|
Post by officedronette on Nov 17, 2017 11:18:47 GMT -6
ldubhawksfan , my husband's company revised their policy and he gets 10 weeks paid, which he will be taking all of. He had 6 weeks last time, and it was amazing. I don't know how much time I'd push him to take if it was FMLA unpaid vs. his paid leave, but I do know a lot of my recovery physical and mental going so smoothly last time was because he was home and equally parenting. I also think it helped establish our roles as equal parents (I know different structures work for different families, but for us, I really need someone to pull at least half the parenting-related weight). He also believes that it's important to send the message at the work place that parenting isn't just "women's" work, and that men aren't more important to the workplace than women such that the world simply cannot function without him there. (He and I have talked a lot about parental leave lately, as we both were involved with revising our respective employers' policies, and we both see it as a really important political issue, especially for women advancing in the workplace.) That is amazing!!!! I know. I was high-fiving a million angels when I heard about the new policy. I really wish we had nationwide paid parental leave. (Senator Gillibrand's FAMILY Act - support it!! - www.nationalpartnership.org/research-library/work-family/paid-leave/family-act-fact-sheet.pdf) Family leave is so important and we should be providing a baseline level to everyone.
|
|
|
Post by sarahandben108 on Nov 17, 2017 11:34:39 GMT -6
That's truly amazing officedronette. Unfortunately for my H, there are only 5 people who work in his office and he is literally the only one who does the job he does. So, we have had to rely on his normal sick and vacation time.
|
|
|
Post by officedronette on Nov 17, 2017 11:51:27 GMT -6
That's truly amazing officedronette . Unfortunately for my H, there are only 5 people who work in his office and he is literally the only one who does the job he does. So, we have had to rely on his normal sick and vacation time. I've read this a couple times, because it feels rude not to respond, but I'm not sure what you're saying. He doesn't qualify for FMLA and that sucks? (I agree.) He's too important to take leave even if it were offered? (I disagree.)
|
|
|
Post by sarahandben108 on Nov 17, 2017 13:26:33 GMT -6
That's truly amazing officedronette . Unfortunately for my H, there are only 5 people who work in his office and he is literally the only one who does the job he does. So, we have had to rely on his normal sick and vacation time. I've read this a couple times, because it feels rude not to respond, but I'm not sure what you're saying. He doesn't qualify for FMLA and that sucks? (I agree.) He's too important to take leave even if it were offered? (I disagree.) He doesn't qualify for FMLA because his office is too small. So he has to use his PTO time.
|
|
jrun2013
Sapphire
Posts: 4,615 Likes: 28,577
|
Post by jrun2013 on Nov 17, 2017 13:50:11 GMT -6
Oh also the comments about how we have DD and now DS and that is "the perfect family" and now we can "be done." Look we were going to be done regardless and honestly I kind of wanted DD to have a sister. I'm over the moon we have a healthy baby, but all families are perfect and please kindly STFU. Omg, yes! People need to keep their opinions to themselves.
|
|
|
Post by ldubhawksfan on Nov 17, 2017 13:59:25 GMT -6
I've read this a couple times, because it feels rude not to respond, but I'm not sure what you're saying. He doesn't qualify for FMLA and that sucks? (I agree.) He's too important to take leave even if it were offered? (I disagree.) He doesn't qualify for FMLA because his office is too small. So he has to use his PTO time. Same with me with respect to fmla. Company of 6, so I guess I’m just praying my job will be around after this time. Though I’m pretty pissed off about a lot there recently, so maybe it would be a blessing in disguise!
|
|
|
Post by officedronette on Nov 17, 2017 15:11:05 GMT -6
sarahandben108, ldubhawksfan 😡😔😩😭 are pretty much all of my feels. I'm sorry that you have even less protection - FMLA is so little to begin with, it's infuriating that even that is inaccessible to so many. I hope you're able to get the time you need without any (unwanted) adverse employment situations.
|
|
jrun2013
Sapphire
Posts: 4,615 Likes: 28,577
|
Post by jrun2013 on Nov 17, 2017 16:00:19 GMT -6
Today was my last day at work and I could not be more relieved. Only about 2.5 weeks until baby gets here!
I was greeted by a woman I barely know this morning by her saying "you making any progress?" I responded with "um, yeah." She says "really, you're dilating?!" Uh, I just meant that he's growing.
WTF! First of all l, i don't know, second who asks somebody that, much less someone they barely know!
|
|
jrun2013
Sapphire
Posts: 4,615 Likes: 28,577
|
Post by jrun2013 on Nov 17, 2017 16:03:04 GMT -6
It's so shitty that people in this country can't even take much of a leave without fear of losing their jobs. There needs to be some major reform in this area.
|
|
rooskie
Gold
Posts: 993 Likes: 3,842
|
Post by rooskie on Nov 17, 2017 16:42:27 GMT -6
Today was my last day at work and I could not be more relieved. Only about 2.5 weeks until baby gets here! I was greeted by a woman I barely know this morning by her saying "you making any progress?" I responded with "um, yeah." She says "really, you're dilating?!" Uh, I just meant that he's growing. WTF! First of all l, i don't know, second who asks somebody that, much less someone they barely know! I’m refusing to tell people I know IRL how dialated I am. I think it’s weird that people care so much about other peoples’ Cervix.
|
|
|
Post by sarahandben108 on Nov 17, 2017 17:09:42 GMT -6
I know, it sucks officedronette. But my H works from home 4 days a week and my mom lives with us. So I won't be without help. It just would be nice if my H could've taken more time with us.
|
|
|
Post by officedronette on Nov 17, 2017 17:35:49 GMT -6
sarahandben108 - I'm glad you have some support! Just know this is one of my pet political causes, despite my relative good fortune personally. I will happily pay thousands more in taxes if it means a robust system for everyone.
|
|
rooskie
Gold
Posts: 993 Likes: 3,842
|
Post by rooskie on Nov 17, 2017 23:01:33 GMT -6
PSA - if anyone watches How to Get Away with Murder there’s all kinds of triggers this week.
That is all.
|
|
|
Post by ldubhawksfan on Nov 18, 2017 11:34:15 GMT -6
I forgot how much baby stuff there is. Two trips up 2 flights with the bassinet and pulling out boxes of clothes, etc. my back already hurts and it’s 9:30. I’m not even going to bother with the swings yet, but probably should at least pull out the car seat
|
|
|
Post by sarahandben108 on Nov 19, 2017 18:18:50 GMT -6
Today I washed my infant car seat. Like the actual fabric. We used it for N and it has been in the basement since we moved him to his current seat. I was worried it would be dirty and musty smelling but it looks and smells like new!
Sunday confession, I forgot how to unconnect it to its base! It hasn't been THAT long since N was in it, but I was a new mom all over again! 😂
|
|
jrun2013
Sapphire
Posts: 4,615 Likes: 28,577
|
Post by jrun2013 on Nov 19, 2017 20:54:26 GMT -6
Is there a time limit on reusing infant car seats? I swear I heard they expire, but I don't know after how long. DD is 3.5 so I should probably look into that.
|
|
jrun2013
Sapphire
Posts: 4,615 Likes: 28,577
|
Post by jrun2013 on Nov 19, 2017 20:57:46 GMT -6
Never mind, I looked it up and most car seats are good for six years, FYI.
|
|
|
Post by ldubhawksfan on Nov 20, 2017 6:18:56 GMT -6
Why TF can’t I sleep?! DD cried out at 2:15, dh went in, but here I am still up 2 hrs later. This is BS. Body, get sleep while you can!
|
|
sizzleb
Gold
Posts: 506 Likes: 1,255
|
Post by sizzleb on Nov 20, 2017 8:24:41 GMT -6
Why TF can’t I sleep?! DD cried out at 2:15, dh went in, but here I am still up 2 hrs later. This is BS. Body, get sleep while you can! Sleep is difficult for me too. Last time I slept so much better with an outside baby (even with getting up to feed, I could fall back asleep right away) than I did the last few weeks of pregnancy so I'm hoping that is the case this time around too!
|
|
sizzleb
Gold
Posts: 506 Likes: 1,255
|
Post by sizzleb on Nov 20, 2017 8:38:05 GMT -6
My H is going to take 4 weeks off (he'll be using his PTO also, luckily he has accrued that much).
Last time he took 6 weeks - 2 in the beginning, and then he took off the first 4 weeks I went back to work which was awesome. I knew I was gonna have a hard time adjusting to work again and not being with my DD, so it was so helpful to know he was the one home with her at first, gave me one less thing to worry about. Plus, I think it helped him on the parenting front to have to figure out how to take care of her without me around.
|
|
|
Post by sarahandben108 on Nov 20, 2017 8:47:55 GMT -6
Solidarity love tit ldubhawksfan, and sizzleb. My sleep has really gone even more in the toilet the last 1.5 weeks. It totally sucks.
|
|
|
Post by sarahandben108 on Nov 20, 2017 8:52:00 GMT -6
Never mind, I looked it up and most car seats are good for six years, FYI. It should say when they expire on the carseat. We got ours from my sister who had a baby almost exactly a year before N. N used it, and now this baby will have until June to use it before it expires. We will reevaluate about what we want to do when we get to summer. We have bases that will last another 3 years after because we needed 3 bases due to 3 different people transporting N. It was just a lot easier to buy bases than trying to remember to move them around.
|
|
|
Post by kensie5226 on Nov 20, 2017 9:18:24 GMT -6
It's so shitty that people in this country can't even take much of a leave without fear of losing their jobs. There needs to be some major reform in this area. Yeah it's extremely depressing when I feel "fortunate" that I can take 12 weeks of unpaid leave, but damnit no one can fire me. Ugggghhhh, such BS.
|
|
|
Post by kensie5226 on Nov 20, 2017 9:20:09 GMT -6
Today was my last day at work and I could not be more relieved. Only about 2.5 weeks until baby gets here! I was greeted by a woman I barely know this morning by her saying "you making any progress?" I responded with "um, yeah." She says "really, you're dilating?!" Uh, I just meant that he's growing. WTF! First of all l, i don't know, second who asks somebody that, much less someone they barely know! I’m refusing to tell people I know IRL how dialated I am. I think it’s weird that people care so much about other peoples’ Cervix. THIS SHOULD NOT BE A THING. I cannot imagine any outside of maybe my mom or sister asking this question. What is wrong with people?
|
|
rooskie
Gold
Posts: 993 Likes: 3,842
|
Post by rooskie on Nov 20, 2017 9:58:17 GMT -6
I’m refusing to tell people I know IRL how dialated I am. I think it’s weird that people care so much about other peoples’ Cervix. THIS SHOULD NOT BE A THING. I cannot imagine any outside of maybe my mom or sister asking this question. What is wrong with people? I’m pretty sure if I told my mom I was dialated it would show up on a billboard somewhere. My family is mostly female and they all like to talk.
|
|
jrun2013
Sapphire
Posts: 4,615 Likes: 28,577
|
Post by jrun2013 on Nov 20, 2017 10:00:21 GMT -6
It's so shitty that people in this country can't even take much of a leave without fear of losing their jobs. There needs to be some major reform in this area. Yeah it's extremely depressing when I feel "fortunate" that I can take 12 weeks of unpaid leave, but damnit no one can fire me. Ugggghhhh, such BS. The "dammit no one can fire me" is I think what makes us feel lucky. I can take a decent amount unpaid and have my position guaranteed at my school so I feel really lucky, but it should be better in this county.
|
|
|
Post by ldubhawksfan on Nov 20, 2017 11:20:00 GMT -6
Solidarity love tit ldubhawksfan, and sizzleb. My sleep has really gone even more in the toilet the last 1.5 weeks. It totally sucks. Yes. I don’t know what the last 2 weeks have been about but same here. Sleep hasn’t been great this pregnancy but it’s only been as of late that I literally just lay awake. I have never been anything but a solid sleeper, so yeah even with MOTN feedings every 3 hrs last time, I could fall asleep quickly once she was down. If that isn’t the case this time, I’m fucked. I am not functioning well on this little sleep.
|
|
|
Post by veganontuesdays on Nov 20, 2017 11:48:44 GMT -6
Why TF can’t I sleep?! DD cried out at 2:15, dh went in, but here I am still up 2 hrs later. This is BS. Body, get sleep while you can! E cried out at 2:15 too... weird!!!
|
|
|
Post by veganontuesdays on Nov 20, 2017 11:50:55 GMT -6
Guise. Take a benadryl before bed. My doc recommended it and bam. Sleeeeep
|
|
rooskie
Gold
Posts: 993 Likes: 3,842
|
Post by rooskie on Nov 20, 2017 13:16:02 GMT -6
I’m officially scheduled to be induced. We go in 12/1 to get everything started and my doctor is the OB on call all weekend.
|
|