Rama
Platinum
Posts: 1,904
Likes: 6,778
|
Post by Rama on Dec 5, 2017 11:17:55 GMT -6
mattsgirl2004 That's not cool. Are you an in-home provider or private? Do they pay you for the extra hours they make you care for their kids when they're late or is it in your contract that you get paid a certain amount per day? I'd have a word with them if they weren't sticking with the pre-agreed upon times.
|
|
whatsit
Platinum
Posts: 2,394 Likes: 14,458 
|
Post by whatsit on Dec 5, 2017 11:22:19 GMT -6
mattsgirl2004 Really? What is with this family?! I’m so glad you made them wait though. I forget- have you given them an end date?
|
|
cp3
Opal
Posts: 7,895
Likes: 34,435
|
Post by cp3 on Dec 5, 2017 12:25:30 GMT -6
Yikes tinyjoys. I hope the insurance doesn't give you a hard time. |
|
|
|
Post by kayladawn91 on Dec 5, 2017 12:39:37 GMT -6
I had a doc appt this morning and it went well! I get to see baby on my 3rd trimester ultrasound at my next appt and I'm so excited!!! And also it blows my mind that I'll technically be in 3rd tri at my next appt. 😳😱
|
|
|
|
Post by sweetc129 on Dec 5, 2017 12:52:14 GMT -6
mattsgirl2004 Hell no. That is not cool. It's one thing if they ask you previously because there is an unexpected event that came up, it's another to take advantage of your services. I would continue to keep the doors locked until you're "open" and talk to them about late pick up fees if you haven't already. This is standard for childcare in-home or daycare.
|
|
|
|
Post by sweetc129 on Dec 5, 2017 12:55:58 GMT -6
And then there's a weird almost-guilt that comes with if your child does gravitate toward the traditional, stereotypical characteristics or toys. I really, really, really hoping that I can let my kid be whoever they are without my own biases, but yes, this. I know how damaging erasing a natural behaviour can be to someone's identity, so if I have a son that wants to do football and play with cars, so be it. Same with a girl and being a princess. Ultimately, I don't think kids start really gravitating any particular way for a couple years(?), so hopefully, they'll just have a variety of interests and I won't feel like I've failed them if they become someone that falls into traditional roles/interests. I never thought I would care much and be all my girl likes pink and plays with barbies fine she's a girl, but now that I'm a girl mom I am currently at an 11 that my 4 year old who now loves Spiderman can't find girl Spiderman underwear. I was also thrilled when she wanted to be Gekko instead of Owlette for Halloween. |
|
Rama
Platinum
Posts: 1,904
Likes: 6,778
|
Post by Rama on Dec 5, 2017 12:57:50 GMT -6
Universe give me strength, my tenant is the worst with money. He asked if he could give us his rent money this week instead of last week (for November) because his paycheck was only for 3 days that week, thanks to Thanksgiving holiday. No problem, we're not hurting for the money and it makes sense that his check would be short, no big.
We were talking last night about a live show of a podcast we all love and I'm buying tickets now. I asked him if he wanted to go and he could just pay us back when he gets paid this week. His account is in the negative. Not a little negative, significantly. Like, a quarter of his rent significantly. I need him out of my house, but good lord this is a mess. I worry.
|
|
|
|
Post by calendula on Dec 5, 2017 13:18:36 GMT -6
I really, really, really hoping that I can let my kid be whoever they are without my own biases, but yes, this. I know how damaging erasing a natural behaviour can be to someone's identity, so if I have a son that wants to do football and play with cars, so be it. Same with a girl and being a princess. Ultimately, I don't think kids start really gravitating any particular way for a couple years(?), so hopefully, they'll just have a variety of interests and I won't feel like I've failed them if they become someone that falls into traditional roles/interests. I never thought I would care much and be all my girl likes pink and plays with barbies fine she's a girl, but now that I'm a girl mom I am currently at an 11 that my 4 year old who now loves Spiderman can't find girl Spiderman underwear. I was also thrilled when she wanted to be Gekko instead of Owlette for Halloween. Conversely, I bought DS a package of Paw Patrol underwear and he was pretty upset that Skye (the female character) wasn't included. He was like, where is the Skye pair? IDK, kid. Patriarchy. That said...I don't sweat the interests themselves as much as I did when he was younger. We offered EVERYTHING and were militant about gender neutral clothing and programming from the beginning, and still, he could push a car and say "vroom vroom" as though it were genetically programmed. It is what it is. As he gets older, what I focus WAY MORE on is the behavior. It is shocking how at such a young age the stereotypes begin. Roughhousing, wrestling, wild and inappropriate behavior in public places all earns a shrug and giggle and "oh boys will be boys". No, boys will be held accountable for their actions and keep their hands to themselves. Its not hard. That has become the hill I'll die on as a mother of a son, way more than feeling guilty about his love of trucks or sports. |
|
|
|
Post by ArielMermaid on Dec 5, 2017 13:35:28 GMT -6
|
|
|
|
Post by calendula on Dec 5, 2017 13:51:07 GMT -6
omg i don't know about that but I'm trying! I'm taking notes from girl moms raising strong women, if anyone has any advice to share! |
|
|
|
Post by mattsgirl2004 on Dec 5, 2017 13:54:14 GMT -6
Universe give me strength, my tenant is the worst with money. He asked if he could give us his rent money this week instead of last week (for November) because his paycheck was only for 3 days that week, thanks to Thanksgiving holiday. No problem, we're not hurting for the money and it makes sense that his check would be short, no big. We were talking last night about a live show of a podcast we all love and I'm buying tickets now. I asked him if he wanted to go and he could just pay us back when he gets paid this week. His account is in the negative. Not a little negative, significantly. Like, a quarter of his rent significantly. I need him out of my house, but good lord this is a mess. I worry. I don't know how you deal with this situation so calmly. The dude needs to grow up and be much more responsible. Even more so, he's living in your home, so he needs to be considerate of that fact and ensure he pay on time, clean up after himself, etc. I'm sorry you're having to deal with it all. 😐 |
|
|
|
Post by mattsgirl2004 on Dec 5, 2017 13:59:10 GMT -6
Rama and sweetc129 I do in-home daycare. This family has been a thorn in my side for a year and a half and I finally told them they had to look elsewhere for care. I have a handbook, with policies in place for early/late drop offs, etc. They do get charged extra, but don't seem to care. There's been a slew of issues and this is just one of them. whatsit I gave them until January to find care elsewhere. I'm counting down the days.
|
|
|
|
Post by sweetc129 on Dec 5, 2017 14:03:38 GMT -6
mattsgirl2004, Glad you told them to look elsewhere, you don't need that stress. I'm sure you offer awesome care and another family would love to jump into their spot that actually respects you as a person and business owner. Good Luck.
|
|
|
|
Post by woodenshoes on Dec 5, 2017 14:05:41 GMT -6
mattsgirl2004, That is not cool. I am glad it looks like you won't be dealing with the much longer. tinyjoys Yikes! That does not look like something fun to deal with. I hope insurance does give you too much of a hassle. When I was driving to work I noticed that the wind had blown one of the neighbor's trampolines into another neighbors horse pasture. auri I hope you continue to feel better
|
|
Rama
Platinum
Posts: 1,904
Likes: 6,778
|
Post by Rama on Dec 5, 2017 14:05:49 GMT -6
I never thought I would care much and be all my girl likes pink and plays with barbies fine she's a girl, but now that I'm a girl mom I am currently at an 11 that my 4 year old who now loves Spiderman can't find girl Spiderman underwear. I was also thrilled when she wanted to be Gekko instead of Owlette for Halloween. Conversely, I bought DS a package of Paw Patrol underwear and he was pretty upset that Skye (the female character) wasn't included. He was like, where is the Skye pair? IDK, kid. Patriarchy. That said...I don't sweat the interests themselves as much as I did when he was younger. We offered EVERYTHING and were militant about gender neutral clothing and programming from the beginning, and still, he could push a car and say "vroom vroom" as though it were genetically programmed. It is what it is. As he gets older, what I focus WAY MORE on is the behavior. It is shocking how at such a young age the stereotypes begin. Roughhousing, wrestling, wild and inappropriate behavior in public places all earns a shrug and giggle and "oh boys will be boys". No, boys will be held accountable for their actions and keep their hands to themselves. Its not hard. That has become the hill I'll die on as a mother of a son, way more than feeling guilty about his love of trucks or sports. Teach me, sensei |
|
tinyjoys
Ruby
Posts: 16,925 Likes: 54,463
|
Post by tinyjoys on Dec 5, 2017 14:10:42 GMT -6
woodenshoes, so far, there hasn't been too much hassle, *fingers crossed* *knocks on all the woods* They've already sent out someone from the company that will be doing the repairs for initial pictures, and that guy has sent out someone to remove the tree, and he's already called the carpenter to come take more pictures of damages and tarp off to keep off more damage.
|
|
yianna
Gold
Posts: 950 Likes: 2,704
|
Post by yianna on Dec 5, 2017 14:15:22 GMT -6
I never thought I would care much and be all my girl likes pink and plays with barbies fine she's a girl, but now that I'm a girl mom I am currently at an 11 that my 4 year old who now loves Spiderman can't find girl Spiderman underwear. I was also thrilled when she wanted to be Gekko instead of Owlette for Halloween. Conversely, I bought DS a package of Paw Patrol underwear and he was pretty upset that Skye (the female character) wasn't included. He was like, where is the Skye pair? IDK, kid. Patriarchy. That said...I don't sweat the interests themselves as much as I did when he was younger. We offered EVERYTHING and were militant about gender neutral clothing and programming from the beginning, and still, he could push a car and say "vroom vroom" as though it were genetically programmed. It is what it is. As he gets older, what I focus WAY MORE on is the behavior. It is shocking how at such a young age the stereotypes begin. Roughhousing, wrestling, wild and inappropriate behavior in public places all earns a shrug and giggle and "oh boys will be boys". No, boys will be held accountable for their actions and keep their hands to themselves. Its not hard. That has become the hill I'll die on as a mother of a son, way more than feeling guilty about his love of trucks or sports. All of this. My husband says this crap ALL THE TIME. NO. He will be someone's husband some day. He needs to be able to treat all people with respect. And he needs to listen. (or they in my case, but whatever). Conversely - when we get into arguments, or what have you, about things I remind him about his actions, and just simply say - do you want your daughter's husband to treat her like you are treating me right now? Whether that be in voice, or lack of touch, etc., if that makes sense? |
|
|
|
Post by ArielMermaid on Dec 5, 2017 14:29:42 GMT -6
On the flip side, I could kill my MIL for always saying how emotional little girls are, "such drama queens."
Thank gif she had 3 boys. My SIL (who has the "emotional" 10 year old) and I are so over it.
Fuck off with that. My girl isn't any more emotional than her boy cousin of the same age.
|
|
|
|
Post by calendula on Dec 5, 2017 14:37:55 GMT -6
On the flip side, I could kill my MIL for always saying how emotional little girls are, "such drama queens." Thank gif she had 3 boys. My SIL (who has the "emotional" 10 year old) and I are so over it. Fuck off with that. My girl isn't any more emotional than her boy cousin of the same age. Not being a girl mom (but being pregnant with one!) I've been trying to keep my ear to the ground looking out for the girl stereotypes, and I've heard this one twice in the last month! References to girls as "dramatic" or "whiny". Ugh. |
|
tinyjoys
Ruby
Posts: 16,925 Likes: 54,463
|
Post by tinyjoys on Dec 5, 2017 14:44:37 GMT -6
Right now, I have one of each on the outside (& will have two of one sex in April/May). My girl is so much sassier than my boy, but he's so much more emotional/dramatic. He is also all about cars and trucks and modes of transportation and she's playing with her little people princess castle as I type, but using a monster truck for the dolls to ride instead of a horse and loves to dress up in princess dresses while digging in the dirt with the pup while he freaks out about getting his hands dirty. *shrug*
|
|
|
|
Post by ArielMermaid on Dec 5, 2017 14:49:39 GMT -6
I get dramatic all the time. She's a toddler, so yeah she is. But not any more than her boy cousins.
|
|
yianna
Gold
Posts: 950 Likes: 2,704
|
Post by yianna on Dec 5, 2017 14:59:45 GMT -6
toddlers are all drama.
regardless if boy or girl.
and TBH the drama stays until 7 or 8, leaves for a split second, and then returns at 9. My 9yo... just pray for me because the dramatic tellings of a tween BOY have already started and I'm not ready.
|
|
|
|
Post by calendula on Dec 5, 2017 15:12:25 GMT -6
I'm an equal opportunity disciplinarian for bad behavior, lol. I don't care what sex you are, cut that shit out NOW.
|
|
|
|
Post by mrsmonogrammed on Dec 5, 2017 15:28:13 GMT -6
My DD (2.5) loves just as many "boy things" as she does "girl things". her favorite toys right now include a buzz light year, her play kitchen, and a superhero cape🤷🏼♀️ I assume DS will probably play with baby dolls and princess castles. Let someone try and tell me he shouldn't👊🏻
I also plan to be an equal opportunist as far as discipline goes. My rules are my rules no matter your sex!
|
|
|
|
Post by mrsmonogrammed on Dec 5, 2017 15:29:47 GMT -6
My H applied for a new job last week and got an offer letter today!! I'm very excited because it comes with some better benefits (more vacation, better schedule) and allows him to be off Mondays! He'll be able to take care of the kids which will be SO nice with 2 littles and I go back to work come July🙌🏻
|
|
|
|
Post by calendula on Dec 5, 2017 15:38:06 GMT -6
|
|
|
|
Post by calendula on Dec 5, 2017 15:58:29 GMT -6
|
|
|
|
Post by katietopaz on Dec 5, 2017 18:37:47 GMT -6
Oh my gosh, YES to the dramatic comments. I've had multiple people comment, once they hear I'm having another boy, "at least you won't have to deal with teenage girl drama!" Honey, my mom will tell anyone who asks that my brother had 10x the teenage drama I did. Now that he and I are both adults and look back to laugh and agree with her, that is. It has nothing to do with what's between our legs.
It's good to hear from other boy moms here about how you handle and balance if your son tends to be rough-and-tumble. I'm okay with DS wrestling and playing hard with DH, but we try to have appropriate boundaries for a 2.5 y/o (you can't hit us, shove other kids, play hard with the cats, etc) but I do wonder how it will manifest as he gets older and I hope we can continue to set boundaries without subconsciously giving leeway because he's a boy.
|
|
|
|
Post by dizzycooks on Dec 5, 2017 23:21:07 GMT -6
The boy issues I haven’t even thought of ...😳
|
|
whatsit
Platinum
Posts: 2,394 Likes: 14,458
|
Post by whatsit on Dec 5, 2017 23:24:54 GMT -6
The boy issues I haven’t even thought of ...😳 You’ll be fine! Your girls will teach their brother well.  |
|
