tallb
Amethyst
Posts: 5,339 Likes: 33,902 
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Post by tallb on Dec 8, 2018 7:24:19 GMT -6
guster both my parents and ILs are divorced. I think I may be conditioned to wanting things, esp retirement, somewhat separate JIC. We are beneficiaries for each other's accts and all go into a trust if anything happens for the kids.
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guster
Emerald
Posts: 11,536 Likes: 67,147
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Post by guster on Dec 8, 2018 7:27:41 GMT -6
guster both my parents and ILs are divorced. I think I may be conditioned to wanting things, esp retirement, somewhat separate JIC. We are beneficiaries for each other's accts and all go into a trust if anything happens for the kids. I totally get that. It was surprising to me that it wasn’t anything he wanted to safeguard so soon after finalizing the divorce. |
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Post by snoopmommymom on Dec 8, 2018 7:34:06 GMT -6
guster I don’t think i knew YH was married before.
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guster
Emerald
Posts: 11,536 Likes: 67,147
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Post by guster on Dec 8, 2018 7:35:10 GMT -6
guster I don’t think i knew YH was married before. I think he forgets too. It feels like such a different time. |
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jewels
Opal
Posts: 8,460 Likes: 44,449
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Post by jewels on Dec 8, 2018 7:37:43 GMT -6
guster I don’t think i knew YH was married before. I was just thinking the same thing! |
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guster
Emerald
Posts: 11,536 Likes: 67,147
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Post by guster on Dec 8, 2018 7:41:09 GMT -6
guster I don’t think i knew YH was married before. I was just thinking the same thing! Even crazier, I went to his wedding. He’s been my colleague since ‘05, and got married in ‘06. Pdq, I’ll probably poof. Not even sure why. |
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lfig
Sapphire
Posts: 4,464 Likes: 34,087
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Post by lfig on Dec 8, 2018 7:46:14 GMT -6
We have a joint account. Have since about 3 months before we got married. I was a nanny and we were moving here 2 weeks after the wedding for his job. The family I nannied for hired an au pair from Germany because they knew I was leaving. So once I helped get her settled into the job to replace me I was jobless. So that’s when we added me to his account and I sponged off him till I got a job once we moved. 😉. I started paying all the bills and it just kinda stuck. He’d be clueless as to what needed paid and when if something ever happened to me. He jokes that we could be millionaires or a million dollars in debt and he’d never know. I assure him we aren’t millionaires. Lol. Sometimes the stress of managing it all gets to me. But I also like the control. Lol.
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Post by wineallthetime on Dec 8, 2018 8:22:02 GMT -6
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vino
Opal
Posts: 9,054 Likes: 56,450
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Post by vino on Dec 8, 2018 9:33:10 GMT -6
We had separate accounts for the longest time and then created a joint account when we bought the house, then each of us put in a percentage of our take home pay so it was equal.
Extended health benefits are taken right off our paycheques, well he pays $4 per month...hilariously small amount, I’m sure the admin fees larger than that..who knows, and our work pensions are separate with each of us listed as pension partners.
When we got pregnant with B I budgeted everything and gave him a number that he needed to put into the joint account to start saving to cover for my year maternity leave. Apparently it was too much for him to figure out so he just transferred all his money to the joint and and changed the direct deposit. I changed my direct deposit but keep a small account for myself that I have money in.
I manage all the money, bills etc and keep a detailed budget that’s not hidden anywhere but he never looks at it.
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trtlcrzy
Moderator 
Posts: 10,085 Likes: 58,458
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Post by trtlcrzy on Dec 8, 2018 10:18:28 GMT -6
slenle, I'm not sure what thread you were talking about where you said you drew names for the kids vs buying for all 11. 11 kids to buy for is a ton! On my side there are 6 (soon to be 7) kids and we buy for our God children (or honorary God children for my sister's kids who aren't baptized) so I have 2 to buy for. I love that I can spend more on their gifts. 11 kids I'd be handing out some coloring books or something! Yeah, I have 8 nieces and nephews and it’s gotten to be too much. I buy a godchild ornament for my goddaughter/ niece every year. But then last year instead of buying something for everyone we did a white elephant thing for the kids on my side of the family (which is all of them but 1). |
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trtlcrzy
Moderator
Posts: 10,085 Likes: 58,458
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Post by trtlcrzy on Dec 8, 2018 10:52:25 GMT -6
We have 2 checking accounts: our joint account and “his account”. The reason we have 2 is that our mortgage is at a different bank and it’s just easier to have money put in that account to pay it. We both have credit cards that we both have cards for.
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klong11
Ruby
Posts: 15,002 Likes: 86,174
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Post by klong11 on Dec 8, 2018 12:05:02 GMT -6
All of our money is separate. We each have bills assigned to us. After we are done with DC, then we will split the mortgage bill.
I pay for basically all of Cadence, other than her health insurance, which is through mh's work instead of mine. To add her to mine is $$$.
ETA: he does pay half for her big expenses like her $900 braces that she's broken after not even 3 months. 😑
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lfig
Sapphire
Posts: 4,464 Likes: 34,087
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Post by lfig on Dec 8, 2018 12:11:07 GMT -6
All of our money is separate. We each have bills assigned to us. After we are done with DC, then we will split the mortgage bill. I pay for basically all of Cadence, other than her health insurance, which is through mh's work instead of mine. To add her to mine is $$$. ETA: he does pay half for her big expenses like her $900 braces that she's broken after not even 3 months. 😑 $900?! That’s after insurance? I just got the bill for Sierra’s AFO’s and it was only $200 after insurance. |
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klong11
Ruby
Posts: 15,002 Likes: 86,174
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Post by klong11 on Dec 8, 2018 12:38:23 GMT -6
All of our money is separate. We each have bills assigned to us. After we are done with DC, then we will split the mortgage bill. I pay for basically all of Cadence, other than her health insurance, which is through mh's work instead of mine. To add her to mine is $$$. ETA: he does pay half for her big expenses like her $900 braces that she's broken after not even 3 months. 😑 $900?! That’s after insurance? I just got the bill for Sierra’s AFO’s and it was only $200 after insurance. Yep. It's ridiculous. I feel like his insurance doesn't pay for anything. |
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cagoldi
Opal
Vegan Demon
Posts: 8,349 Likes: 53,471
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Post by cagoldi on Dec 10, 2018 9:41:22 GMT -6
guster both my parents and ILs are divorced. I think I may be conditioned to wanting things, esp retirement, somewhat separate JIC. We are beneficiaries for each other's accts and all go into a trust if anything happens for the kids. Same. |
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cagoldi
Opal
Vegan Demon
Posts: 8,349 Likes: 53,471
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Post by cagoldi on Dec 10, 2018 10:04:28 GMT -6
Happy belated birthday, tallb! |
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sing2phins
Silver
And so we beat on, boats against the current
Posts: 380
Likes: 2,337
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Post by sing2phins on Dec 18, 2018 15:14:13 GMT -6
wedding , I missed your tag, but that's who I used, too! Did you see the pic I tagged you in? So many people on FB asked me about the shop, so she should be getting busy! Also, when I took it to be framed at Michael's, the poor girl behind the counter started crying and told me she lost her 19-year-old cat (older than she was) last year.
ETA: I have no idea what day it is, what day you tagged me here, when I tagged you with his picture, but I just reread that thread and saw you tagged me there, too! Sorry!
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