king26
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Post by king26 on Oct 15, 2017 0:25:21 GMT -6
muscari yay for 8 hours! You needed it! I'm like you, never happy lol. If he doesn't sleep enough or too much I worry. It's not easy being a mom. J had a decent stretch tonight ( no 8 hours thiugh!) Hoping the rest of the night goes ok to.
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addymac
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Post by addymac on Oct 15, 2017 4:01:41 GMT -6
So DH wanted to help me get some sleep this weekend so he’s been in charge of night feeds Friday and Saturday night. Awesome.
Except I just woke up and need to pump. It’s basically 5am. I asked if everything was okay and he needed another ounce in the bottle so I got it for him and he says “did you wake up at 3?” Me: “3? What why? Has he been eating since 3am?” DH: “yeah...” WHAT?! It shouldn’t take him TWO HOURS to eat- what the hell dude?!?! Refilling a bottle should only take a minute FFS - what the hell is he doing that it’s taking N two hours to eat??
I’m so fucking annoyed. Like I know paced feeding is impt esp with the reflux but this is ridiculous. How did he not think this was not ok? And the sink is full of dirty bottles and pumping bottles and my pumping shields weren’t washed. Like this is part of being in charge of the baby- you don’t always get to sleep immediately, you need to freakin clean up after him.
I assume it’s time to switch to regular flow nipples if it’s taking N so long to eat? I don’t even know what to do with DH right now I’m so annoyed.
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king26
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Post by king26 on Oct 15, 2017 4:12:05 GMT -6
addymac so he s been feeding him a bottle for 2 hours? Is he sure on the time? I'm not sure how it would take that ling. Also I get it with the H. My H gas been pretty great lately but j was fussing after a feed so he handed him to me. I said u have to learn to do this as u r watching him when I go back to work. He got annoyed and told me I was nagging. I was but it's the truth. Did you at least get some decent sleep?
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addymac
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Post by addymac on Oct 15, 2017 4:23:36 GMT -6
addymac so he s been feeding him a bottle for 2 hours? Is he sure on the time? I'm not sure how it would take that ling. Also I get it with the H. My H gas been pretty great lately but j was fussing after a feed so he handed him to me. I said u have to learn to do this as u r watching him when I go back to work. He got annoyed and told me I was nagging. I was but it's the truth. Apparently?! Idk I woke up at 4 when I heard crying and assumed that’s when he woke up, not at 3 but idk. Like we usually do a 4oz bottle and then add 1-2oz if he finishes. So 4oz could take close to half an hr- and then he just did 2oz and I gave him another oz for seven. How do 6oz take two hours if ounce 7 was given at 5am? Maybe he is wrong and N woke up at 4 not 3 but- still. Over an hour for a feeding is too freakin long. And DH gets so mad when I say anything about how he does anything - he says I’m criticizing and I need to stop being a control freak and to “let him be a dad to his kid”.... but like, THINK, DUDE, THINK! 😒 ETA: so he said he started feeding him at 3:30- still. An hour and s half for six ounces is ridiculous, right? I’m not overreacting? And I am choosing to release the notion that N woke up crying at 3 but “wasn’t tready to eat til 3:30”... like what? I’m not going to address that bc he already whined “why are you mad at me”.... sigh. Off to wash all the bottles and shit.
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bsouls
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Post by bsouls on Oct 15, 2017 5:53:22 GMT -6
addymac maybe the nipple was crushed and he was just sucking without getting anything? Sometimes R will be sucking and I’ll notice nothing is changing with the bottle, but maybe your H didn’t notice? Thirty minutes is average for R to finish 4-6 ounces with burps. king26 keeping leaving J with your H, even if it’s taking long showers. Also, encourage him to find what works for him to soothe J. But, he will figure it out when you go back to work.
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king26
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Post by king26 on Oct 15, 2017 6:51:07 GMT -6
I'm stressing today. Anxiety in full force. DH left early this morning and j and I are fine. He's being pretty good but use to his nap he ws being fussy . I'm just worried he's bored or I'm not doing what I need to do with him but I just don't know what to do. I ended up ceying, DH called and is on his way home even though I told him not too. I've got major.anxiety about going back to work and leaving j with DH and I don't know why. He isn't stressed about it.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 15, 2017 8:10:22 GMT -6
king26, I'm sorry you're dealing with so much anxiety. Do you think it could be more that you don't want to leave baby J at all? Not so much that you're leaving him with YH? I think taking some time everyday to leave might help. Even if it's only an hour. addymac, it does seem like a long time to take a bottle, and I could see how it would be frustrating waking up to have to clean the bottles and pumps. Try not to be too hard on YH though. He's going to parent differently than you and you won't be able to control his natural instincts. As long as the baby is safe, Id let it go and let him go through his own trial and error. Unfortunately men need more encouragement with this stuff, and if we are on them too much they'll basically give up. I've seen it with a lot of my friends previously.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 15, 2017 8:13:20 GMT -6
I think A has been already going through his 3rd leap and that is why he's sleep is crazy and he's crabbier. He wasn't to start it until tomorrow, but the app said he could start a week before or after. Hopefully the sleep gets better once he gets through this one.
We are going to a pumpkin patch on Tuesday. Even though A won't care, I'm pretty excited. This time of year I miss being in my home state for the amazing apple orchards!
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addymac
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Post by addymac on Oct 15, 2017 8:53:23 GMT -6
bsouls it’s possible- or that DH fell asleep and the bottle fell out of Ns mouth and he didn’t cry to wake him up? He’s awful at staying awake during MOTN feeds. It drives me crazy. @easilyunamused yeah, you are right- I am working on not saying things when he does something that I’m like wtf but Baby is fine. But he was all pissy that I was shocked he had been feeding him for so long- I’m allowed to be like wtf to that! sometimes it’s like if I say ANYTHING he gets all pissy. I told him dont bounce N up and down immediately after a bottle- he’s like it’s fine! And then N spit up EVERYWHERE- like dude. I told you this was going to happen! Oh well. It doesn’t even matter bc DH is barely going to be around for the next month with two back to back 80hr/wk rotations starting Monday. Sigh.
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muscari
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Post by muscari on Oct 15, 2017 9:10:34 GMT -6
Hugs king26 and addymac (and others) our experiences with our Hs sound so similar! Frustrating but am glad to know tis not just us....
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king26
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Post by king26 on Oct 15, 2017 9:12:07 GMT -6
king26, I'm sorry you're dealing with so much anxiety. Do you think it could be more that you don't want to leave baby J at all? Not so much that you're leaving him with YH? I think taking some time everyday to leave might help. Even if it's only an hour. Yes. I think that's part of it. In fact I said that when I was crying this morning. I did go out grocery shopping for an hour and feel better now. I'm not sure what is going on with me. I've made it a mission to leave the house alone 3 times a week and I've stuck to that so it helps. I need to stop feeling like only I can take care of he baby. My parents are going to watch him for the first time in 2 weekz. It'll be the first time both DH and I have left him. I'm nervous but I trust them more then anyone else.
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jexxa
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Post by jexxa on Oct 15, 2017 10:53:24 GMT -6
In the first 4 hours that everyone was awake this morning, DS has shit in his underwear 3 times (once that resulted in poop smeared all over the floor), he’s peed on the floor, and P had a poopsplosion so bad it required a bath.
Also, I’m constipated and have hemorrhoids. I’ve had them since giving birth and just sort of ignored them hoping they’d go away, but they haven’t and now that i’m constipated they’re really bothering me.
Send help. And wine. 😭😭
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cali
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Post by cali on Oct 15, 2017 11:30:47 GMT -6
jexxa, oh, I'm so sorry. That sounds like a really rough morning! I had a really bad problem with constipation and hemorrhoids for a while pp. It was fucking terrible. I've found that if I'm really diligent about drinking at least 64 oz of water a day it helps A LOT and I haven't had any issues for a couple weeks (pretty sure the hemorrhoids are totally gone finally). Also, Dulcolax was a life saver when I was having those issues.
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jexxa
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Post by jexxa on Oct 15, 2017 12:12:58 GMT -6
jexxa, oh, I'm so sorry. That sounds like a really rough morning! I had a really bad problem with constipation and hemorrhoids for a while pp. It was fucking terrible. I've found that if I'm really diligent about drinking at least 64 oz of water a day it helps A LOT and I haven't had any issues for a couple weeks (pretty sure the hemorrhoids are totally gone finally). Also, Dulcolax was a life saver when I was having those issues. Yeah my water intake is definitely lacking, and my diet isn’t the greatest. I had this problem after DS was born too and I remember it lasting quite a while. Sigh.
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cali
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Post by cali on Oct 15, 2017 12:13:54 GMT -6
jexxa, I have the hardest time drinking enough water. I don't know why but I just hate drinking.
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king26
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Post by king26 on Oct 15, 2017 12:20:00 GMT -6
jexxa rough morning foe sure! So DH wanted to give me a break today because he thinks I'm losing it. He's had J since 930. I swear the kid has slept and eaten. He hasn't had to entertain him at all. Wtf That never happens to me. I'm now worried he will never sleep tongith because he has been sleeping on and off all day. I have gotten some stuff done and it's been cute to see DH with J all day but it's been a cake walk.
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addymac
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Post by addymac on Oct 15, 2017 13:31:28 GMT -6
king26 it drives me bananas when DH takes N and he’s an angel for him! Two nights in a row he only woke up once. Like what the actual fuck dude! jexxa cali I had bad hemhorroids and constipation during pregnancy I just started taking stool softeners and Metamucil to help. It was like night and day for me. Now I take them less but still every couple of days when I notice I need a little help and it has helped my hemhorroids SO MUCH. (It was so bad I had to see a colorectal surgeon during pregnancy and got a consult for them after delivery). Ahhh pregnancy / pp - so lovely 😒
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Post by thinkchocolate05 on Oct 15, 2017 15:11:57 GMT -6
addymac That's frustrating with your dh. I am having to bite my tongue alot with my dh to let him use his own parenting style. Like the other day, I was handing him baby H, and I said "he's ready to play." So he said, "Set him down in the crib. I'll get him when he starts fussing," and went back to playing his phone. That drives me crazy!!!! It's hard to get him to interactively play with the baby at this stage. But with DS1, I was very controlling over how he interacted with the baby and micromanaged everything, resulting in a strain on our relationship, me being overwhelmed with baby care, and maybe less of a bond with dh and DS1. I'm trying to really step back this time and let him parent his way like @easilyunamused said, but it is so damn hard sometimes. king26 That's great that you are making sure you get out on your own. I am sure that you are doing a great job with the baby!! Sometimes they just cry randomly, and there are such limited things you can actually do with them at this age. I've had the same thing where I'll struggle doing something with DS2 and then dh will do it and DS2 suddenly turns into a magical unicorn baby and does everything perfectly. So annoying!!! jexxa I hate toddler poop. It's so awful compared to newborn poop. So sorry that you are not feeling well. My toddler is constipated, so I just stocked up on plums and prune juice. I don't know if any of that would help. Some of my friends from college visited for the afternoon. I haven't seen them since before baby H was born, so it was fun visiting.
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muscari
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Post by muscari on Oct 15, 2017 16:23:16 GMT -6
jexxa sorry your morning has been so shitty (pun intended 😁) - hopefully the rest of the day will be better! Can you get curanol cream and tablets overthere? I was advised to use those (both at the same time) by my OB and MW for my hemmies - one of the few things available here that is safe during BFing - and it worked really well.
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muscari
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Post by muscari on Oct 15, 2017 16:29:22 GMT -6
Oops i missed a full page of comments!
Re the hemmies, fiber and water really makes a difference for me as well. Just wish the metamucil wasnt so gross - they only have the pouches you dissolve in water then drink here. Should have bought a stack of the metamucil pills while in the US last year 😉
I started tracking my water intake while pg as I was really bad in keeping hydrated while at work, and continued to do so. It helps me to drink enough. I worry that I will F up my milk supply if I don't drink enough, too. I try to drink 2l a day which apparently is 68oz.
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king26
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Post by king26 on Oct 16, 2017 0:09:52 GMT -6
I think my h is mad at me. After j's first motn feeding he was noisy and inserted in his bassinet. H kept asking if he was up, was he sucking his hands, etc. Everyone he talked j would stir and whine. I finally told him to shut up and I think I made him mad. I feel bad but come on dude I want this baby to sleep!
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muscari
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Post by muscari on Oct 16, 2017 16:32:49 GMT -6
Wow tis been quiet here today! king26 I am sorry YH got upset when you told him to shut up. I hope it didnt last long. I know exactly what you mean though - I have had the exact same thoughts and may or may not have sorta told MH to shut it 😊 he didnt take too kindly either but omgosh don't you realize it isnt helping (no matter how cute and sweet it is!).
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muscari
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Post by muscari on Oct 16, 2017 16:35:44 GMT -6
We had a couple of pretty good days here. Sure little miss D still fusses and cries quite a bit but mostly in the evening and we have gotten used to it some and have a routine between the two of us now that seems to work. I still take the majority of the load on -both with the baby as with house chores etc- even when MH is off work so there is def some work to be done there still but overall things are rolling on smoothly as can be with a newborn around. Phew!
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muscari
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Post by muscari on Oct 16, 2017 16:36:20 GMT -6
Ohh and it is monday! So time for a new randoms thread? 😀
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muscari
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Post by muscari on Oct 16, 2017 16:37:55 GMT -6
Ohh and it is monday! So time for a new randoms thread? 😀 LOL the moment I wrote this I was thinking "hmmm maybe the reason it has been so quiet in here is because everyone is already chatting over at a new thread!" And yup! Silly me 😊😊
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