Thursday is Terrific

[joelies]

I feel uncomfortable just reading about that cagoldi. I could almost understand if he was older, but he's so little. WTH... I'm so sorry, I can't imagine how awful that must have been for X and for you.

Sorry for the rough night, jewels.

lahdeedah - I had activities, extra classes and still juggled 2-3 jobs at a time to cover expenses. I had a lot of friends who were coddled through college and so many of them had epic crash and burn situations post-graduation because they had no clue how to manage their time or money. There's no time like now to start learning!

[inthekitty]

lahdeedah I would talk to your H about changing things up for the summer. It's the perfect time to say we helped you through your freshman year, now it's summer and you can get a job for extra $ that you might be able to continue through the school year. Because at this point she's used to that money and planning on it--so it should be made clear things are going to change and with the school year ending it's the perfect time. Does she have her housing covered (either through student aid or loans) and a meal plan? Just wondering if she has basics covered and this is for extras. I know inflation and all of that, but I definitely didn't have that much money at my disposal in college for fun money.

I think it's great to be a reserve help when young adults need it, but that they need to start trying to figure out how to do most of it on their own. It's the best way for them to learn how to budget, set priorities, and learn to manage money.

[lfig]

cagoldi that’s 1000% not how that should go down! Sierra’s therapist, in a situation like that, would have said “oh, you’re all done? Then you need to tell me ALL DONE”. And if she didn’t, then the therapist would hand over hand with S do the all done sign language while saying it. And then move on. Eventually after the next 2-3 tasks of doing it this way, S would get what she wanted and comply appropriately.

Your lady has lost her ever lovin mind!

[wedding]

May 9, 2019 9:14:45 GMT -6 cagoldi said:

That stinks, inthekitty. FX the swelling and pain subside quickly.

jewels so weird! I’ve also been told that Zyrtec can make the kids drowsy but I guess there’s always those outliers where they have the opposite effect. Doesn’t Benadryl do something similar to C, wedding.

tgrimes pizza for breakfast IS winning at life.

I’m sorry you had a rough night, lahdeedah. Very resourceful getting him to the barber so early! I would probably just give up and make him wear a hat.

It used to make him hyper. It was fun learning that after he had adhesion surgery and we were giving it to calm him. Luckily he grew out of that side effect and it just makes him sleepy.

[lahdeedah]

tallb I’m pretty sure she will be working this summer at home, so I want him to talk to her before next semester so it’s not a surprise, so to speak. We help with things like parking and books, etc. every semester. We don’t pay tuition. I think she gets some federal financial aid that helps with most tuition.

Again, I didn’t notice that money going to her, but I’m sure we could use it elsewhere. Now if we made a lot more, I’m sure that money would be no big deal, but I would still expect for her to work.

[guster]

Sorry for the rough night, jewels.
I knew the ice bucket rec was coming for you, inthekitty. Feel better!
I missed the poof, lahdeedah, but I bet he looked great! And also way to go on having such a great barber in your arsenal.

[lahdeedah]

May 9, 2019 10:42:13 GMT -6 inthekitty said:

lahdeedah I would talk to your H about changing things up for the summer. It's the perfect time to say we helped you through your freshman year, now it's summer and you can get a job for extra $ that you might be able to continue through the school year. Because at this point she's used to that money and planning on it--so it should be made clear things are going to change and with the school year ending it's the perfect time. Does she have her housing covered (either through student aid or loans) and a meal plan? Just wondering if she has basics covered and this is for extras. I know inflation and all of that, but I definitely didn't have that much money at my disposal in college for fun money.

I think it's great to be a reserve help when young adults need it, but that they need to start trying to figure out how to do most of it on their own. It's the best way for them to learn how to budget, set priorities, and learn to manage money.

Completely agree with this and just what I want him to do so it’s no surprise when September comes and she doesn’t get that money transfer.

[inthekitty]

lahdeedah, also if you wanted to give it consideration, you could possibly keep putting that $250 aside in a CD or other account for your SD. And maybe as a wedding gift or when she's ready for a house or something, surprise her with money for a down payment. We all look back at stupid things we did with our money and how nice it would have been to have put it towards something truly useful.

[guster]

cagoldi, that puts such a pit in my stomach. What a terrible way to deal with people.

[guster]

lahdeedah, I think I would continue the payment for this year, and then began to have conversations with her over the summer if that’s something you and yh feel strongly about.
I like the idea of putting that money into an account for her for later use.

[cagoldi]

May 9, 2019 11:28:50 GMT -6 guster said:

lahdeedah, I think I would continue the payment for this year, and then began to have conversations with her over the summer if that’s something you and yh feel strongly about.
I like the idea of putting that money into an account for her for later use.

This.

I very much like inthekitty’s approach to the whole situation.

Also, tallb makes good points about the whole dynamic WRT to step-parents.

[wedding]

cagoldi,I'm so sorry. That sounds horrible.

[mwhip]

lahdeedah That's a tough situation, what did you H say when you told him to quit sending? I think next time she is home, I'd sit her down and talk to her about finances. What is she using that money on? Is it something she really needs because of her class load, so she can't work? Is she struggling with her schedule? Or is she out at Starbucks every morning wearing new shoes?

I worked through college, but still had help from my parents, when I asked. I also had to pay them back every penny I borrowed. At the same time, I also put a shit load on credit cards that buried me as an adult.

College and college life are expensive and no one ever discussed finances with me until it was too late and I was thousands of dollars in debt.

I agree about kids feeling entitled, but if she legit needs the money, she should be able to let you all know.

[Sunny41]

May 9, 2019 8:45:10 GMT -6 inthekitty said:

May 9, 2019 8:41:09 GMT -6 tgrimes said:

What exactly did you do?  

We were doing kick drills on the bag. I did a side kick and didn't wait long enough for the bag to recoil before doing a back kick afterwards. So basically the bag was coming back towards me at the same time I struck it. My ankle is swollen and lumpy and the impact shot up about mid-calf. It hurts to walk or move it. I'm wearing regular work shoes, but I think I'm going to switch to comfy flip-flops today and not GAF.

ETA: I work with a bunch of MDs and I think one is an orthopedist, but they're mostly so odd I'd feel weird asking their opinion.

Compression socks and ktape

[Sunny41]

May 9, 2019 9:18:02 GMT -6 jewels said:

May 9, 2019 8:58:21 GMT -6 mwhip said:

If you find the thread, let me know.  I give Evie Zyrtec in the evenings since her eye selling.  The doctor she saw said it might cause drowsiness, so I figured evening was better than AM.  She also said with the pollen and shit in the air currently, it works better than Claritin.

Sorry for your rough night jewels .  I hope your day goes fast

That's interesting... I was reading a bunch on line last night and yes, the most common side effect is drowsiness, but not in everyone.  But the other thing I read was that zrtec works well for runny nose type symptoms but for itchy, swelling eyes and stuffiness (B's symptoms) it said that a nasal spray and steroid/antihistamine eye drops are better.  

B will fight me to the death to do either one of those things so I'm not looking forward to that...

Are you sure its zyrtec and not allegra? Zyrtec is 24hrs and allegra is 2x daily. I found allegra is the one that keeps E up.

Could it be an ear infection?

[jewels]

May 9, 2019 12:04:10 GMT -6 Sunny41 said:

May 9, 2019 9:18:02 GMT -6 jewels said:

That's interesting... I was reading a bunch on line last night and yes, the most common side effect is drowsiness, but not in everyone.  But the other thing I read was that zrtec works well for runny nose type symptoms but for itchy, swelling eyes and stuffiness (B's symptoms) it said that a nasal spray and steroid/antihistamine eye drops are better.  

B will fight me to the death to do either one of those things so I'm not looking forward to that...

Are you sure its zyrtec and not allegra? Zyrtec is 24hrs and allegra is 2x daily. I found allegra is the one that keeps E up.

Could it be an ear infection?

definitely zyrtec.  The instructions on the bottle said either 2.5 ml 2 times per day or 5 ml 1 time per day.  I had been doing it 2 times b/c I noticed it started to wear off around 11-12 hours in.  

The allergist finally called back and he said it is an extremely rare reaction to any of them but it does happen.  He is starting me on Allegra and giving me specific drops for his eyes since that's what he complains about the most.  

He said if the Allegra has a bad reaction to switch to Claritan.  That Claritan doesn't work that well, but it has 0 side effects.  So I'll stop and pick up the new meds tonight and hope he has a better night!

[Sunny41]

lahdeedah conversations are important at this stage. Each family dynamic is different. SD wants to have a car at college so she now has to get a job otherwise she would use her current job funds. She really doesn't have to study now like she will next year. As a parent spending $ on tuition I would have preferred to say she can't get a job her 1st semester and needs to adjust to college work load. But it's a reality that she is going to have a job since her mom informed her a few months ago they aren't really going to pay much. I think it would have been more responsible of her mom to say that prior to the college decision but whatever. I think it's very reasonable to say that she needs a job and needs to consider what she can afford. If she can't afford church trip with a job then give her the open door to ask for money for a certain thing but not a guarantee it will be given. And confirm with yh that it will be a joint discussion for approval.

[lahdeedah]

I pretty much let MH handle discussions with her. We aren’t that close and I don’t want to hinder the relationship we do have. I don’t know what she uses the money for because he just transfers 250 a month no questions asked. Since it’s May and the end of the semester, this month is the last month, but I need her to know this will not be continuing for next year. I would prefer if she needed something that she have to call and I say I need money for x,y,z so we can know. I think that’s why I never wanted to have to ask my parents for money. My dad always asked ‘for what?’ and I didn’t want to have to answer that question. The only time I did ask was if it was gas or food and that was when I was in high school.

We will give her money if she NEEDS it, but I need to know that she is at least trying to get what she wants by working hard. I mean, 250 can’t go that far every month, so I doubt it gives her a lot, but still, I’m not okay with it if she isn’t working.

I do like the idea of putting it aside for her for something that she’ll appreciate after college.

[lahdeedah]

Sunny41 If she is going to have to work, she should think about take a light workload or a weekend only job. I know a lot of parent’s don’t want their kid working the first semester/year, but I’m not sure I agree.

[klong11]

Happy Birthday vino!

[nam2013]

I had such a heartbreaking meeting with one of students at work today. A 13yo boy who believes there’s nothing to live for. He looked so young and small and innocent. I wanted to scoop him up, hug him and take him home. He got to me big time.

[nam2013]

vino happy birthday, live up to your name today!

[tgrimes]

vino

Happy Birthday!

[joelies]

Happy birthday vino!!!

[trtlcrzy]

Happy birthday vino!

[joelies]

I went to Colin's t-ball game and this is the roster for his new team:

Coach R
Assistant Coach R (DH - same name as coach)
Assistant Coach Colin
Colin (coach's son)
Colin (asst. coach's son, AKA DS)
Quinn (other asst. coach's little brother)
Finn
Matthew
Matthew
Maddie

No clue if either of the Matthew's goes by Matty, by how does this happen? There ARE kids and coaches in town with names that do not repeat or rhyme (or otherwise sound the same) - apparently our little league board has an odd sense of humor.

[trtlcrzy]

May 9, 2019 13:16:31 GMT -6 lahdeedah said:

I pretty much let MH handle discussions with her. We aren’t that close and I don’t want to hinder the relationship we do have. I don’t know what she uses the money for because he just transfers 250 a month no questions asked. Since it’s May and the end of the semester, this month is the last month, but I need her to know this will not be continuing for next year. I would prefer if she needed something that she have to call and I say I need money for x,y,z so we can know. I think that’s why I never wanted to have to ask my parents for money. My dad always asked ‘for what?’ and I didn’t want to have to answer that question. The only time I did ask was if it was gas or food and that was when I was in high school.

We will give her money if she NEEDS it, but I need to know that she is at least trying to get what she wants by working hard. I mean, 250 can’t go that far every month, so I doubt it gives her a lot, but still, I’m not okay with it if she isn’t working.

I do like the idea of putting it aside for her for something that she’ll appreciate after college.

This is how I was. No one was helping me out at all when I was college. I had to work if I wanted any spending money and to pay for my cell phone and car insurance bills. Very last resort was calling my dad, asking if he could give me money. One semester he did pay for my books. If my kids choose to go to college I’d like to make it a little easier on them than my parents did on me, but I also don’t want them to expect hand outs for no reason.

[inthekitty]

Oh my gosh joelies. What a mouthful. I'm laughing.

[inthekitty]

Have an amazing birthday vino!

[nam2013]

joelies that is hilarious!