sarenu
Amethyst
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Post by sarenu on Apr 30, 2020 15:04:50 GMT -6
I'm seriously considering texting our neighbor to see if she would watch the kids this summer. Shes 18. I'd have her come here.
Between what we pay for summer camp for 2 and daycare for 1, we could offer her some serious money per week. Or even 2 or 3 days a week.
But it all depends on the situation in June. Girl Scouts in our area has already canceled all summer camps and activities.
I hate all of this so much.
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mc13
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Post by mc13 on May 1, 2020 4:58:34 GMT -6
mc13 I meant to respond earlier... I’m sorry for that stress. I hope his job will remain safe. Thanks charlotte. His job is safe for now, but they just announced a pretty large pay cut for everyone for the next 3 months, hopefully that’s all it’ll be. 🤦🏻♀️
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sarenu
Amethyst
Posts: 5,085 Likes: 10,330
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Post by sarenu on May 1, 2020 7:04:30 GMT -6
mc13 I meant to respond earlier... I’m sorry for that stress. I hope his job will remain safe. Thanks charlotte. His job is safe for now, but they just announced a pretty large pay cut for everyone for the next 3 months, hopefully that’s all it’ll be. 🤦🏻♀️ We just got hit with this as well. It sucks, but we put off the house expansion and are in a good financial position because we were saving to put a good chunk down in cash. I just want a job to come back to at some point. And to be able to go have a beer at a bar.
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snowmoon
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Post by snowmoon on May 1, 2020 11:18:12 GMT -6
I'm somewhere in the middle of a 10 stretch at work and I'm having a really tough one. I obviously can't go in to detail but it is exhausting dealing the shit we deal with not getting any support from management. I love my job but this is not sustainable. I want to go back to school but it feels impossible because it would be such a huge financial burden.
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rugger
Amethyst
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Post by rugger on May 6, 2020 12:41:19 GMT -6
I'm feeling at a loss today. I have no medical background, so I have to rely on "reliable" sources to give me truthful information about this situation. But who is legit reliable and not just trying to make $$??
Are we doing the best thing by staying home? Are we just suppressing our immune systems by disinfecting everything constantly and staying away from everyone? What happens in the Fall when people go back to school and everyone's immune systems are weakened?
I just keep seeing so much conflicting and it's hard to know who to trust, ya know?
I feel like I sound crazy typing all this..I just want people to be healthy.
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milano
Emerald
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Post by milano on May 6, 2020 13:21:44 GMT -6
rugger I understand. I did read somewhere - can't remember where but it seemed credible - that our immune systems will not be ruined by this. It takes longer than a few months for them to be wiped out. So I think you can let that concern go. I think the hardest part of all this is that no one, not even the experts "know" what is going to happen and how all this plays out. They can give us their best predictions and recommendations and all we can do is trust them. A lot of it is wait and see. And a lot of it is going to be personal comfort levels, for those that have the privilege to make the decision for their families when they go back out into the world. It is a privilege to be able to decide. It is so hard knowing that literally no one knows what the way out of this looks like.
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Post by charlotte on May 6, 2020 13:46:17 GMT -6
It’s really hard to not be able to see the end of this. And I realize that the “end” will actually be gradual over time.
But I know there is apparently a spike expected soon with states reopening (MO is allowing concerts again beginning Monday!😱) and again in the fall.
It just feels so discouraging. Throw the whole year away.
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Speedy
Sapphire
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Post by Speedy on May 6, 2020 13:51:41 GMT -6
It’s really hard to not be able to see the end of this. And I realize that the “end” will actually be gradual over time. But I know there is apparently a spike expected soon with states reopening (MO is allowing concerts again beginning Monday!😱) and again in the fall. It just feels so discouraging. Throw the whole year away. That's nuts! Everything here is canceled through the end of the year and we literally have had the least cases per capita of all of the provinces.
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mapleme
Amethyst
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Post by mapleme on May 6, 2020 14:18:10 GMT -6
I'm feeling at a loss today. I have no medical background, so I have to rely on "reliable" sources to give me truthful information about this situation. But who is legit reliable and not just trying to make $$?? Are we doing the best thing by staying home? Are we just suppressing our immune systems by disinfecting everything constantly and staying away from everyone? What happens in the Fall when people go back to school and everyone's immune systems are weakened? I just keep seeing so much conflicting and it's hard to know who to trust, ya know? I feel like I sound crazy typing all this..I just want people to be healthy. It's so frustrating to not have a source that we can all unify behind and trust. There are definitely wiser minds and more cohesive advice in other countries. British Colombia has a really great health minister (officer? I can't remember her title). It would take years, if not lifetimes to lose our immune systems. We maintain immunity to many things our entire life. I have wondered how other, non-corona viruses are faring though, with all of us being cut off. I wonder if some will die off without us even knowing it. I would be skeptical of any "expert" who claims that we are "suppressing" our immune system. We could be (very mildly) disarming it by giving it fewer things to fight, but suppression would mean that our immune system would lose the ability to mount a new defense when a new invader showed up (like if you take a steroid, which does in fact suppress the immune system). Our immune systems are still ready to go whenever needed. I really wish that our leaders would come up with rules for us to live safely with. Something like, "Restaurants need to do xyz. Gatherings over 50 are not allowed. Schools need to operate in pods of Xnumber of children/adults. Everyone needs to wear a mask anytime that they might come within 10 feet of someone for more than 2 minutes. If you spend xminutes with no mask or yminutes with a mask with someone who gets Covid then you need to quarantine for 14 days. If we have Xnumber of new cases in a week then we go back to Lockdown Stage B" Etc. Give us guidence! We NEED to find a new operational normal. Something resembling sustainable.
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mapleme
Amethyst
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Post by mapleme on May 6, 2020 14:32:59 GMT -6
The part that concerns me is the talk that we need something like 40-70+% of the population to be immune to the virus before we can say the crisis is done.....but we're only at about 0.05% of the world population having had the virus and having any potential immunity to it so far. I don't think that it's low as 0.05%, but yeah. That's the issue. If we let it run rampant we will all (hopefully) get immunity. But a whole hell of a lot of people will die. If we lock 100% of things down, the virus can't kill people, but we also can't function as a society. But there is a not-ideal, but not awful middle ground. If we come up with some basic set of rules that lower the contagiousness of the virus (like wearing masks, washing our hands and not gathering in big crowds), fewer people will get it. It's won't be zero, but it will be fewer and its spread will be slower. So (for example), each person will infect 1 other person instead of 2 or 3. If we start at a low case count, that spread level will stay low. Hospitals will be able to manage the caseload and so a higher percentage of people who get it will survive. And if things get crazy in an area, we'll have to reset with another lockdown (boo). I feel like there is a way to operate in that middle space. Especially if we can contact trace and lock down individuals before they've had a chance to spread it. And then, hopefully, we will have a vaccine and we can all throw a GIANT party.
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rugger
Amethyst
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Post by rugger on May 6, 2020 14:48:51 GMT -6
Thanks mapleme for the sanity check. I legit needed it.
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tj
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Post by tj on May 6, 2020 15:00:47 GMT -6
It’s really hard to not be able to see the end of this. And I realize that the “end” will actually be gradual over time. But I know there is apparently a spike expected soon with states reopening (MO is allowing concerts again beginning Monday!😱) and again in the fall. It just feels so discouraging. Throw the whole year away. Peen for the first part. But huh??? for the second.
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tj
Moderator
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Post by tj on May 6, 2020 15:19:30 GMT -6
mapleme Around 0.05% has had the virus globally. It's about 0.37% of the US has had the virus officially. I can't buy those numbers. And here's why. We will never, ever have an accurate number. Some places (think, remote africa) will never have the ability to test or report their results. But even here in America, you 1) can't test everyone and 2) the tests are 20-30% failure rate. So, inaccurate. And even disregarding that, there are so many people who are either asymptomatic or had mild cases, so they never reported illness and will never get tested. Sorry, this is a really sore subject for me, with 0% ire directed at you, only at the situation. But these numbers will never mean a damn thing to me.
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tj
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Post by tj on May 6, 2020 15:58:52 GMT -6
I don't think it's going to be a one day we're in a pandemic and one day we're not type thing. I think it's just going to be this slow transition where more and more people rejoin the open world and less and less new infections occur daily then weekly and it's just eventually going to have a vaccine that people will either get or not get and some people will get the vaccine and still get the covid and some people will never get the vaccine and never get the covid and eventually no one will even test for it anymore. And then suddenly we'll be on our porches in our rocking chairs with our white claws over ice in a reusable tumbler and a silicon straw telling our cloth diapered grandkids about that time we all had to stay inside for 6 months bc we thought covid was deadly way back when. And they will laugh and laugh as we bounce them on our brittle arthritic knees and say "tell it again nana, tell it again!"
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mapleme
Amethyst
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Post by mapleme on May 6, 2020 17:07:59 GMT -6
I totally agree. That's why I specified officially. I just have no idea how much to add to the "infected" number to get a more accurate number.....but even if you add another million to it the result is still to damn low to say we're even remotely close to being done with this in the US. ETA: I just want to be done with this pandemic but ^^^ obviously means we're not. Places that they have tested everyone have suggested more like 20%-30% antibody rates. Still not herd immunity, but way more than 0.05%.
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milano
Emerald
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Post by milano on May 6, 2020 18:02:09 GMT -6
I cannot even comprehend attending a concert right now. My goodness.
I have tickets for Def Leppard in August and I'm 99% sure that won't even be happening.
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Post by violajack on May 6, 2020 18:07:43 GMT -6
I don't think it's going to be a one day we're in a pandemic and one day we're not type thing. I think it's just going to be this slow transition where more and more people rejoin the open world and less and less new infections occur daily then weekly and it's just eventually going to have a vaccine that people will either get or not get and some people will get the vaccine and still get the covid and some people will never get the vaccine and never get the covid and eventually no one will even test for it anymore. And then suddenly we'll be on our porches in our rocking chairs with our white claws over ice in a reusable tumbler and a silicon straw telling our cloth diapered grandkids about that time we all had to stay inside for 6 months bc we thought covid was deadly way back when. And they will laugh and laugh as we bounce them on our brittle arthritic knees and say "tell it again nana, tell it again!" Today was a rough day for me and this was just the right amount of reality and humor for me. This is a future I can get behind. I need some white claw. And weather warm enough to drink things over ice.
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tj
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Post by tj on May 6, 2020 21:18:28 GMT -6
I had been doing so well. Mentally at least. Maybe I was just more focused on my physical health (or lack therefore) and wasn’t worrying so much about, well, worrying. Fuck. I don’t know. Maybe it’s just hormones. But gah doesn’t that sound so 1950’s. Don’t mind her, she’s just hysterical. Lol any time I was a bitch at home growing up, my mom would come in my room, close the door, and lean up against the closed door as if I were contagious. And say, “TJ, are you about to ::whispers:: start your period: ” As if it were some shameful secret. And I wonder why I have issues. Welcome to my stream of consciousness. I was actually just yesterday, maybe this morning, thinking how proud I was of myself for how well I’ve been keeping my shit together. It’s like the kiss of death every time. Edit: Bahaha. Kids of death. Sounds about right.
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milano
Emerald
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Post by milano on May 7, 2020 10:08:58 GMT -6
I'm having a bad week, emotionally. I just can't keep them in check. I'm either yelling or crying and I'm just miserable. I don't know if it's hormones or everything is finally just hitting me or what but something has to change. I started fasting and exercising more regularly this week and I suspect the fasting (which usually doesn't bother me) is just too much right now. So I'm going to shorten that and see if it helps.
I just need a legit break. Away from my house and family and being needed 24/7. Maybe I'll go sleep in my car somewhere, a pandemic vacation.
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Post by charlotte on May 7, 2020 10:14:14 GMT -6
milano earlier this week we were walking in our neighborhood. There’s a nature trailhead with a little gravel lot. I saw a mom in her minivan parked there, just chillin by herself in silence. I wanted to salute her. When we walked by again like an hour later she was still there, putting up the sun shade thing on her dashboard and leaning back to take a nap. My hero.
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tj
Moderator
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Post by tj on May 7, 2020 10:19:53 GMT -6
We should just have an international mom solidarity salute. Like this.
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mapleme
Amethyst
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Post by mapleme on May 7, 2020 10:20:25 GMT -6
Yesterday afternoon was my time to work (with DH watching the kids) and instead of working, I went out and ran errands. I took way too long at one of my stops and I was concerned that DH would want me home. But then I realized that it was *my* time and I could just take as long as I want. And then I ran into a long ago business colleague who I normally would just say hi and make polite small talk with. But it was SO WONDERFUL to have an impromptu conversation in the street (6 feet apart with masks on). SO WONDERFUL.
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milano
Emerald
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Post by milano on May 7, 2020 10:34:48 GMT -6
My cross stitch kit arrived this week so I'm going to work on this tonight instead of folding laundry and cleaning after the kids go to bed. Super appropriate.
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Post by Dramaphile on May 7, 2020 12:02:48 GMT -6
How do I become less of a yelling parent? Nugget has been taking her stubbornness to an extreme recently and throwing down over even small stuff and it is driving us both nuts. Plus C is getting more loud and demanding now that he's figured out he can ask for stuff by pointing and yelling (and he is having some kind of growth spurt because he wants to eat constantly). J and I have both been yelling more than we're comfortable with, but it's just so freaking hard not to. Anyone have any tips or resources? J's going stir crazy because of the isolation and I'm stressed out by being back at work and overloaded and then getting no break between work and being attacked by the kids. Damn this is all hard.
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Post by charlotte on May 7, 2020 12:11:33 GMT -6
DS1 asked me “why are you so angry today?” 😞😞
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rugger
Amethyst
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Post by rugger on May 7, 2020 12:33:26 GMT -6
DS1 asked me “why are you so angry today?” 😞😞 Solidarity. R kicked me in the knee today after I told her, many times, to stop biting at me (she was in a crazy hyped up mood) and to please go away. And then got mad at me when I didn't want an apology hug right after she kicked me (no "I'm sorry", just lunging in for a hug). 🤷 Sorry kid, I don't feel bad for enforcing my own body boundaries.
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Post by Dramaphile on May 7, 2020 13:21:13 GMT -6
rugger the body boundary thing is maddening. Nugget is in that stage where whatever she is doing that we don't like (licking, touching, biting, climbing all over us, etc), if we tell her to stop because we don't like it, she does it again anyways (hence the yelling). And she is all the time demanding that we play wrestle with her and I get she wants to be physical and is missing that outlet, but sometimes I'm just not in the mood for a tickle fight and I'd like her to accept my offer to do it later at a specific time. Ugh.
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milano
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Post by milano on May 7, 2020 13:25:40 GMT -6
How do I become less of a yelling parent? Nugget has been taking her stubbornness to an extreme recently and throwing down over even small stuff and it is driving us both nuts. Plus C is getting more loud and demanding now that he's figured out he can ask for stuff by pointing and yelling (and he is having some kind of growth spurt because he wants to eat constantly). J and I have both been yelling more than we're comfortable with, but it's just so freaking hard not to. Anyone have any tips or resources? J's going stir crazy because of the isolation and I'm stressed out by being back at work and overloaded and then getting no break between work and being attacked by the kids. Damn this is all hard. I have noticed, for myself, that the amount of yelling I do truly has nothing to do with how good/bad my kid is being. It has to do with ME. If my sleep is bad, if I'm stressed, hungry, etc, then yelling is my default. I hate it. I was just thinking the other day how I hadn't truly yelled at J in a couple months, and then this week I have to stop myself from like, screaming. It is really hard, even though I KNOW that the yelling just makes things worse and doesn't help my kid at all. This is not to make you feel guilty, it is just comiseration. I have to get myself in the right state of mind and then I can be patient and a "better" parent (in parentheses because yelling does not make you a bad parent, to be clear). Parenting is alwaysis really hard but parenting during this is extra fucking difficult. The deep breath thing before speaking/responding does help, as dumb as it may sound. I *may* have put Deep Breaths on a few post-it notes around my house. Whatever it takes. I also always try to apologize to my kid when I do yell (so like, 5 times today so far) and let him know that yelling at people is not the way to handle things and that Mommy makes mistakes sometimes, etc. He seems to get it, and then apologizes when he yells so I guess maybe that is good. I don't know. Hugs to you! ETA I realize that I mispelled and used wrong words in this paragraph but it feels too daunting to go back and fix.
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milano
Emerald
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Post by milano on May 7, 2020 13:26:45 GMT -6
DS1 asked me “why are you so angry today?” 😞😞 J asked me earlier if I still loved him. So, that is great.
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tj
Moderator
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Post by tj on May 7, 2020 13:33:43 GMT -6
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