Randoms - Week of Nov 5th

[Taitai]

It’s the first full week of November...the month of my favorite holiday...Thanksgiving!



How is everyone managing DST? Surviving those early wake ups?

[Taitai]

My house....is void of houseguests! It was fun to spend time with my friends for sure, but we’re also reeeeeeaaaaalllllly happy to have things back to normal.

[cythe]

Day 2 of daylight savings was worse than day 1, so that's not encouraging.

Also yesterday MH and I got into it over yardwork of all things. I guess I spoiled him the first 5 years of our (childless) marriage by being able to be at home doing all the house and yardwork. Now, however he seems to think that because he works full time that he can just come home each night and sit on his computer.

I do everything at home: all the cooking, cleaning, laundry, parenting, finances and I guess mowing and raking leaves. He literally goes to work. I'm done with it, he can fucking help me. I'm still salty about it as you can tell.

[Taitai]

cythe That’s ridiculous. Make him watch E for 2 days straight with no break - and do all the cooking, cleaning, laundry, yard work, etc. After those 2 days are up - ask him if he still thinks the type of division of labor he is expecting is fair.

It’s not the 1950s anymore. Ummm....and in the 1950s, men still did yard work and took out the garbage. WTAF.

Sorry - this type of bullshit hits a nerve with me.

[doodlemommy]

I want to nut punch your H cythe. No. Just no.

DH has come a long way from being the youngest of 5 who literally never had to do anything and sometimes I still get frustrated. I have explained to him that one of my biggest sources of frustration is if I am working on house stuff and he is sitting on his phone/watching tv. It makes me RAGE. I am cool with like a 5-10 min break when he gets home. My DH always says he doesn’t know what to do, which a bit 🙄 but if I give him a task he’ll do it. Also, having him take 5 weeks of parental leave where I was working 3 days each of those weeks really made him realize what I was all doing behind the scenes. I still do more around the house/parenting than he does but I am also only working part time so I do a lot on those off days. The mental load of appointments, errands, to do lists etc is all me but honestly I’m a control freak and I like lists etc so i’d probably struggle to relinquish.

Could you start with a simple division of outside/inside chores? We started there when we were first married and then DH has taken on more over the years, especially as we had kids. I have literally never mowed, dealt with the furnace or water filters, or raked, and have shovelled and vacuumed only a handful of times in 6.5 years, usually as a favour to DH when he was working late. He has never cleaned a bathroom, done diaper laundry, or taken a kid to any appointment solo (he has come along). Everything else gets divided on a day to day/week to week basis

[doodlemommy]

Sorry for the novel cythe 😬 Clearly like Taitai that strikes a major nerve with me

[cythe]

doodlemommy I really think I need to make a detailed list of things I'd like him to do regularly. He really does better with notice "on Saturday we are doing X" as opposed to just telling him we are doing it now. Also your H sounds like my H on the "I dont know how to do that" front. Literally anytime I ask him to do something its "but I dont know how" WELL IM GLAD YOU ASKED LET ME SHOW YOU.

[doodlemommy]

Nov 5, 2018 8:11:04 GMT -6 cythe said:

doodlemommy I really think I need to make a detailed list of things I'd like him to do regularly. He really does better with notice "on Saturday we are doing X" as opposed to just telling him we are doing it now. Also your H sounds like my H on the "I dont know how to do that" front. Literally anytime I ask him to do something its "but I dont know how" WELL IM GLAD YOU ASKED LET ME SHOW YOU.

Haha I just answer with either “yes you do” or “you’re a big boy, figure it out”. No patience over here for that nonsense 😜 If he legit doesn’t know I will obviously show him, but saying “I don’t know how” is not a valid excuse in my mind

And yes, I do think an actual list of everything that gets done and splitting it up is a great plan. SAH is a job too, so by that reasoning you should get to go on your computer at whatever 8 hours post E’s wake up in the morning is. Honestly if there is any way you can leave him with E for a day or even overnight he will understand it better. The first time DH was alone with DD it was eye opening. He knew the drill with DS but those 5 weeks were gold. I am going to a conference in a couple weeks and he is home with both kids for 4 days and I am pretty stoked

[cythe]

SAHMs - where do you guys go with the kids for fun? E isnt standing on her own, no crawling or walking so anywhere we go shes basically stationary. Shes definitely bored at home.

**I just checked our local library and they have story time for kids under 13mo 1 day a week, during her nap time. Wheee

[doodlemommy]

Nov 5, 2018 9:44:55 GMT -6 cythe said:

SAHMs - where do you guys go with the kids for fun? E isnt standing on her own, no crawling or walking so anywhere we go shes basically stationary. Shes definitely bored at home.

**I just checked our local library and they have story time for kids under 13mo 1 day a week, during her nap time. Wheee

Well I was going to suggest the library programs 😬 Even just the library when there are no programs if they have a kids area. Is there a story time for older kids at a better time? Also we have a membership to the zoo, indoor botanical gardens and another city facility with an indoor play place (it’s one combo membership). Those are better once they are mobile but DS enjoyed them all in a stroller or carrier too. Also the mall just to walk around and have different things to look at. We also have a coffee shop with a huge kids area (like play structure, road track with vehicles etc) that we go to in the winter when they are getting stir crazy. It’s not free so we don’t go super regularly but it’s fun for an occasional play date. Ours has a baby area that would be ok for non mobile kids too

[doodlemommy]

Ironically my H is home from work today cythe and he is so trained now (don’t get me wrong, it has been years to get here) that he asked what he needed to do today and unloaded and reloaded the dishwasher before breakfast 👍 Meanwhile I picked up a peppermint mocha after preschool drop off when I grabbed my grocery order and am snuggling an almost napping DS. I can hear him unpacking groceries downstairs haha

[CoachTsWife]

Oh cythe. Big nope to that nonsense.



So much nope. Striking a nerve here, too, so I won't go on. doodlemommy gave good advice.

As for activities, I'm not a good one to ask, but my kids love going to the store. They love to people watch and ride in a shopping cart. Target is always fun. The zoo is another go-to for us.

[CoachTsWife]

LO tripped on a towel on the floor of the bathroom yesterday morning and face-planted on the side of the tub. He has a busted, fat lip. It was so hard to tell where the blood was coming from in his mouth because OF COURSE he wouldn't let us look. Would not allow me to ice his lip (OF COURSE). He got over it fairly quick, though, and eating/drinking didn't seem to bother him yesterday.

[cythe]

To be clear, I didn't mean to single out the SAHMs vs the working moms. I just needed to emphasize the direness of the home boredom situation haha

[cythe]

Nov 5, 2018 12:02:16 GMT -6 CoachTsWife said:

LO tripped on a towel on the floor of the bathroom yesterday morning and face-planted on the side of the tub. He has a busted, fat lip. It was so hard to tell where the blood was coming from in his mouth because OF COURSE he wouldn't let us look. Would not allow me to ice his lip (OF COURSE). He got over it fairly quick, though, and eating/drinking didn't seem to bother him yesterday.

Oh man, I'm glad he doesn't seem to fussed by it! Poor tiny, drunk humans!

[curmudgeon]

I’m late but I have always taken care of the majority, if not all, of the chores and financials. H doesn’t even know our bank account numbers. We pay guys to mow but I’m the one mulching and planting and weeding and fertilizing. It’s exhausting. I’ve threatened to get a house cleaner and that seemed to light a fire under him. I also do petty, passive aggressive things like start the dishwasher with everything but his dirty dishes.

[curmudgeon]

Also, I’m leaving tomorrow for the week and am legit scared of what the house may look like when I come back.

[danvers]

Long days here. Both girls slept in till reasonable hours this morning so H and I could get ready for work. Win!

I don’t know how you people who do work meetings all the time manage it. We do teacher staff type meetings once a month and I’m ready to walk out or get myself fired after each one. I cannot stand what comes out of the mouths of supposedly educated adults or listening to my boss drone. Seriously. You people who do meetings days in and days out are much more patient and tolerant than me.


I’m forcing myself to stay up till 9 tonight because I was wide awake at 4:15 this morning. Hoping I adjust quickly to this DST nonsense too!

[doodlemommy]

DS has decided to become picky about food the last couple days. I am blaming being overtired from daylight savings and a weekend of not great naps but man is it frustrating. Supper tonight was chilli and garlic biscuits and green beans. He would normally eat all of those things and tonight he would only eat biscuit and shredded cheese. He refused to eat anything else, taking it out of his mouth and feeding it to the dog 😠

[Taitai]

CoachTsWife Sorry about your little guy face planting! At least he recovered quickly. The drunken sailor new walking stage is hard.

August Blooms Get in here! Happy you got home okay, and that your MIL is leaving soon! That’s okay weaning didn’t happen- sounds like your LO is really happy you are back home!

curmudgeon Good luck with your trip - hope you can enjoy some sleeeeeep, and that the house doesn’t get destroyed while you are gone.

doodlemommy Those are all great suggestions for getting out of the house 👍

[Taitai]

I never thought my house was a particularly orderly or quiet place - but boy, last night seemed like tranquil heaven with it being just myself, DH, and LO. I guess I had gotten used to how crazy my friend’s 2 yr old is.

Not much planned for today. Just going to get as much work done as possible and not try to stress to much about the us elections overnight while I am sleeping. I need to force myself NOT to check my phone MOTN to see what’s going on. I’d rather just wake up to the news of whatever happens.

[cythe]

I was feeling particularly lazy regarding baby dinner yesterday so I got those happy tots packaged dinners (E eats at 5:30 and H and I eat at 7:30/8). Anyway i got her the squash ravioli as well as an oatmeal for this morning.

Anyway, she ate both- very begrudgingly. And I cant even be mad about throwing away $6 on 2 baby meals because they both looked and smelled disgusting. Lesson learned!

[Taitai]

Happy Election Day to all the Americans! Don’t forget to vote!

[CoachTsWife]

I voted on my way to work this morning. When DH went by our polling location at 6am the line was out the door so he'll have to go after school. There weren't any lines after I dropped the boys off so I was in and out fairly quickly.

[doodlemommy]

I am waiting for DH’s car to get an oil change at the dealership. I told him this is the last time I am doing it. It used to take 45 minutes, today they told me 1.5 hours. I have both kids, it is now nap time, still no car. DS had the hugest gross wet poop that came out the top of his cloth diaper onto his onesie...that has literally never happened before. The back up shirt I had was short sleeved and apparently too short so it is just tucked into his pants and he has to wear his coat. While I was attempting to clean up poomagedon DD inexplicably BIT DS’s finger! He screamed, I yelled, she cried. All while in a tiny bathroom with poop everywhere. We are recovered, car is still not done. I want to leave this place!!!!!!!!!

[cythe]

**trigger warnings for school violence**


Theres a kid (I assume) making school shooting and bomb threats at one of the high schools where I grew up today. It's really scaring but also really annoying.

This kid is posting the threats on Reddit, claiming to be an employee, then claims to be ISIS and is taunting local police and the FBI which is now involved. I highly doubt it's an employee, their grammar and spelling is just way too hideous - not that such things are important when threatening the lives of hundreds of kids.

Anyway, I'm just annoyed that they havent found the kid and knocked his door in yet. He only posted them this morning, but still.

Classes are still going on, of course with heightened security and police presence. I believe the school has had metal detectors for years already. Parents can and have been pulling their kids from school today, presumably until everything is resolved. Just makes me sick.

Like really, really poor English.

SPOILER: Click to show

[August Blooms]

After last nights enchilada request my MIL made the right decision and made herself scarce. They took the car and went out and didn’t come home until we were in bed. Turns out her health is worse than she says so today I packed my patience and empathy and somehow managed to get through most of the day, I’m currently hiding in the basement eating Halloween candy as part of that strategy. Then off to pick the kids up from daycare and then out for dinner.

[August Blooms]

cythe That is so fucked up. WTF is wrong with that person, I’m sure if he hasn’t been caught already they’ll be knocking on that door soon.

doodlemommy I had that happen to me with one kid and waiting in car dealerships is the worst.


I’m not the best person to give advice on the division of labor with DH since I manage the finances and got a cleaning person and we are in therapy to address the issues surrounding it. His entitlement was put in check during the first session. Marriage is hard and we need to do better at working as a team. Somehow things have got better since I’ve gone back to work 🤷🏼‍♀️

[danvers]

cythe those baby dinners do indeed smell gross! I got them one time thinking it would be so nice and easy to make one for DD1 when H is out for b-ball but yuck! She didn’t touch it and I couldn’t blame her. Never again.

August Blooms the only way I deal with my inlaws is to hide and nurse the baby at times. Enjoy that candy!!

doodlemommy oh my - that’s was quite the adventure you all had. I hope your evening was quiet and easy!

Taitai I usually check here first before reading the news so maybe just let me know if I should just stick to Pinterest tomorrow instead of social media and news sites. I’m not staying up tonight and 2016 really broke me and I’m just not sure I can handle the disappointment for 2018. 😬

[danvers]

I voted last week so I took the girls today so H could get into our voting place. Then I stopped by the drive thru convince store to get a large fountain Dr. Pepper which was a good choice because the students were crazy today (and they don’t allow whine at school 🤪)!



*drive thru convince stores are the oddest thing to me but I’ve grown to love them now. No getting out of the car for a gallon of milk, just drive on through (we have no “grocery drive up service here y’all - small town life and such)