piratecat
Diamond
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Post by piratecat on Sept 25, 2018 13:05:42 GMT -6
Boo. I'm sorry, piratecat . Even if you didn't really care, it still sucks! Thanks. I'd already had a huge fight with her over the same issue the night of my sister's wedding. Somehow my husband being too drunk to leave her house that night forced me to talk it out with her but she and my sister didn't speak for a long time after that. That all sucked enough and we had mostly gotten past it by the time I was getting married so it just wasn't worth it to go through it all over again.
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emma
Ruby
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Post by emma on Sept 25, 2018 13:06:07 GMT -6
This is why I do not want to have any type of wedding or celebration a second time around. I am trying to wait until people forget that we are engaged and then one day we'll just send out an announcement that we are married! and then ask people to buy you new running shoes!
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piratecat
Diamond
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Post by piratecat on Sept 25, 2018 13:06:52 GMT -6
Hm, I'm not sure how they are related. It's likely that a lot of my issues stem from my mother, although I like to think that she doesn't have that effect on me. Because your mom is making it into a thing by taking the money since she was the one that gave the money to the others. She was the one who told your sister to invite more people to make a profit I guess. She is definitely very transactional and entitled about the whole thing but I also recognize that she is definitely not the norm.
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Pizzaslut
Ruby
*it’s a joke. get some hobbies.
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Post by Pizzaslut on Sept 25, 2018 13:08:44 GMT -6
My fam only gives cash. And then you write in the little book what they gave you. So then when your cousin gets married ten years later, your mom can call you and ask what his mom gave you for your wedding. Are you Italian?
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Post by angelashly on Sept 25, 2018 13:09:56 GMT -6
and then ask people to buy you new running shoes! Obvi. invite Cher she will give you $$$
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Cher
Global Moderator
BMB, GD, Special Interests
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Post by Cher on Sept 25, 2018 13:12:55 GMT -6
invite Cher she will give you $$$ I was literally about to tell Wino she could invite me to her second wedding. Literally whenever we talk about weddings, I feel like I have a different feel than most people on the board. Feed me, booze me, let me dress up and dirty dance with my dude. I’m happy to throw you a check and I’ll be so stoked to be there for your day.
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Post by theseaword on Sept 25, 2018 13:19:48 GMT -6
My fam only gives cash. And then you write in the little book what they gave you. So then when your cousin gets married ten years later, your mom can call you and ask what his mom gave you for your wedding. Are you Italian? Yes. My ancestors arrived from the old country with nothing in their pockets except the sacred Record Of Wedding Gifts.
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Post by angelashly on Sept 25, 2018 13:20:05 GMT -6
invite Cher she will give you $$$ I was literally about to tell Wino she could invite me to her second wedding. Literally whenever we talk about weddings, I feel like I have a different feel than most people on the board. Feed me, booze me, let me dress up and dirty dance with my dude. I’m happy to throw you a check and I’ll be so stoked to be there for your day. I love weddings. Just don't ask me to be a bridesmaid (except my sisters). I want to just attend and have fun
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Cher
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Post by Cher on Sept 25, 2018 13:21:44 GMT -6
I was literally about to tell Wino she could invite me to her second wedding. Literally whenever we talk about weddings, I feel like I have a different feel than most people on the board. Feed me, booze me, let me dress up and dirty dance with my dude. I’m happy to throw you a check and I’ll be so stoked to be there for your day. I love weddings. Just don't ask me to be a bridesmaid (except my sisters). I want to just attend and have fun Anyone who’s wedding I have been in, were in mine. So I feel like we have a pact to suck it up and do it for each other.
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Pizzaslut
Ruby
*it’s a joke. get some hobbies.
Posts: 22,728 Likes: 131,010
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Post by Pizzaslut on Sept 25, 2018 13:22:58 GMT -6
Yes. My ancestors arrived from the old country with nothing in their pockets except the sacred Record Of Wedding Gifts. Lol, same. You should’ve heard it from my family when my computer crashed and I lost the updated gift log.
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Post by angelashly on Sept 25, 2018 13:23:06 GMT -6
I love weddings. Just don't ask me to be a bridesmaid (except my sisters). I want to just attend and have fun Anyone who’s wedding I have been in, were in mine. So I feel like we have a pact to suck it up and do it for each other. I've done my share of weddings. now if we ever get married it will be dd and my sisters and that is it
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Post by calendula on Sept 25, 2018 13:25:50 GMT -6
My fam only gives cash. And then you write in the little book what they gave you. So then when your cousin gets married ten years later, your mom can call you and ask what his mom gave you for your wedding. Are you Italian? My Italian grandmother was pulling this until the day she died. The last time I saw her, in fact, I got an earful about who had and who hadn't visited her, and how unfortunate it was that she spent all those years visiting dying relatives and the nerve of some people... Keeping track of people the way my Italian relatives do is seriously a full time job.
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Post by mothafuckinteatime on Sept 25, 2018 13:29:27 GMT -6
invite Cher she will give you $$$ I was literally about to tell Wino she could invite me to her second wedding. Literally whenever we talk about weddings, I feel like I have a different feel than most people on the board. Feed me, booze me, let me dress up and dirty dance with my dude. I’m happy to throw you a check and I’ll be so stoked to be there for your day. How do you feel about Nashville in January?
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Cher
Global Moderator
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Post by Cher on Sept 25, 2018 13:30:43 GMT -6
I was literally about to tell Wino she could invite me to her second wedding. Literally whenever we talk about weddings, I feel like I have a different feel than most people on the board. Feed me, booze me, let me dress up and dirty dance with my dude. I’m happy to throw you a check and I’ll be so stoked to be there for your day. How do you feel about Nashville in January? Send a bitch an invite. brux can be my date. I’ll give the gift. Brux, can tuck me into our bunk beds when I black out.
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Post by angelashly on Sept 25, 2018 13:31:18 GMT -6
How do you feel about Nashville in January? Send a bitch an invite. brux can be my date. I’ll give the gift. Brux, can tuck me into our bunk beds when I black out. OH
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brux
Diamond
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Post by brux on Sept 25, 2018 13:32:10 GMT -6
How do you feel about Nashville in January? Send a bitch an invite. brux can be my date. I’ll give the gift. Brux, can tuck me into our bunk beds when I black out. I'm C list, tho, so I may be persona non grata. Put me down under an alias.
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Cher
Global Moderator
BMB, GD, Special Interests
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Post by Cher on Sept 25, 2018 13:32:29 GMT -6
Send a bitch an invite. brux can be my date. I’ll give the gift. Brux, can tuck me into our bunk beds when I black out. OH We’re coming to your Midwest soirée the minute the invites come out.
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brux
Diamond
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Post by brux on Sept 25, 2018 13:33:07 GMT -6
I can think of nothing more exciting to me than showing up to a wedding reception of an internet person I've never met or even exchanged names or PMs with.
I'm being 100% serious.
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Cher
Global Moderator
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Post by Cher on Sept 25, 2018 13:34:14 GMT -6
I can think of nothing more exciting to me than showing up to a wedding reception of an internet person I've never met or even exchanged names or PMs with. I'm being 100% serious. There was a wedding at the hotel I was at this weekend. I became best vacation friends with some 50-something yo man on vacation and we spent most of the week talking about how we would crash it.
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maybe
Sapphire
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Post by maybe on Sept 25, 2018 13:34:52 GMT -6
I should also add that I basically have no friends remaining who are unmarried, at least once. So I have strong opinions about something that doesn't really impact all that regularly because I'm far out of regular wedding season. "Strong opinions about something that doesn't really impact me" is my life motto tho. My friends are starting second weddings and I agree, they aren't getting gifts. One of them had a Neiman Marcus registry for the first wedding where a single fork was still $110 so she is getting nada.
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Post by angelashly on Sept 25, 2018 13:37:30 GMT -6
I can think of nothing more exciting to me than showing up to a wedding reception of an internet person I've never met or even exchanged names or PMs with. I'm being 100% serious. I can send you a PM if it makes you feel closer
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ripper
Opal
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Post by ripper on Sept 25, 2018 13:37:37 GMT -6
Wait wait wait. YOUR MOM TOOK THE MONEY? This is not the same as just keeping track of what has been given. The people getting married still get the money. Folk are simply making sure the exchanges are even. I am fairly certain because it is not likely that they just gave cards with no cash. I never confronted her because I didn't care about the money and it wasn't worth fighting her over.And yea, I get that it is not the same. Keeping a notebook or spreadsheet is probably fairly normal. My mom is not that. I understand the concept of stuff not being worth fighting over, but it is v. weird to me that you would just overlook this and not mention it at all. This is so foreign to me, this type of family dynamic.
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willow
Ruby
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Post by willow on Sept 25, 2018 13:53:28 GMT -6
I will more than likely be engaged by the end of the year and married for the second time by mid next year, and I hope no one buys me anything this time. I also specifically told my friends already that I didn’t want a shower or bachelorette lol.
It will be my SOs first wedding but he’s 35 and we don’t need people to buy us mini appliances. Just come and party with us.
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willow
Ruby
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Post by willow on Sept 25, 2018 13:56:46 GMT -6
How do you feel about Nashville in January? Send a bitch an invite. brux can be my date. I’ll give the gift. Brux, can tuck me into our bunk beds when I black out. ::makes mental note:: brux wouldn’t even have to travel. 😏
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soup
Platinum
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Post by soup on Sept 25, 2018 14:04:36 GMT -6
I am fairly certain because it is not likely that they just gave cards with no cash. I never confronted her because I didn't care about the money and it wasn't worth fighting her over.And yea, I get that it is not the same. Keeping a notebook or spreadsheet is probably fairly normal. My mom is not that. I understand the concept of stuff not being worth fighting over, but it is v. weird to me that you would just overlook this and not mention it at all. This is so foreign to me, this type of family dynamic. It’s not foreign to me. Not everybody has a beautiful open line of communication with her parents. I certainly don’t with my father. And, while we may not have this particular issue, we have plenty of other issues, enough for a Netflix original film, in fact. LOL. You’re not alone, piratecat. And I’m sure it’s not just me and you either.
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piratecat
Diamond
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Post by piratecat on Sept 25, 2018 14:08:52 GMT -6
I am fairly certain because it is not likely that they just gave cards with no cash. I never confronted her because I didn't care about the money and it wasn't worth fighting her over.And yea, I get that it is not the same. Keeping a notebook or spreadsheet is probably fairly normal. My mom is not that. I understand the concept of stuff not being worth fighting over, but it is v. weird to me that you would just overlook this and not mention it at all. This is so foreign to me, this type of family dynamic. It is surely not normal or healthy. I have had a few serious disagreements with her in the past so I know how difficult and draining that is for me. At the end of the day, I have to ask myself if I am ready to cut her out of my life over it, temporarily or long term, because that is almost always where it ends up, and that particular issue wasn't it. I think part of it is cultural and part of it is my mother's mental health.
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rayann
Platinum
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Post by rayann on Sept 25, 2018 14:15:54 GMT -6
I love to go to weddings. I recently decided to just give cash instead of trying to buy off a registry. One of my close friends just got engaged and I hope she has a big wedding.
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piratecat
Diamond
Posts: 36,035 Likes: 143,914
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Post by piratecat on Sept 25, 2018 17:56:26 GMT -6
I understand the concept of stuff not being worth fighting over, but it is v. weird to me that you would just overlook this and not mention it at all. This is so foreign to me, this type of family dynamic. It’s not foreign to me. Not everybody has a beautiful open line of communication with her parents. I certainly don’t with my father. And, while we may not have this particular issue, we have plenty of other issues, enough for a Netflix original film, in fact. LOL. You’re not alone, piratecat. And I’m sure it’s not just me and you either. Thanks soup. It’s a weird and strained dynamic for sure. My H comes from the most normal family and has had a hard time understanding it at times. I’m sorry that you have a similarly difficult relationship with your father too. I hardly ever talk to mine so my track record with parents is not great.
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Post by mothafuckinteatime on Sept 25, 2018 18:21:58 GMT -6
Are you secretly plugging your upcoming Netflix flick, soup? Is this how you’re famous-adjacent???
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kmkd
Amethyst
Posts: 6,897 Likes: 28,678
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Post by kmkd on Sept 25, 2018 18:35:37 GMT -6
I was literally about to tell Wino she could invite me to her second wedding. Literally whenever we talk about weddings, I feel like I have a different feel than most people on the board. Feed me, booze me, let me dress up and dirty dance with my dude. I’m happy to throw you a check and I’ll be so stoked to be there for your day. How do you feel about Nashville in January? I feel great about it.
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