cmb
Sapphire
Posts: 4,604 Likes: 9,807
|
Post by cmb on May 4, 2018 3:56:33 GMT -6
Not going to lie, 2 under 3 is rough for the first 6-9 months. Mine are 2 years and 3 months apart. It got so much easier once DS2 was mobile and DS1 realized how to play with him.
I like that DS1 will never remember being an only child. It was a while for him to understand he had to share us, and I don’t think his communication issues helped with that transition. That was rough. It got easier right around the 3rd birthday
Financially, it sucks. 2 in diapers for a while, 2 in full time daycare for at least 2 years. Lots of sick visits between the two of them. They are hitting sizes in different seasons so buying clothes for the second is still a must.
I love it though. It’s was so much easier to go from 1 to 2 than it was to go from 0 to 1. The skills are still there, and we’re not too far removed to remember things like how to attempt to soothe baby and that it takes a while for them to learn to sleep.
We have everything saved. My big items were reusable outside of the crib (convertible) and needing new convertible car seats. It sucks in the back of my car right now because it’s taken up by the two seats, but it’s really just for a short amount of time that I have to deal with it. DS1 will be in a booster come next year. (I drive a mid sized sedan for reference)
DS2 has learned how to entertain himself way more than DS1 ever did. He gets that he has to share the attention already. He’s old enough now to have similar interests and play the way DS1 wants (sometimes).
I have more but I’ll be back later as I just got up for the day
|
|
|
Post by lupincat on May 4, 2018 4:54:53 GMT -6
My boys are 22.5 months apart so I had 2u2 for 6 weeks. DS1 did not give one iota of a shit about his brother until maybe 7-8 months old and even now it's mostly 50/50 on whether he likes him or is annoyed by him. For me, the early months were the easiest because DS2 was little enough that I could just plop him down to give DS1 the attention he wanted. Same with cmb, his communication issues did not help anything but we didn't know that it was going to be such an issue when I got pregnant. Sometimes H and I think we should've put more space between kids but that's only due to DS1's issues. My sibling and I were all 2-2.5 years apart so this is how I pictured my kids, truly I love it. Once DS2 can walk reliably and chase DS1 I think it's going to be a game changer and they'll be really close. That being said, I have no plans on even trying for a third until next spring/summer.
|
|
cmb
Sapphire
Posts: 4,604 Likes: 9,807
|
Post by cmb on May 4, 2018 5:52:27 GMT -6
lupincat DS1 loves having DS2 chase him! We’re not walking yet, so he gets down and crawls to make DS2 follow. It’s adorable. We still won’t share trains that often, though. He also thinks that if he whacks DS2 on the head when crying, there’s an off button that will stop him 🤣 never works but still tries 🤦🏼♀️ We had no idea how bad the communications issues were until he was evaluated by the preschool evaluators. He came in at 3%tile. He’s still hovering there, talking at about a 2-2.5 year old level now, but it’s gotten so much better once we made that jump. When we went for EI 6 months prior, he was at 24% so there was a significant drop I have a few friends who have closer to a 3 year age gap but were still 2 under 3 for a few months. In 2 of the 3 cases, it was a smooth adaption, and they just dote on the baby. The other still struggles with adapting to the baby. All those babies are 6-9 months now.
|
|
cmb
Sapphire
Posts: 4,604 Likes: 9,807
|
Post by cmb on May 4, 2018 5:56:22 GMT -6
I have a 5 year gap between me and my younger sister. DH has a 4 year gap with his younger brother. We have nothing in common with them and barely talk. I have 3 aunts that were born within a 5ish year period. The younger two are Irish twins and used to super close. The older one is 18 months older than my mother and they used to be close as well (lots of family drama in the last 5-10 years between both relationships). I wanted to give my kids a chance at that though I know that doesn’t always happen
|
|
|
Post by moutonrouge on May 4, 2018 6:46:50 GMT -6
|
|
|
Post by moutonrouge on May 4, 2018 7:01:39 GMT -6
My brother and I are 28 months apart, and we rarely talk. DH and his brother are 3 years apart and they talk every day (texting - they call each other once a week). I think it depends on the kids.
I've been thinking lately about quitting my job and staying at home with DD. I'm really miserable at work, and I'm not sure if it's my current job or if I just wouldn't be happy doing anything. Some days I like what I do, but we've had multiple rounds of layoffs in the last 9 months and the office/company culture has turned sour. In my current mix of projects, I only like 1. I applied to some other companies and had interviews but didn't get any offers. I didn't love my maternity leave, but I also didn't make an effort to join mom groups since it seemed temporary.
|
|
|
Post by lupincat on May 4, 2018 10:22:45 GMT -6
cmb The train struggle is very much alive here as well. DS2 gets stuck with the unwanted trains. Poor Fergus, Diesel, and Whiff.
|
|
|
Post by lupincat on May 4, 2018 10:36:40 GMT -6
My brother and I are almost exactly two years apart, our birthdays are 9 days apart. We're not super close (but that's due to some less than stellar life choices on his part) but we were BFFs when we were little.
My sister and I are 2.5 years apart and we are obnoxiously close. We literally text all day long and have these ridiculous inside jokes and my husband just shakes his head at us. We're basically soul mates 😂
|
|
cmb
Sapphire
Posts: 4,604 Likes: 9,807
|
Post by cmb on May 4, 2018 10:55:44 GMT -6
cmb The train struggle is very much alive here as well. DS2 gets stuck with the unwanted trains. Poor Fergus, Diesel, and Whiff. DS1 hogs all the ones even remotely related to Thomas. DS2 is only allowed to play with the no name ones that DS1 doesn’t feel like playing with at that moment Poor unnamed trains
|
|
ttcbabyj
Platinum
Long hair, don't care...
Posts: 2,408 Likes: 8,776
|
Post by ttcbabyj on May 5, 2018 3:24:58 GMT -6
I am still so torn about having another. I don't know if and when I can ever decide but I also would like them to be close in age if there is a sibling. I just don't know. This is where I am. DH said he would like for me to make a final decision by the end of the year. He said he's good either way. DH has 2 older (late teens) from a previous marriage. J was not the easiest infant, she a little better now. And I have always wanted my child to experience having a sibling. My brother and me are super close. I just don't want her to miss out on that....plus I think she has the potential to be a total brat without a sibling.
|
|
|
Post by thechickencoop on May 5, 2018 6:45:10 GMT -6
So, DS1 and 2 are 5.5 years apart. We....didn't initially plan for that large of a gap but it took like 2.5 years to get KU this time so, that's what we ended up with 🤷
I will say, I fucking love it. DS1 is very independant and we worked on things like showering by himself, getting snacks, etc while I was pregnant. He started kindergarten right before my EDD. DS2 ended up being 6 weeks early so he was born the same week K started, DS1 adapted like a champ.
DS1 is helpful, can do things for himself, and most importantly, is gone at school all day during the week 😂 I WFH very part-time so I have naptime to work, then the rest of the day to do whatever with DS2 that we're doing that day.
We are definitely done though, H got snipped a few months ago.
Just another side to the age gap....plus, only 1 in diapers, only 1 in daycare once I decide to go back to work more, only 1 in a crib, and only 1 in a giant bucket seat.
|
|
piratecat
Diamond
Posts: 36,022 Likes: 143,867
Member is Online
|
Post by piratecat on May 5, 2018 8:26:41 GMT -6
ttcbabyj I’m glad to see you here! Our kiddos are very close age! thechickencoop it took us a little bit to get pregnant with J so that adds to the time pressure and feeling like I need to decide and start trying sooner than later. Plus I am getting older. But yea I figure there are pros and cons to every situation. I’m glad that things are working out well for you guys!
|
|
piratecat
Diamond
Posts: 36,022 Likes: 143,867
Member is Online
|
Post by piratecat on May 5, 2018 8:36:09 GMT -6
cmb are Tula blankets similar to the muslin swaddle blankets? No, they’re thicker. I think the material might be different, too. Before we got those, we used the A&A stroller blankets that were 2 layer muslin Do you use it year round? Do I need one? ETA: do you have the baby blanket or the cuddle me blanket? I see that the size is different but is the thickness different too?
|
|
cmb
Sapphire
Posts: 4,604 Likes: 9,807
|
Post by cmb on May 5, 2018 11:13:11 GMT -6
No, they’re thicker. I think the material might be different, too. Before we got those, we used the A&A stroller blankets that were 2 layer muslin Do you use it year round? Do I need one? ETA: do you have the baby blanket or the cuddle me blanket? I see that the size is different but is the thickness different too? I use Tula year round but not the stroller blankets. I used the A&A dream blankets in the winter. I have both baby blankets and cuddle me. The only difference is size, thickness is identical. My kids have the baby ones. The cuddle me is mine. ETA: do you need one? Probably not, but I love mine and so do my kids
|
|
|
Post by grumpycat on May 6, 2018 6:57:32 GMT -6
Ds1 turned 3 in January and ds2 was born in October. Ds1 is just starting to interact more with ds2 and it's adorable. If we had waited until ds1 was 3 to conceive as was the plan, we may have waited even longer. 3 year olds are a nightmare. I would have wanted to wait until we were past most of the threenager behavior. That being said, ds2 definitely has second child syndrome and a very different temperament. So it works most days. If ds2 came out with the same temperament as ds1, I would have pulled all of my hair out and made my mom move into my house to help. But that's obviously kid dependent so it's really hard to predict lol.
I'm almost exactly 2 years older than my brother and there were many rough years. We are now very close. I didn't like sharing attention with him or really him at all until we were in high school. I did like bossing him around though.
|
|
cmb
Sapphire
Posts: 4,604 Likes: 9,807
|
Post by cmb on May 6, 2018 9:37:27 GMT -6
grumpycat I say the same thing about the threenager. If we waited until he was 3, DS1 would definitely be an only child. It’s... rough, putting it mildly. Maybe it’s just these Jan’15 babies giving us a run for our money? 😅
|
|
|
Post by babystandish on May 6, 2018 20:28:47 GMT -6
Ummmm yes. Another +1 to horrible threenager period. Do not care for.
|
|
|
Post by lupincat on May 7, 2018 5:12:57 GMT -6
DS1 turns 3 in early July. Should I skip town for the next year??
|
|
|
Post by thechickencoop on May 7, 2018 5:40:44 GMT -6
DS1 turns 3 in early July. Should I skip town for the next year?? Maybe like 3 years? 😂 4 was ok. 5 was oh my god not so good. We're only a month into 6 but this actually seems nice so far.
|
|
cmb
Sapphire
Posts: 4,604 Likes: 9,807
|
Post by cmb on May 7, 2018 5:59:53 GMT -6
DS1 turns 3 in early July. Should I skip town for the next year?? Don’t skip. Run
|
|
|
Post by lupincat on May 7, 2018 7:15:20 GMT -6
Well damn.
|
|
piratecat
Diamond
Posts: 36,022 Likes: 143,867
Member is Online
|
Post by piratecat on May 7, 2018 7:16:00 GMT -6
|
|
|
Post by lildiamondeyes on May 7, 2018 14:40:21 GMT -6
I keep forgetting to check in here. I'm terrible. Dh has brought up having another (#4). We had 3u3, did not want 4u4, thankyouverymuch. What the hell is Dh thinking?!? I think I have him convinced to wait until brginning of next year or at least until the house is started to be built. Or we win the lotto.
|
|
cmb
Sapphire
Posts: 4,604 Likes: 9,807
|
Post by cmb on May 7, 2018 17:51:24 GMT -6
lildiamondeyes we’re also having a house built and hoping it’ll be done (or mostly done) before TTC again
|
|
|
Post by lildiamondeyes on May 7, 2018 19:14:26 GMT -6
Dh is over here crunching number and looking hella pissed. Not good, I guess but I'm too afraid to ask.
|
|
gingy
Opal
Posts: 7,657 Likes: 35,375
|
Post by gingy on May 8, 2018 13:12:49 GMT -6
I go through spells where I'd really like another. DS has been a relatively easy baby, and I really am enjoying the baby phase. But having an 11-year age gap between the two is pretty cool. They get to do the sibling thing but also have their own time as only children at home. Will not do this again in 11 years, tho.
|
|
piratecat
Diamond
Posts: 36,022 Likes: 143,867
Member is Online
|
Post by piratecat on May 9, 2018 11:01:53 GMT -6
Posting in the correct thread.
J is climbing the stair now so I guess I better get that baby gate up!
Also I don't want to jinx myself but I feel like J is finally in a good place with sleep. He goes down without a fuss and sleeps until 5:30 when I nurse him, and then goes back to sleep until 6:30, or sometimes fusses for a couple of minutes and goes back to sleep until 7:30. He is also napping in the crib relatively consistently, which has been really great.
|
|
cmb
Sapphire
Posts: 4,604 Likes: 9,807
|
Post by cmb on May 9, 2018 17:39:14 GMT -6
DS1 had his OT eval yesterday. It looks like we’ll be adding that to his therapy list. She’s recommending it- from what she’s heard, it sounds like there’s sensory issues, and he scored moderately behind on fine motor skills.
He’s also super easily distracted (duh, he’s 3!)
|
|
|
Post by Deleted on May 10, 2018 8:26:48 GMT -6
I’m late to the sibling talk, but I’m really on the fence about having # 2. I have at least another year to decide, since I would likely wait until 2020 to actually get pregnant. Honestly, I don’t know if I truly want a second, or just feel the pressure to use the embryos I have on ice
|
|
piratecat
Diamond
Posts: 36,022 Likes: 143,867
Member is Online
|
Post by piratecat on May 10, 2018 8:53:18 GMT -6
@easilyunamused, how many embryos do you have left? It's such a tough decision!
|
|