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Post by charlotte on Feb 24, 2022 7:41:18 GMT -6
How are you, really? Vent, rant, cry, etc. Let it all out here if you wish.
I couldn’t find our last mental health thread so here’s a new one.
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Post by charlotte on Feb 24, 2022 7:42:57 GMT -6
I can feel myself headed for a menty-b. But I don’t have *time* to break down. So I just keep stuffing it down repeatedly. Blah.
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Post by rhymeswithdisco on Feb 24, 2022 7:50:44 GMT -6
I am either really good, or not good at all. There is no in between for me right now.
I am still so incredibly angry at my exH about his continued jackassery.
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Post by pbandj714 on Feb 24, 2022 9:37:44 GMT -6
I'm existing for the most part. Focus at work is a struggle plus all the other day to day things. My house is a perpetual disaster. I'm consistently low on patience. Nothing really feels fulfilling but what time would I have to find or do anything fulfilling anyway, you know?
Had a REALLY great day on Monday. The weather was perfect, sunny and mid 50s, so I took the kids to the zoo. It turned out to be a free admission day, so it was insanely packed, which usually would have driven me to a panic but damnit that Vitamin D had me feeling good. We just stuck with the outdoor exhibits. It was such a great day, I couldn't stop thinking about it even all day Tuesday while it rained and flooded our front yard.
But anyway, I'm now really longing for spring, hoping it will help me out of my funk. My sister found out today that they finally got an accepted offer on a house 20 min from me. They've lived 10 h away for 4 years so I am giddy. Spring will bring warmth and sun and family, hooray!
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milano
Emerald
Posts: 10,914 Likes: 36,993
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Post by milano on Feb 24, 2022 9:38:27 GMT -6
Snip
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Post by pbandj714 on Feb 24, 2022 9:47:17 GMT -6
I'm so sorry for all of your losses milano. That is a lot in such a short time. I'll be thinking of your families. So sorry YH's job wasn't what he hoped but that's fantastic that he was able to gtfo and find a better fit without another move!
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mc13
Sapphire
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Post by mc13 on Feb 24, 2022 9:59:22 GMT -6
Add me to the “all over the place” crowd. The girls are wonderful. T is so happy in his career and I’m so happy living here and with my new contractor business doing well.
But also having some big feelings. Both sad and relief.
***poof**
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mc13
Sapphire
Posts: 3,414 Likes: 12,121
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Post by mc13 on Feb 24, 2022 9:59:58 GMT -6
Oh milano. I’m so sorry for your loss and the job not being what was expected. It’s all so hard.
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Post by pbandj714 on Feb 24, 2022 10:13:12 GMT -6
Oh mc13, big hugs to you. I'm so sorry for your loss. The wild mix of emotions are completely understandable.
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Post by charlotte on Feb 24, 2022 10:14:56 GMT -6
milano your grandmother sounds like an amazing lady. mc13 I’m so sorry about that. Why a whirlwind of emotions. 💜
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rugger
Amethyst
Posts: 5,768 Likes: 14,536
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Post by rugger on Feb 24, 2022 11:02:41 GMT -6
I'm doing OK. Business is really slow right now, which means I'm home more, which means S gets his panties in a twist if the house isn't up to his standards or feels like I'm not doing enough around the house with the time that I'm home. We just do things differently so it causes strife with expectations.
And the housing market is bullsh*t right now, so we're considering looking for something with way less yard space than we're truly wanting. I can't afford to move to a completely different part of the State b/c that means starting my business from scratch all over again. So we need to stay in this area, but it's like a void on real estate maps. There's just not a lot of movement and it's so frustrating.
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tj
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Post by tj on Feb 24, 2022 11:41:05 GMT -6
milano and mc13 I’m sorry for your losses, and all of the complicated feelings attached. rhymeswithdisco, charlotte, pbandj714 I’m sorry for your struggles. Life is such bullshit sometimes. rugger I hate this difficulty for you guys. I hope you find just the right balance. Would it help if yh gave you a specific area of the house that bothers him the most? If mh comes home and the dishes aren’t done, he gets frustrated. Cleaning the kitchen before he comes home makes the biggest impact for him, bc it is the first room he sees and sets the tone for walking in the door. Whereas for me, if I walk in the door and the floor is cluttered with toys and shoes and a paper towel the dog chewed up, that is my thing that makes me immediately think “this place is a wreck” even if the kitchen is spotless.
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tj
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Posts: 9,912 Likes: 24,842
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Post by tj on Feb 24, 2022 11:49:02 GMT -6
I am doing mostly well right now. Apparently mh had a CTJ talk with himself after the shitshow of our Christmas break. And he suddenly decided to consciously work on making our home life happy rather than consciously choosing to nitpick and hate on every aspect of every day. Obviously overall this is fantastic and a major improvement on every aspect of our home life. However it also irks the hell out of me, bc I worked so hard and tried so hard and cried so much the past year over what *I* was doing wrong that was making our lives so miserable, how *I* could make our marriage better, why *I* was struggling so hard. And he kept telling me that *I* was the one who was unhappy and *I* was the one who needed help/to change. But I am choosing to move past the frustration and focus on the positive and appreciate that he is making positive changes and enjoy how much better things feel right now. Life is just so much easier to navigate without that black cloud of marital issues hovering over every expect of every problem. Now I can focus more on how much I hate myself and my body and my hair instead of worrying how my body, face, and hair are affecting my marriage. lol?
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milano
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Post by milano on Feb 24, 2022 12:18:29 GMT -6
mc13 what a whirlwind of emotions to process in such a short amount of time. Sending you comforting and peaceful thoughts.
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milano
Emerald
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Post by milano on Feb 24, 2022 12:22:06 GMT -6
rugger my sister in your area just now sent me a picture of the hgtv dream home flyer with the caption "I have a better chance of winning this house than I do of buying a house in this market" . It is wild and I'm sorry you guys aren't able to find what you want/need.
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Post by charlotte on Feb 24, 2022 15:08:08 GMT -6
I’ve been stalking real estate (in the city we met up in tj) where we are thinking of moving to & settling down. It’s like my hopes & dreams are crushed every time by the prices but I can’t stop looking 🥲. Every time MH spends money I am like a rage-aholic shouting “don’t you ever want to be able to buy a house?!” rugger I hope you find something great that works for your fam.
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Post by mintyblueair on Feb 24, 2022 15:38:09 GMT -6
I'm so sorry for your losses milano and mc13. That is a lot to process. Hugs to both of you ♥️
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Post by mintyblueair on Feb 24, 2022 15:41:37 GMT -6
I stopped taking my antidepressant and started irrationally worrying about things that I haven't worried about in months. So I started it again. I'm doing well in a general sense but I hate hate hate that I've gained weight and that the only way I can control my weight while taking this stupid drug is to obsess over food all day every day.
I'm also so sad about what's happening in Ukraine right now and I'm terrified that this is just the beginning.
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Post by charlotte on Feb 24, 2022 17:19:18 GMT -6
mintyblueair solidarity. when I saw the news this morning I just wanted to bawl.
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rugger
Amethyst
Posts: 5,768 Likes: 14,536
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Post by rugger on Feb 24, 2022 20:17:56 GMT -6
tj I think it's mostly the kitchen, but our main level is very open concept, so it all jobs bleeds together. I'm trying not to wait until 2pm to clean things up (which is typically when my brain notices things after being sidetracked with other small tasks throughout the day) 🤷
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sarenu
Amethyst
Posts: 5,085 Likes: 10,330
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Post by sarenu on Feb 25, 2022 8:52:22 GMT -6
I’m feeling very meh. And a little overwhelmed.
Work is good.
I think it’s the house project that has been a slow crawl for everyone. We are finalizing plans and starting our contract and going to permit.
And it is taking forever.
So that is making big me both excited, annoyed, and anxious all at once. It’s exhausting.
Plus we are approaching the 9 month mark of starting this process and I know we still have a long way to go.
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stringy
Opal
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Post by stringy on Feb 28, 2022 19:38:48 GMT -6
I’m tired of anything remotely social being alcohol based.
I feel like I need new friends (or acquaintances). Not like I have a million friends. You’d think it wouldn’t be so hard to find your people. Problem is my people are the ones still doing this and I just don’t want to anymore. End rant. Mental health update: feeling disconnected.
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tj
Moderator
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Post by tj on Feb 28, 2022 19:49:58 GMT -6
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snowmoon
Sapphire
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Post by snowmoon on Mar 4, 2022 8:27:00 GMT -6
Hi. I was not doing well AT ALL so I took a social media break. That helped a bit. I’m so tired of arguing with people so I think I’ve permanently cut some ties with people we loved to spend time with before the pandemic started. I’m sad that it got to that point but whatever.
I’m really trying to just *be* and stop focusing on what I think would make life better because i feel like I’m wasting so much energy being angry. Everyone that is also struggling with houses- I feel that. I’ve just about given up hope that we will every own a home or have more than a 300sq ft yard.
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tj
Moderator
Posts: 9,912 Likes: 24,842
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Post by tj on Mar 4, 2022 8:41:04 GMT -6
Welcome back snowmoon. I hope you are feeling better.
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tj
Moderator
Posts: 9,912 Likes: 24,842
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Post by tj on Mar 8, 2022 9:04:33 GMT -6
I hate everyone and everything. Mostly myself and my stupid face and my stupid body and my stupid hair. But mostly mostly my stupid hormones. Like I get that hormones cycle and they change our emotions and reactions and that is normal. But I literally spent half an hour on the kitchen floor weeping uncontrollably yesterday morning when I was supposed to be getting myself and the kids out the door to work and school. You wanna know why? Bc my scalp was a little flaky. (Our water softener malfunctioned and we didn’t realize it and we all have mineral buildup and dry flaky skin and it took us a bit to realize why and now it’s taking a bit to fix.) But like, overreact much? Considering the amount of antidepressants and anti anxiety meds I take, such a reaction shouldn’t even be possible. Wtf.
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milano
Emerald
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Post by milano on Mar 8, 2022 15:49:13 GMT -6
tj I'm sorry. Hormones are such a bitch. I wish you could see how beautiful you really are, even with flakes!
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mc13
Sapphire
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Post by mc13 on Mar 9, 2022 8:12:57 GMT -6
When it rains it pours… **TW cancer**
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My dad just called to tell me that my aunt (moms sister/my godmother) was just diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer and it’s already spread to her brain. She just turned 60 years old. They’ve started chemo but they don’t think it’s going to do much 😢
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Post by rhymeswithdisco on Mar 9, 2022 8:13:57 GMT -6
I am so sorry mc13. Fuck cancer.
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sarenu
Amethyst
Posts: 5,085 Likes: 10,330
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Post by sarenu on Mar 9, 2022 8:27:44 GMT -6
F cancer
Sorry mc13.
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