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Post by Rusty Red on Apr 18, 2018 10:47:23 GMT -6
ttcbabyj hey, you got the help you needed, you are on the road to rectifying it. Can't we just flame your life choices, in peace, for the next 6 pages? Are we on page 6 yet? It's a process, sterling! GAWD!
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Post by angelashly on Apr 18, 2018 10:54:53 GMT -6
My father's funeral was Monday. I still made sure to file my taxes yesterday. I guess everyone deals with things differently? I’m sorry for your loss. For me, the obstacle was actually sitting down and adding up all those medical receipts for the taxes. It would have been insane to just proceed with the standard deduction. I mean I knew we were hemorrhaging money to pay for the medical bills, but I just didn’t want to know exactly how much at the time. In speaking with my Psychiatrist, we both agreed it would be best to wait until I was in a better place mentally. What? I understand that you couldn't do it and i am sorry that you had to deal with that, but could no one else help with that part? I would have hired someone at that point. In the end whats done is done know better do better, but 3 years was a long time to wait
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Post by Deleted on Apr 18, 2018 10:55:00 GMT -6
ripper is cracking me the fuck up in this thread, is all I have to contribute. Goddammit, ripper. OH - and also - did anyone mention that taxes should be filed on a yearly basis? It's important
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ttcbabyj
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Post by ttcbabyj on Apr 18, 2018 11:00:40 GMT -6
AmyG my goodness...it wasn’t tax advice, it was mental health advice. And I get it you would have powered through and filed your taxes on time.
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ttcbabyj
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Post by ttcbabyj on Apr 18, 2018 11:05:27 GMT -6
I’m sorry for your loss. For me, the obstacle was actually sitting down and adding up all those medical receipts for the taxes. It would have been insane to just proceed with the standard deduction. I mean I knew we were hemorrhaging money to pay for the medical bills, but I just didn’t want to know exactly how much at the time. In speaking with my Psychiatrist, we both agreed it would be best to wait until I was in a better place mentally. What? I understand that you couldn't do it and i am sorry that you had to deal with that, but could no one else help with that part? I would have hired someone at that point. In the end whats done is done know better do better, but 3 years was a long time to wait Yes, someone could have probably helped at the time. But that’s not the way cognitive distortions work when a person is suffering from persistent depression. In my mind, I had no one, I was alone. I didn’t want to hear the total for the medical bills. So, yes for two years (because the 2017 deadline has not officially passed) I did not file my taxes.
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AmyG
Ruby
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Post by AmyG on Apr 18, 2018 11:06:23 GMT -6
AmyG my goodness...it wasn’t tax advice, it was mental health advice. And I get it you would have powered through and filed your taxes on time. Ok so you don't file on time because you just can't do it that year. But it took 3 years. In 3 years you find someone to take the stack of medical receipts and add them up. As an adult you have to file yearly. You can't just wait til you are in a better headspace 3 years later. To me This is like not paying your electricity and water bill and waiting for them to realize and cutting you off. Like You were waiting for a notice from the irs. We have to adult even when we aren't up to it. And if you can't, why couldn't the husband do it or do it as a team together each doing a small part.
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AmyG
Ruby
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Post by AmyG on Apr 18, 2018 11:09:14 GMT -6
What? I understand that you couldn't do it and i am sorry that you had to deal with that, but could no one else help with that part? I would have hired someone at that point. In the end whats done is done know better do better, but 3 years was a long time to wait Yes, someone could have probably helped at the time. But that’s not the way cognitive distortions work when a person is suffering from persistent depression. In my mind, I had no one, I was alone. I didn’t want to hear the total for the medical bills. So, yes for two years (because the 2017 deadline has not officially passed) I did not file my taxes. If you and dh file together was he also not responsible? Was he in exact same depression and psychiatrist told him to just wait to file. Or are you the default parent for doing taxes too?
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Post by sheilathetank on Apr 18, 2018 11:11:50 GMT -6
My mother was severely depressed after her mother died. She didn't open a single piece of mail for over a year afterwards. Missed her CE recertification and lost her practicing license because of it as well as went into foreclosure. Depression is awful. It affects people in different ways. Saying "just adult" isn't helpful and honestly isn't realistic.
Also what's done is done. Beating someone up for what happened in the past isn't going to change anything, but here we are.
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Post by icedcoffee on Apr 18, 2018 11:12:15 GMT -6
I mean, she has said it was a mistake and looking back on it she shouldn't have let it go that long. So it seems counter productive to keep harping on the reasons why she didn't file when she's asking for advice on how to fix it. It's done already
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Post by Deleted on Apr 18, 2018 11:12:58 GMT -6
Yes, someone could have probably helped at the time. But that’s not the way cognitive distortions work when a person is suffering from persistent depression. In my mind, I had no one, I was alone. I didn’t want to hear the total for the medical bills. So, yes for two years (because the 2017 deadline has not officially passed) I did not file my taxes. If you and dh file together was he also not responsible? Was he in exact same depression and psychiatrist told him to just wait to file. Or are you the default parent for doing taxes too? Jesus. What is the point of this?
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piratecat
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Post by piratecat on Apr 18, 2018 11:13:01 GMT -6
AmyG my goodness...it wasn’t tax advice, it was mental health advice. And I get it you would have powered through and filed your taxes on time. Ok so you don't file on time because you just can't do it that year. But it took 3 years. In 3 years you find someone to take the stack of medical receipts and add them up. As an adult you have to file yearly. You can't just wait til you are in a better headspace 3 years later. To me This is like not paying your electricity and water bill and waiting for them to realize and cutting you off. Like You were waiting for a notice from the irs. We have to adult even when we aren't up to it. And if you can't, why couldn't the husband do it or do it as a team together each doing a small part. Yea except she paid her taxes and it sounded like she was getting a refund - does the IRS come knocking on your door demanding that you take your money back?
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ttcbabyj
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Post by ttcbabyj on Apr 18, 2018 11:15:13 GMT -6
AmyG no he was not dealing with depression or seeing my psychiatrist. He definitely tried to step in and help, a number of times and I told him I would handle it. I would get really aggressive about handling it, because I also felt horrible for feeling so “weak.”
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ttcbabyj
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Posts: 2,408 Likes: 8,776
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Post by ttcbabyj on Apr 18, 2018 11:16:55 GMT -6
My mother was severely depressed after her mother died. She didn't open a single piece of mail for over a year afterwards. Missed her CE recertification and lost her practicing license because of it as well as went into foreclosure. Depression is awful. It affects people in different ways. Saying "just adult" isn't helpful and honestly isn't realistic. Also what's done is done. Beating someone up for what happened in the past isn't going to change anything, but here we are. Thank you! Trust me if I could have just “adulted” I would have... ETA: left out a word
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Post by Deleted on Apr 18, 2018 11:18:19 GMT -6
AmyG no he was not dealing with depression or seeing my psychiatrist. He definitely tried to step in and help, a number of times and I told him I would handle it. I would get really aggressive about handling it, because I also felt horrible for feeling so “weak.” I relate to this so much. I have a hard time delegating things I feel like I am supposed to “handle” and asking for help. It’s gets worse when I’m cycling through my illness. It makes very little logical sense but it is what my brain does when it short circuits. You are not alone.
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Post by sheilathetank on Apr 18, 2018 11:23:27 GMT -6
My mother was severely depressed after her mother died. She didn't open a single piece of mail for over a year afterwards. Missed her CE recertification and lost her practicing license because of it as well as went into foreclosure. Depression is awful. It affects people in different ways. Saying "just adult" isn't helpful and honestly isn't realistic. Also what's done is done. Beating someone up for what happened in the past isn't going to change anything, but here we are. Thank you! Trust me if I could have just “adulted” I would have... ETA: left out a word I get it. I have anxiety around paying bills to the point where I will just not pay them and hoard money. MH has taken over most of the bill paying because of it. It's not rational, and I would love to just "get over it" but it's a complete mental block. I have most of my other shit together, just not that one thing. Yours was taxes. It's not like you were purposely not filing because "fuck the government".
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AmyG
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Post by AmyG on Apr 18, 2018 11:24:19 GMT -6
If you and dh file together was he also not responsible? Was he in exact same depression and psychiatrist told him to just wait to file. Or are you the default parent for doing taxes too? Jesus. What is the point of this? Cause she is taking this hard but really he is on the line with the tax thing too. I feel like he could have done more even if she didn't want him to. He should have filed the taxes if she was in such a bad place. And if he couldn't because she had it all locked up, she needs to share that burden with him. And maybe psych should hsve helped her to release tgst burden to her spouse. This isn't just her mistake. She's fixing it now but he should have already handled it if he was in a good headspace all this time.
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Post by microworm on Apr 18, 2018 11:25:12 GMT -6
When I read the OP in real time, I just KNEW this was going to come around to flaming. We are nothing if not consistent.
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Post by microworm on Apr 18, 2018 11:26:37 GMT -6
Another moral of the story is that maybe I fear the IRS more than I should.
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Cher
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Post by Cher on Apr 18, 2018 11:28:32 GMT -6
When I read the OP in real time, I just KNEW this was going to come around to flaming. We are nothing if not consistent. You saw a thread titled “How much trouble are we in?” About not paying taxes for 3 years and you knew there was going to be a flaming? Holy shit, I’m posting with Nostradamus.
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Post by sheilathetank on Apr 18, 2018 11:28:52 GMT -6
Jesus. What is the point of this? Cause she is taking this hard but really he is on the line with the tax thing too. I feel like he could have done more even if she didn't want him to. He should have filed the taxes if she was in such a bad place. And if he couldn't because she had it all locked up, she needs to share that burden with him. And maybe psych should hsve helped her to release tgst burden to her spouse. This isn't just her mistake. She's fixing it now but he should have already handled it i f he was in a good headspace all this time.How do we know he was in a good headspace? I feel like you just want to blame someone. What's done is done. Saying what should have happened isn't going to help at this point. She got her advice. Is actively doing her taxes. The problem is fixed.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 18, 2018 11:29:19 GMT -6
When I read the OP in real time, I just KNEW this was going to come around to flaming. We are nothing if not consistent. You saw a thread titled “How much trouble are we in?” About not paying taxes for 3 years and you knew there was going to be a flaming? Holy shit, I’m posting with Nostradamus. I LOLd.
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Post by sheilathetank on Apr 18, 2018 11:30:13 GMT -6
When I read the OP in real time, I just KNEW this was going to come around to flaming. We are nothing if not consistent. You saw a thread titled “How much trouble are we in?” About not paying taxes for 3 years and you knew there was going to be a flaming? Holy shit, I’m posting with Nostradamus. It could have been a thread about which toilet paper to buy and there would have been flaming. The board has been slow and people are getting jumpy.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 18, 2018 11:30:55 GMT -6
I mean I agree it was irresponsible for OP not to file taxes for 3 years and I fully admit that I have a hard time understanding how that could happen (even including the hard circumstances), BUT, there is quite literally nothing to be gained from talking about what her or her H should have done. Because it's done and she is very obviously handling it now.
And hopefully will not let it happen again.
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Cher
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Post by Cher on Apr 18, 2018 11:32:11 GMT -6
Going forward, if any of you are ever in a place not to do your taxes, I’m pretty sure Brux will do them for you. She just wants to know your address and how much money you made.
So ... weigh your options.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 18, 2018 11:33:40 GMT -6
Some times this just feels good, I guess.
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Post by microworm on Apr 18, 2018 11:34:15 GMT -6
When I read the OP in real time, I just KNEW this was going to come around to flaming. We are nothing if not consistent. You saw a thread titled “How much trouble are we in?” About not paying taxes for 3 years and you knew there was going to be a flaming? Holy shit, I’m posting with Nostradamus. It certainly took longer than I expected.
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Cher
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Post by Cher on Apr 18, 2018 11:37:37 GMT -6
You saw a thread titled “How much trouble are we in?” About not paying taxes for 3 years and you knew there was going to be a flaming? Holy shit, I’m posting with Nostradamus. It certainly took longer than I expected. You know we like to draw these things out. This thread will go on for another three days.
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sterling
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Post by sterling on Apr 18, 2018 11:37:50 GMT -6
6 pages!
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Post by microworm on Apr 18, 2018 11:41:43 GMT -6
It certainly took longer than I expected. You know we like to draw these things out. This thread will go on for another three days. Only Nostradamus could tell us what topic we would be on at that point. Butt stuff probably.
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Pizzaslut
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Post by Pizzaslut on Apr 18, 2018 11:42:12 GMT -6
BUT, there is quite literally nothing to be gained from talking about what her or her H should have done. People are constantly flamed here for things they admit were wrong. We are consistent.
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