tater
Emerald
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Post by tater on Feb 8, 2024 17:00:13 GMT -6
This is a timely conversation. MH and I were just talking about moving to a lower COL so we can afford a house that is big enough for my mom to have her own space. It’s either that or I have to build a second story on my house.
We are also two only children with four living parents (2 of which we don’t talk to), but how do you take in one parent and not the other? This part of life is stressing me out. Dear diary.
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Pistol
Diamond
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Post by Pistol on Feb 8, 2024 17:00:22 GMT -6
Well. You know me. Fucked for sure! 😉 Guess I’ll start setting aside additional therapy funds now since lord knows we are already spending on therapy for 5/6 household members 😂 We're at 3/4 in out house. I think it would be 4/4 but work schedule makes it rough. 🤣
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elle
Ruby
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Post by elle on Feb 8, 2024 17:13:57 GMT -6
My tab situation got much better for a while after some chastisement here last year, but somehow it has spiraled again. I just noticed this morning that I have 384 open tabs. 🙃 I will address it today! Oh things spiraled for me over the holidays and my tabs got completely out of control. I just switched over to my new phone and declined when it asked if I wanted to import the 2k and some tabs over. Truly truly flameful confession. 🫠
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elle
Ruby
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Post by elle on Feb 8, 2024 17:16:51 GMT -6
My tab situation got much better for a while after some chastisement here last year, but somehow it has spiraled again. I just noticed this morning that I have 384 open tabs. 🙃 I will address it today! oh. my. God. 😆 Just wait. I had a busy day so I'm late but I think your head might explode.
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pobre
Ruby
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Post by pobre on Feb 8, 2024 17:21:42 GMT -6
Prop 13 sucks ass.
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fb
Platinum
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Post by fb on Feb 8, 2024 17:30:22 GMT -6
We live across the street from my parents and it’s amazing. I’m fully on board the multi generational living thing and if it were just up to me, we’d all live together. My ILs are looking for a house in my SIL’s neighborhood.
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Dr. Cox
Emerald
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Post by Dr. Cox on Feb 8, 2024 17:30:40 GMT -6
I would love to downsize to less square footage. The house feels too big for just me and my kids, and I’m tired of cleaning/maintaining it. Maybe I’m just tired.
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Post by CurlieWhirlie on Feb 8, 2024 17:33:15 GMT -6
I do not want my children to live with me forever. Is that a flame-worthy confession? DS2 is only about to be 10 so we have a while, but I'm looking forward to everyone living their own lives.
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tater
Emerald
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Post by tater on Feb 8, 2024 17:33:45 GMT -6
Also, assisted living/memory care is expensive AF. I don’t know how my mom would be able to afford that. I don’t know how I’m going to afford it when I need it-I just hope DS remembers I let him free load off of me for at least 18 years.
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Dr. Cox
Emerald
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Post by Dr. Cox on Feb 8, 2024 17:34:32 GMT -6
I do not want my children to live with me forever. Is that a flame-worthy confession? DS2 is only about to be 10 so we have a while, but I'm looking forward to everyone living their own lives. It’s not flame-worthy to me because, same.
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flojo
Sapphire
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Post by flojo on Feb 8, 2024 17:38:27 GMT -6
flojo Have you two known each other a LONG time? That's really the only way I can maybe stretch my brain to get there. H and I have been married almost 15 years, but I have also known him since we were 9 years old. While I don't see him making that same mistake, I did have my maiden name for a good long time while we were growing up/friends/dating. It still doesn't make any sense that your spouse would make that mistake. I could maybe see a friend or even a family member doing it. We dated for 6 years before we got married so not like since childhood or anything. You’re being very kind trying to understand his thinking, lol.
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piratecat
Diamond
Posts: 36,036 Likes: 143,917
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Post by piratecat on Feb 8, 2024 17:44:13 GMT -6
My tab situation got much better for a while after some chastisement here last year, but somehow it has spiraled again. I just noticed this morning that I have 384 open tabs. 🙃 I will address it today! Oh things spiraled for me over the holidays and my tabs got completely out of control. I just switched over to my new phone and declined when it asked if I wanted to import the 2k and some tabs over. Truly truly flameful confession. 🫠 Two THOUSAND?!
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Post by coffeecake on Feb 8, 2024 17:45:11 GMT -6
I’m sure this is regional, but a big issue with boomers not moving out of their large homes is a lack of other options. My mom needs and (sort of) wants to move, but to where? She is in her 70’s, but in no way ready for a retirement home. She doesn’t have any health issues. She doesn’t want to go into an apartment or condo, she just wants a small house with small yard close to us. But there just aren’t many places that fit that here. I personally like my space and don’t want her living with us. Our house, while fairly big, isn’t set up for it. Everyone would need their own space and it wouldn’t work.
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elle
Ruby
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Post by elle on Feb 8, 2024 17:47:27 GMT -6
Oh things spiraled for me over the holidays and my tabs got completely out of control. I just switched over to my new phone and declined when it asked if I wanted to import the 2k and some tabs over. Truly truly flameful confession. 🫠 Two THOUSAND?! I was legitimately shocked too. I used to be careful to keep it under one hundred but then the browser changed how things stacked and it became harder to keep track of, and then just too much effort to delete. So yeah. It probably doesn't help that I'm often interrupted by my kids which = opening up a new tab.
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Post by newspapers on Feb 8, 2024 17:51:23 GMT -6
We are developing our “village” in our building and it is great. The kids just go up and down and across between apts. And then we talk about everyone’s remodeling, lol.
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jaygee
Diamond
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Post by jaygee on Feb 8, 2024 17:56:37 GMT -6
I’m sure this is regional, but a big issue with boomers not moving out of their large homes is a lack of other options. My mom needs and (sort of) wants to move, but to where? She is in her 70’s, but in no way ready for a retirement home. She doesn’t have any health issues. She doesn’t want to go into an apartment or condo, she just wants a small house with small yard close to us. But there just aren’t many places that fit that here. I personally like my space and don’t want her living with us. Our house, while fairly big, isn’t set up for it. Everyone would need their own space and it wouldn’t work. Well and this is circular. Because my neighborhood used to have a lot of smaller homes (actually interesting history that many were built quickly after the 1906 earthquake in SF when people who lost their houses and needed to move). But since there is a lack of family homes (3/4 bedrooms), people buy these sub 1000 square foot homes, tear them down, and build a large home on the lot. It’s cheaper than other options. So starter homes or downsized homes are now in short supply. If I wanted to downsize in my current city, it would likely have to be to a condo or apartment. Which is fine with me as long as there are mobility options but it’s not for everyone. So yeah, it’s definitely that the options are not great for people.
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ponyhairs
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Post by ponyhairs on Feb 8, 2024 17:56:44 GMT -6
We are in the process of building an addition onto our house so my parents can come live with us. They currently rent a place in a LCOL area for $1900 a month but if they were to move down to our county they wouldn't be able to afford anything. People are renting rooms with no shared kitchen access for like $1300 a month. It's a great solution for all of us. I need help now as a single parent and they are in their late 70's with a whole host of health issues and they will have access to better healthcare and I will be able to care for them.
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Post by fancynewbeesly on Feb 8, 2024 17:57:08 GMT -6
We sold our much too big house for our family of 4 and even though it was my childhood home I have no regrets. It was way too big and under utilized with rooms that weren't even used. Our property was a wooded acre so my husband would spend ALL weekend every day working outside. It was just not practical for us. There were very few pluses to live there. I LOVE where we live now-our neighborhood and the town. We have an expanded ranch with lots of little rooms (only three official bedrooms)and a nice backyard. The only downside is I miss having a basement, but that is it. I also feel because the house is smaller and on one level, when we become empty nesters we won't have to really downsize or plan how to change the layout/rooms to fit us better.
However, we don't have room to have multigenerational living---my parents I am not worried about as much, they are more than living comfortably. However my MIL I do worry about because DH and I don't have a real extra bedroom and she has a lot of mental health issues as well, which makes the whole situation harder.
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wasabi
Moderator
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Post by wasabi on Feb 8, 2024 17:59:45 GMT -6
I have a bit of a confession. DD’s dad is a loser. I don’t feel bad about that even though I know a lot of people would like to have me list all the reasons why he has ended up where he is and try to justify it and make me feel bad for him. I don’t. He rents a room from someone, and doesn’t have a car. There’s no reason he is in the position he’s in at his age other than just being dumb.
He gets DD every Friday and does whatever with her but it never is anything productive, as in taking her shopping or doing anything she needs. I mean, he doesn’t have a car, so. I also get almost no child support.
I have found myself making comments here and there that I know I’ll regret because I have always been very “don’t talk shit about your ex in front of your kid.” But for example today, she really wanted to go to target today for fake nails because she has a vday dance tomorrow. I did tell her we could MAYBE go today yesterday but tbh I ended up having a rough day with getting up at 4am for work (with a baby who still wakes multiple times per night) and getting home right as SO needed to go to work so like no breaks at all and a baby who wouldn’t nap. Anyway she was upset because I picked her up from school and she was like, Target? And I was like… ummmmm no. There is no part of my being that can handle that right now with a baby that hasn’t napped and a toddler and no sleep and just omg it was just too much today.
She was clearly upset and I frustratingly said, maybe your dad can get an Uber and take you? 😬
Blah. What I actually ended up doing was ordering them for pickup. I’ll either go tonight or tomorrow and she’ll have them for her dance. I don’t expect very much at all from her dad, but I do get frustrated that there are so many more ways he could be helping that he isn’t. And I don’t want her to see how much it frustrates me, but it’s hard to hide sometimes.
Now that I’ve typed this out… it’s a lot. But typing it out has been somewhat of a release so I’m going to post against my better judgement lol
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Post by GhoatMonket on Feb 8, 2024 18:02:59 GMT -6
I’m sure this is regional, but a big issue with boomers not moving out of their large homes is a lack of other options. My mom needs and (sort of) wants to move, but to where? She is in her 70’s, but in no way ready for a retirement home. She doesn’t have any health issues. She doesn’t want to go into an apartment or condo, she just wants a small house with small yard close to us. But there just aren’t many places that fit that here. I personally like my space and don’t want her living with us. Our house, while fairly big, isn’t set up for it. Everyone would need their own space and it wouldn’t work. Inventory on "starter" homes (which would be reasonable for a downsize too) is not great here. And what is left has jumped up so much in the last couple years or they are falling apart.
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Pizzaslut
Ruby
*it’s a joke. get some hobbies.
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Post by Pizzaslut on Feb 8, 2024 18:07:19 GMT -6
If my H booked a ticket in my maiden name I would assume he was having a stroke. Honestly the best part was him thinking it wouldn’t be a big deal that the ticket name didn’t match my license. TSA is usually so breezy at Newark Airport! I did this for my honeymoon because I am an idiot and let me tell you, Delta was awful and the airline workers in Saint Lucia were confused. I don’t know why Delta couldn’t change the name on the ticket even though I called two months prior. I thought I was going to have to buy a whole new ticket to get out of the country.
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Pizzaslut
Ruby
*it’s a joke. get some hobbies.
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Post by Pizzaslut on Feb 8, 2024 18:10:19 GMT -6
No idea. He does have ADHD but, yeah. There wasn’t enough time to call United and straighten it out, so we would up buying another ticket with my actual, legal name. It was very confusing when they were paging me under my maiden name to check in for the flight but I was already checked in. Fun (and costly!) times. this solution confounds me even more! Is this what the airline told you to do? I would've assumed you could've worked with someone at the airport to pay the ticket change fee on the spot. I’m reading backwards but I called Delta two months before my flight and they wouldn’t just change my name. I had to take my marriage certificate with me to St Lucia.
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jaygee
Diamond
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Post by jaygee on Feb 8, 2024 18:18:08 GMT -6
Honestly the best part was him thinking it wouldn’t be a big deal that the ticket name didn’t match my license. TSA is usually so breezy at Newark Airport! I did this for my honeymoon because I am an idiot and let me tell you, Delta was awful and the airline workers in Saint Lucia were confused. I don’t know why Delta couldn’t change the name on the ticket even though I called two months prior. I thought I was going to have to buy a whole new ticket to get out of the country. I don’t know how it is now but I used to book travel for other people for work and you could not change the name once it was ticketed. Like at all. I had to stress this with the people I was booking for because I didn’t want to have to buy another ticket.
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Post by icedcoffee on Feb 8, 2024 18:28:12 GMT -6
Why do you open tab people not just bookmark the pages??
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elle
Ruby
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Post by elle on Feb 8, 2024 18:35:26 GMT -6
Why do you open tab people not just bookmark the pages?? Too permanent. I don't want to have to sort through those bookmarks later. And this is specifically a phone thing for me. No tabs left on my laptop.
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AmyG
Ruby
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Post by AmyG on Feb 8, 2024 18:45:13 GMT -6
Here they are building out tons of build to rent homes. Most are 1 or 2 bedroom small starterish houses . Each are like an apt complex with amenities. From my house there is one in every direction within a couple miles.
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Post by icedcoffee on Feb 8, 2024 18:49:59 GMT -6
Why do you open tab people not just bookmark the pages?? Too permanent. I don't want to have to sort through those bookmarks later. And this is specifically a phone thing for me. No tabs left on my laptop. It still sounds easier to go through bookmarks than see all those open tabs to me 🤣
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elle
Ruby
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Post by elle on Feb 8, 2024 18:55:23 GMT -6
Too permanent. I don't want to have to sort through those bookmarks later. And this is specifically a phone thing for me. No tabs left on my laptop. It still sounds easier to go through bookmarks than see all those open tabs to me 🤣 Oh see my phone stacks them, so they sort of disappear. And once you hit 100, it stops displaying a number, so yeah, it spiraled to a ridiculous amount.
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beatch
Amethyst
My ass is self-sufficient
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Post by beatch on Feb 8, 2024 19:00:00 GMT -6
I got it down to a dozen. New year, new me. 💁♀️ Come join me in my workaround. Instead of keeping tabs open, I’ll screenshot the contents and close the tab. So then I have 1695626 random pictures on my phone that I never look at! Those are my emotional support screenshots...
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wasabi
Moderator
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Post by wasabi on Feb 8, 2024 19:00:33 GMT -6
Why do you open tab people not just bookmark the pages?? I forget about bookmarks
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