vino
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Nov 13, 2017 15:18:17 GMT -6
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Post by vino on Nov 13, 2017 15:18:17 GMT -6
Parenting question- how do you explain to your children other's with special needs? There was an older boy at Target that was having outbursts and called C a baby once and jumped out and yelled "Boo" in his face on our way out. C told me he didn't like this boy because he was mean. I was trying to explain to him that the boy thinks differently and may act wrong but we should allow for more patience for those with special needs. C responds "Like B, at school?" No, B is just an asshole. (another subject) So how do you explain this, or do you? Follwoing. We’ve encountered this as well, and we have a close family friends son who is going through a autism assessment/possible diagnosis so I’d like to be prepared.
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trtlcrzy
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Post by trtlcrzy on Nov 13, 2017 15:19:29 GMT -6
When it comes back here in April will have Moana. I can't wait! I think it's Dare to Dream. H would love that. I haven’t heard of it coming back yet. It came a year ago this week the last time it was here.
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vino
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Nov 13, 2017 15:19:50 GMT -6
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Post by vino on Nov 13, 2017 15:19:50 GMT -6
trtlcrzy We have tickets to Disney Live Dec 30. I'm interested to see how that is. Do they have mascots in the stands when the show is on? B is terrified of mascots but I wonder if he’d like a show as it’s coming here.
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cagoldi
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Post by cagoldi on Nov 13, 2017 15:21:11 GMT -6
I got a call from daycare that we need to discuss L's behavior. Apparently she continuously pulls kids down, crawls on them and steals pacifiers. She also hits kids and they often have to put her at the table to keep her from other kids. So that's great... She's 1, what is there to discuss? This was basically my reaction when Dude almost got expelled from DC at around the age X is now (15 months). Irony? It was the Director's daughter who orchestrated that discussion. She's the Assistant Director. Her kid is in the infant room and the same age as X, and my mom said that kid is a terror.
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cagoldi
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Post by cagoldi on Nov 13, 2017 15:25:09 GMT -6
Parenting question- how do you explain to your children other's with special needs? There was an older boy at Target that was having outbursts and called C a baby once and jumped out and yelled "Boo" in his face on our way out. C told me he didn't like this boy because he was mean. I was trying to explain to him that the boy thinks differently and may act wrong but we should allow for more patience for those with special needs. C responds "Like B, at school?" No, B is just an asshole. (another subject) So how do you explain this, or do you? Follwoing. We’ve encountered this as well, and we have a close family friends son who is going through a autism assessment/possible diagnosis so I’d like to be prepared. We have sort of had this discussion, and Dude knows he is supposed to say, "I want to be alone" if someone does something that bothers him then tell a grown-up and we'll handle it. So basically, the same way we would handle it if they weren't SN but we have taught him to have a much more succinct response and walk away. I don't know if that's the right answer but I feel like it's the best I can expect of him at this age.
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cagoldi
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Post by cagoldi on Nov 13, 2017 15:27:11 GMT -6
wineallthetime Their receptive language is really quite good at this age, I swear by those Best Behavior books. You could try "Hands are not for Hitting."
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Nov 13, 2017 15:27:19 GMT -6
Post by peachsmama on Nov 13, 2017 15:27:19 GMT -6
Oh I also bought my friend a house warming present. The old bat that wouldn't leave their house, finally left. They had to hire a lawyer to get her out..
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tgrimes
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Nov 13, 2017 15:28:03 GMT -6
Post by tgrimes on Nov 13, 2017 15:28:03 GMT -6
trtlcrzy We have tickets to Disney Live Dec 30. I'm interested to see how that is. Do they have mascots in the stands when the show is on? B is terrified of mascots but I wonder if he’d like a show as it’s coming here. I have no idea but I'm happy to report back.
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vino
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Nov 13, 2017 15:34:39 GMT -6
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Post by vino on Nov 13, 2017 15:34:39 GMT -6
Follwoing. We’ve encountered this as well, and we have a close family friends son who is going through a autism assessment/possible diagnosis so I’d like to be prepared. We have sort of had this discussion, and Dude knows he is supposed to say, "I want to be alone" if someone does something that bothers him then tell a grown-up and we'll handle it. So basically, the same way we would handle it if they weren't SN but we have taught him to have a much more succinct response and walk away. I don't know if that's the right answer but I feel like it's the best I can expect of him at this age. Do they have mascots in the stands when the show is on? B is terrified of mascots but I wonder if he’d like a show as it’s coming here. I have no idea but I'm happy to report back. What about the show you just went to? Aren’t they all the same?
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slenle
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Nov 13, 2017 15:36:49 GMT -6
Post by slenle on Nov 13, 2017 15:36:49 GMT -6
flamingo, do you know much about North Captiva Island? I'm sort of fascinated by the idea of renting a house on this tiny island with no cars. It sounds so relaxing.
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nam2013
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Post by nam2013 on Nov 13, 2017 15:37:52 GMT -6
Re: explaining differences. Kids imo understand and grasp a lot more than we think if you explain things while staying close to the truth. Depending on comprehension level off course.
I might have said that I understand that the boys’ behaviour was not nice to him, you know to recognise his feelings. But think you explained it really well to C.
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tgrimes
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Nov 13, 2017 15:40:35 GMT -6
Post by tgrimes on Nov 13, 2017 15:40:35 GMT -6
We have sort of had this discussion, and Dude knows he is supposed to say, "I want to be alone" if someone does something that bothers him then tell a grown-up and we'll handle it. So basically, the same way we would handle it if they weren't SN but we have taught him to have a much more succinct response and walk away. I don't know if that's the right answer but I feel like it's the best I can expect of him at this age. I have no idea but I'm happy to report back. What about the show you just went to? Aren’t they all the same? Disney on Ice does not have anyone in the stands. I've been to 3 of those. Disney Live is on a stage instead of ice. I doubt anyone would be in the stands but i don't want to tell you that and something happen.
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tgrimes
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Nov 13, 2017 15:42:28 GMT -6
Post by tgrimes on Nov 13, 2017 15:42:28 GMT -6
When it comes back here in April will have Moana. I can't wait! I think it's Dare to Dream. H would love that. I haven’t heard of it coming back yet. It came a year ago this week the last time it was here. Then you'll just have to come visit me in April.
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guster
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Post by guster on Nov 13, 2017 15:51:16 GMT -6
I got a call from daycare that we need to discuss L's behavior. Apparently she continuously pulls kids down, crawls on them and steals pacifiers. She also hits kids and they often have to put her at the table to keep her from other kids. So that's great... It's the age, too! She's needs to make mistakes to learn. Ugh..
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Post by flamingo on Nov 13, 2017 15:55:24 GMT -6
She's 1, what is there to discuss? This was basically my reaction when Dude almost got expelled from DC at around the age X is now (15 months). Irony? It was the Director's daughter who orchestrated that discussion. She's the Assistant Director. Her kid is in the infant room and the same age as X, and my mom said that kid is a terror. Karma’s a bitch sometimes, isn’t it? I remember in B’s first year of preschool, a grandmother complaining vociferously to me at pick-up about her granddaughter being bitten that day (there was definitely a special snowflake vibe). I tried to downplay it, said that I was sure the biter’s parents felt terrible, etc. She was having none of it (and probably assumed it was my kid that had been biting). Turns out that little girl ended up being the worst in the class and had wracked up quite a few of her own infractions by year-end. 🙄
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guster
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Post by guster on Nov 13, 2017 15:55:31 GMT -6
Parenting question- how do you explain to your children other's with special needs? There was an older boy at Target that was having outbursts and called C a baby once and jumped out and yelled "Boo" in his face on our way out. C told me he didn't like this boy because he was mean. I was trying to explain to him that the boy thinks differently and may act wrong but we should allow for more patience for those with special needs. C responds "Like B, at school?" No, B is just an asshole. (another subject) So how do you explain this, or do you? Follwoing. We’ve encountered this as well, and we have a close family friends son who is going through a autism assessment/possible diagnosis so I’d like to be prepared. My nephew is autistic. We didn't do any previous prep when he came to stay here, but we tried to talk to Josie while his mom was tending to him when he was having episodes that we might need to be more patient with him and to give him space sometimes because he's trying to figure out a new environment and that it might be overwhelming for him and he might not know how to deal with it.
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Post by flamingo on Nov 13, 2017 15:59:56 GMT -6
flamingo, do you know much about North Captiva Island? I'm sort of fascinated by the idea of renting a house on this tiny island with no cars. It sounds so relaxing. Hmm, I don’t! I can run it by my dad, though...he’s been going since the 60s. I’ll let you know what I find out. There are some really nice rentals down there, I do know that. We have looked into them for the future since our group is starting to outgrow the condos at Tween Waters. A lot of them have golf carts so you can get onto Sanibel and Captiva for restaurants, etc.
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lfig
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Post by lfig on Nov 13, 2017 16:01:03 GMT -6
wedding vinoI have a reverse situation in that I’m the parent of the special needs child. But, in our case, my sister for instance, has talked to her kids (ages 5, 7, and 9)about Sierra and her disabilities from the beginning. Specifically that she thinks differently, and doesn’t understand things the same as they do. So she tells them they have to be patient and more understanding when she does something they might not like. They have been extremely amazing with her. They “help” her a lot, as do the other day care kids. Obviously in situations like the one you mentioned wedding, you can’t prepare for specifically, but I think just making sure your kids know that not everyone is the same. And that sometimes kids might act differently because they have special circumstances. I like cagoldi’s way of teaching them to just walk away if they are uncomfortable in a situation. I think it’s hard at this age. But if you teach your kid to be kind to all, then you’ve done your part. And there will be times they say something or do something that might not be so kind, but I think it’s an age thing. They don’t totally “get” the differences yet. And I think that’s ok. Just remind them each time to be kind to everyone and be patient and understanding. They will get it eventually. I think it’s easier when they have grown up with the child. When it’s someone they don’t know, it’s harder to accept and understand. But I have seen a lot of kids be so kind and compassionate, understanding and sweet with S. Some get frustrated sometimes, but that’s okay. It’s a tough age and they are still learning a lot. And on the flip side, I try hard to work with Sierra about paying attention to personal space, and following rules, picking up after herself, etc. I don’t want her to get a “free pass” just because she has special needs. I want to hold her accountable for her actions. Funny story before I end this novel... my mom was watching Sierra and my niece Abigail (5) a few weeks ago. S kept standing up in the kitchen chair and my mom got on her pretty sternly to sit down and A said “Nonnie, I think you should go a little easy on her, she doesn’t understand “. Lol. My mom explained that it was a safety issue and that S did understand. ETA: took me so long to type this I just saw guster’s post. I really like her explanation.
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vino
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Nov 13, 2017 16:09:06 GMT -6
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Post by vino on Nov 13, 2017 16:09:06 GMT -6
Thanks lfig and guster. We talk alot about being kind to everyone, moving daycares was a great opportunity to chat about this. But stressing words like patience and understanding will go along way, so thank you.
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Nov 13, 2017 16:34:19 GMT -6
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Post by wineallthetime on Nov 13, 2017 16:34:19 GMT -6
She's 1, what is there to discuss? Exactly this. I’m sure as long as they know that you are working with her at home, they’ll lay off. I’m sure they run into some special parrents in their field. Ok, you guys make me feel better. I was convinced my kid is the most hated in the class. The big bully. I explained we are working on it at home, but C is super physical and agressive which doesn't help.
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Monday
Nov 13, 2017 16:46:13 GMT -6
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Post by wineallthetime on Nov 13, 2017 16:46:13 GMT -6
I got a call from daycare that we need to discuss L's behavior. Apparently she continuously pulls kids down, crawls on them and steals pacifiers. She also hits kids and they often have to put her at the table to keep her from other kids. So that's great... And what are you supposed to do about it when you aren’t there? Sounds like it’s their problem to me. She said she just wanted me to be aware and to see if L is doing that at home too. I think she wanted to be sure we were working with her at home so we can all be consistent. I get it. L can be very... agressive and I do want to know that she continuously yanks kids to the ground and they have to seperate her from the group if a teacher can't be right with her. Her teacher was nice about it, it's still just a shitty call to get.
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klong11
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Nov 13, 2017 17:38:52 GMT -6
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Post by klong11 on Nov 13, 2017 17:38:52 GMT -6
Cadence beat up a boy at school. She was on top of him, hitting his head on the floor, put him in a headlock and later slapped his face. She is going to draw him an "I'm sorry" card to give him tomorrow. The teachers just said they weren't getting along today. And Cadence won't tell me why she did it. I feel horrible.
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guster
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Post by guster on Nov 13, 2017 17:57:53 GMT -6
I'm sorry @klongoria. That really stinks.
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Nov 13, 2017 18:04:19 GMT -6
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Post by wineallthetime on Nov 13, 2017 18:04:19 GMT -6
Cadence beat up a boy at school. She was on top of him, hitting his head on the floor, put him in a headlock and later slapped his face. She is going to draw him an "I'm sorry" card to give him tomorrow. The teachers just said they weren't getting along today. And Cadence won't tell me why she did it. I feel horrible. Well shoot. I'm sorry That's tough.
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Post by peachsmama on Nov 13, 2017 18:08:17 GMT -6
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wedding
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Post by wedding on Nov 13, 2017 18:30:36 GMT -6
That sucks klong11. Was he injured? I'm sorry.
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wedding
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Post by wedding on Nov 13, 2017 18:33:51 GMT -6
Thank you lfig and guster. I was having a hard time trying to distinguish between those that may need more patience and those just being a turd. I think I need to stick with the "walk away and tell a grown up" motto we've been doing and work on stressing how everyone is different. I haven't really spoken much about that since it's never come up but that's a good way to approach it. I really appreciate your perspective lfig and I just want to commend you for being such a strong voice for S. she is really lucky to have you!
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tgrimes
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Post by tgrimes on Nov 13, 2017 18:37:45 GMT -6
M is throwing up again.
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klong11
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Nov 13, 2017 18:49:07 GMT -6
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Post by klong11 on Nov 13, 2017 18:49:07 GMT -6
That sucks klong11. Was he injured? I'm sorry. No, he was fine. His cheek turned red when she slapped him, but it faded away and he was fine. He's just a sweet boy, so I don't know why she would try to hurt him.
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klong11
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Post by klong11 on Nov 13, 2017 18:51:15 GMT -6
Here's her card. She said it is her and him having a tea party at her house.
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