abs
Sapphire
Posts: 4,037 Likes: 20,918
|
Post by abs on Feb 2, 2024 10:46:26 GMT -6
I agree being active is important but I disagree with the mindset here that sports are more important than anything else. We were at a birthday dinner a few weeks ago catching up with old friends and everyone looked at me like we were insane for letting DD prioritize band over softball. It was so off putting and cringey. Band has given my DD more confidence and enjoyment than any sport ever did so why wouldn’t we encourage that interest? It’s the prevalent attitude here though. Sports above all. I don't see why one has to come over another. There is a commitment made to a team just like to band. So, your commitments with both should be fulfilled. If you no longer want to participate in something that's fine too. Agreed. I think childhood/early teenage years should be about finding out what you like and don’t like. Try it all. If band is your thing then great. If it’s volleyball then wonderful. If it’s writing for the newspaper then I support that, too. There is value in all of it.
|
|
McBenny
Unicorn
#sickomode
Posts: 52,186 Likes: 296,689
|
Post by McBenny on Feb 2, 2024 10:47:23 GMT -6
6th grade was the roughest year so far in regards to phone and SM. Mostly because a lot of parents let their kids get phones and or SM in middle school for the first time. Some of those kids get that new phone or new freedom and do all the things.
|
|
McBenny
Unicorn
#sickomode
Posts: 52,186 Likes: 296,689
|
Post by McBenny on Feb 2, 2024 10:49:31 GMT -6
They encourage kids to try all the things in my area. They do not make them pick one thing over the other. So you will see football players who are in the band too. Cheerleaders who are in band too. Choir kids who play basketball too.
|
|
|
Post by sweptaway on Feb 2, 2024 10:53:57 GMT -6
SM can be detrimental for all ages and we need to show our kids this. We can’t take it from them while addicted ourselves *that doesn’t mean I don’t agree that it is bad for teens to have Sure but also- my brain is fully formed. You know? There's a difference.
|
|
melohdy
Platinum
Posts: 2,376 Likes: 13,188
|
Post by melohdy on Feb 2, 2024 10:56:14 GMT -6
And if your kid loves music or theatre or robotics or book club or whatever then that is wonderful! Don’t make them play a sport just because. Looking at you Texas parents! I totally agree with this mindset but I'll also admit that we make our kids do at least one organized physical activity. But it doesn't have to be a team sport and if they stop liking something they can always quit and try something else. Of the three kids only one currently does a team sport which involves competition/games. Our experience has been that our kids are happier and more well balanced when they're also being active and unfortunately there just aren't enough opportunities for them to be active if they aren't engaged in some type of sports course or team where we live. But I'm just speaking for my kids. We won't let them quit something that has a designated season or timeframe*. Before signing them up for anything (sports, theater, dance etc.) we talk about the time commitment and confirm that it is something they really want to try. If they decide they don't like it, we let them know that we never have to sign up to do that again, but that they did make a commitment (to their team, to a routine or performance etc.) Something ongoing like gymnastics or dance, if they're not preparing for a performance of some sort, we will let them stop when they feel like they're finished. *Of course if they were completely miserable, were being bullied, or other extenuating circumstances, we would let them stop
|
|
adelbert
Amethyst
Posts: 6,997 Likes: 40,184
|
Post by adelbert on Feb 2, 2024 10:57:31 GMT -6
I totally agree with this mindset but I'll also admit that we make our kids do at least one organized physical activity. But it doesn't have to be a team sport and if they stop liking something they can always quit and try something else. Of the three kids only one currently does a team sport which involves competition/games. Our experience has been that our kids are happier and more well balanced when they're also being active and unfortunately there just aren't enough opportunities for them to be active if they aren't engaged in some type of sports course or team where we live. But I'm just speaking for my kids. I agree being active is important but I disagree with the mindset here that sports are more important than anything else. We were at a birthday dinner a few weeks ago catching up with old friends and everyone looked at me like we were insane for letting DD prioritize band over softball. It was so off putting and cringey. Band has given my DD more confidence and enjoyment than any sport ever did so why wouldn’t we encourage that interest? It’s the prevalent attitude here though. Sports above all. Yeah that mindset would be way too much for me. For us being active is just one part of being healthy happy people- creative outlets like band are just as important. It's too bad that some people just can't see the benefits that the arts provide.
|
|
McBenny
Unicorn
#sickomode
Posts: 52,186 Likes: 296,689
|
Post by McBenny on Feb 2, 2024 10:57:34 GMT -6
In my area, band is one of the most intense and most time commitment things you can do. I am so thankful each and every day, my DD quit band before high school.
|
|
adelbert
Amethyst
Posts: 6,997 Likes: 40,184
|
Post by adelbert on Feb 2, 2024 10:59:11 GMT -6
I totally agree with this mindset but I'll also admit that we make our kids do at least one organized physical activity. But it doesn't have to be a team sport and if they stop liking something they can always quit and try something else. Of the three kids only one currently does a team sport which involves competition/games. Our experience has been that our kids are happier and more well balanced when they're also being active and unfortunately there just aren't enough opportunities for them to be active if they aren't engaged in some type of sports course or team where we live. But I'm just speaking for my kids. Similar but if we start a team sport I don't let them quit in the middle of the season. They may have started liking it at the beginning but change their mind in the middle of the season. We don't quit in the middle even if it's tough. Got to follow through with commitments. Then we won't sign up again the next year. Yeah we also wouldn't let them quit a team sport before the season ended as that wouldn't be fair to the other players.
|
|
|
Post by angelashly on Feb 2, 2024 11:01:15 GMT -6
SM can be detrimental for all ages and we need to show our kids this. We can’t take it from them while addicted ourselves *that doesn’t mean I don’t agree that it is bad for teens to have Sure but also- my brain is fully formed. You know? There's a difference. Yes their brain isn’t fully functioning but adults are also seeing that harmful stuff and it isn’t good for their mental health. I think there can be more done than just taking it away all together. There are people are out there who do fad diets and unhealthy things because they see their friends who are skinny on SM. What about the families who go into debt trying to keep up or have that IG worthy picture or the IG must have. I’m not saying that there isn’t more that needs to be done to safeguard kids but I don’t know that taking away SM is the answer there needs to be safeguards put in place and teaching done at home too.
|
|
|
Post by lucilleaustero on Feb 2, 2024 11:05:40 GMT -6
My 9 year old nephew hates sports, all sports. He is also struggling socially and is highly quirky (keeping my professional thoughts to myself here). His dad is a middle school gym teacher. Nephew just wants to draw Sonic over and over and my bil is constantly going off on him about sports. They sign him up fro sports, make him go, and get mad at him for having anxiety and isolating himself.
There is a ton to unpack with my nephew and his parents, but they need a hard stop with the athletics thing.
|
|
mapleme
Amethyst
Posts: 6,067 Likes: 16,083
|
Post by mapleme on Feb 2, 2024 11:07:40 GMT -6
And if your kid loves music or theatre or robotics or book club or whatever then that is wonderful! Don’t make them play a sport just because. Looking at you Texas parents! I totally agree with this mindset but I'll also admit that we make our kids do at least one organized physical activity. But it doesn't have to be a team sport and if they stop liking something they can always quit and try something else. Of the three kids only one currently does a team sport which involves competition/games. Our experience has been that our kids are happier and more well balanced when they're also being active and unfortunately there just aren't enough opportunities for them to be active if they aren't engaged in some type of sports course or team where we live. But I'm just speaking for my kids. Yeah, I'm here too. I don't care what physical activity my kids do and I don't care if they are good at it. But I do care that they are moving their body in an organized way and that they follow through with their commitments (so we don't quit mid-session). I, personally, don't like traditional sports at all, but it took my well into adulthood to realize the importance of moving my body every day. So now I exercise daily and my brain is happier for it. I wish that there were more non-competitive physical activities available for kids as they get older. Like hobby-leagues.
|
|
|
Post by lucilleaustero on Feb 2, 2024 11:08:08 GMT -6
So, this go around with covid has me sneezing and coughing nonstop. As a result by sneeze or cough number 5 or 6, I piss myself a little. Doesn't matter if I just peed. Apparently pelvic floor therapy only covers the first 4 or 5 coughs and sneezes. I am going through more pads than on my period.
|
|
STP
Diamond
Posts: 43,336 Likes: 314,830
|
Post by STP on Feb 2, 2024 11:09:58 GMT -6
No kids I know are interested in Facebook. It's Snapchat, TT, and IG.
|
|
|
Post by angelashly on Feb 2, 2024 11:12:28 GMT -6
No kids I know are interested in Facebook. It's Snapchat, TT, and IG. Stupid Snapchat
|
|
STP
Diamond
Posts: 43,336 Likes: 314,830
|
Post by STP on Feb 2, 2024 11:13:51 GMT -6
Not everyone is served by organized physical activity (I certainly am not) and I won't force my kids to do it if they don't want to.
I think there's a weird mindset around exercise which we code in "move your body" and no, it doesn't benefit everyone in the same way.
If kids are happy, socializing in healthy ways, healthy in general, and doing well in school, I can't get it up to care about how they choose to spend their free time. I in no way benefited by being forced into things I didn't want to do, it simply made me feel disrespected and anxious. I listen to them, and go from there.
DD likes sports. DS doesn't. Both are perfectly valid.
|
|
STP
Diamond
Posts: 43,336 Likes: 314,830
|
Post by STP on Feb 2, 2024 11:15:25 GMT -6
My 9 year old nephew hates sports, all sports. He is also struggling socially and is highly quirky (keeping my professional thoughts to myself here). His dad is a middle school gym teacher. Nephew just wants to draw Sonic over and over and my bil is constantly going off on him about sports. They sign him up fro sports, make him go, and get mad at him for having anxiety and isolating himself. There is a ton to unpack with my nephew and his parents, but they need a hard stop with the athletics thing. That's so awful.
|
|
|
Post by coffeecake on Feb 2, 2024 11:16:09 GMT -6
In my area, band is one of the most intense and most time commitment things you can do. I am so thankful each and every day, my DD quit band before high school. Band and swimming are crazy commitments where I am. No thank you. If my kids really wanted to do it, I would of course make it work, but I’m glad neither are interested in those activities.
|
|
abs
Sapphire
Posts: 4,037 Likes: 20,918
|
Post by abs on Feb 2, 2024 11:18:06 GMT -6
In my area, band is one of the most intense and most time commitment things you can do. I am so thankful each and every day, my DD quit band before high school. Oh I don’t think DD has any idea what she’s getting in to. I mean we’ve told her but you don’t know until you know. She loves music and playing brings her joy though so I support it. But yes. It’s a bigger commitment than any sport.
|
|
STP
Diamond
Posts: 43,336 Likes: 314,830
|
Post by STP on Feb 2, 2024 11:20:10 GMT -6
I personally feel a lot of people overthink kid activities.
They both communicated pretty early on what they were interested in, we just payed attention. And then we tried it out. Some stuck, some didn't. It was never forced or a chore, because what the fuck do I care ultimately.
|
|
|
Post by angelashly on Feb 2, 2024 11:21:39 GMT -6
Not everyone is served by organized physical activity (I certainly am not) and I won't force my kids to do it if they don't want to. I think there's a weird mindset around exercise which we code in "move your body" and no, it doesn't benefit everyone in the same way. If kids are happy, socializing in healthy ways, healthy in general, and doing well in school, I can't get it up to care about how they choose to spend their free time. I in no way benefited by being forced into things I didn't want to do, it simply made me feel disrespected and anxious. I listen to them, and go from there. DD likes sports. DS doesn't. Both are perfectly valid. DD’s daily activity is her TikTok dancing she does for 20-30 minutes trying to learn or perfect whatever she is learning at the time. It’s what she likes to do. She also has gym and they actually are doing a great job of introducing different sports. She just finished hockey.
|
|
|
Post by lucilleaustero on Feb 2, 2024 11:22:14 GMT -6
My 9 year old nephew hates sports, all sports. He is also struggling socially and is highly quirky (keeping my professional thoughts to myself here). His dad is a middle school gym teacher. Nephew just wants to draw Sonic over and over and my bil is constantly going off on him about sports. They sign him up fro sports, make him go, and get mad at him for having anxiety and isolating himself. There is a ton to unpack with my nephew and his parents, but they need a hard stop with the athletics thing. That's so awful. Yeah, it is really upsetting. Just had a serious conversation with my sil about her husband 2 weeks ago and she knows, she sees it, but but but.
|
|
pobre
Ruby
Posts: 22,375 Likes: 203,340
|
Post by pobre on Feb 2, 2024 11:24:37 GMT -6
So, this go around with covid has me sneezing and coughing nonstop. As a result by sneeze or cough number 5 or 6, I piss myself a little. Doesn't matter if I just peed. Apparently pelvic floor therapy only covers the first 4 or 5 coughs and sneezes. I am going through more pads than on my period. I can't tell if this is serious (the insurance part) but I would just lie about it.
|
|
|
Post by lucilleaustero on Feb 2, 2024 11:25:27 GMT -6
We let the kids try whatever they wanted to try. DD quickly honed in on dance and theater. At age 12.5, she does tap, hip hop, jazz, ballet, recital company and the school musicals.
DS plays 4 sports. And if we had time to fit in ice hockey, I bet he would play that too.
|
|
|
Post by lucilleaustero on Feb 2, 2024 11:26:53 GMT -6
So, this go around with covid has me sneezing and coughing nonstop. As a result by sneeze or cough number 5 or 6, I piss myself a little. Doesn't matter if I just peed. Apparently pelvic floor therapy only covers the first 4 or 5 coughs and sneezes. I am going through more pads than on my period. I can't tell if this is serious (the insurance part) but I would just lie about it. Nah, that was my attempt at a joke. Like, 6 months of pelvic floor therapy and I have only gotten to the point where I can keep it in for 4 or 5 sneezes.
|
|
pobre
Ruby
Posts: 22,375 Likes: 203,340
|
Post by pobre on Feb 2, 2024 11:28:07 GMT -6
I am probably going to have to go before a committee for how many absences DS has this year and I truly do not give a fuck. There is a 0.0% chance they hold him back so I just throw the letters in the garbage.
|
|
pobre
Ruby
Posts: 22,375 Likes: 203,340
|
Post by pobre on Feb 2, 2024 11:28:49 GMT -6
I can't tell if this is serious (the insurance part) but I would just lie about it. Nah, that was my attempt at a joke. Like, 6 months of pelvic floor therapy and I have only gotten to the point where I can keep it in for 4 or 5 sneezes. I guess I made up the insurance part lol. I am dealing with my insurance co today so my mind went there. I hope you feel better and stop pissing yourself soon.
|
|
|
Post by newspapers on Feb 2, 2024 11:29:54 GMT -6
|
|
|
Post by newspapers on Feb 2, 2024 11:36:19 GMT -6
DD1 will be required to play sports for school next year, so that takes our insistence out of the equation, at least. We do have her get physical activity now, mostly in ways she enjoys more or less. DD2 does three different types of dance, and she likes it even more this year now that she got to drop ballet in favor of jazz.
|
|
STP
Diamond
Posts: 43,336 Likes: 314,830
|
Post by STP on Feb 2, 2024 11:45:07 GMT -6
Thank goodness our school has alternatives to gym requirements! If you complete two seasons of a sport in HS that counts as your gym credit. Marching band counts as a sport (and an art), along with color guard, cheer, dance. They also have strength and conditioning for those who prefer to lift, and lifestyle fitness. They try to reach everyone at their level instead of just traditional gym. One of my best friends took bowling by correspondence to complete her PE requirement for reasons I can't remember. That still makes me chuckle. (She's a runner now, which makes it even more amusing).
|
|
|
Post by coffeecake on Feb 2, 2024 11:48:20 GMT -6
I personally feel a lot of people overthink kid activities. They both communicated pretty early on what they were interested in, we just payed attention. And then we tried it out. Some stuck, some didn't. It was never forced or a chore, because what the fuck do I care ultimately. I agree, but I think the problem is that so many parents give way too many fucks about what their kid is going to do. I have friends who I like very much and are otherwise normal people who require kids to do certain sports or activities even though the kids don’t like it. It’s so annoying to me. When my DD was in kindergarten I had a mom(who I had just met) tell me I was wrong for letting my kid try rec cheerleading because it wasn’t teaching positive values and wouldn’t be a form of lifelong exercise. She said they were a tennis family and every kid was required to play tennis. Wtf? My DD was 5 and just wanted to shake a pompom around.
|
|