), and emailing his teachers. I want to hide in a dark room when I imagine the rest of this year, finals, passing courses to graduate, and the day to day slog of dealing with his attitude (which is more than half the battle) that is going to be the next 4 years of my life.

I won’t give up on him but damn this is going to be exhausting until something gives.

[rvasc]

I also told her that if this continues, she will need to talk to or email her teachers about not putting them in groups together.

[rvasc]

Sept 6, 2024 11:47:55 GMT -6 trueblue said:

DS14 is not an easy kid to parent, especially related to school thing. I am in the process of securing tutors, scheduling a 504 update meeting, spending hours arguing over and working through school work since he is failing 3 classes at the moment (hoping the tutors take the power struggle out of the equation for us), and emailing his teachers. I want to hide in a dark room when I imagine the rest of this year, finals, passing courses to graduate, and the day to day slog of dealing with his attitude (which is more than half the battle) that is going to be the next 4 years of my life.

I won’t give up on him but damn this is going to be exhausting until something gives.

I’m sorry. Parenting is so hard sometimes.

[rvasc]

I’m sure this is not an unpopular opinion, but DD’s science teacher gave them an in class assignment on Friday with 15 minutes left in class. To do correctly (and it was graded) would take a kid 45 minutes-an hour. She made it due at 11:59 pm that same day! I think this is outrageous for sixth graders on a Friday, especially a holiday weekend. I just want y’all to be irritated with me.

[CurlieWhirlie]

Sept 6, 2024 11:47:55 GMT -6 trueblue said:

DS14 is not an easy kid to parent, especially related to school thing. I am in the process of securing tutors, scheduling a 504 update meeting, spending hours arguing over and working through school work since he is failing 3 classes at the moment (hoping the tutors take the power struggle out of the equation for us), and emailing his teachers. I want to hide in a dark room when I imagine the rest of this year, finals, passing courses to graduate, and the day to day slog of dealing with his attitude (which is more than half the battle) that is going to be the next 4 years of my life.

I won’t give up on him but damn this is going to be exhausting until something gives.

I feel you. Parenting teenagers is so hard. My 15yo really dislikes school and it can be a constant struggle for me to walk the line of nagging him to death and maintaining a decent relationship (such as it is during these teen years). It's really not for the faint of heart.

[Eagles]

Sept 6, 2024 11:56:45 GMT -6 rvasc said:

I’m sure this is not an unpopular opinion, but DD’s science teacher gave them an in class assignment on Friday with 15 minutes left in class. To do correctly (and it was graded) would take a kid 45 minutes-an hour. She made it due at 11:59 pm that same day! I think this is outrageous for sixth graders on a Friday, especially a holiday weekend. I just want y’all to be irritated with me.

Ffs it's not college.

The amount of packet work and summer reading my nieces had to do (1st, 2nd, 4th, 5th) was ridiculous imo. Give these damn kids a break.

[shadows]

Sept 6, 2024 11:56:45 GMT -6 rvasc said:

I’m sure this is not an unpopular opinion, but DD’s science teacher gave them an in class assignment on Friday with 15 minutes left in class. To do correctly (and it was graded) would take a kid 45 minutes-an hour. She made it due at 11:59 pm that same day! I think this is outrageous for sixth graders on a Friday, especially a holiday weekend. I just want y’all to be irritated with me.

I'd be ticked, especially because a lot of people were headed out of town after school on Friday.  

[coffeecake]

Sept 6, 2024 11:47:41 GMT -6 rvasc said:

It’s really hard to teach how to stand up for yourself without being an asshole back.

I did tell her that if the “friend” asks why she has been avoiding her, she should say, “because you’re not nice to me, and I don’t like to talk to people who aren’t nice to me.” And walk away. And if the friend pursues it, to say, “you know what I’m talking about,” because she will definitely deny it. And then to say, “I don’t want to get into it with you because I just don’t care. We don’t have to be friends.” And just keep saying those same things. And if she has to work with her or whatever, call out her bad behavior in the moment with, “please don’t talk to me like that.” Or “that was really rude. Stop.”

The word I use with my kids is “assertive.” There is a difference between being mean and being assertive. I wish I would have learned it at a younger age because it’s not really my personality and it takes practice. I’m still working on it in my forties.

[piratecat]

Sept 6, 2024 11:56:45 GMT -6 rvasc said:

I’m sure this is not an unpopular opinion, but DD’s science teacher gave them an in class assignment on Friday with 15 minutes left in class. To do correctly (and it was graded) would take a kid 45 minutes-an hour. She made it due at 11:59 pm that same day! I think this is outrageous for sixth graders on a Friday, especially a holiday weekend. I just want y’all to be irritated with me.

I hate that so much. 

I'm so glad that homework hasn't been a thing yet. 

[abs]

Sept 6, 2024 11:56:45 GMT -6 rvasc said:

I’m sure this is not an unpopular opinion, but DD’s science teacher gave them an in class assignment on Friday with 15 minutes left in class. To do correctly (and it was graded) would take a kid 45 minutes-an hour. She made it due at 11:59 pm that same day! I think this is outrageous for sixth graders on a Friday, especially a holiday weekend. I just want y’all to be irritated with me.

I hate this. Was a huge problem right after Covid when online work really became a thing. Parents pushed back and now district policy is weekend homework can’t be due until Sunday at 11:59 pm.

I am coming to hate all this on line work in general. YouTube videos, slide shows to fill out, and online text books. Not sure how much learning is taking place. DD’s favorite classes now are Spanish and humanities because they are more project based. She’s over computers, too.

[rvasc]

Sept 6, 2024 12:55:15 GMT -6 abs said:

Sept 6, 2024 11:56:45 GMT -6 rvasc said:

I’m sure this is not an unpopular opinion, but DD’s science teacher gave them an in class assignment on Friday with 15 minutes left in class. To do correctly (and it was graded) would take a kid 45 minutes-an hour. She made it due at 11:59 pm that same day! I think this is outrageous for sixth graders on a Friday, especially a holiday weekend. I just want y’all to be irritated with me.

I hate this. Was a huge problem right after Covid when online work really became a thing. Parents pushed back and now district policy is weekend homework can’t be due until Sunday at 11:59 pm.

I am coming to hate all this on line work in general. YouTube videos, slide shows to fill out, and online text books. Not sure how much learning is taking place. DD’s favorite classes now are Spanish and humanities because they are more project based. She’s over computers, too.

You know, this just gave me an idea….

[spottedprincess]

Apps!

I toyed with trading my vehicle in and was asking about remote start. It's an app. To get one on key fob it had to be after market.
I want no more apps. Too many things on my phone already! Every dang thing is an app.

[rvasc]

Sept 6, 2024 12:40:29 GMT -6 shadows said:

Sept 6, 2024 11:56:45 GMT -6 rvasc said:

I’m sure this is not an unpopular opinion, but DD’s science teacher gave them an in class assignment on Friday with 15 minutes left in class. To do correctly (and it was graded) would take a kid 45 minutes-an hour. She made it due at 11:59 pm that same day! I think this is outrageous for sixth graders on a Friday, especially a holiday weekend. I just want y’all to be irritated with me.

I'd be ticked, especially because a lot of people were headed out of town after school on Friday.  

Right! DD said a lot of kids were like…. Ummmm I’m getting in the car after school and driving several hours…

[origami]

Sept 6, 2024 10:08:41 GMT -6 jaygee said:

The problem I’m currently having with DS is that he doesn’t understand gentle teasing. I think some of it is because he doesn’t have a sibling and randomly a lot of the kids in his grade have older siblings. So they are hanging out and these kids talk to him how their siblings talk to them and he cries bully at the slightest teasing. Obviously I take bullying very seriously but when he describes the situation I’m thinking “this is just teasing”. I try to talk to him about his part in the interaction (like what happened before they said the thing that upset you) and half the time it’s just back and forth and then one part offends him. It’s tough because I want him to get a little tougher skin but I don’t want him to turn into a jerk. Like be sensitive but also take a joke. I’m sure he’ll get there but the frequent cries of so and so is bullying me is a bit exhausting.

Oh, hi, me. DS actually did have a pretty bad bully last year but that also translated into thinking everyone was targeting him all the time. We’ve actually tried to incorporate a bit more gentle ribbing in our house (of everyone) particularly when my older stepkid is here, to help him get a thicker skin and learn the difference between targeted shit and jokes. It’s hard but I think we’re getting there.

[miawallace]

I don’t know if this is unpopular or not but I dislike sending voice notes. I rather write a mile long text message or several of them before recording a voice note back. I receive them all the time and they are so convenient - I just can’t send them back. I get way too embarrassed and cringe at how I speak.

[angelashly]

Sept 6, 2024 13:40:10 GMT -6 miawallace said:

I don’t know if this is unpopular or not but I dislike sending voice notes. I rather write a mile long text message or several of them before recording a voice note back. I receive them all the time and they are so convenient - I just can’t send them back. I get way too embarrassed and cringe at how I speak.

Dd has a friend that hates to text so she sends her not even just voice memos but actual videos. Why????

I’m with you. I’ll text all day

[lifesaverz]

Sept 6, 2024 11:56:45 GMT -6 rvasc said:

I’m sure this is not an unpopular opinion, but DD’s science teacher gave them an in class assignment on Friday with 15 minutes left in class. To do correctly (and it was graded) would take a kid 45 minutes-an hour. She made it due at 11:59 pm that same day! I think this is outrageous for sixth graders on a Friday, especially a holiday weekend. I just want y’all to be irritated with me.

Yeah that sounds annoying 😖

[enchanted]

Sept 6, 2024 13:09:01 GMT -6 spottedprincess said:

Apps!

I toyed with trading my vehicle in and was asking about remote start. It's an app. To get one on key fob it had to be after market.
I want no more apps. Too many things on my phone already! Every dang thing is an app.

So many fucking apps. 

I've pretty much stopped eating all fast food, not for health reasons, but because of all the damn apps. To not spend an arm and a leg, you have to have one for each individual place. Pass.

Yes, I'm aware I sound like an old person. Get off my lawn!