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Post by quinstar on Feb 24, 2019 9:58:33 GMT -6
Sorry for not introducing myself and just blasting out a question. I was mostly ranting because I might be losing it a little more each time I step in a wet spot, or have to hunt down my water bottle because he stole it two minutes ago, and he's sopping wet now.
Anyways, hi. Mostly lurker here, came over from TCF with the move, DS1 is Mar17, and DS2 is due May19. Been meaning to come over and say hi here. Toddlers are hard and I'm tired.
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Post by billyhorrible on Feb 24, 2019 15:34:16 GMT -6
quinstar I would take a twofold approach. The first, what you're already doing - limit his interactions with water. The second, is give him opportunity to play with water. Cups in the bath or something like this: Baby Bath Toy - Flow N Fill Spout - 3 Stackable Cups and Waterfall Spout www.amazon.com/dp/B001R5TJ8G/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_d2WCCbZPJM9YQWhen the weather warms up, a water table outside he can go crazy with, or even now a bowl of water and a bunch of cups.
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Post by quinstar on Feb 24, 2019 16:19:00 GMT -6
billyhorrible, That's a good idea. We don't have a bathtub, so he only gets showers and I know he's missing out on a lot of water play. I try to give him time to enjoy his showers but it's never enough when they can't swoosh and splash. There's just not much we can do without making a giant mess with the shower door open. I wish I could find a shallow tub that would fit in our shower so he could have a 'bath', he only gets the chance when he's with his grandparents. He occasionally gets pots and pans to play with water, but that turns into dumping it all out and rolling around in it. Maybe some toys like those that suction to the shower wall and I could let him go wild. Winter's been rough on my outdoorsy kid. I plan on giving him sprinklers and pools constantly this summer.
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piratecat
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Post by piratecat on Feb 24, 2019 18:27:07 GMT -6
quinstar I like billyhorrible’s idea. I just set up a sensory bin for the first time for my 20 MO with snow from outside and a bunch of plastic containers and he loved it. We put it away for a while and played with it again after a lot of it had melted and spent another half hour pouring slushy water in and out of containers. I just put a towel down and told him we have to keep the snow inside the bin and the mess was pretty well contained. If you are worried you could double up on the containers, a smaller one inside a larger one or maybe your shower is big enough for him to sit inside with the bin? There are a lot of variations you could come up with too eventually, but since he doesn’t get to play in the bath I would think starting simple would be interesting and fun enough for him.
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piratecat
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Post by piratecat on Feb 24, 2019 18:53:34 GMT -6
quinstar and welcome! It can get slow around here but I’m so glad you joined us!
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Post by quinstar on Feb 24, 2019 19:47:17 GMT -6
piratecat, bring snow inside, that's so simple. He'd be in heaven once it melted a bit, and he's got beach toys to shovel and such with it. Doing that tomorrow.
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piratecat
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Post by piratecat on Feb 24, 2019 20:09:01 GMT -6
piratecat, bring snow inside, that's so simple. He'd be in heaven once it melted a bit, and he's got beach toys to shovel and such with it. Doing that tomorrow. I hope he loves it and it helps curb the water spilling obsession.
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piratecat
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Post by piratecat on Feb 26, 2019 7:31:15 GMT -6
J cries for his dad when I go to get him in the morning and cries and says bye bye over and over while I try to read to him at bedtime and it's starting to get to me.
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Post by sheilathetank on Feb 26, 2019 12:26:10 GMT -6
J cries for his dad when I go to get him in the morning and cries and says bye bye over and over while I try to read to him at bedtime and it's starting to get to me. Is he saying bye bye because he wants you to leave or because his dad isn't there?
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piratecat
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Post by piratecat on Feb 26, 2019 12:29:48 GMT -6
J cries for his dad when I go to get him in the morning and cries and says bye bye over and over while I try to read to him at bedtime and it's starting to get to me. Is he saying bye bye because he wants you to leave or because his dad isn't there? He wants me to leave and dad to do bedtime instead.
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Post by sheilathetank on Feb 26, 2019 14:13:50 GMT -6
Is he saying bye bye because he wants you to leave or because his dad isn't there? He wants me to leave and dad to do bedtime instead. I went through this with K for a long, long time. She barely sees her dad due to work schedules and then car show season for the spring and summer. If he was home we would switch off but let her choose who did bath and PJs and who did stories and goodnight. If he wasn't home I'd either call him so she could talk to him (mostly just her staring at the phone wondering why she could hear him but not see him) or I'd explain daddy could do stories when he was home next. Over time it evolved to where he would do stories and Tuck in but then I had to rub her back. Daddy couldn't rub her back. Then it's evolved to where he would only do stories. Now she mostly wants me for stories and bed I'm trying to hand her off. Lol. So all and all it's a phase. Push through. Find something he likes that only you do. MH is great at reading stories and does voices. I don't do that, but I sing songs to her and he doesn't. Things like that.
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piratecat
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Post by piratecat on Feb 26, 2019 14:31:58 GMT -6
He wants me to leave and dad to do bedtime instead. I went through this with K for a long, long time. She barely sees her dad due to work schedules and then car show season for the spring and summer. If he was home we would switch off but let her choose who did bath and PJs and who did stories and goodnight. If he wasn't home I'd either call him so she could talk to him (mostly just her staring at the phone wondering why she could hear him but not see him) or I'd explain daddy could do stories when he was home next. Over time it evolved to where he would do stories and Tuck in but then I had to rub her back. Daddy couldn't rub her back. Then it's evolved to where he would only do stories. Now she mostly wants me for stories and bed I'm trying to hand her off. Lol. So all and all it's a phase. Push through. Find something he likes that only you do. MH is great at reading stories and does voices. I don't do that, but I sing songs to her and he doesn't. Things like that. Sigh. He's preferred my H for a while now but he hasn't been so blatant about it and was able to recover pretty quickly until just recently. It's disheartening but I guess we'll get through it.
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piratecat
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Post by piratecat on Feb 26, 2019 14:32:34 GMT -6
He wants me to leave and dad to do bedtime instead. 💔 why are our babies so mean to us? I know right??
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piratecat
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Post by piratecat on Feb 26, 2019 14:35:15 GMT -6
On my birthday last week, my H went and got him in the morning and brought him into the bedroom so he could say good morning and happy birthday (which you know, I didn't actually expect him to say) and he actively looked away from me and cried "OATMEAL!" My kid loves oatmeal more than me.
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Post by sheilathetank on Feb 26, 2019 17:29:51 GMT -6
Just got back from the pediatrician and K dropped to the 5th percentile for height and 10th for weight. So we need to start pediasure and come back in three months. I'm really upset about this. We had to go back to weekly weight checks when she was 6th months because of growth issues. And it made me feel like a bad mom. This sucks.
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Post by billyhorrible on Feb 26, 2019 17:55:20 GMT -6
sheilathetank this has absolutely nothing to do with being a bad mom. A bad mom wouldn't even be taking her child to the doctor in the first place. You care about your child and that makes you a great mom. I'm guessing she's not malnourished, just little. Like a lot of kids. That's why it's a growth curve and not a line. She'll pick it up on her own timeline. My brother was "failure to thrive" and would only eat yogurt when he was about that age. And he turned into a chunky pre-teen and totally normal sized adult. I have a lot of similar stories with friends' kids who basically had to put butter on everything their child ate to get them to put on some weight. This will be fine. She will be fine. You are doing awesome.
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piratecat
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Post by piratecat on Feb 26, 2019 18:46:58 GMT -6
Oh sheilathetank, hugs. You’re absolutely not a bad mom. What percentile was she previously? My kid has always been on the small side and I felt really badly about it because I had low supply. But they say that about 80% of your height is determined by genetics and you really can’t force a kid to eat more than they want to eat. I do try to sneak fat and extra calories into things he likes to eat - what kinds of things does she like?
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Post by sheilathetank on Feb 27, 2019 15:01:38 GMT -6
Thanks piratecat, and billyhorrible, I try to not let my mind spiral in that direction but the weight thing has always been a problem. She was a big baby and was great on the growth charts until she was 6 weeks and then she started falling off in her weight. Her height was fine (i think 40-50th percentile) up until now. Mh is not a big person and I was never on the growth charts until puberty, but despite all that our pedi still focuses on the fucking chart. I would switch, but they are the only pedi that is local and that I can make work with work schedules. There is another doctor in the practice but he's an unemotional robot. Gives no fucks about her weight and height but has the bedside manner of a plaster wall. The pedi wasn't a dick about the weight thing and assured me up and down that she wasn't concerned but... then she wants us to do pediasure 2x a day and then come back in 3 months. I'm really annoyed/pissed that there was no mention or questions about her cognitive growth and all focus on her weight/height. She's overall healthy and is smart as a whip to the point where they moved her up into preschool room 4 months early and she's blowing the 3 and 4 year olds out of the water with what she learns and retains. Like fuck, I can't force her to eat. And I worked really, really hard to make sure she eats a well rounded diet, tries new foods, enjoys a wide variety of foods, and that we don't just stick to kids foods. That's all because I did NOT want her to end up overweight and a disordered eater like me. So now I'm worried that if I start plugging high carb/high fat into her diet it will get her into an unhealthy eating cycle that she won't be able to break out of easily once she hits her teen/college years. FUCK that's a wall of text. I have some feels about this obviously. Thanks for letting me get it out. Jaysus.
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piratecat
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Post by piratecat on Feb 27, 2019 15:41:30 GMT -6
sheilathetank, I'm sorry, I get your frustration. Since it was a relatively dramatic drop, I could see the pediatrician wanting to cover the bases though. I think kids grow at different rates so who knows, she might have a growth spurt and jump right back up or it'll be okay if she doesn't and settles where she is too. It sounds like she eats well and is healthy and is developing super well. I get your concern about encouraging her to eat fatty foods that might backfire later in life. I was thinking more like adding more healthy fats and proteins into her foods when you can - e.g. I have been adding quinoa in his oatmeal or extra nuts in the pesto, etc. - that she wouldn't even necessarily know about. I also try to remind myself that the whole percentile thing isn't a measurement of health, at all. She is at a healthy weight for her height.
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piratecat
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Post by piratecat on Feb 27, 2019 15:52:38 GMT -6
I picked up my kid at daycare yesterday (my H does 95% of drop off/pick up) and the little bugger started crying there too. It took like 10 minutes for me to calm him down and leave. The teacher was like, he was happy all day! and I told her he's just sad to see me instead of his dad. He used to run over and give me a hug. I get to pick him up again tonight - oh joy.
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Post by billyhorrible on Feb 27, 2019 17:21:17 GMT -6
sheilathetank I feel you on so much of what you wrote. I try really hard to give my kids a healthier relationship with food than I had/have. That being said, and with the understanding i have the same tiny voice in my head that speaks to you, i wouldn't worry about getting her addicted to fatty, unhealthy foods at her age. I wouldn't try to bulk her up on candy and cookies, but alfredo, french fries, etc. along with continuing the good habits you're instilling are not going to lead her into a lifetime of bad choices. I just got back from lunch with a friend who is struggling to keep weight on her 9 year old. They're seeing a nutritionist next week. Their current strategy is to try and get her to have 3 peanut butter cookies a day, and even that is a struggle.
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gingy
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Post by gingy on Feb 28, 2019 8:52:56 GMT -6
Aw, piratecat, that sucks. How did last night go?
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gingy
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Post by gingy on Feb 28, 2019 8:54:52 GMT -6
We got a dog a couple of weeks ago, and DS wants to eat his food and treats. I have spent more time in the last few days chasing him down to get the dog food out of his mouth than I have actually giving him human food.
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Post by sheilathetank on Feb 28, 2019 9:19:41 GMT -6
I picked up my kid at daycare yesterday (my H does 95% of drop off/pick up) and the little bugger started crying there too. It took like 10 minutes for me to calm him down and leave. The teacher was like, he was happy all day! and I told her he's just sad to see me instead of his dad. He used to run over and give me a hug. I get to pick him up again tonight - oh joy. This sucks and I'm sorry. It blows that they're too young to realize and appreciate all that we do for them. *hugs*
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Post by sheilathetank on Feb 28, 2019 9:21:41 GMT -6
We got a dog a couple of weeks ago, and DS wants to eat his food and treats. I have spent more time in the last few days chasing him down to get the dog food out of his mouth than I have actually giving him human food. chalk it up to extra protein in his diet and call it a day. K was obsessed with the cats food and it got to a point where fighting with it wasn't worth it. I mean if she was sitting there eating handfuls I'd put a stop to it but a piece or two I was like "at least you are quiet and not hanging on me while i try to cook dinner". MOTY obviously.
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piratecat
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Post by piratecat on Feb 28, 2019 9:25:18 GMT -6
gingy, sheilathetank, he was fine when I picked him up last night and put him to bed. He was sad this morning (my H is out of town) but got over it pretty quick.
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piratecat
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Post by piratecat on Feb 28, 2019 9:28:33 GMT -6
I feel lucky that my kid hasn't gotten into cat food and hardly ever messed with the water bowls on the floor. He does like to announce when the cats are done eating and insists on picking up the empty plates and placemats to put away. He has also recently learned to say "cat food" when I ask him what the cats eat. Sometimes I'll ask him what he or his dad had for breakfast and he answers "cat food" but I'm pretty sure he is joking.
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Post by sheilathetank on Feb 28, 2019 9:29:04 GMT -6
piratecat, we came up with a food gameplan last night to try and get more high calorie foods into her. Basically more nut butters, dried fruits, and hearty grains. I agree that the pedi is just doing her job, but it's frustrating when every other doctor we've seen basically says she's fine and I already went through this whole thing once in her live. It's definitely more a me problem because I admit I take this personally, like i've failed in some way shape or form. I know it's not true but man "failure to thrive" is an awful term to have thrown at you as a parent. The pediasure was a total fail. I even tried to make it into a "smoothie" for her so it wouldn't taste so bad. She kept saying she like it but when offered it would choose anything else to eat, drink, look at. lol. I can't really blame her, the smell reminds me of those Slimfast shakes and they tasted god awful. She did ask for some chocolate and in a stroke of genius i gave her a scoop of nutella, which is like 200 calories a tablespoon. Well she ate three whole spoonfuls before I had to cut her off. So we added nutella milkshakes to the plan.
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piratecat
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Post by piratecat on Feb 28, 2019 9:29:08 GMT -6
gingy sheilathetank I know a kiddo who ate a few pieces of regurgitated cat food so it could be much worse.
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gingy
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Post by gingy on Feb 28, 2019 9:31:55 GMT -6
Kids are gross.
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