leahcar
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Post by leahcar on May 3, 2023 10:17:30 GMT -6
byjove, I feel like that can be dog-whistle code, but sounds like that may not be the case for these particular families. I honestly feel like life has been "slower" for us since we moved to a bigger city. Delivery for basically anything you could want is life-changing for a busy family. Even Amazon was dicey on 2-day delivery, let alone groceries or Target having delivery options, when we lived in a more rural area. Like AmyG mentioned - just maintaining our property was a big job when we had more land. And it's not like we were on a farm or anything- but an acre+ is a LOT of work. To your point- we guard our free time though and limit the # of kid activities. Since my kids can walk down the street and play with friends- that also frees me up from both drives to friends/parks and most planned playdates. My youngest one makes most of her own social calendar skipping from one house to another. I might feel differently if I had a long commute. But as a WAH employee in both a rural area and now a bigger metro- day-to-day life has been much slower for me in a metro.
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Post by SweetPotato on May 3, 2023 10:45:11 GMT -6
I’ve heard a family say they wanted a “slower” life as less of a keeping up with the joneses kind of thing.
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elle
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Post by elle on May 3, 2023 11:10:51 GMT -6
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willow
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Post by willow on May 3, 2023 11:18:05 GMT -6
byjove I'm not really sure either. There are a lot of things that MN does well for sure but they aren't necessarily related to a "slower pace". At least not if you live in the suburbs or the city. I mean, any time I drive in either city, I'm reminded why I prefer the suburbs but honestly its mostly just due to driving and road space. I have lived in both Mpls and St Paul at various times in my life and I don't feel my life was any more 'fast' paced than my life now. If they are moving to an exurb then maybe I could see it since things are more rural and not as developed yet. But I agree that the phrase is strange if they aren't making any changes to their lifestyles or jobs. Yeah, she definitely said suburb. And they picked there because the dad can do his same job at this other corporate hub. I don't get it! Just say you don't like the area if you don't, you know? Is it really LowerCOL? Because I could get that, but with my example 1 that's not really true. I'm guessing MSP is a little less costly than here, but probably not a ton. I'm positive that we have a lower COL, but by how much, I'm not sure. If they have young kids though, that won't help them. MN is one of the top 3 or 4 most expensive places in the country for childcare.
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byjove
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Post by byjove on May 3, 2023 11:24:11 GMT -6
I’ve heard a family say they wanted a “slower” life as less of a keeping up with the joneses kind of thing. But isn't this a choice you make anywhere? Is this finding Joneses you like better? I think I've lost the plot.
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Post by SweetPotato on May 3, 2023 11:29:21 GMT -6
I’ve heard a family say they wanted a “slower” life as less of a keeping up with the joneses kind of thing. But isn't this a choice you make anywhere? Is this finding Joneses you like better? I think I've lost the plot. I don’t think that mentality is the same everywhere. This person was wanting to move out of Dallas which is a very different vibe even than Houston.
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Post by stupidsexyflanders on May 3, 2023 11:40:09 GMT -6
The TX bill about bleeding stations was introduced by a Democrat which makes me think some of the language maybe was unintentional? But also I don’t know why I’m giving ANY politician the benefit of the doubt 🤨 It was introduced as a “well if we can’t legislate guns then we might as well legislate this to mitigate damage” type of bill. But fuck that.
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Post by stupidsexyflanders on May 3, 2023 11:50:14 GMT -6
I wonder what happens if you keep you kid home from school when those trainings take place. Because I would. I would too. Fuck that. As a teacher though? God, I feel like I need that training since nothing is ever going to get fucking fixed when it comes to school shootings. Might as well be prepared for the inevitable. m If you or anyone is interested, you can find a free class near you at stopthebleed.org It’s designed for non-medical people and the training doesn’t have graphic images.
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kbw
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Post by kbw on May 3, 2023 11:52:02 GMT -6
I would 100% move to a suburb compared to being so rural. We spend so much time driving to everything . It’s a hour a night drive just for swim practice 4 nights a week for Ds1. But my H is dead set against it and both boys have said they refuse to leave their school.
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starbuck
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Post by starbuck on May 3, 2023 11:54:00 GMT -6
MH is in the area and on lock down. I am really fucking tired of guns. Between the kids' school and this I am...I don't know y'all.
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Post by SweetPotato on May 3, 2023 11:58:35 GMT -6
I’m sorry starbuck. I hope he stays safe and it’s not too traumatic. This shit is endless
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dc2london
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Post by dc2london on May 3, 2023 12:01:03 GMT -6
Ugh. You just hate to think the boy saw the news about something in the US and it gave him the idea I read that story and, this is awful, but my first thought was, thank God he didn't have an AR
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byjove
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Post by byjove on May 3, 2023 12:02:15 GMT -6
Ugh. You just hate to think the boy saw the news about something in the US and it gave him the idea I read that story and, this is awful, but my first thought was, thank God he didn't have an AR It was one of the first things I looked for too.
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elle
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Post by elle on May 3, 2023 12:02:36 GMT -6
That is abhorrent. More about the incident below. (No one here will be surprised that the choker is white and the victim black.)
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dc2london
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Post by dc2london on May 3, 2023 12:07:38 GMT -6
MH is in the area and on lock down. I am really fucking tired of guns. Between the kids' school and this I am...I don't know y'all. Jesus friend, I'm so sorry. You need a break!
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dc2london
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Post by dc2london on May 3, 2023 12:09:59 GMT -6
And it's WSJ saying it
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cnf
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Post by cnf on May 3, 2023 12:20:59 GMT -6
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cnf
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Post by cnf on May 3, 2023 12:22:26 GMT -6
I would too. Fuck that. As a teacher though? God, I feel like I need that training since nothing is ever going to get fucking fixed when it comes to school shootings. Might as well be prepared for the inevitable. m If you or anyone is interested, you can find a free class near you at stopthebleed.org It’s designed for non-medical people and the training doesn’t have graphic images. I'm really not interested, but as a teacher I feel like maybe I should get this training. Maybe it should be a PD. It'd be more useful than a lot of the PD we sit through.
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Post by blurnette989 on May 3, 2023 12:29:42 GMT -6
byjove i think a lot of people want change and a slower pace of life sounds good but they have no idea how to actually achieve it and we are pretty well trained to be such active consumers. Like i have friends who've moved to Portugal and don't understand why they don't live as cheaply or calmly as the Portuguêse. It's because they are living like Americans in Portugal. Not adopting Portuguese ways. They still pick big houses, buy from Amazon, grocery like Americans. So they want something different but it's really hard to actually change. This is my best guess because I hear this from people coming to Portugal too.
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beepers
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Post by beepers on May 3, 2023 12:49:30 GMT -6
MH has also been involved with a stop the bleed campaign. It was held at a high school but the event was actually for the community. Similar to stupidsexyflanders both MH and I work/have worked in that arena for a long time. I’m not working now from actual PTSD from it. I’ll never go back to that type of setting. MH thrives in that environment, he’s very very good at his job. But also currently in therapy for prior events. My 2nd grader has anxiety over FIRE DRILLS. Hard stop to teaching him trauma field care.
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Post by oreobitsy on May 3, 2023 12:54:45 GMT -6
If slower pace of life means being able to enjoy those MN lakes and float on floaties for hours, count me in.
I moved from city to burb and life is definitely slow-ish comparatively. But that’s also us making choices to cut back on activities and enjoy the outdoors more. I agree changing habits is the key to getting a slower pace.
Honestly, that person sounds maybe that they are less thrilled with the political landscape where you are. “Too political” is my parents’ way of disagreeing with liberal politics but not coming out and admitting they are Republicans.
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beepers
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Post by beepers on May 3, 2023 12:55:30 GMT -6
byjove maybe those people just don’t know how to “slow down”? Or it means something different to them. For my family we moved from a large metro suburb where Mh and I took turns working 7 on/7off. Traffic was always awful and eventhough amenities were close it still was draining at times. Because of work and such, we decided to move. Our area now is “quaint”. It’s still a 30 min drive to the bigger city but that’s highway speeds and not going 35 mph. So it feels better to my brain 😂 our little town area is more touristy and very seasonal. We joke about “rush hour” here. Our home here is not cheaper but it’s about the same COL otherwise. The biggest difference is that I no longer work outside the home (except for occasional volunteer work) overall it feels very different here. It does feel slower (and yes things get done more slowly. Why the heck do so many places close at 2 pm?!?!?!) but I think the biggest help is that we went to one income. Obviously we understand it’s very privileged and we made other sacrifices to make that happen (public vs private school etc)
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Post by SweetPotato on May 3, 2023 12:59:55 GMT -6
I moved from a suburb back into the city specifically because the suburbs were too slow for me lol.
So I get it. But don’t want it.
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willow
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Post by willow on May 3, 2023 13:26:21 GMT -6
And, at least here, and I'm sure its this way elsewhere, "suburb" can represent wildly different towns with the same label. I live in an area that is slowly becoming more and more 'city adjacent' based on population and business growth. I've noticed big differences in how things around here look now than when I was a kid (I returned to the same area that I grew up in). If I go 20 min north on the highway where my MIL lives, it's very different.
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elle
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Post by elle on May 3, 2023 13:28:05 GMT -6
MH is in the area and on lock down. I am really fucking tired of guns. Between the kids' school and this I am...I don't know y'all. I'm so sorry.
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athn64
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Post by athn64 on May 3, 2023 13:35:15 GMT -6
Actually related to that, I have something on my mind lately that maybe you can shed light on, specifically the phrase "a slower pace in life." What exactly does that mean? We have friends that recently moved to rural MD to start a farm, one of the reasons cited being a slower pace in life. They are both still working their full time DC area jobs remotely and now also have a 12 acre farm they are starting up, and the mom says things are very stressful right now. The property they bought was about the cost of the house they sold in our area. Our friends moving to MN also cited the same thing, but they have their 4th grade daughter in eleventy after school activities- so if that stays the same I'm not sure how life slows down. The mom also cited wanting to get away from the politics of the area, which surprised me a bit as well because honestly aside from here and very specific friends, politics is not something that I usually end up talking about amongst friends- granted I am not a close friend (our daughters are friends), but regardless it surprised me. I don't get the vibe that they are closet Trumpers or anything. By definition of a slower pace in life, I would think my family, staying in the area, leads the slowest of these scenarios. Is this all code for something I don't know? Sounds like they are lying to themselves. A lot of people think being more rural means you aren't as fast paced. It really just means you have to drive a lot farther to do things.
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trueblue
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Post by trueblue on May 3, 2023 13:44:16 GMT -6
Re: slower pace of life. We moved from the northeast where everything was go, Go, GO! to the southeast which has a much chiller vibe, like it’s verboten to honk at a car that doesn’t go as soon as the light turns green.
Our lives are still as busy (or busier) as they were up north but the background rat race noise and associated stress is largely gone and our attitudes adjusted accordingly.
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mc13
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Post by mc13 on May 3, 2023 14:27:44 GMT -6
Re: slower pace of life. We moved from the northeast where everything was go, Go, GO! to the southeast which has a much chiller vibe, like it’s verboten to honk at a car that doesn’t go as soon as the light turns green. Our lives are still as busy (or busier) as they were up north but the background rat race noise and associated stress is largely gone and our attitudes adjusted accordingly. Same for us! We moved from a NYC suburb to upstate NY about 2.5 years ago. At our old house, the houses were so close, we barely had a yard, most streets were “busy” even in the suburb, couldn’t go anywhere after 3pm because of traffic. Definitely a slower pace of life overall here. MH was always so stressed commuting into the city, leaving at 7am to return at 7/8pm. Where we live now is much calmer and we’re so much happier. I even regularly joke about my husband’s “alter ego” aka the much happier version of himself that lives here being so easy breezy. And in turn, making the rest of us more easy breezy too.
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Post by oreobitsy on May 3, 2023 14:32:09 GMT -6
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dc2london
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Post by dc2london on May 3, 2023 14:57:59 GMT -6
MH has also been involved with a stop the bleed campaign. It was held at a high school but the event was actually for the community. Similar to stupidsexyflanders both MH and I work/have worked in that arena for a long time. I’m not working now from actual PTSD from it. I’ll never go back to that type of setting. MH thrives in that environment, he’s very very good at his job. But also currently in therapy for prior events. My 2nd grader has anxiety over FIRE DRILLS. Hard stop to teaching him trauma field care. We live the fire drill anxiety life over here too. Only 2 more!
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