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Post by thestranger on Sept 4, 2024 10:02:22 GMT -6
My appetite for drama is at an all time low. For me, in the past I would enjoy a good rumble and now I just don’t have the energy. I’m not saying it in a holier than thou way. More like a lazy and tired way. All my energy is spent sparring with my child about basic hygiene habits. I did see a lady ditch a shopping cart in the middle of the lot the other day and it brought back (somewhat fond) memories. I fight with mine about how long it takes to get ready in the mornings, nobody needs to sit brushing their hair for a solid 10 minutes, surely? |
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Post by angelashly on Sept 4, 2024 10:04:19 GMT -6
All my energy is spent sparring with my child about basic hygiene habits. I did see a lady ditch a shopping cart in the middle of the lot the other day and it brought back (somewhat fond) memories. I fight with mine about how long it takes to get ready in the mornings, nobody needs to sit brushing their hair for a solid 10 minutes, surely? My kid takes a good 20 minutes on her hair |
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maybe
Sapphire
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Post by maybe on Sept 4, 2024 10:05:35 GMT -6
I agree with your first paragraph for sure! There have been times I've typed and deleted cuz it just feels weird to share some things or ask questions about my older kids. I'm not sure they'd like it, even though no one knows me or us. So that has also changed for me in that aspect I guess for me it doesn't have an impact cause I long ago stopped sharing shit about my kids not due to their age (as none of you know them) but due to people throwing shit in my face or trying to crap on my kids later. This makes me really sad. I am sorry you experienced/felt that. |
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Post by thestranger on Sept 4, 2024 10:08:00 GMT -6
I fight with mine about how long it takes to get ready in the mornings, nobody needs to sit brushing their hair for a solid 10 minutes, surely? My kid takes a good 20 minutes on her hair Omg! That would drive me crazy lol |
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AmyG
Ruby
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Post by AmyG on Sept 4, 2024 10:17:24 GMT -6
Confession
I started reading elsewhere here like other topics (reading, motivation) and boards here like blinds because I'm curious about how people are doing and they'd drop randoms about their lives there instead of making a new thread. That's only sort of stalking right 🤔🤪😱
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AmyG
Ruby
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Post by AmyG on Sept 4, 2024 10:19:57 GMT -6
Kinda like we are heading scary mom direction with a long ass post on general one about motivation one about politics one about blinds.
And it feels a bit like nobody will answer if you make a separate thread. I know that's not true but feels kinda like if everybody is busy elsewhere if they are on here.
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FlightView
Sapphire
Resident Alaskan
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Post by FlightView on Sept 4, 2024 10:25:22 GMT -6
I just left HIH to lurk Reddit while reading this thread. The Alaska whatever you call it is interesting
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Post by angelashly on Sept 4, 2024 10:27:27 GMT -6
My kid takes a good 20 minutes on her hair Omg! That would drive me crazy lol Curly hair issues. Spray, conditioner, comb, put up, gel If she leaves it down it’s sometimes longer My thin straight hair if I just brush and put up sure less than 10 minutes but if I want to do anything with it longer than 10 |
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Post by thestranger on Sept 4, 2024 10:32:51 GMT -6
Omg! That would drive me crazy lol Curly hair issues. Spray, conditioner, comb, put up, gel If she leaves it down it’s sometimes longer My thin straight hair if I just brush and put up sure less than 10 minutes but if I want to do anything with it longer than 10 Oh, styling is passable for that kind of time, mi e is just staring in the mirror brushing hair that no longer has knots lol . |
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pobre
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Post by pobre on Sept 4, 2024 10:38:51 GMT -6
I feel like it's pretty obvious why a lot of us previously prolific posters have stepped way back, but I also don't feel like being invalidated so I'll just say it makes complete sense to me. If it doesn't, perhaps you weren't paying attention, IDK. But I deeply appreciate all the support I've been given in this community, and hope that despite my less than endearing tendencies I offered some as well. So I check in, and sometimes share but the difference is I immediately regret sharing bc I'm then holding my breath and I go scarce to avoid it. It's blatantly obvious to most of us and it's been said many times over many years lol. But yeah, same. |
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Post by angelashly on Sept 4, 2024 10:42:54 GMT -6
I feel like it's pretty obvious why a lot of us previously prolific posters have stepped way back, but I also don't feel like being invalidated so I'll just say it makes complete sense to me. If it doesn't, perhaps you weren't paying attention, IDK. But I deeply appreciate all the support I've been given in this community, and hope that despite my less than endearing tendencies I offered some as well. So I check in, and sometimes share but the difference is I immediately regret sharing bc I'm then holding my breath and I go scarce to avoid it. It's blatantly obvious to most of us and it's been said many times over many years lol. But yeah, same. My pet peeve now is the you are just too sensitive Maybe I am but still feels like people invalidating some feelings because it’s used so quickly |
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sterling
Global Moderator 
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Post by sterling on Sept 4, 2024 10:46:40 GMT -6
I feel like it's pretty obvious why a lot of us previously prolific posters have stepped way back, but I also don't feel like being invalidated so I'll just say it makes complete sense to me. If it doesn't, perhaps you weren't paying attention, IDK. But I deeply appreciate all the support I've been given in this community, and hope that despite my less than endearing tendencies I offered some as well. So I check in, and sometimes share but the difference is I immediately regret sharing bc I'm then holding my breath and I go scarce to avoid it. It's blatantly obvious to most of us and it's been said many times over many years lol. But yeah, same. +1. Add in a more stressful job for years now that hasn’t let me have as much time during the working hours to post. And when my life went into disarray I didn’t feel like this was a safe space to share that information (and was proven correct more than once). I miss a great many individuals though, we’ve been through a lot together ye old internet friends. |
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Post by angelashly on Sept 4, 2024 10:50:46 GMT -6
It's blatantly obvious to most of us and it's been said many times over many years lol. But yeah, same. +1. Add in a more stressful job for years now that hasn’t let me have as much time during the working hours to post. And when my life went into disarray I didn’t feel like this was a safe space to share that information (and was proven correct more than once). I miss a great many individuals though, we’ve been through a lot together ye old internet friends. See and I hate this. We are supposed to share life things and get support. There was a time when no one felt that way. I’m sorry to all who feel they can’t share their lives or feelings |
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sterling
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Post by sterling on Sept 4, 2024 10:52:24 GMT -6
+1. Add in a more stressful job for years now that hasn’t let me have as much time during the working hours to post. And when my life went into disarray I didn’t feel like this was a safe space to share that information (and was proven correct more than once). I miss a great many individuals though, we’ve been through a lot together ye old internet friends. See and I hate this. We are supposed to share life things and get support. There was a time when no one felt that way. I’m sorry to all who feel they can’t share their lives or feelings What’s funny is now that my life is in array I don’t feel like sharing any of that either, lol. It’ll come off as arrogant or bragging or something else, who knows. I’d rather just comment on politics and leave it there. |
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STP
Diamond
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Post by STP on Sept 4, 2024 10:59:10 GMT -6
I started on TB during my losses and the terrifying pregnancies that followed them. There was really no one in my life I could talk candidly to about that experience, and also get incredibly valuable advice that absolutely led me to my having my babies. My RE was a rec from a board friend. She's the reason I'm a mom.
Then I was the only one who had kids in my IRL circle, and I worked from home with 2u2. The adult conversation provided by Parenting was my outlet because otherwise it was just me and two little ones alone in a house. My BFFs don't live locally, and were working busy careers around the globe. I was lonely.
Real friendships formed, and continued off line, and that has been the true blessing. I cherish those people, and feel cherished in return, and that's where I put my energy these days. I feel like after 14 years of posting with a lot the same people, the people worth my time get the "real" me at first pass. If they don't, I'm not interested in having to asterisk it anymore.
I'm sober now, and that has also clued me in to a lot of my own habits and compulsions. And cemented what I'm willing to accept from people I interact with.
It is my guess that this is the same for others, with different variables plugged in but outcome the same.
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Post by angelashly on Sept 4, 2024 11:04:47 GMT -6
See and I hate this. We are supposed to share life things and get support. There was a time when no one felt that way. I’m sorry to all who feel they can’t share their lives or feelings What’s funny is now that my life is in array I don’t feel like sharing any of that either, lol. It’ll come off as arrogant or bragging or something else, who knows. I’d rather just comment on politics and leave it there. Ugh still sad about it but also totally get it. I wish it wasn’t like that because we have to much hate in the world so we should love everyone’s successes and support everyone when they need it |
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brux
Diamond
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Post by brux on Sept 4, 2024 11:05:31 GMT -6
I didn't realize it at the time, but I think the downward spiral started in earnest on March 13, 2020.
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Post by angelashly on Sept 4, 2024 11:05:43 GMT -6
I started on TB during my losses and the terrifying pregnancies that followed them. There was really no one in my life I could talk candidly to about that experience, and also get incredibly valuable advice that absolutely led me to my having my babies. My RE was a rec from a board friend. She's the reason I'm a mom. Then I was the only one who had kids in my IRL circle, and I worked from home with 2u2. The adult conversation provided by Parenting was my outlet because otherwise it was just me and two little ones alone in a house. My BFFs don't live locally, and were working busy careers around the globe. I was lonely. Real friendships formed, and continued off line, and that has been the true blessing. I cherish those people, and feel cherished in return, and that's where I put my energy these days. I feel like after 14 years of posting with a lot the same people, the people worth my time get the "real" me at first pass. If they don't, I'm not interested in having to asterisk it anymore. I'm sober now, and that has also clued me in to a lot of my own habits and compulsions. And cemented what I'm willing to accept from people I interact with. It is my guess that this is the same for others, with different variables plugged in but outcome the same. ❤️❤️❤️ |
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Post by angelashly on Sept 4, 2024 11:07:43 GMT -6
On low days I go back and read the thread pobre started for me on my wedding day or the PMs I got when my FIL passed. I say that to say I get it STP |
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STP
Diamond
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Post by STP on Sept 4, 2024 11:09:27 GMT -6
On low days I go back and read the thread pobre started for me on my wedding day or the PMs I got when my FIL passed. I say that to say I get it STP This board rallied to find every Frank Monster left on planet Earth so my little boy has his friend. I do hope everyone knows that overall, this is an incredible group of people and the slow down isn't bc spending time with you wasn't "worth" it or anything like that. To a large degree, I think this is just the life cycle of a community like this. I was 28 when I started. I'm 42 now. That's just a whole new human, and so are many of the original posters. |
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sterling
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Post by sterling on Sept 4, 2024 11:09:41 GMT -6
I didn't realize it at the time, but I think the downward spiral started in earnest on March 13, 2020. Same for me, message board. Same. |
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brux
Diamond
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Post by brux on Sept 4, 2024 11:10:43 GMT -6
I didn't realize it at the time, but I think the downward spiral started in earnest on March 13, 2020. Same for me, message board. Same. omg lol. |
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maybe
Sapphire
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Post by maybe on Sept 4, 2024 11:12:50 GMT -6
I didn't realize it at the time, but I think the downward spiral started in earnest on March 13, 2020. Pls remind us if that was a key COVID lockdown date or was that when some series of posts/convos set it off. I'm old now. I can't remember but I am guessing that it was pent up COVID stuff plus a thread/series of threads that started the spiral. |
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Post by angelashly on Sept 4, 2024 11:14:41 GMT -6
I didn't realize it at the time, but I think the downward spiral started in earnest on March 13, 2020. Pls remind us if that was a key COVID lockdown date or was that when some series of posts/convos set it off. I'm old now. I can't remember but I am guessing that it was pent up COVID stuff plus a thread/series of threads that started the spiral. That was Covid shut down here in my area I do think Covid brought out a lot of judgement posts and was a start. Not to mention we were just stir crazy and anxious etc. |
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brux
Diamond
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Post by brux on Sept 4, 2024 11:15:27 GMT -6
I didn't realize it at the time, but I think the downward spiral started in earnest on March 13, 2020. Pls remind us if that was a key COVID lockdown date or was that when some series of posts/convos set it off. I'm old now. I can't remember but I am guessing that it was pent up COVID stuff plus a thread/series of threads that started the spiral. It was the day you didn’t return a shopping cart, Maybe. |
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brux
Diamond
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Post by brux on Sept 4, 2024 11:19:53 GMT -6
It was Covid. I think a lot of people were anxious and stressed for months on end. It brought out judgement in all directions, which is understandable to me in hindsight, but likely caused festering wounds even today. Also, the disruption to my daily work and child care life broke some of my reliance on this place as a source of entertainment and time wasting. And then, like STP said, I’m basically a whole human older and wiser than I was when I started here 12 years ago. |
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origami
Amethyst
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Post by origami on Sept 4, 2024 12:57:53 GMT -6
It was Covid. I think a lot of people were anxious and stressed for months on end. It brought out judgement in all directions, which is understandable to me in hindsight, but likely caused festering wounds even today. Also, the disruption to my daily work and child care life broke some of my reliance on this place as a source of entertainment and time wasting. And then, like STP said, I’m basically a whole human older and wiser than I was when I started here 12 years ago. This is probably it for me too. Aside from the upheaval it just wasn’t really fun anymore. My bucket of fucks began to run empty and I too am a totally different version than I was 12 years ago. Also, I still am very active on politics but don’t need the outlet for the minutia like I once did. Even the more entertaining battles of yore got tiresome. |
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Post by lucilleaustero on Sept 4, 2024 14:05:38 GMT -6
I had this conversation with two former frequent posters. They both said a variation of the same thing. That they were deleting more comments than they actually posted out of concern on how the comments would be perceived. I think there are probably a lot of posters that just don't have the fight in them.
For me, my year of yes changed me dramatically. Prior to that I would have said that my true self was a introvert and that I had spent most of my life playing at being a very social person. My year of yes made me realize that I was probably a little depressed during my self imposed exile from my previous social life. My free hours are now filled up with a lot of social engagements and all my kid's activities and my work has gotten busier. I just don't have as much time. I do pop on every few days, but I definitely don't post to the same degree that I did.
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sterling
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Post by sterling on Sept 4, 2024 14:15:22 GMT -6
It was Covid. I think a lot of people were anxious and stressed for months on end. It brought out judgement in all directions, which is understandable to me in hindsight, but likely caused festering wounds even today. Also, the disruption to my daily work and child care life broke some of my reliance on this place as a source of entertainment and time wasting. And then, like STP said, I’m basically a whole human older and wiser than I was when I started here 12 years ago. Maybe it was just the Ohio COVID thread that ruined everything. 😂😈 |
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bobyn
Diamond
local baby-making menace
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Post by bobyn on Sept 4, 2024 14:20:23 GMT -6
It was Covid. I think a lot of people were anxious and stressed for months on end. It brought out judgement in all directions, which is understandable to me in hindsight, but likely caused festering wounds even today. Also, the disruption to my daily work and child care life broke some of my reliance on this place as a source of entertainment and time wasting. And then, like STP said, I’m basically a whole human older and wiser than I was when I started here 12 years ago. Maybe it was just the Ohio COVID thread that ruined everything. 😂😈 Ohio ruins everything. |
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