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Post by angelashly on Jan 4, 2023 11:52:30 GMT -6
Yes. I will say this was my focus when dealing personally. It wasn’t about my hurt it was about what was done to my h and dd. I read something about their series and their “body language” and Meghan taking over the talking and well she should it happened to her because of who she was. It didn’t happen to him personally Yep. This was the cause of a memorable blow up over on GD, but being married to a POC does not make you a POC by proxy. You need to be their support, but it's not your lived experience. You cannot speak for or as a POC. Yep For the record because I’m not sure I talked about it here or on another board but my mom was dating a straight up racist. My h is the most laid back person when he knows you and can joke etc. so when he has to pull you aside to ask if you are racist spoiler alert you are. Our very first time meeting him was on Christmas. I gave my mom a family picture from the wedding he looked at it and said (joking but still) it’s a nice picture except there is a black guy in the photo. Again I know that I he may have saw him joking with my stepdad but he had known him 14 years at that point. We then found out months later when my aunt was visiting that he was using the n word very liberally while in the car with her and my mom. My mom of course said nothing even when my aunt said something. Apparently he can’t be racist because he has black family members BINGO So more happened after I confronted my mom when I found out and asked her how she could be with someone who clearly didn’t respect my h, her “son” as she likes to call him while being Facebook mom and grandma and her granddaughter. First it was he didn’t say it but then turned into he wasn’t saying it to them and he loved them and how intelligent dd was and how great of an aunt I was etc. My mom is the epitome of being able to turn a blind eye because it isn’t happening to her no matter how much I’ve had to tell her we have personally encountered just to get her to try and see the wrong in it all when I shouldn’t have to do that So when I say I 100% get Harry I mean it, BUT I also do things more so than talk these days when it comes to her. Continuing to say they same things to her over and over weren’t going to make her see it |
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Post by miawallace on Jan 4, 2023 12:32:02 GMT -6
Yes. I will say this was my focus when dealing personally. It wasn’t about my hurt it was about what was done to my h and dd. I read something about their series and their “body language” and Meghan taking over the talking and well she should it happened to her because of who she was. It didn’t happen to him personally Yep. This was the cause of a memorable blow up over on GD, but being married to a POC does not make you a POC by proxy. You need to be their support, but it's not your lived experience. You cannot speak for or as a POC. you’re really great with words. But your point is exactly how I feel with Harry and actually a lot of people who have a bipoc partner. Racial advocacy can easily cross into a very problematic territory. The problem for me is when the white person starts centering themselves bc of that adjacency. It’s squicks me out sometimes, especially if it’s happening for the white gaze. The optics of it makes poc go hmmmm. |
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STP
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Post by STP on Jan 4, 2023 12:48:56 GMT -6
Yep. This was the cause of a memorable blow up over on GD, but being married to a POC does not make you a POC by proxy. You need to be their support, but it's not your lived experience. You cannot speak for or as a POC. you’re really great with words. But your point is exactly how I feel with Harry and actually a lot of people who have a bipoc partner. Racial advocacy can easily cross into a very problematic territory. The problem for me is when the white person starts centering themselves bc of that adjacency. It’s squicks me out sometimes, especially if it’s happening for the white gaze. The optics of it makes poc go hmmmm. Which is why outlining how I, a white woman, have diversified my media felt like a don’t even go there. People know you or don’t, but this can’t be about proving how awesome you are. Or how you’ve learned, benefited, are better now. Neat. Shush. Harry needs a bit of that memo. To me. |
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Post by miawallace on Jan 4, 2023 13:04:13 GMT -6
you’re really great with words. But your point is exactly how I feel with Harry and actually a lot of people who have a bipoc partner. Racial advocacy can easily cross into a very problematic territory. The problem for me is when the white person starts centering themselves bc of that adjacency. It’s squicks me out sometimes, especially if it’s happening for the white gaze. The optics of it makes poc go hmmmm. Which is why outlining how I, a white woman, have diversified my media felt like a don’t even go there. People know you or don’t, but this can’t be about proving how awesome you are. Or how you’ve learned, benefited, are better now. Neat. Shush. Harry needs a bit of that memo. To me. The conversation with the internet was so odd. I’m going to be honest, those types of posts from white peoples come across like trying to get brownie points from the bipoc crowd and virtue signaling for the white crowd. I believe Harry loves his wife and kids. I think he’s realizing a lot of things his privileged upbringing didn’t allow him to see. I also think what’s happening is very strategic with the current times and racial awareness. The world would eat him alive if he didn’t at the very minimum address it. I feel like white men get praised for bare minimum though. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ |
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Post by STP on Jan 4, 2023 13:11:41 GMT -6
Which is why outlining how I, a white woman, have diversified my media felt like a don’t even go there. People know you or don’t, but this can’t be about proving how awesome you are. Or how you’ve learned, benefited, are better now. Neat. Shush. Harry needs a bit of that memo. To me. The conversation with the internet was so odd. I’m going to be honest, those types of posts from white peoples come across like trying to get brownie points from the bipoc crowd and virtue signaling for the white crowd. I believe Harry loves his wife and kids. I think he’s realizing a lot of things his privileged upbringing didn’t allow him to see. I also think what’s happening is very strategic with the current times and racial awareness. The world would eat him alive if he didn’t at the very minimum address it. I feel like white men get praised for bare minimum though. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Consistently and always. The bar is so low. |
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Ls2012
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Post by Ls2012 on Jan 4, 2023 13:25:57 GMT -6
Harry centers himself a lot and it annoys me. Even in less important ways, like when he's poking his head in the background of a zoom Meghan is doing. It's not about you, Harry. Let Meghan do her shit!
The nuance of speaking in support of vs speaking as/ for is lost on a lot of people. Harry doesn't seem to have gotten this yet.
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Post by angelashly on Jan 4, 2023 13:31:40 GMT -6
Yep. This was the cause of a memorable blow up over on GD, but being married to a POC does not make you a POC by proxy. You need to be their support, but it's not your lived experience. You cannot speak for or as a POC. you’re really great with words. But your point is exactly how I feel with Harry and actually a lot of people who have a bipoc partner. Racial advocacy can easily cross into a very problematic territory. The problem for me is when the white person starts centering themselves bc of that adjacency. It’s squicks me out sometimes, especially if it’s happening for the white gaze. The optics of it makes poc go hmmmm. This is why I really hope I don’t come off a way. I’m going to be working on myself this year |
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Post by miawallace on Jan 4, 2023 13:45:19 GMT -6
you’re really great with words. But your point is exactly how I feel with Harry and actually a lot of people who have a bipoc partner. Racial advocacy can easily cross into a very problematic territory. The problem for me is when the white person starts centering themselves bc of that adjacency. It’s squicks me out sometimes, especially if it’s happening for the white gaze. The optics of it makes poc go hmmmm. This is why I really hope I don’t come off a way. I’m going to be working on myself this year I’ll be honest with you, I sometimes want to pull you back a bit bc it does cross over into centering. I’ve been posting for a while with you so I get your intent though. just something to keep a look out for because it can get problematic if we don’t reign it in. It’s hard to find that line bc you are the parent and partner. But at the end of the day, this is not your actual lived experiences so it can get squeaky. |
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sifl
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Post by sifl on Jan 4, 2023 14:10:02 GMT -6
Which is why outlining how I, a white woman, have diversified my media felt like a don’t even go there. People know you or don’t, but this can’t be about proving how awesome you are. Or how you’ve learned, benefited, are better now. Neat. Shush. Harry needs a bit of that memo. To me. The conversation with the internet was so odd. I’m going to be honest, those types of posts from white peoples come across like trying to get brownie points from the bipoc crowd and virtue signaling for the white crowd. I believe Harry loves his wife and kids. I think he’s realizing a lot of things his privileged upbringing didn’t allow him to see. I also think what’s happening is very strategic with the current times and racial awareness. The world would eat him alive if he didn’t at the very minimum address it. I feel like white men get praised for bare minimum though. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I’m sorry if I came across as virtue signaling or looking for brownie points. I promise I’m not but I hear your point. The original comment from beesquared got me thinking and I was responding to that. For the record my feed is crochet, plants, and Antifa 🙃 |
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sifl
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Post by sifl on Jan 4, 2023 14:11:54 GMT -6
And @stp you are breaking our agreement. Shush.
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Post by angelashly on Jan 4, 2023 14:20:50 GMT -6
This is why I really hope I don’t come off a way. I’m going to be working on myself this year I’ll be honest with you, I sometimes want to pull you back a bit bc it does cross over into centering. I’ve been posting for a while with you so I get your intent though. just something to keep a look out for because it can get problematic if we don’t rein it in. It’s hard to find that line bc you are the parent and partner. But at the end of the day, this is not your actual lived experiences so it can get squeaky. I appreciate that |
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STP
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Post by STP on Jan 4, 2023 14:35:09 GMT -6
YKW, never mind. I know it's seen and new year, new energy.
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Eagles
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Post by Eagles on Jan 4, 2023 14:51:22 GMT -6
I’ll be honest with you, I sometimes want to pull you back a bit bc it does cross over into centering. I’ve been posting for a while with you so I get your intent though. just something to keep a look out for because it can get problematic if we don’t rein it in. It’s hard to find that line bc you are the parent and partner. But at the end of the day, this is not your actual lived experiences so it can get squeaky. I appreciate that I think it's also hard for you to find that line because we always say "well you handle your family and let your spouse handle theirs." And you're trying to do that while taking your cues from your H, who is a Black man affected by microaggressions and open racism. You're protective of him and of your child, as you should be, but white women also need to center those who live this. And I say that as a WW who is not in your position. All we can do is our best and keep growing and learning. |
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Post by angelashly on Jan 4, 2023 15:00:49 GMT -6
I think it's also hard for you to find that line because we always say "well you handle your family and let your spouse handle theirs." And you're trying to do that while taking your cues from your H, who is a Black man affected by microaggressions and open racism. You're protective of him and of your child, as you should be, but white women also need to center those who live this. And I say that as a WW who is not in your position. All we can do is our best and keep growing and learning. I will say again at home I 100% follow his lead on things which I think Harry should do. I think here I find myself not having that filter and should |
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sifl
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Post by sifl on Jan 4, 2023 15:30:42 GMT -6
I agree Harry centers himself a lot and his trauma has commingled with Meghan’s. On that front I can definitely see being tired of hearing from him.
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Eagles
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Post by Eagles on Jan 4, 2023 17:27:54 GMT -6
I think it's also hard for you to find that line because we always say "well you handle your family and let your spouse handle theirs." And you're trying to do that while taking your cues from your H, who is a Black man affected by microaggressions and open racism. You're protective of him and of your child, as you should be, but white women also need to center those who live this. And I say that as a WW who is not in your position. All we can do is our best and keep growing and learning. I will say again at home I 100% follow his lead on things which I think Harry should do. I think here I find myself not having that filter and should You're doing amazing, sweetie. 😘 |
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Post by beesquared on Jan 4, 2023 17:45:04 GMT -6
I heard an interesting point today that if Harry and Meghan don’t speak for themselves directly, what gets put down about them in history is whatever the media spin/narrative was with no greater context. We all know how that can be manipulated and who gets to decide how we perceive what happened is largely problematic. Setting things straight (from their point of view) in real-ish time is important.
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richard
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Post by richard on Jan 4, 2023 18:23:37 GMT -6
Oh my
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richard
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Post by richard on Jan 4, 2023 18:26:52 GMT -6
That's fucked.
But also "Willy" and "Harold" are sending me. Are these family nicknames? What is happening?
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STP
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Post by STP on Jan 4, 2023 18:45:59 GMT -6
I heard an interesting point today that if Harry and Meghan don’t speak for themselves directly, what gets put down about them in history is whatever the media spin/narrative was with no greater context. We all know how that can be manipulated and who gets to decide how we perceive what happened is largely problematic. Setting things straight (from their point of view) in real-ish time is important. No one is suggesting they aren’t allowed to tell their story. |
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newspapers
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Post by newspapers on Jan 4, 2023 18:50:22 GMT -6
Damn. Hopefully they didn't spill all the tea in the promos. I just might read this book.
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Post by beesquared on Jan 4, 2023 18:51:26 GMT -6
I heard an interesting point today that if Harry and Meghan don’t speak for themselves directly, what gets put down about them in history is whatever the media spin/narrative was with no greater context. We all know how that can be manipulated and who gets to decide how we perceive what happened is largely problematic. Setting things straight (from their point of view) in real-ish time is important. No one is suggesting they aren’t allowed to tell their story. I never said they were. |
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Post by beesquared on Jan 4, 2023 18:52:34 GMT -6
Welp, I was one the fence about wanting to read Spare before this article came out. I’ll be reading it now. Maybe I’ll get the audio version? Harry narrates it, I think.
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Ls2012
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Post by Ls2012 on Jan 4, 2023 18:52:55 GMT -6
I heard an interesting point today that if Harry and Meghan don’t speak for themselves directly, what gets put down about them in history is whatever the media spin/narrative was with no greater context. We all know how that can be manipulated and who gets to decide how we perceive what happened is largely problematic. Setting things straight (from their point of view) in real-ish time is important. I agree. If anyone should be in control of their narrative, it should be them. I'm not entirely convinced there's that much more to say, though that Guardian tweet richard posted sure has me curious! |
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Post by pitchslap on Jan 4, 2023 18:59:59 GMT -6
That's fucked. But also "Willy" and "Harold" are sending me. Are these family nicknames? What is happening? I thought it was known his nickname is Big Willy. After some pants outlining came to light, or something like that. |
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richard
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Post by richard on Jan 4, 2023 19:01:59 GMT -6
That's fucked. But also "Willy" and "Harold" are sending me. Are these family nicknames? What is happening? I thought it was known his nickname is Big Willy. After some pants outlining came to light, or something like that. "Big Willy, I can’t speak to you when you’re like this.” Like what? I'm dying laughing. |
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Post by miawallace on Jan 4, 2023 19:04:43 GMT -6
Celebrities they have anger issues just like the rest of us.  |
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RajahMD
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Post by RajahMD on Jan 4, 2023 19:04:47 GMT -6
Did anyone else pre-order the book? We should do a book club.
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Post by miawallace on Jan 4, 2023 19:18:10 GMT -6
I just want to compare the fight to the Kim and Kourtney one.
Yes, I know I’m immature.
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Post by coffeecake on Jan 4, 2023 19:21:12 GMT -6
I wasn’t going to read it, but definitely am now. Will sounds like to absolute worst. It sucks. I hope when this is all done H and M can figure out what exactly they want to do and live their best life. Their kids are so much better off, but I know it sucks to think about how to explain why they don’t have a relationship with their extended family. It’s going to be even harder given who Harry’s family is, too.
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