stringy
Opal
Posts: 8,306 Likes: 22,157
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Post by stringy on Oct 8, 2020 7:35:47 GMT -6
We have .5 acre and its conservation lands on two of the borders so feels like more. Its all good. My brother is still on the house hunt in SoCal and its like, 100 feet of "yard". I can't imagine.
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stringy
Opal
Posts: 8,306 Likes: 22,157
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Post by stringy on Oct 8, 2020 7:36:11 GMT -6
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Post by ovenrack on Oct 8, 2020 7:48:18 GMT -6
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sarenu
Amethyst
Posts: 5,085 Likes: 10,330
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Post by sarenu on Oct 8, 2020 7:58:14 GMT -6
People can f off right now. I have no time to make sure your fuck up is cleaned up because you couldn't do things properly the first time.
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Post by rhymeswithdisco on Oct 8, 2020 8:16:15 GMT -6
Well, this was me in therapy today. Especially when my therapist told me how proud of me she is and so impressed with the work I've been doing.
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Post by violajack on Oct 8, 2020 11:04:33 GMT -6
Oh, I missed the yard discussion. We had a 3000 sqft lot in CA. I have 6 acres now. I've met most of the neighbors and like them, but I can't see them, and I'm a fan of that set up. But I'm on the front end of life on lots of land where I'm just beginning my animal collection and thinking about gardening next spring. I may eventually want to live somewhere smaller where I can walk places again, but that time is not now. Right now, I need a large fenced yard where my feral children can run naked and no one cares. We can live in a neighborhood again when they're civilized enough to keep their clothes on.
And because this is the sky is falling thread, I had a good cry over all the shit my husband leaves lying around this morning. He's like, it's just the can of cat food, what's so horrible about that? But like, it's not JUST the can of cat food, that's just the straw that broke the camel's back this morning. Everything is an isolated incident to him and he just can't understand why I get upset about one little thing.
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snowmoon
Sapphire
Posts: 3,998 Likes: 9,593
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Post by snowmoon on Oct 8, 2020 11:11:18 GMT -6
I half-heartedly tried to wean E just before her 2nd birthday and then COVID happened and I thought hmmm, maybe not. But now I'm totally over it, touched out, and I need to start taking some medications. I have no idea how to do this because she is such a strong (dramatic, persistent) personality. She's still nursing 3-4 times a day and asks about 20805 times. I know people go cold turkey but I'm really nervous and emotional to about doing it that way. I'm not sure what I'm looking for here. Maybe just hair pats, if you can spare some.
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Post by Dramaphile on Oct 8, 2020 11:28:57 GMT -6
snowmoon sending you all the hair pats. I'm contemplating weaning C after his 2nd birthday in a couple of weeks because I'm feeling done and he does a lot of annoying stuff while he nurses at bedtime, but also we have these little sweet moments that I would miss. And he's my last baby, so I have a lot of feelings about being done BF for good.
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Post by charlotte on Oct 8, 2020 11:39:30 GMT -6
I feel that we (the entire globe, basically) are so collectively EXHAUSTED by four years of pure chaos from the Trump administration and now COVID.
We are all being dragged down into the negativity of outrage fatigue, anxiety, poor health... ugh. Wifhdjebdisksdepejdheh 😭
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tj
Moderator
Posts: 9,912 Likes: 24,842
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Post by tj on Oct 8, 2020 12:57:10 GMT -6
violajack I see we have the same spouse. Mine is mostly socks and shoes. And hats. And sunglasses. And keys. One might think, why do t you make a little mud room drop zone where one can put their keys and hat and sunglasses and shoes right when they walk in the door? Have done. Still 8 pairs of shoes in the living room. So them any single cat food can left out is just like
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tj
Moderator
Posts: 9,912 Likes: 24,842
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Post by tj on Oct 8, 2020 13:02:01 GMT -6
Oh snowmoon. I feel every word you wrote deep down in my soul. You don’t have to go cold turkey. Drop one session. Offer something else she likes instead. “Sorry honey, mommy’s boobies are running out of milk. How about if we xyz instead? We can try again later.” If you want to drop the first or last off the day, then milkies are night night. Have to wait till lunch time. You can do this. And you are worth it. Hugs.
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tj
Moderator
Posts: 9,912 Likes: 24,842
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Post by tj on Oct 8, 2020 13:02:49 GMT -6
I feel that we (the entire globe, basically) are so collectively EXHAUSTED by four years of pure chaos from the Trump administration and now COVID. We are all being dragged down into the negativity of outrage fatigue, anxiety, poor health... ugh. Wifhdjebdisksdepejdheh 😭 Indeed. And now this ugly election on top of it. It’s just like an enormous shit snowball.
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Post by violajack on Oct 8, 2020 13:23:25 GMT -6
I tried to practice for 15 minutes and the toddler full bore screamed at me literally the whole time. So I finally gave up to go cut strawberries because that's what he was screaming about. But then he screams that he doesn't want strawberries, he wants a strawberry slushie. But then he wanted blueberries too. Then he screamed when I put them in the blender because he wanted them out. But then he screamed that he did want them. So I made the slushie and he didn't want it and he screamed that he wanted me to cut strawberries the knife for him. I did not handle it well and I chopped rather aggressively and I'm scared of myself and I feel like a I don't ever get to exist as my own person at all anymore and I just can't handle being screamed at any more. And why bother because my industry is dead and even if it wasn't I've got way too much anxiety and not enough time to ever get back to the level I'd need to be at to win a job and I may as well just a be a house robot that only does things for other people all the time anyway because that's all I'm good for.
That's 2 good cries so far today for those of you keeping track at home.
But at least the screaming has stopped now. And I've got strawberry slushie to mix my wine into when we all get back from gymnastics tonight.
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stringy
Opal
Posts: 8,306 Likes: 22,157
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Post by stringy on Oct 8, 2020 13:46:31 GMT -6
A project at work is holding a harvest festival to kick off their project. Outside, but at an urban housing complex. Also a few hours drive from home.
I just had to write an email that was pretty much like, yea...I won't be attending this. I was dumbfounded during the team meeting the other day when they announced it.
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Post by Dramaphile on Oct 8, 2020 13:56:55 GMT -6
violajack sending you all the love, toddlers are exhausting and anxiety is forever these days and I hope you get to enjoy your wine slushie and decompress later.
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Post by violajack on Oct 8, 2020 14:36:14 GMT -6
Guess what the toddler was doing while he was not screaming? He was destroying shit. Ruined things. Can't relax. Can't ever relax. Not safe. Third hard cry of the day. Don't trust him home alone with my husband while I take the other two to gymnastics, husband will put the TV on and ignore him. Need a break from him for my sanity. I'll worry if I leave him at home, I'll lose my mind if I try to take him with me. I need to just not for a while. Can I just not?
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Post by violajack on Oct 8, 2020 14:39:06 GMT -6
Related: TTMA CBD. Where do I get it, what do I get, what do I do with it? I'm in a medical state but do not want to deal with a doctor visit, but CBD doesn't matter, just THC right? Doctor told me to exercise more to deal with stress and depression. Not helpful.
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Post by Dramaphile on Oct 8, 2020 14:52:23 GMT -6
Related: TTMA CBD. Where do I get it, what do I get, what do I do with it? I'm in a medical state but do not want to deal with a doctor visit, but CBD doesn't matter, just THC right? Doctor told me to exercise more to deal with stress and depression. Not helpful. My husband takes the MedTerra keep calm CBD gummies. They were recommended to him by his therapist.
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Speedy
Sapphire
Posts: 4,613 Likes: 8,575
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Post by Speedy on Oct 8, 2020 15:05:45 GMT -6
Is this the part where confess that we looked at a house with 5 acres and decided it wasn't enough land for us? Lol.
Also re: weaning - I weaned F because I had to, not because I wanted to and I definitely miss the snuggles. But what we did was drop basically all of them except the morning and evening. And then we started watching videos and snuggling at night instead of nursing, and then we slowly dropped how long we were nursing in the morning. Morning was his favorite time, and honestly mine too so it was the toughest. There were some tears when I would say no, but I distracted him with something else so it didn't last long.
Also also, there's now 17 cases related to the first 2. They include 2 family members who went to work before they were diagnosed... At a restaurant and Costco... I'm just bracing myself.
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mapleme
Amethyst
Posts: 6,070 Likes: 16,087
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Post by mapleme on Oct 8, 2020 18:28:37 GMT -6
Related: TTMA CBD. Where do I get it, what do I get, what do I do with it? I'm in a medical state but do not want to deal with a doctor visit, but CBD doesn't matter, just THC right? Doctor told me to exercise more to deal with stress and depression. Not helpful. CBD is making my life so much better. Small part is me having some, huge part is DH having some. It just smooths out his irritation/frustration with life things so that he can actually deal with them and not be overwhelmed by them. And then I'm not overwhelmed by his overwhelm. This is my favorite CBD source: www.upstateelevator.com/shopcbd/ I love their Ginger soda and the seltzers. DH loves their gummies.
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Post by violajack on Oct 8, 2020 19:13:26 GMT -6
I ordered some sodas. Thanks!
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milano
Emerald
Posts: 10,914 Likes: 36,993
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Post by milano on Oct 8, 2020 21:22:54 GMT -6
Ugh violajack what a shit day. I've felt that way before too, "aggressive" when I'm super frustrated and overwhelmed. I hope the sodas help! MH also leaves stuff everywhere...like keys , 2 feet from the key bin. Or receipts, on the counter next to the garbage can. I scream internally a lot and sometimes it spills out and I yell at him. I swear that he hates clear spaces.
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Speedy
Sapphire
Posts: 4,613 Likes: 8,575
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Post by Speedy on Oct 8, 2020 22:36:26 GMT -6
Ya'll talking about CBD made me go and look and apparently it can help with symptoms of ADHD where I can't take the meds yet (and especially since I'd likely need a stimulant based on how my body reacts). I saw that the provincial cannabis store has some high CBD low THC tea that comes in a 3 pack (it's like 10% and 0.05%) that I think I'm going to get just to try and see if it works for me before I invest in a tincture. I've been so scattered lately and just everything makes it worse.
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nikkipal
Sapphire
Posts: 2,751 Likes: 8,044
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Post by nikkipal on Oct 9, 2020 6:16:05 GMT -6
I’m so mother-loving over distance learning at this point. Yesterday I broke down in tears. Thank god Fall break is next week.
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jnu76
Gold
Posts: 947 Likes: 2,957
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Post by jnu76 on Oct 9, 2020 6:43:08 GMT -6
I tried to practice for 15 minutes and the toddler full bore screamed at me literally the whole time. So I finally gave up to go cut strawberries because that's what he was screaming about. But then he screams that he doesn't want strawberries, he wants a strawberry slushie. But then he wanted blueberries too. Then he screamed when I put them in the blender because he wanted them out. But then he screamed that he did want them. So I made the slushie and he didn't want it and he screamed that he wanted me to cut strawberries the knife for him. I did not handle it well and I chopped rather aggressively and I'm scared of myself and I feel like a I don't ever get to exist as my own person at all anymore and I just can't handle being screamed at any more. And why bother because my industry is dead and even if it wasn't I've got way too much anxiety and not enough time to ever get back to the level I'd need to be at to win a job and I may as well just a be a house robot that only does things for other people all the time anyway because that's all I'm good for. That's 2 good cries so far today for those of you keeping track at home. But at least the screaming has stopped now. And I've got strawberry slushie to mix my wine into when we all get back from gymnastics tonight. I share all of your feelings on trying to be a musician with young kids without lots of support from a partner who recognizes that both the paying gigs and what you have to do to maintain the level to keep getting them are real work. And all of the feelings of despair being a musician right now with not only no work on the horizon but no playing with other people to feed your soul. And how soul crushing it is when you can’t practice enough to like how you sound, as if we’re not already self critical enough. I’m with you all the way.
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Post by rhymeswithdisco on Oct 19, 2020 8:53:02 GMT -6
Tomorrow would be my 8th wedding anniversary. I'm trying my best not to stuff my emotions but I'm worried I'm going to fall apart if I allow myself to feel things.
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milano
Emerald
Posts: 10,914 Likes: 36,993
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Post by milano on Oct 19, 2020 9:14:48 GMT -6
rhymeswithdisco sending hugs to you. Whatever you feel, however you deal with it, it is ok. I hope you can carve out some alone time to feel your feelings.
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tj
Moderator
Posts: 9,912 Likes: 24,842
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Post by tj on Oct 19, 2020 10:22:28 GMT -6
I’m sorry disco. You are allowed to feel or not feel whatever you need. Can someone watch the kids and let you have some disco time? Maybe have some wine and pizza and binge watch some trash tv and just think about you. Or if you want to go a healthier route, maybe spend some time making a vision board and put the changes you want to be on the board. Want to keep working out? Put it on the board. Have a specific health goal? Put it on the board. Work goals? Home goals? Friendship goals? Put. It. On. The. Board. Manifest your goals. Or if that ain’t your thang, make it a special night with the kids. Pizza Rolls and popcorn and candy in an indoor fort while you snuggle and watch a movie. Just some thoughts to help you get through this week. You are doing amazing sweetie. Don’t let a date on a calendar change that. Keep killing it.
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Post by Dramaphile on Oct 20, 2020 7:53:14 GMT -6
I may get some judgment on this, but we're going to a wedding on weds evening. It's super small, will be all outdoors, distanced and masked (Bride and groom are super pro mask). They're really good friends of ours, and we just can't imagine missing their wedding. From what we know, it doesn't appear to be any riskier (maybe less so) than eating outdoors at a restaurant, but of course anything short of staying home has some level of risk to it.
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tj
Moderator
Posts: 9,912 Likes: 24,842
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Post by tj on Oct 20, 2020 8:14:18 GMT -6
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