Thursday's the tops!

[tgrimes]

Jun 21, 2018 14:11:49 GMT -6 wedding said:

Jun 21, 2018 14:11:06 GMT -6 tgrimes said:

M would love to go to my in laws....probably forever.  

I was away from the kids for 2 weeks when I got stuck in CA after my dad's surgery.  That's the longest I'd been away from either one of them.  You'll miss him but you'll also have E to keep you very busy.  

I want to live with your in laws!

Me too!

They're currently in Iceland on a 3 week vacation.  

[nam2013]

Jun 21, 2018 14:32:53 GMT -6 tgrimes said:

Jun 21, 2018 14:11:49 GMT -6 wedding said:

I want to live with your in laws!

Me too!

They're currently in Iceland on a 3 week vacation.  

Oh fun! My parents went there a few years back, they loved it! It is soooo beautiful and rugged.

[flamingo]

Jun 21, 2018 12:26:02 GMT -6 ladystrat said:

Aww, man! I miss that grocery store! Their bread department is the stuff dreams are made of. My favorite kitchen towels have the fresh market emblazoned on them, and they bring back the best memories.

Jun 21, 2018 11:35:12 GMT -6 flamingo said:

On a random but positive note, I bought hydrangeas at Fresh Market last Thursday. I don't think I've ever purchased any this fresh--they were still closed up and that bright lime-y green color. They are finally starting to open today--a week later--and I think will last another few days, at least. I have so enjoyed them. Best $10 ever spent on flowers.

Whenever we go grocery shopping B asks if that’s where we’re going; if not, he wants to know why we can’t do all our shopping there. Ummm b/c we’d be broke 😂 Maybe someday, when the kids aren’t eating me out of house and home...

[jewels]

@chrissy01 I agree with nam2013 and I would worry about his feelings with the new baby and all. But, of course, you know your L the best and you know how he would react.

I also have never left my kids overnight with anyone except MH so the idea is just foreign to me. If you think he will have a blast, I would do the option that is easiest for you.

[inthekitty]

Jun 21, 2018 14:11:06 GMT -6 tgrimes said:

Jun 21, 2018 14:06:03 GMT -6 chrisy01 said:

LO wants to go. But he's never been away from home let alone that long. He's not sensitive either. It's mostly me I think that will have the problem. I tear up just thinking about him going.

M would love to go to my in laws....probably forever.  

I was away from the kids for 2 weeks when I got stuck in CA after my dad's surgery.  That's the longest I'd been away from either one of them.  You'll miss him but you'll also have E to keep you very busy.  

This is my thought.  A newborn would keep you busy enough. I probably wouldn't even view it as time to get her on a schedule so much as solo bonding time, because at least with my kids when they were babies that just wasn't happening, I mean, a rough schedule sure, but a now-they-go-to-sleep-at-XX-every-night schedule was not happening. And like wedding I wouldn't worry about my kid feeling like they are being shipped off. For the most part this is still the age of narcissism. Madison would probably just think "I get to go to Grammy's and Cassie doesn't!" versus "Cass is going to get individual time with mom." Grammy definitely outranks me.

[guster]

Do L and C go to preschool, @smilz? I'm sure you could ask for an evaluation that way. And if they don't, I think you can reach out to the local school district under their EI services and see what is available.

[inthekitty]

Jun 21, 2018 14:37:37 GMT -6 flamingo said:

Jun 21, 2018 12:26:02 GMT -6 ladystrat said:

Aww, man! I miss that grocery store! Their bread department is the stuff dreams are made of. My favorite kitchen towels have the fresh market emblazoned on them, and they bring back the best memories.

Whenever we go grocery shopping B asks if that’s where we’re going; if not, he wants to know why we can’t do all our shopping there. Ummm b/c we’d be broke 😂 Maybe someday, when the kids aren’t eating me out of house and home...

The other day Cass asked for food and I replied you just had dinner. She whined, "But I only got 2 dinners!" The struggle is real kid.

[trtlcrzy]

We are at the coolest park. It is right next to a lake with a swimming beach. There is toddler/preschool play equipment, then a spray pad, and then older kid play equipment on the other side. There are covered areas for parents to sit and a couple of excercise bikes and elliptical just outside the area. I wish this was by my house!

[kim22]

smilz4782 I student taught in a class of autistic first graders. I would suggest you start with 2 things. First write a letter to your local school district special services coordinator. You should be able to find that on their webpage and if not, call the board of ed. Explain your concerns and say you are requesting a child study team evaluation. Not sure what state you are in, but here in N.J. they must respond within 30 days. If your child is 3 ( which I think you said she just turned 3, they must provide an evaluation.) Second, call your medical insurance provider and ask if they cover an evaluation with a developmental pediatrician. Here they can be hard to get appointments with but get on a list for one. You can often find them at a children’s hospital. The evaluations will be similar but if your insurance will cover, it’s nice to do both. They should have you see speech, OT, PT, and some form of social worker. You can then compare the two reports to figure out the best next steps if you do receive any type of diagnosis. Then remember with or without a name for what’s going on, your kid is still your amazing kid and you only need a label to get the services you are entitled to.

[dapostrophe]

Hi, late check in today. Bea and I just woke up from a 2 hour nap to find Theo had gotten himself up from his nap early and was rustling around in the cupboards. Of course, he does this on the day my H is not at home. Good thing I woke up when I heard the first cupboard bang. Kids, man.

Off to catch up...

[lfig]

@smilz7482 hi!!

Like kim said...a developmental pedi is usually the route you need to go but they do take forever to get into from what I hear. I suggest checking out the special needs board. I’d say 90% of the participants have kiddos on the spectrum. It’s not super active over there. But I know that there are a lot of educated mommas over there that could probably help. And I know I e seen many threads related to ASD.

S has a lot of sensory issues and there have been times that ASD has been brought up, but then in the next breath they say they don’t think it’s a concern right now although some of her behaviors are similar to those with Autism. 🤷‍♀️.

[chrisy01]

Jun 21, 2018 14:11:49 GMT -6 wedding said:

Jun 21, 2018 14:11:06 GMT -6 tgrimes said:

M would love to go to my in laws....probably forever.  

I was away from the kids for 2 weeks when I got stuck in CA after my dad's surgery.  That's the longest I'd been away from either one of them.  You'll miss him but you'll also have E to keep you very busy.  

I want to live with your in laws!

Me too!!

[joelies]

Ended up coming home but I ended up on a call and working a couple more hours anyway. Boo! But DH and Colin aren't back yet (Colin was apparently great all day) so Chase and I are chilling out. He keeps forgetting that we don't hit people with shovels though...? This kid, man.

[flamingo]

I mean, I am the road-tripper of road-trippers chrisy01 but no thank you to that long of a car ride with a newborn. That 20 hour drive could easily turn into 30.

We've done a week away from B and 5 or so days away from both kids and I was totally fine--I missed them, but it wasn't a big deal. Three weeks is a long time. Do you think your parents can run herd on an active 4 y.o. for that long? Would they have any back-up care for him in case they needed a break (another family member, etc)? Also, if he gets there and is just having a really hard time away from home, could y'all get him home sooner if necessary?

I guess I'm torn. You know your child and your parents better than anyone. Sounds like it could be great for you, and for L to have some quality spoiling time with your folks, but I understand not wanting to be away for quite that long.


Ha. I just asked DH, "If my parents asked if they could take B for 3 weeks..." and he goes, "Bye!" before I could even finish the question. Then, "Tell me what I need to do to make it happen. I'll have his bag packed, just name a time."

[chrisy01]

flamingo C has been telling me for months to let him go

[inthekitty]

I put the link to my house on the private board for the creepers.

[lahdeedah]

LOL at Mr. flamingo.

I think flamingo’s questions are key. If M were to be that far away for 3 weeks and I had to think about those questions, it would be a no for me. Even if something happened and you had to meet halfway to get him, 10 hours one way is still a long way. chrisy01

[chrisy01]

My parents said they would bring him back if either him or I couldn't handle being away. My dad said he would fly with LO out here if needed. They have answers for every concern I come up with. I'm just not sure. I'm going to talk with LO when he gets home from school.

[dapostrophe]

3 weeks would be too long for me at this age, but I'm firmly in the you know your kids/family camp.

I try to keep in mind that my older kids are adjusting to the new family structure as well. I am teaching them how to be in the house with a new baby as much as I am taking care of her. I think that would still happen just fine after 3 weeks, but things tend to get off track for us when too many new variables are introduced and routines are disrupted. It can almost make things harder. My ILs are taking the 3 older little ones for 3 days next week and I already know they will be all thrown off when they return.

BUT if I we're having trouble with recovery, needed to care for myself, or had other challenges that would certainly weigh in to the decision.

[wedding]

Jun 21, 2018 17:48:58 GMT -6 chrisy01 said:

My parents said they would bring him back if either him or I couldn't handle being away. My dad said he would fly with LO out here if needed. They have answers for every concern I come up with. I'm just not sure. I'm going to talk with LO when he gets home from school.

That’s great that they would cut it short if need be. I also just asked DH and he said he would send C for sure. It sounds like you parents really want to do this too. It must be hard for them being so far away.

[guster]

Totally off-topic for the day: everyone needs to watch The Set Up on Netflix. It's in the vein of cheesy Christmas movies, but it's really good!
inthekitty and @nam, I'm looking at you!

[chrisy01]

E has been bf-ing for almost 3 hours. Please let this mean she will sleep well tonight.

[Sunny41]

smilz4782 HI! If you have concerns see a few specialists. I have one local friend that took a few years to get an autism diagnosis and the child is 5. Another friend had the same experience with several doctors needed to recognize a moderate level. Maybe reach out to a clinic and see what course of action they recommend.

[slenle]

Dh got home early enough for us to go the Incredibles 2. The kids did great and we all loved to movie. We decided after to just grab dinner vs come home and make something so we went out for Mexican. N must have been starved becauSe she ate 1.5 quesadillas. I had a jumbo Margarita. So good.

Our basement looks so great! Crazy that we had no walls this morning and now all the walls are up. They’ll be back tomorrow to mud and tape.

[cagoldi]

Jun 21, 2018 14:06:03 GMT -6 chrisy01 said:

Jun 21, 2018 13:54:23 GMT -6 wedding said:

I May be heartless or maybe because C isn’t a very sensitive child, but I wouldn’t worry about this. It’s a fun adventure for him. Maybe see what he wants if you are worried. I know C would be psyched.

LO wants to go. But he's never been away from home let alone that long. He's not sensitive either. It's mostly me I think that will have the problem. I tear up just thinking about him going.

I think it would be hard on you, truthfully, but L would do just fine. I know three weeks is a long time but he's about as independent as a 4.5 year-old can be and he really does enjoy your parents. Option 1 seems like your best bet if he does go.

[trtlcrzy]

I would love to ship H off to my dad’s or IL’s for a few weeks.

[smilz4782]

Jun 21, 2018 15:08:45 GMT -6 kim22 said:

smilz4782 I student taught in a class of autistic first graders. I would suggest you start with 2 things. First write a letter to your local school district special services coordinator. You should be able to find that on their webpage and if not, call the board of ed. Explain your concerns and say you are requesting a child study team evaluation. Not sure what state you are in, but here in N.J. they must respond within 30 days. If your child is 3 ( which I think you said she just turned 3, they must provide an evaluation.) Second, call your medical insurance provider and ask if they cover an evaluation with a developmental pediatrician. Here they can be hard to get appointments with but get on a list for one. You can often find them at a children’s hospital. The evaluations will be similar but if your insurance will cover, it’s nice to do both. They should have you see speech, OT, PT, and some form of social worker. You can then compare the two reports to figure out the best next steps if you do receive any type of diagnosis. Then remember with or without a name for what’s going on, your kid is still your amazing kid and you only need a label to get the services you are entitled to.

Thank you so much ❤️ We just want to Be able to help them navigate life and succeed so even if no diagnoses are made I hope to get skills to help them deal better. Thank you ❤️❤️

[smilz4782]

Jun 21, 2018 15:48:59 GMT -6 lfig said:

@smilz7482 hi!!

Like kim said...a developmental pedi is usually the route you need to go but they do take forever to get into from what I hear. I suggest checking out the special needs board. I’d say 90% of the participants have kiddos on the spectrum. It’s not super active over there. But I know that there are a lot of educated mommas over there that could probably help. And I know I e seen many threads related to ASD.

S has a lot of sensory issues and there have been times that ASD has been brought up, but then in the next breath they say they don’t think it’s a concern right now although some of her behaviors are similar to those with Autism. 🤷‍♀️.

Is that frustrating for you to have them suggest maybe this then kind of take away your "answer"? :/
And thanks I will check out the board!

[smilz4782]

Jun 21, 2018 19:34:51 GMT -6 Sunny41 said:

smilz4782 HI! If you have concerns see a few specialists. I have one local friend that took a few years to get an autism diagnosis and the child is 5. Another friend had the same experience with several doctors needed to recognize a moderate level. Maybe reach out to a clinic and see what course of action they recommend.

Thank you! Yes, I feel like this will be a long road to a definitive answer. :/

Even knowing where to begin is hard. I remembered a friend who has 2 kids on the spectrum one is an Aspie like we suspect L and I got to talk to her today, she had some great tips and her daughter sounds like L.
I took an autism speaks quiz for C and she got 14/20 which flagged high and said to seek help.

I feel like we definitely need to be getting evaluated for both.

[mwhip]

I watched Bad Mom's finally tonight. I laughed as hard as I could with my kid being asleep in the next room.