Pizzaslut
Ruby
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Post by Pizzaslut on Sept 25, 2018 11:49:29 GMT -6
I remind all you not-yet-married ladies every time this comes up, I give a good gift and I’m on the dance floor all night long. Invite me to all your parties! But are you willing to travel to the midwest? Ohio GTG at your wedding!
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Cher
Global Moderator
BMB, GD, Special Interests
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Post by Cher on Sept 25, 2018 11:50:21 GMT -6
I remind all you not-yet-married ladies every time this comes up, I give a good gift and I’m on the dance floor all night long. Invite me to all your parties! But are you willing to travel to the midwest? I will go anywhere for a wedding. Possibly even the Midwest.
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piratecat
Diamond
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Post by piratecat on Sept 25, 2018 11:51:29 GMT -6
Yea, I mostly expect people to just pay for their own shit. Plan a wedding you can afford to pay for and don't tell me that you don't own measuring cups or a rolling pin. I am confused? Isn't this 2 different things? Maybe? I think there is similar sense of entitlement when it comes to weddings.
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piratecat
Diamond
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Post by piratecat on Sept 25, 2018 11:54:15 GMT -6
I have a lot of unpopular opinions about weddings and showers and registries but it's not Thursday so.
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Post by angelashly on Sept 25, 2018 11:54:37 GMT -6
I have a lot of unpopular opinions about weddings and showers and registries but it's not Thursday so. I will remind you in 2 days then
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Post by angelashly on Sept 25, 2018 11:56:00 GMT -6
I am confused? Isn't this 2 different things? Maybe? I think there is similar sense of entitlement when it comes to weddings. I guess I don't see it that way, but I guess I you are right with the ones that are requiring certain things, but for the most part in our circle people are not paying for their weddings alone and I don't mind getting a gift for them if they need things for their house.
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piratecat
Diamond
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Post by piratecat on Sept 25, 2018 11:57:54 GMT -6
I have a lot of unpopular opinions about weddings and showers and registries but it's not Thursday so. I will remind you in 2 days then Haha well the gist of it is that I don't like them. And I can pretty much guess what the responses will be and I'm not looking to change anyone's minds.
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Post by angelashly on Sept 25, 2018 11:59:02 GMT -6
I will remind you in 2 days then Haha well the gist of it is that I don't like them. And I can pretty much guess what the responses will be and I'm not looking to change anyone's minds. But we need a good UO day it has been awhile
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Post by angelashly on Sept 25, 2018 12:03:09 GMT -6
People definitely expect their wedding to be paid for by the guests and then some. This is where the "cover your plate" rule came from. I had a friend tell me that not only are you supposed to give enough to cover your plate, but then you should give extra for fun money for the B&G. people would hate weddings here then
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piratecat
Diamond
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Post by piratecat on Sept 25, 2018 12:03:44 GMT -6
Maybe? I think there is similar sense of entitlement when it comes to weddings. I guess I don't see it that way, but I guess I you are right with the ones that are requiring certain things, but for the most part in our circle people are not paying for their weddings alone and I don't mind getting a gift for them if they need things for their house. In reality, I generally don't know who is paying for what, etc. unless it's family, so it's not like that factors into what gift I get them. On the internet, there seems to be a lot of people complaining about how much/little their parents are contributing to the wedding costs and crappy gifts from guests or whatever. Maybe these people are not real though, I don't know.
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Post by angelashly on Sept 25, 2018 12:09:45 GMT -6
And I also saw something new at a wedding this weekend...the honeymoon and alcohol donation dance. The DJ said it was like the dollar dance, but a dollar is not enough. It was really awkward when they started begging people to come up to dance with the bride and groom.
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Post by angelashly on Sept 25, 2018 12:11:41 GMT -6
My sister didn't do the dollar dance so they did kidnap the bride. All of us bridesmaids took her to the bar next door and did a shot (which we all got free) and my BIL and his groomsmen had to collect money from people to pay the ransom.
At the time I was happy to go get shots (I was underage), but now I am Chrissy Teigen about it
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Pizzaslut
Ruby
*it’s a joke. get some hobbies.
Posts: 22,728 Likes: 131,010
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Post by Pizzaslut on Sept 25, 2018 12:12:18 GMT -6
And I also saw something new at a wedding this weekend...the honeymoon and alcohol donation dance. The DJ said it was like the dollar dance, but a dollar is not enough. It was really awkward when they started begging people to come up to dance with the bride and groom. Money dances were so popular when I was growing up. I don't see anyone do them anymore.
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emma
Ruby
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Post by emma on Sept 25, 2018 12:18:23 GMT -6
My friend group has had 1 second wedding so far. She registered for things like running shoes and video games... everyone was very WTF to that registry and gave money, or nothing
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Post by angelashly on Sept 25, 2018 12:20:53 GMT -6
My friend group has had 1 second wedding so far. She registered for things like running shoes and video games... everyone was very WTF to that registry and gave money, or nothing Ok now this piratecat, is entitlement, but it also could be that her parents/olds in her family were pushing a registry.
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piratecat
Diamond
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Post by piratecat on Sept 25, 2018 12:27:55 GMT -6
My friend group has had 1 second wedding so far. She registered for things like running shoes and video games... everyone was very WTF to that registry and gave money, or nothing Ok now this piratecat , is entitlement, but it also could be that her parents/olds in her family were pushing a registry. Maybe, but even then you don't have to send it to everyone, you know?
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soup
Platinum
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Post by soup on Sept 25, 2018 12:27:58 GMT -6
My friend group has had 1 second wedding so far. She registered for things like running shoes and video games... everyone was very WTF to that registry and gave money, or nothing Actual LOL. Thank you. (Even I, the anti-etiquette person, am impressed and mildly horrified.) (I mean, at least register for things that can be jointly used, like TV, camera, computer, etc.)
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Post by angelashly on Sept 25, 2018 12:29:52 GMT -6
If i am not giving cash I would much rather a registry.
I do agree that the registry is mostly for the shower portion
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emma
Ruby
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Post by emma on Sept 25, 2018 12:31:31 GMT -6
My friend group has had 1 second wedding so far. She registered for things like running shoes and video games... everyone was very WTF to that registry and gave money, or nothing Actual LOL. Thank you. (Even I, the anti-etiquette person, am impressed and mildly horrified.) (I mean, at least register for things that can be jointly used, like TV, camera, computer, etc.) oh her reason was because they like to run and game together. Ummmm no. Also her first wedding was only 3 years earlier and she kept the house and everything in it
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Post by angelashly on Sept 25, 2018 12:32:16 GMT -6
Actual LOL. Thank you. (Even I, the anti-etiquette person, am impressed and mildly horrified.) (I mean, at least register for things that can be jointly used, like TV, camera, computer, etc.) oh her reason was because they like to run and game together. Ummmm no. Also her first wedding was only 3 years earlier and she kept the house and everything in it ::::insert Chrissy tiegen cringe face again::::
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soup
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Post by soup on Sept 25, 2018 12:32:27 GMT -6
I think I would really like your friend, emma. LOL! Except I only run when chased, and, even then, not very quickly.
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Post by theseaword on Sept 25, 2018 12:38:15 GMT -6
My fam only gives cash. And then you write in the little book what they gave you. So then when your cousin gets married ten years later, your mom can call you and ask what his mom gave you for your wedding.
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soup
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Post by soup on Sept 25, 2018 12:41:13 GMT -6
My fam only gives cash. And then you write in the little book what they gave you. So then when your cousin gets married ten years later, your mom can call you and ask what his mom gave you for your wedding. My father-in-law literally keeps a spreadsheet of what his colleagues have given in the past, so he may reciprocate or exceed. This is probably appalling to some, but it seems pretty practical to me.
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piratecat
Diamond
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Post by piratecat on Sept 25, 2018 12:44:28 GMT -6
My fam only gives cash. And then you write in the little book what they gave you. So then when your cousin gets married ten years later, your mom can call you and ask what his mom gave you for your wedding. Seriously? I thought my mom was the only one that did this. This relates to why mom felt entitled to cash gifts given to my sister by her friends because she's the one that had been giving money to their children's weddings all these years. I had a very small wedding far away from my hometown and didn't invite any of her friends. She gave me a pile of cards from her friends and I wrote everyone thank you cards. There was no money in any of them and I suspect my mom went through them before giving them to me.
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soup
Platinum
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Post by soup on Sept 25, 2018 12:49:10 GMT -6
My fam only gives cash. And then you write in the little book what they gave you. So then when your cousin gets married ten years later, your mom can call you and ask what his mom gave you for your wedding. Seriously? I thought my mom was the only one that did this. This relates to why mom felt entitled to cash gifts given to my sister by her friends because she's the one that had been giving money to their children's weddings all these years. I had a very small wedding far away from my hometown and didn't invite any of her friends. She gave me a pile of cards from her friends and I wrote everyone thank you cards. There was no money in any of them and I suspect my mom went through them before giving them to me. Wait wait wait. YOUR MOM TOOK THE MONEY? This is not the same as just keeping track of what has been given. The people getting married still get the money. Folks are simply making sure the exchanges are even.
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Post by angelashly on Sept 25, 2018 12:49:52 GMT -6
My fam only gives cash. And then you write in the little book what they gave you. So then when your cousin gets married ten years later, your mom can call you and ask what his mom gave you for your wedding. Seriously? I thought my mom was the only one that did this. This relates to why mom felt entitled to cash gifts given to my sister by her friends because she's the one that had been giving money to their children's weddings all these years. I had a very small wedding far away from my hometown and didn't invite any of her friends. She gave me a pile of cards from her friends and I wrote everyone thank you cards. There was no money in any of them and I suspect my mom went through them before giving them to me. so your wedding gift issues stem from your mom then
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piratecat
Diamond
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Post by piratecat on Sept 25, 2018 12:53:58 GMT -6
Seriously? I thought my mom was the only one that did this. This relates to why mom felt entitled to cash gifts given to my sister by her friends because she's the one that had been giving money to their children's weddings all these years. I had a very small wedding far away from my hometown and didn't invite any of her friends. She gave me a pile of cards from her friends and I wrote everyone thank you cards. There was no money in any of them and I suspect my mom went through them before giving them to me. Wait wait wait. YOUR MOM TOOK THE MONEY? This is not the same as just keeping track of what has been given. The people getting married still get the money. Folk are simply making sure the exchanges are even. I am fairly certain because it is not likely that they just gave cards with no cash. I never confronted her because I didn't care about the money and it wasn't worth fighting her over. And yea, I get that it is not the same. Keeping a notebook or spreadsheet is probably fairly normal. My mom is not that.
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soup
Platinum
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Post by soup on Sept 25, 2018 12:54:50 GMT -6
Boo. I'm sorry, piratecat. Even if you didn't really care, it still sucks!
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piratecat
Diamond
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Post by piratecat on Sept 25, 2018 12:55:50 GMT -6
Seriously? I thought my mom was the only one that did this. This relates to why mom felt entitled to cash gifts given to my sister by her friends because she's the one that had been giving money to their children's weddings all these years. I had a very small wedding far away from my hometown and didn't invite any of her friends. She gave me a pile of cards from her friends and I wrote everyone thank you cards. There was no money in any of them and I suspect my mom went through them before giving them to me. so your wedding gift issues stem from your mom then Hm, I'm not sure how they are related. It's likely that a lot of my issues stem from my mother, although I like to think that she doesn't have that effect on me.
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Post by angelashly on Sept 25, 2018 12:59:07 GMT -6
so your wedding gift issues stem from your mom then Hm, I'm not sure how they are related. It's likely that a lot of my issues stem from my mother, although I like to think that she doesn't have that effect on me. Because your mom is making it into a thing by taking the money since she was the one that gave the money to the others. She was the one who told your sister to invite more people to make a profit
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