bethkate
Platinum
Posts: 2,410 Likes: 10,711
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Post by bethkate on Jul 29, 2017 19:41:34 GMT -6
Ummmm. Your neighbour is crazypants, bethkate. Wow. Total crazy pants. Last summer, the back window of my car was shot out by a BB gun. I KNOW her son did it. I've seen him with a BB gun. I went over there to talk to her and let her know I had filed a report with the police and she just talked about what a good boy her son is (right, the one that calls you the c word?) and swore he would never do something like that,
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Post by misskilljoy on Jul 29, 2017 19:52:02 GMT -6
I'm giving you a LT purely because you're going to join us in the lousy giant boob party, snuff9861. Join us in our misery.
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Post by snuff9861 on Jul 29, 2017 19:53:47 GMT -6
I'm giving you a LT purely because you're going to join us in the lousy giant boob party, snuff9861 . Join us in our misery. It is my greatest wish to be able to breastfeed one baby. I will gladly join if my invitation doesn't get lost in the mail this time.
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Post by AnnPerkins on Jul 29, 2017 20:44:19 GMT -6
My cup size, DD, has stayed the same, but I've gone from a 32 to a 36. I have a suspicion I will be moving up in one way or another within the next month, though.
No nursing for me (tried it twice and I just hate it), so hopefully I can get rid of my post-birth monsters ASAP.
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thatgolfb
Unicorn
Posts: 55,026 Likes: 234,926
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Post by thatgolfb on Jul 29, 2017 21:34:51 GMT -6
Ummmm. Your neighbour is crazypants, bethkate. Wow. Total crazy pants. Last summer, the back window of my car was shot out by a BB gun. I KNOW her son did it. I've seen him with a BB gun. I went over there to talk to her and let her know I had filed a report with the police and she just talked about what a good boy her son is (right, the one that calls you the c word?) and swore he would never do something like that, 😬😬😬😬 I'm so sorry you have to live near... That.
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beefinch
Platinum
Posts: 1,044 Likes: 4,404
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Post by beefinch on Jul 30, 2017 1:58:30 GMT -6
BF didn't work for me with DS. It took 14 days for my milk to come in, and I never got that 'full' feeling. My boobs were just slightly hard and rocky, so I knew the milk had finally come in. Wasn't know where near enough to feed DS as by week 2 he was taking 4 oz at a time, and I would only ever express 2oz.
Expressing started to take over my life to try and up my milk supply, never worked after 3 weeks, so I stopped. The milk literally dried up within a day, never hurt once, I never leaked or anything.
So any advice from pro breast feeders would be great lol.
This time around I'm getting everything I need for formula feeding before hand as I was SO 'I'm only breast feeding I don't need anything' with DS I had nothing at home, so on the way home from the hospital we had to stop in like 2 places to grab everything.
Felt like a failure at cried multiple times, but I was so anaemic after birth the midwives told me my body was focussed on getting better, not on the milk
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cnf
Ruby
Posts: 21,051 Likes: 101,654
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Post by cnf on Jul 30, 2017 4:05:18 GMT -6
bethkate, your neighbors are bananas! Add me to the breast feeding inability club. DD had a tiny mouth from being early, I have flat nipples, and supply issues. I started pumping day one in the hospital and my milk came in before we were discharged, but after about a month my supply dwindled. We did a combo of nursing (barely, like a couple times a day on a good day), bottle feeding BM, and formula. DD went on a nursing strike at 4.5 months so we gave up on that, but I was barely pumping an ounce from both sides and she was like 90% formula by then, so I just gave up. I had no pain or leaking since my boobs were practically empty by that point anyways. I'm still really sad at the crash and burn that was our breast feeding journey. It was basically doomed from day one and I limped us along as much as I could. I felt horrible about it until she turned one and we dropped formula. I'm hoping to have a better go at this time. I'd really like to know what it feels like to have the ability to just soothe and bond with my baby without shields, and a mess, and crying from both of us.
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Post by misskilljoy on Jul 30, 2017 5:07:00 GMT -6
I never really nursed either. I had the same issues, cnf - flat nipples and DD with a tiny mouth. I tried nipple shields and working with a LC but hated it. I managed to pump for six months until I developed a milk imbalance, so I switched to formula at that point rather than kill myself trying to fix it. I'm not even going to bother trying to nurse this time. I liked the small freedom pumping gave me (I had a huge supply so I pumped 3 or 4 times a day and was getting 60-80oz) in letting MH help with overnights, letting me go out, etc. I'm going to just go straight for pumping this time.
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pootsen
Sapphire
Posts: 3,889 Likes: 21,939
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Post by pootsen on Jul 30, 2017 5:09:08 GMT -6
BFing brings up some emotions for me. I tried everything to make it work. My supply was actually pretty good, but DS' latch was not. He was small, his mouth was a bit crooked, and he had a tongue/lip tie. We spent my entire maternity leave going appointments- lactation consultant, speech therapy, even chiropractor. The ST was the worst- she had us doing these oral exercises with our fingers in DS' mouth to try to make his latch stronger. It made him scream and I think gave him and oral aversion, so we stopped that. But the few appts we did go to were not covered by insurance so I bet we paid over 2k (for appts + lip/tongue tie correction) to try nursing. So much for it being free. By the time I went back to work we were only nursing 1-2 times a day and I pumped the rest. Around 7 months he stopped nursing whatsoever (with lots of biting and frustration- I never even got a peaceful "last" nursing session) so I said Fuck It and just stopped pumping and everything. He started drinking formula and did fine with it.
I feel like this time around I'm better prepared. If it works- great, if not- hello formula! My one piece of unsolicited advice to FTMs would be to read a book about breastfeeding or do some research. I had absolutely no idea what I was doing and I think that contributed to a lot of our "failure" and frustrations. And if you are dead set on BFing and it doesn't work out, don't be afraid to cut yourself some slack. I literally spent our last day on mat leave at the LC and I'll never get that time back.
Whew... I told you I had some feels...
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cnf
Ruby
Posts: 21,051 Likes: 101,654
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Post by cnf on Jul 30, 2017 5:31:38 GMT -6
I never really nursed either. I had the same issues, cnf - flat nipples and DD with a tiny mouth. I tried nipple shields and working with a LC but hated it. I managed to pump for six months until I developed a milk imbalance, so I switched to formula at that point rather than kill myself trying to fix it. I'm not even going to bother trying to nurse this time. I liked the small freedom pumping gave me (I had a huge supply so I pumped 3 or 4 times a day and was getting 60-80oz) in letting MH help with overnights, letting me go out, etc. I'm going to just go straight for pumping this time. Holy shit that's a lot of milk. If I got 6oz between both sides during a pump session I thought that was a huge amount.
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Post by misskilljoy on Jul 30, 2017 5:36:52 GMT -6
It was absurd, cnf. I would get 15-20 Oz per pumping session. I was going like six hours between sessions and sleeping overnight when it wasn't my night to get up with DD, which is the only reason I kept doing it. That's also the reason why my fat content went screwy though, because I was waiting too long, sooo I'm going to be better about it this time. Which means I expect to pump for about 3 months before I say fuck it, too much work.
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beefinch
Platinum
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Post by beefinch on Jul 30, 2017 5:37:30 GMT -6
pootsen second what you said about our FTM's to research it all. I went to multiple classes and read some books, a lot of YouTube'ing and info on the web about BFing, so I actually had pretty good knowledge for a FTM, DS was a brilliant latcher, so the fact that it failed was all down to my milk supply. Each time he would come off the boob and cry, I knew it wasn't because he had popped off, it was because I had no milk left. Deffo not stressing about it this time, I'm giving it 4 days for the milk to come in, and if it doesn't then I'm not even going to pump. Pumping literally took over my life with DS and I'm just not going to be able to manage it with a newborn and a toddler this time around
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beefinch
Platinum
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Post by beefinch on Jul 30, 2017 5:38:41 GMT -6
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bethkate
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Post by bethkate on Jul 30, 2017 6:15:21 GMT -6
It's nice to read that a few of you aren't planning to even attempt BFing this time. I feel like there's been a big culture shift back to BFing, and I feel judged every time I say I'm not even going to try. I've just seen how difficult and emotional it can be for a lot of people, and if I can take one thing off my plate during an already stressful time, I'm going to!
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cnf
Ruby
Posts: 21,051 Likes: 101,654
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Post by cnf on Jul 30, 2017 6:20:00 GMT -6
pootsen, my last nursing session with DD was her angrily screaming and me crying. I can totally empathize with your feelings. I still have a ton of feelings about my inability to breast feed. I do agree, not knowing was a big contributor. Frustrations also got the best of me and my emotions. I feel like breast feeding, similarly to having a newborn, is one of those things that you can be told about and read about all you want, but until you're in the thick of it, it's hard to comprehend.
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cnf
Ruby
Posts: 21,051 Likes: 101,654
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Post by cnf on Jul 30, 2017 6:23:30 GMT -6
It's nice to read that a few of you aren't planning to even attempt BFing this time. I feel like there's been a big culture shift back to BFing, and I feel judged every time I say I'm not even going to try. I've just seen how difficult and emotional it can be for a lot of people, and if I can take one thing off my plate during an already stressful time, I'm going to! At my last school, we had a pumping room (also used for private exams) in the nurses office, so our nurse was very into all the pumping mom's business. I only went in once a day and she scolded me about it at one point. Told me I needed the stimulation to keep my supply up and that I should take more advantage of the fact that our school is so accommodating. It felt super rude to me. I was already having supply issues, supplementing, and feeling so guilty about failing at breast feeding. Did not need the lecture.
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Post by snuff9861 on Jul 30, 2017 7:24:27 GMT -6
With DS, he had a tongue tie and PP was a shit show. We were in the hospital 6 days and had super poor breastfeeding management. On day 10 when we got his tie clipped, it was too late. I was already over it and I had been pumping and supplementing at the breast around the clock. I ended up with PP depression because I felt like such a failure. With DD, we had better management right off the bat. But yet again she was tongue tied and the ONE doctor that clips them in town was on vacation until day 9. So I limped along, the midwives figure she was getting about half of what she needed from me. I have a friend who is like misskilljoy, and was pumping 60 oz a day. She was giving us the excess so we supplemented with donor BM and formula for until about 4.5 months when her DD became a tank and was drinking 40+ oz a day. Then we went all formula. For this one, I will try again but I'm emotionally prepared for it to not work out again. I don't pump worth shit so that's not even an option.
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Post by grumpycat on Jul 30, 2017 7:29:33 GMT -6
I pumped for 5.5 months. We started supplementing with formula around 4 months because I couldn't keep up (and wasn't willing to pump at night). DS had latch issues. I did tons of research, joined breastfeeding support groups, met with lactation consultants, you name it. He was a little early and very sleepy. One of my night nurses shamed/scared the shit out of me. So I pumped starting night 2 after he was born. The hospital LCs were furious with her (the nurse told me that I was starving my baby -- which I wasn't by the way). It was enough for me to doubt that I could breastfeed succussfully and the whole time I pumped, I was miserable.
Soooo this time around, breastfeeding and if that doesn't work, formula! My suggestion for ftms is that every time that kid cries, try to feed him/her. We got caught up on the every 2 hours, which just isn't realistic for many newborns. Research and reach out for help, but don't let yourself get miserable. A healthy mom is better than an unhealthy breastfeeding mom any day.
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quinn
Amethyst
Posts: 5,064 Likes: 17,858
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Post by quinn on Jul 30, 2017 7:30:11 GMT -6
It's nice to read that a few of you aren't planning to even attempt BFing this time. I feel like there's been a big culture shift back to BFing, and I feel judged every time I say I'm not even going to try. I've just seen how difficult and emotional it can be for a lot of people, and if I can take one thing off my plate during an already stressful time, I'm going to! I hated bfing. It's just not for me. I was shamed pretty hard by a nurse after giving birth to ds3 and I got some looks from strangers when he was real little. I don't give a shit though. My sanity was intact lol. Bfing my older 2 was hell.
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Post by grumpycat on Jul 30, 2017 7:33:30 GMT -6
quinn sanity is so much more important. I didn't realize how much pumping was messing with me until I stopped and felt so much better.
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quinn
Amethyst
Posts: 5,064 Likes: 17,858
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Post by quinn on Jul 30, 2017 7:34:13 GMT -6
There is so much societal pressure put on mother's. Whether it be breastfeeding, baby wearing, what diapers you use, what/when to give solids, etc. There is absolutely NO wrong way. Do what's right for you and your child.*
*barring safety of course
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quinn
Amethyst
Posts: 5,064 Likes: 17,858
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Post by quinn on Jul 30, 2017 7:36:56 GMT -6
quinn sanity is so much more important. I didn't realize how much pumping was messing with me until I stopped and felt so much better. yes. I feel like I was able to bond immedialty with ds3 instead of spending all that time worrying about sides and ounces and if he was crying cause I wasn't satisfying his hunger. I wish I could be a bfing mom but it just isn't for me. And thats ok.
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Post by grumpycat on Jul 30, 2017 8:30:16 GMT -6
PSA jujubee diaper bags are on zulily early access on the app today!
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Post by grumpycat on Jul 30, 2017 8:38:20 GMT -6
By the way, I just wanted to say that I'm so sad that so many of us had really negative experiences breastfeeding. There's absolutely this perception that it's easy and natural. And now that societal expectations have swung to breastfeeding, there's a ton of pressure from outside sources (despite lack of support in the work place and many people being anti public feeding). My mom pressured me! And she only BF me for 12 weeks.
That being said, there are definitely some women who have really positive experiences with it, so ftms, don't be scared away from it if you want to go for it.
Also #anecdote, but my cousin had the worst time trying to breastfeed her first and switched to formula by 2 weeks. Her second kid latched like a pro and went for a year before he self-weaned. So ya never know.
PS. I have a lot of emotions about this too obviously. I was definitely borderline postpartum depression and the pumping was a massive contributing factor.
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Post by misskilljoy on Jul 30, 2017 9:03:36 GMT -6
I am at that point of packing for the cottage where everything else I need to pack really just needs to be done right before we go so I'm feeling useless and stressed. I am killing time by putting a bajillion movies on a USB drive to bring with us in case it rains.
Probably won't get to check in while away since we have no internet and Canada doesn't believe in unlimited cell data, so I will see you all on Wednesday evening or Thursday morning!
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pootsen
Sapphire
Posts: 3,889 Likes: 21,939
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Post by pootsen on Jul 30, 2017 9:08:14 GMT -6
I agree with everything grumpycat just said. I really regret pushing myself/DS into nursing from the breast, but once I started (basically) EPing, things went much more smoothly. Pumping wasn't a huge deal, but only because I had a good supply and my workplace was really supportive of frequent breaks to pump. But once he stopped nursing all together, I was just kind of over it. Plus that's when he started at daycare and they supplied formula/I didn't feel like messing with transporting BM. You just have to find what works best for you. No matter what- BF, FF, EP, combination feeding- there will be some bumps in the road but there is plenty of support out there (and here!) to help you along your way.
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Post by grumpycat on Jul 30, 2017 9:10:30 GMT -6
misskilljoy have a wonderful time! It's nice to get away and be unavailable via phone/Internet!
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Post by misskilljoy on Jul 30, 2017 9:13:32 GMT -6
Before I go, let me just AW the magical place my parents live. They're on 50 acres of protected marsh and they get so many incredible experiences with wildlife. They went out to have coffee on the porch this morning and found this:
*poof*
It's a great blue heron. Sleeping. On their porch.
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Post by AnnPerkins on Jul 30, 2017 9:17:19 GMT -6
There is so much societal pressure put on mother's. Whether it be breastfeeding, baby wearing, what diapers you use, what/when to give solids, etc. There is absolutely NO wrong way. Do what's right for you and your child.* *barring safety of course My newborn motto is, "Put your oxygen mask on first." Shower, eat, ignore the laundry. Do what you need to do to be your best in the situation at hand. The people and babies around you will be so much better for it.
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Post by blabbermouth on Jul 30, 2017 9:43:09 GMT -6
Thanks everyone for your bf stories! I feel like my parenting motto is "I'll try things, but I won't persist". Haha, lazy mom alert.
I definitely intend to bf, but I'd prefer to not spend all day bfing and pumping, although I'd like to pump some, so we'll see!
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