|
|
Post by duskymonkey on Sept 11, 2017 21:49:33 GMT -6
Y'all were busy this weekend, I see.  But we're not ready yet! It's not even mid September. BTW how are you doing? Thinking of you and baby Rama. SaveSaveSaveSave |
|
mkrupar
Moderator 
Posts: 1,504 Likes: 4,614 
|
Post by mkrupar on Sept 12, 2017 2:34:05 GMT -6
|
|
|
|
Post by blackmamba on Sept 12, 2017 3:26:11 GMT -6
|
|
|
|
Post by CoachTsWife on Sept 12, 2017 4:55:34 GMT -6
bootsorhearts1 I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. ;( Thinking of you!
|
|
Taitai
Opal
Posts: 8,305 Likes: 54,853
|
Post by Taitai on Sept 12, 2017 5:50:06 GMT -6
bootsorhearts1 Oh no - I am so sorry to hear about your Dad. I wish you safe travels and will be keeping your family in my prayer as. So sorry again.
|
|
Taitai
Opal
Posts: 8,305 Likes: 54,853
|
Post by Taitai on Sept 12, 2017 5:52:29 GMT -6
August Blooms I think taking the initiative and booking a ticket with an end date is a great idea. Also - good for you on taking matters into your own hands and building a special area for yourself in the house. You will need that private space and everyone should respect that. Your in-laws sound like a handful - glad you don't live close to them and hopefully this visit passes quickly.
|
|
Rama
Platinum
Posts: 1,904
Likes: 6,778
|
Post by Rama on Sept 12, 2017 10:18:07 GMT -6
Y'all were busy this weekend, I see. But we're not ready yet! It's not even mid September. BTW how are you doing? Thinking of you and baby Rama. SaveSaveSaveSaveSo far so good! We got to hear the Ramlet's heartbeat on Friday/Saturday, so that's been reassuring. Yay for home dopplers! |
|
|
|
Post by thatgirlrachel on Sept 12, 2017 11:09:54 GMT -6
But we're not ready yet! It's not even mid September. BTW how are you doing? Thinking of you and baby Rama. SaveSaveSaveSave So far so good! We got to hear the Ramlet's heartbeat on Friday/Saturday, so that's been reassuring. Yay for home dopplers! , so good to see you in here! Glad to get a good report on baby ramlet. How far along are you now? |
|
Rama
Platinum
Posts: 1,904
Likes: 6,778
|
Post by Rama on Sept 12, 2017 11:23:02 GMT -6
So far so good! We got to hear the Ramlet's heartbeat on Friday/Saturday, so that's been reassuring. Yay for home dopplers! , so good to see you in here! Glad to get a good report on baby ramlet. How far along are you now? 11,4! |
|
mkrupar
Moderator
Posts: 1,504 Likes: 4,614
|
Post by mkrupar on Sept 12, 2017 11:45:05 GMT -6
I love hearing baby Rama updates!! |
|
|
|
Post by seventythree on Sept 12, 2017 21:01:09 GMT -6
Hugs to you seventythree . Though my dad has been gone 15 years, my mom is still living so I'm not even close to in the same boat as you. But I do feel you and I can try to imagine what it is like and I'm so sorry. Does your H get it? Thanks, I'm sorry for your loss. And, hey, we're almost life twins again -- this month was 14 years for my dad. Every time I do the math I'm amazed at how much time has passed. MH really doesn't get it. I mean, he tries to be sympathetic, but sometimes I'll be up in my feels and he'll make comments about "not living in the past" and it's so exhausting to try to explain that he's got it all wrong. I'm allowed to grieve that my parents will never get to meet their grandkids and vice versa. It's not as though I go out of my way to make some huge deal of it around my ILs, either... it's always going to sting a little, I recognize that's my damage, but I don't think it's too much to ask that I not have it in my face immediately postpartum. |
|
|
|
Post by seventythree on Sept 12, 2017 21:26:53 GMT -6
Re: visitors, I'm lucky in that we don't have many people here who will want/care to visit the hospital. I don't envy those of you who are expecting a revolving door! I also have strong feelings about DD being the first to meet her sister, and about having some time with just the 4 of us. This gets tricky because MIL will be looking after DD, and she's the one person I really don't want to see at the hospital. She was our only visitor last time, and it was even worse for me than I had anticipated. We had a rough time at the hospital, and she was just so tone deaf and oblivious to how exhausted and miserable H and I both were. I mostly stayed quiet and let her have her grandma moment, but after she left I hard cried over the bassinet for a LONG time. Ugh, I know it's not anyone's fault that I can't have my parents there too, but it just hurts so bad. I'm glad I'm not the only one with a Mom and MIL like this. Do they not remember what newborns are like?? It's not all squishy cuddles. This is exactly why I don't want my mother to come and visit one month after kiddo's scheduled birth date. But I don't know how to explain that to her in any way she'll understand. I suppose she thinks it will be like any other visit when we go to lunch and go on little shopping trips and go out for dinner, etc. but I'll be sleep deprived, half naked and covered in breast milk most of the time and won't want to do any of that with her. Then she'll be hurt because she feels ignored. I get she wants to see her grandchild but she has no concept of how disruptive that will be for us. My MIL is not much better. She thinks she can help in the middle of the night and I have explained 16 different ways that there's really nothing she can help with if I'm breastfeeding and/or pumping and regardless it's nothing but stressful to have a house guest wandering around in the middle of the night asking what they can help with. You can help by going away and leaving me alone so I don't have to be self conscious about being topless (and maybe bottomless) with morning breath and my hair looking like something nested in it. /Rant over YES! I remember last time I talked to my MIL a LOT about how I really wanted to nurse and it's so intense at first and I'm just going to be walking around half naked etc... hoping to hammer home the message that we didn't want unexpected guests. She'd call and say she was 5min away and could she see the baby, I'd be like "uhh I'm not dressed", she'd say she didn't care but I SURE DID! Ugh. I remember my ILs being over one night and DD was fast asleep -- it was after 9pm, I remember that -- and they were just, like, sitting around. MH barely tolerates his parents, so it's not like it's normal for them to just hang out here. I think MIL was holding DD, thinking she was helping, and I wanted to scream GO AWAY SO WE CAN SLEEP BEFORE THAT KID WAKES UP. It's been over 2 years and I am still so hurt at how dismissive they were about what a rough time we had in the beginning. I think she straight didn't believe that the kid was up screaming every night from 10-1 or whenever it was...although she sure was quick to hand the baby back to us whenever she cried. Thanks, that's just what I needed. I do have to say that my aunt, OTOH, was amazing. She came to visit for a week and I was nervous about having a house guest for all the reasons you mentioned, but she was a rock star. She would literally get up at 3-4am and when we were done feeding she'd say "okay my turn", and send us to bed. She'd get DD to sleep in the living room and bring her up when she woke at 6 or 7, sit with me for an hour while I nursed (we had a really rough go of it), and then take DD so I could eat something and go lie back down for an hour. Even if she was crying... especially if she was crying! It took a few days to be okay with walking away from my fussy baby, but it made such a difference for us. I realize that my aunt is a total unicorn, she has 6 grandkids so maybe she just knows the drill by this point, I don't know... I just needed to throw in a nice story on top of my own ranting! I still have no idea how to manage my ILs, and if my siblings come they also don't understand that it's not like a regular visit and we don't have time to entertain them. |
|
|
|
Post by seventythree on Sept 12, 2017 21:32:05 GMT -6
Well I may be making a last minute plane trip this weekend. My Dad had a stroke this morning. He is in his late 80's and has advanced stage alzheimers so it seems like this could be the end of the line. He hasn't regained consciousness, may not but there's no way of knowing. I will run it by my doctor in the AM but I doubt she'll have an issue with the air travel. This has been the most boring pregnancy ever, for which I am extremely grateful, particularly now. Also waiting for my mom and brother to ask more questions of the doctor tomorrow before I get plans settled. I'll be hauling along DH and DS for the ride. Probably better now than trying to make a trip with a newborn though. I wouldn't risk taking her anywhere during cold/flu season which would mean I'd have to leave her and that would suck royally. Oh gosh, I'm so sorry to read this update. Wishing you a safe trip, and that you get to see your dad. Keeping your family in my thoughts! |
|
mkrupar
Moderator
Posts: 1,504 Likes: 4,614
|
Post by mkrupar on Sept 13, 2017 3:02:02 GMT -6
seventythree I'm sorry it's so tough with your ILs. My mom passed 10 years ago, and dad and I aren't ones to talk about it a lot, but weirdly enough, on our way to my appointments my dad and I started talking about mom. Today would have been her 60th birthday, and it hit me right in the feels.
|
|
|
|
Post by bootsorhearts1 on Sept 13, 2017 6:49:22 GMT -6
|
|
|
|
Post by seventythree on Sept 13, 2017 19:52:59 GMT -6
seventythree I'm sorry it's so tough with your ILs. My mom passed 10 years ago, and dad and I aren't ones to talk about it a lot, but weirdly enough, on our way to my appointments my dad and I started talking about mom. Today would have been her 60th birthday, and it hit me right in the feels. Hugs to you! Birthdays are hard, the sibs and I always get a slice of cake to mark the day. I think it's so nice that you and your dad started to talk about your mom, I know it's difficult for some people. One of my aunts almost always changes the topic, but everyone is different. |
|
But we're not ready yet! It's not even mid September. BTW how are you doing? Thinking of you and baby Rama.
