Second Time Mom STM

[watermelonseed]

STMs etc TTMA

What you found helpful the second time (or more)around such as

Products

Mat Leave Tips

Hospital Stay

Extra!

[watermelonseed]

Products: I hated my baby Bjorne carrier and returned it for a full refund. Hoping for an Ergo Baby with infant insert. I also will get a sit me up chair since my DD thighs and the bumbo didn't last long.

Mat Leave Tips: I learned I must get out of the house at least every other day even if it's just a quick errand. I got super anxious hanging around the house.

Hospital Stay: I packed so much crap. Also I went into labor unexpectedly almost 6 weeks early and was planning on packing my larger mat clothes closer. That meant I had like 2 outfits for a five day hospital stay. So miserable. I won't make that mistake again. Also need a long extension cord for chargers.

Other: I filled my extra freezer with stuffed shells, lasagna, pot pies, muffins, banana bread, quiche and so on. This was probably one of the best things ever for the first few weeks of the chaos. I will definitely do this again plus soups for lunches.

[hiimjamie]

Products:

Get a baby carrier! I have an Ergo 360 with an infant insert (I still carry my almost 2 year old on my back with it!) and I love it but when he was a NB I LOVED the Baby K'Tan carrier. It was much less bulky and really easy to use.

We also loved our 4Moms infant tub and when DS got bigger we used the Munchkin inflatable Duck Tub in the tub until he was ready to be in the bathtub in his own.

We used the Chico LullaGo as our bassinet in our room and for travel. It works great!

We have the Britax BSafecar seat and BAgile stroller combo. The stroller still gets used a lot and is holding up great.


Mat Leave Tips:

+1 with getting out every so often. I used to say I was taking DS on "adventures". It was nice to get out even if we were just grocery shopping.

Hospital Stay:

I too packed too much. DS was born in August and we live in FL so we didn't use any of the outfits we packed him. He just wore diapers and the little shirts from the hospital until we went home. Bring lanolin if you plan to breastfeed. Bring a Boppy or breastfeeding pillow. The beds are uncomfortable AF so you'll want all the pillows they provide for yourself! I hated the mesh undies. I know most women love them but I couldn't stand them. I brought my own granny panties that I got specifically for the occasion. I also used my robe a ton. And MukLuk skipper socks. All of the nurses asked me where I got them. Lol


Extra!

[sarahh]

Products: We weren't able to carry Dylan in a carrier because she was in a brace for her hips so the 3 I have were never used so no advice there! This time around we need a new monitor with multiple cameras. Also I really want a halo bassinet (used of course) so I would like to hear any thoughts on that. The best thing we have is the fisher price my little lamb swing. It was a hand me down from my cousin. Dylan slept in that thing for naps until she was almost a year. We also had the rock n play which got some use but she wasn't as big a fan as the swing.

Mat Leave Tips: Tip for myself, take it easy after C-section and take naps when possible. I didn't do either the first time around. It kind of sucks that this baby will be here in the winter when we have to worry about the flu and other germs so I'm not sure how much I will get out but I will at least try to take walks if it's not too cold.

Hospital Stay: I packed a bunch of clothes for myself and stayed in the gown the whole time. I put on a built in bra tank under it but just left the mesh undies since I had a C-section and they were constantly checking my incision. I didn't bring much for Dylan so I may bring a few more baby things this time - a few more onesies and sleepers. I also didn't bring slippers so that's a good tip hiimjamie, I need to make sure those are in the bag this time.

[watermelonseed]

Double Stroller recommendations??

[watermelonseed]

+1 to Mesh Panty Hate. I literally made my mom go buy me adult diapers during our hospital stay. So much better.

[lili]

I like my sit n stand double stroller. My kids are 15 months apart and at 3 and almost 2 we still use it for big trips/zoo/etc. I will say that my 3 year old is a bit tall for the seat, so we just converted it to the stand portion and she loves it. I got it at Target when it was on sale.

[tiffrobot]

Products
Agreed with above, babywearing was a savior with number 2! I never did babywear my first so it was a learning experience but so worth it. I used a Ktan in her newborn days and I loved it with her, then moved to a BabyHawk mei tei which I used a ton! Technically you can use that from the newborn stage, I just really liked the Ktan while she was little and squishy. If you babywear and live where it's cold like me, I highly recommend a babywearing winter coat (or just sweater if it's not that cold) because I must get outside and get fresh air with a newborn around and keeping older sibling busy.

Mat Leave Tips
I was already a SAHM with her

Hospital Stay
Oh man. DS was a preemie so we weren't ready and not much packed. We didn't even believe I was in Labour so we brought hardly anything to the hospital. DD was almost right at her due date and we were only in the hospital one night and needed so little. Biggest reminder is cell phone chargers.

Extra!
I'm sure it will be different with every circumstance, but with ours welcoming number two was so much more a peaceful, euphoric experience. (See: DS born prematurely). It was much easier adjusting to being a mom of 2 rather than becoming a first time mom. Whenever people asked H how I was doing, he'd simply say "happy". It was such a nice change from the anxiety following having DS. We were much more comfortable making on the fly decisions, what to do with sleeping, what to do with crying, sickness. It's so much easier because she's always been so much healthier than him. DS absolutely loves big brother role and while sometimes is a little too aggressively in charge, they find their groove through different stages.

[lili]

Jun 28, 2017 12:15:54 GMT -6 watermelonseed said:

+1 to Mesh Panty Hate. I literally made my mom go buy me adult diapers during our hospital stay. So much better.

Hmmm. That's a good idea. I might try that trick. I don't mind the mesh panties but they're a bit tight for a plus size girl like me.

[tiffrobot]

Jun 28, 2017 12:14:12 GMT -6 watermelonseed said:

Double Stroller recommendations??

We have the Joovy Caboose Too. It's a front and back seat rather than side to side because I wanted it to be skinny, and the sit n stand feature was nice with DS (though he often sits). It folds up as small or smaller than our single!

[sarahh]

Jun 28, 2017 12:14:12 GMT -6 watermelonseed said:

Double Stroller recommendations??

I'd like to hear this too - and is a double stroller necessary?

We have an Uppababy Vista and bought the extra seat so we have that option. We have a single bob and I was wondering if we really need to get a double. I guess if I want to get back into shape. I've been keeping an eye on our local bst sites to see if there are any good deals in case we decide to get one.

[lili]

Jun 28, 2017 12:23:53 GMT -6 sarahh said:

Jun 28, 2017 12:14:12 GMT -6 watermelonseed said:

Double Stroller recommendations??

I'd like to hear this too - and is a double stroller necessary?

We have an Uppababy Vista and bought the extra seat so we have that option. We have a single bob and I was wondering if we really need to get a double. I guess if I want to get back into shape. I've been keeping an eye on our local bst sites to see if there are any good deals in case we decide to get one.

I would say it really depends on the age of your oldest and their personality. If you go to the zoo or something similar are they going to be okay walking the whole time?

[tiffrobot]

For me the double stroller wasn't necessary in the beginning when I was wearing her all the time, I would just push him in the single with her strapped on.

By the time she was mobile enough and wanting to be more of an observer, I used the double a lot for walks. A lot the summer she was 1/he was 3. (They are 23 months apart).

This year I'm back to using the single most of the time, as DS is riding a bike with training wheels now. But if we are ever going to the city where we need them more together we still grab the double.

[benandjerrys]

We have the vista too sarahh, but we don't have the other seat yet. I think I will hold off for a while and plan to wear the baby until at least next summer and then reevaluate. I never use the stroller now as DD prefers her push along car or trike. I wish those things came doublewide!

[benandjerrys]

The angel bottom balm was the only thing that touched the pain down there after 5 hours of pushing. It was amazing and I will be buying all of it this time around.

I had borrowed a Solly wrap and LOVED it. I will for sure buy one this time.

[lili]

Purchase epsolm salt! Putting that in a shallow bath 3xday really helped relieve the pain.

[watermelonseed]

tiffrobot hearing going from 1 to 2 was a little easier is comforting. How early was your DS?

[mrsp84]

Products: You really only need a few things to survive the first month or so. Mine were: bottles, formula for supplementing the first few days, one piece pj's (lots), burp cloths, nose frieda, and the rock n play. DD lived in the RNP for the first 5 months of her life. It was amazing and easily portable!

Mat Leave Tips: Definitely get out every once in a while. If people want to come over to visit, let them and take a shower while they're there for some you time! I had DD the coldest year on record in MI and we had so much snow. I definitely got cabin fever because I was afraid to go anywhere with her due to road conditions and taking a newborn out gave me such anxiety. This time, I am planning to do the opposite!

Hospital Stay: if you plan on BF'ing, bring your pump. Bring old pairs of undies because they may get ruined, fuzzy slipper socks, nursing tanks and baby really only needs one outfit to go home in. DD was in a swaddle that was provided by the hospital and a shirt and diapers. Bring your own pillow. I was so happy I brought my own. OH! And if the hospital provides diapers, wipes, etc., stock up on that stuff and put it in your bag when the nurses aren't around. My nurses encouraged us to take as much as possible. I don't know if that's acceptable everywhere, but with their blessing, I wasn't turning down free diapers and wipes!

Extra: try making a few meals ahead of time and freezing them for easy prep after you're home. Also, I will say this to everyone because I felt so stressed and like I was failing as a mom: it's ok to not feel an immediate bond with baby. I realized I was so stressed out with trying to figure the whole BF thing out that I was starting to not really like my baby. Once I decided BF was not going to work for us (took me 6 weeks to be ok with that), I felt an instant sigh of relief come over me and I felt like a brand new person. It's ok if BF doesn't work out for you. I'm going to give a try again this time around, but in a little more relaxed manner because my DD was FF and she's a normal, sassy, toddler.

[mrsp84]

Jun 28, 2017 11:41:01 GMT -6 watermelonseed said:

Products: I hated my baby Bjorne carrier and returned it for a full refund. Hoping for an Ergo Baby with infant insert. I also will get a sit me up chair since my DD thighs and the bumbo didn't last long.

Mat Leave Tips: I learned I must get out of the house at least every other day even if it's just a quick errand. I got super anxious hanging around the house.

Hospital Stay: I packed so much crap. Also I went into labor unexpectedly almost 6 weeks early and was planning on packing my larger mat clothes closer. That meant I had like 2 outfits for a five day hospital stay. So miserable. I won't make that mistake again. Also need a long extension cord for chargers.

Other: I filled my extra freezer with stuffed shells, lasagna, pot pies, muffins, banana bread, quiche and so on. This was probably one of the best things ever for the first few weeks of the chaos. I will definitely do this again plus soups for lunches.

Yes! I needed one of those so bad! I'm adding this to my list.

[amesie]

Jun 28, 2017 12:23:53 GMT -6 sarahh said:

Jun 28, 2017 12:14:12 GMT -6 watermelonseed said:

Double Stroller recommendations??

I'd like to hear this too - and is a double stroller necessary?

We have an Uppababy Vista and bought the extra seat so we have that option. We have a single bob and I was wondering if we really need to get a double. I guess if I want to get back into shape. I've been keeping an eye on our local bst sites to see if there are any good deals in case we decide to get one.

im thinking it will absolutely be necessary for us in order to get out and do anything. DD is so much better in the stroller than in any shopping cart, so I usually use that whenever we go out, except for big grocery runs. I'm hoping to get by with some baby wearing and keeping DD in the stroller, but then again I barely baby-wore in the beginning since I had DD in the infant carrier. I don't know, I'll prob get it right away just to have it.

I'm looking at the city mini double. I loooove my sisters single city mini and I've heard amazing things about the double

[hiimjamie]

Also, instead of the giganto pads they give I got some thin heavy flow overnight pads. Those were SO MUCH MORE COMFORTABLE. And this, take care of yourself too! Showering every day kept me sane. I put DS in the rock n play in the bathroom with me. If he cried, he cried. I knew he was safe and I was right there. Showering always made be feel like a new person.

[tiffrobot]

Jun 28, 2017 13:14:22 GMT -6 watermelonseed said:

tiffrobot hearing going from 1 to 2 was a little easier is comforting. How early was your DS?

He was born at 33w3d but was as healthy as he could have been that early, we were very lucky he was so ready. But as you can see by my post in the randoms thread, we've had a few scares that keep our anxiety high with him.

[maddisonrose]

Jun 28, 2017 12:18:00 GMT -6 tiffrobot said:

Extra!
I'm sure it will be different with every circumstance, but with ours welcoming number two was so much more a peaceful, euphoric experience. (See: DS born prematurely). It was much easier adjusting to being a mom of 2 rather than becoming a first time mom. Whenever people asked H how I was doing, he'd simply say "happy". It was such a nice change from the anxiety following having DS. We were much more comfortable making on the fly decisions, what to do with sleeping, what to do with crying, sickness. It's so much easier because she's always been so much healthier than him. DS absolutely loves big brother role and while sometimes is a little too aggressively in charge, they find their groove through different stages.

This made me tear up (lol hormones) but this is so incredibly nice to hear. I had such bad postpartum anxiety and a bit of PPD with DS I get scared thinking of going through it again and possibly worse trying to take care of 2 instead of just 1. All i'm praying for is a more peaceful and happy experience this time around

[dragonflyinn]

I wasn't sure if this was asking for people who are on baby 3 or more or just STM's to be haha but I'll answer anyway even though I've only had one so far.

Products-- we were so minimalist with DD, IMO you really only need a bouncer or swing of some kind, stroller, a way to babywear, & a RNP. I loved having a hand pump too if BF-ing because at the beginning my boobs would get soooo engorged and DD couldn't latch unless I pumped a little out at first. Spend the money on a GOOD baby carrier. The cheap ones are just that & you will hardly ever wear baby if it's killing your back all the time. We have a Tula & looooove it. I want to get a solly wrap for the newborn stage this time around. We also have the Britax travel system and have been really happy with it! Little things would be the nose frida.

Mat Leave Tips-- nothing here since I SAH

Hospital Stay-- I wish I'd brought a few more of my own clothes. I didn't really change out of the hospital gown for a whole two days (we got two full days since she was born at night) and I wish I had showered & cleaned up as soon as my epi had worn off, just to feel more like myself. Bring all the charging cables & any cute clothes you want to take pictures in. They will have everything else bring your own pillow though! Also anecdote-- if your hospital has you come to the ER when you're in labor, make sure your hubby moves your car to the right parking lot before they come in & yell at you for being parked in the ER for two days 😂😂

Extra!-- definitely have freezer meals ready to go for when you get home. Give yourself time to heal up afterwards too-- don't try to rush into everything right away.

On the topic of double stroller-- ALL my irl friends with two have one. I am kicking myself for not getting one that converted to a double, but now I have to deal with it. We will probably get the city select double stroller, in keeping an eye out on the swap pages since they are $$$$$. My DD will be a few months shy of 3 when this one comes and I know she wouldn't be able to keep up with tons of walking & since we live in a hot climate I won't want to be babywearing everywhere.

[amesie]

Jun 28, 2017 12:39:32 GMT -6 benandjerrys said:

The angel bottom balm was the only thing that touched the pain down there after 5 hours of pushing. It was amazing and I will be buying all of it this time around.

I had borrowed a Solly wrap and LOVED it. I will for sure buy one this time.

a solly wrap is on my list for this baby!! So glad to hear you loved it. I haven't used one but a couple ladies on my other BMB raved about it. I have a Tula for later months, but I'm gonna need something for the beginning months. I never used a wrap with DD

[watermelonseed]

dragonflyinn all welcome!! I need all the advice I can get haha

[watermelonseed]

Jun 28, 2017 13:24:40 GMT -6 mrsp84 said:

Products: You really only need a few things to survive the first month or so. Mine were: bottles, formula for supplementing the first few days, one piece pj's (lots), burp cloths, nose frieda, and the rock n play. DD lived in the RNP for the first 5 months of her life. It was amazing and easily portable!

Mat Leave Tips: Definitely get out every once in a while. If people want to come over to visit, let them and take a shower while they're there for some you time! I had DD the coldest year on record in MI and we had so much snow. I definitely got cabin fever because I was afraid to go anywhere with her due to road conditions and taking a newborn out gave me such anxiety. This time, I am planning to do the opposite!

Hospital Stay: if you plan on BF'ing, bring your pump. Bring old pairs of undies because they may get ruined, fuzzy slipper socks, nursing tanks and baby really only needs one outfit to go home in. DD was in a swaddle that was provided by the hospital and a shirt and diapers. Bring your own pillow. I was so happy I brought my own. OH! And if the hospital provides diapers, wipes, etc., stock up on that stuff and put it in your bag when the nurses aren't around. My nurses encouraged us to take as much as possible. I don't know if that's acceptable everywhere, but with their blessing, I wasn't turning down free diapers and wipes!

Extra: try making a few meals ahead of time and freezing them for easy prep after you're home. Also, I will say this to everyone because I felt so stressed and like I was failing as a mom: it's ok to not feel an immediate bond with baby. I realized I was so stressed out with trying to figure the whole BF thing out that I was starting to not really like my baby. Once I decided BF was not going to work for us (took me 6 weeks to be ok with that), I felt an instant sigh of relief come over me and I felt like a brand new person. It's ok if BF doesn't work out for you. I'm going to give a try again this time around, but in a little more relaxed manner because my DD was FF and she's a normal, sassy, toddler.

Are we twins? I also freaked out about BF'ing. FF was such a good choice. I immediately became a better mom.

[amesie]

Products: The cosleeper in our room was a life saver. We used the mini PNP in the beginning but it was awful. Having her in the cosleeper was way easier to get her in and out of MOTN since it's at the level of the bed and has a lower side. I want to get the sit me up this time too. We had the bumbo but wasn't very useful for too long. Also definitely invest in a good carrier!! My Tula is my love. DD loves it too. I had a beco Gemini that I used in the beginning and she hated it, which made me sad bc I thought she just hated being worn. But as soon as I got the Tula, she snuggled right into me and never made a peep. She still loves to be carried in it and she's 2!

Mat Leave Tips: definitely make freezer meals ahead of time! We had a meal train going for us through our church and had multiple meals made for us in the beginning. But once that wore off, I was able to dig into my freezer stash and it was amazing. I will definitely be doing more of it this time, since now we have a deep freezer!!

Hospital Stay: I packed wayyyy too much last time. I pretty much lived in my yoga pants and a nursing tank the whole 2 days, and DD wore the shirts and blankets they had there. We only put her in her going home outfit. Definitely pack slippers, your own pillows, and a nursing pillow.

Extra!

[rebeccabunch]

TTM to be here.

Couple general statements for those going from 1 to 2

The whole thing is different the second time around because it's less about WTF am I doing and more about how can I manage multiple kid's needs. When we just had DS1, my H and would spilt up a lot of duties so one parent was on and the other got a total break. We are back to doing that now but when you just have #2 I found that one of us would at least have one kid and it was an adjustment.

Be prepared to to think being just with the baby is the easy part and your older child is the hard one!

Products - I could write forever but I won't. Hands free pump bra and extra sets of pump parts were a must for me. I'm a super swaddler so I love A&A blankets. Basically think about what will make your life easier. I did a lot of setting up stations like extra pjs, diapers, burp cloths, shirt for me on every level so I wasn't running all over up/down the house bc depending on the age of your older one you can't just leave your baby w your older child. Luna bars and big water bottles handy.

Mat leave tips - not to expect everyday to be this rosy child loving fantasy I had in my mind. Some days will be better than expected. Some days will be a nightmare. I literally wanted to pop a bottle of champagne when I took both boys to Target alone when I was 2 weeks pp. You will get through it. It will be a memory and one day when you are a grandma you will wax poetically about how wonderful those crazy days were! DS1 was a very difficult baby and I kept reminding myself people have more than one kid on purpose most of the time. It must get better.

Oh if this is your second, your two kids may be very different. You could do the exact same thing w 2 that you did w 1 and it could yield different results. This is obvious but DS1 cried all day and would t nap but STTN since 3 weeks. DS2 did nothing but eat and sleep all day and still struggles to STTN at 2.5. You win some you lose some.

+1 to showering and making meals ahead

If you currently have childcare and can afford to keep it for older children while on leave, even at part time, do it.

Hospital Stay - I love the mesh underwear! I must be a weirdo! Yes to better pads like hiimjamie said. Always infinity makes really good overnight strength thin pads. Stock up! Have a bunch ready at home.

Even if you expect a vaginal delivery maybe pack one pair of pants that's not super tight. I had an unexpected C w DS1 and only packed tight yoga pants. What was I thinking? Eventually I wanted to wear something besides my gown but I didn't have the right pants.

This is a personal decision but I didn't send DS1 to the nursery at all because I was so worried it would impact BF. For DS2 I sent him each night! It was glorious.

DS1 was really sick when we went to bring DS2 home so he had to stay at my parents for 2 nights. My H and I got the first couple nights alone w DS2 at home and it was also glorious we kept joking it felt like we were at a relaxing spa just being w DS2. While I know that's not feasible in all cases, it helped us adjust. My parents are going to keep the boys for the first night we bring this baby home.

What else? We have the Uppababy Vista. I loved it for a single stroller but am not thrilled with their rumble seat option. I wish I'd gotten a Bob or Citi to begin with. DS1 is now too old for a stroller and DS2 refuses so maybe I'll like using the Vista again as a single!

People don't always agree with this but I don't always get the pressure to get the older child out of the crib for the new baby. Maybe it's because I didn't purchase expensive cribs but DS1 was just 2 when DS1 was born. He slept so good in his crib we decided the $100 on another crib was worth not dealing with another sleep variable. I realize some kids are totally ready for a bed but if I couldn't afford another crib I would've rather put my new baby in a PnP.

I had a lot to say!

[pippiann]

I have been eyeing the vista, i have the Cruz now. I want to sell that one and my single bob to get the vista. DS is a stroller baby sooo he'll probably be in one till he's 5. lol

I was lucky to have my MIL in town cooking every meal for me but stocking the freezer is a must.

I loved my swing/bouncer combo that was how i had breakfast every morning.

I also packed too much last time for the hospital this time I am just going to back a few nursing nightgowns and a going home outfit and call it a day.