I think its Thursday

[chrisy01]

Hi! I’m just doing homework. Trying to get ahead so I’m not so stressed about it.

[kim22]

nam2013 my rehearsal dinner was a bad idea because my groomsmen were all from out of town and staying at a hotel that night. They went out drinking all night after and 2 of them were throwing up in the church bathroom before our ceremony the next day.

[chrisy01]

[mention]nam2013 [/mention] I love hearing about the differences between here and there.

Our rehearsal got cancelled because the wedding that happened the day of our rehearsal got delayed. So we just had the rehearsal dinner.

[wineallthetime]

Feb 18, 2021 19:15:04 GMT -6 kim22 said:

nam2013 my rehearsal dinner was a bad idea because my groomsmen were all from out of town and staying at a hotel that night. They went out drinking all night after and 2 of them were throwing up in the church bathroom before our ceremony the next day.

Oh boy!!! I've heard of people doing the bachelor/bachelorette party the night before the wedding and I always think about what an awful idea that is!

[lfig]

Feb 18, 2021 19:15:04 GMT -6 kim22 said:

nam2013 my rehearsal dinner was a bad idea because my groomsmen were all from out of town and staying at a hotel that night. They went out drinking all night after and 2 of them were throwing up in the church bathroom before our ceremony the next day.

Oh, this sounds quite similar to ours...after rehearsal dinner I went to my parents house. I wanted to get a good nights sleep. MH, the groomsmen, and bridesmaids (including my sister) went out drinking. The groomsmen all stayed the night at MH’s (and mine) house. One of them puked on our couch in his sleep. He woke up saying he’d dreamed he threw up. MH informed him it wasn’t a dream, about the time he realized he slept in it. Their solution...put the couch outside (we lived on a farm, not in a neighborhood). We got married on Saturday, stayed that night at a hotel, Sunday was opening gifts and lunch with families, then we crashed from exhaustion. Left bright and early Monday for honeymoon. So the vomit covered couch sat outside till we got back from the honeymoon and could deal with it.

[trtlcrzy]

nam2013 I know you like things like this so I thought I’d share. Here the norm is to use all the bows/ribbons from your bridal shower gifts as a “bouquet” during the rehearsal. Like this (not my pic)


We do a gift opening the morning after the wedding. For us it was the wedding party, immediate family and out of town guests. We all get together, eat breakfast, and then they watch you open gifts. Was not my favorite thing, I much rather would have opened them in private.

The bridesmaids and groomsmen went out after our reception too. One of my bridesmaids (my cousin who was married at the time) slept with one of the groomsmen on the best man’s couch and the fell asleep butt naked. The next morning BM’s girlfriend got up and was pissed.

[kim22]

trtlcrzy we didn’t get a single gift that wasn’t cash or a check so a gift opening would have been weird. I love hearing about everyone else’s traditions. When my older sister got married, I somehow ended up picking up my younger sister’s boyfriend who I had never met at the airport. He was talking about how he once went to a wedding with a keg and would there be a keg. He was so excited to learn it was full open bar. He was from the Midwest and said that was not a thing where he was from. I also have no idea how my sister had a boyfriend from the Midwest.

[trtlcrzy]

Feb 18, 2021 20:21:25 GMT -6 kim22 said:

trtlcrzy we didn’t get a single gift that wasn’t cash or a check so a gift opening would have been weird. I love hearing about everyone else’s traditions. When my older sister got married, I somehow ended up picking up my younger sister’s boyfriend who I had never met at the airport. He was talking about how he once went to a wedding with a keg and would there be a keg. He was so excited to learn it was full open bar. He was from the Midwest and said that was not a thing where he was from. I also have no idea how my sister had a boyfriend from the Midwest.

The only cringy gift we opened was from 2 of DH’s best friends (joint gift) that was full of sex toy/candy bra type things. I opened the box and closed it immediately so no one else could see in.

Open bars are pretty bougie for here. A lot of times there will be weddings with a free keg (or 2) but everything else is cash. When I was a kid it was much more common for the wedding food to be made by family members, potluck style. But now it’s all catered.

[guster]

We got only ONE physical gift— everything else was a check or cash.
MH is from the south and had no idea this was typical in NY. He was shocked as we opened the envelopes the next morning.
Our wedding was also a three day affair— rehearsal dinner for family and friends on Friday night and the wedding on Saturday night. We hosted both of these bc no
parents to pay.
The next time day my cousin held a bbq at her house so everyone could relax (it had the same group of people from the rehearsal dinner) .
One of the best things we did was wait to leave for our honeymoon that following Wednesday.

[tallb]

Feb 18, 2021 19:15:04 GMT -6 kim22 said:

nam2013 my rehearsal dinner was a bad idea because my groomsmen were all from out of town and staying at a hotel that night. They went out drinking all night after and 2 of them were throwing up in the church bathroom before our ceremony the next day.

Yes these are slippery slopes. When my best friend from college got married, we let another bridesmaid make sure she got to bed on time. She was barely functional during hair and makeup...I was so mad at myself for letting her be so hungover.

My and I had a decent sized dinner for extended family and bridal parties at the restaurant we met at, which was meaningful to us. We got in a silent fight about where we were seated at the table though and I was still grouchy with him most of the next day 🙄.

[lahdeedah]

Feb 18, 2021 20:29:03 GMT -6 guster said:

We got only ONE physical gift— everything else was a check or cash.
MH is from the south and had no idea this was typical in NY. He was shocked as we opened the envelopes the next morning.
Our wedding was also a three day affair— rehearsal dinner for family and friends on Friday night and the wedding on Saturday night. We hosted both of these bc no
parents to pay.
The next time day my cousin held a bbq at her house so everyone could relax (it had the same group of people from the rehearsal dinner) .
One of the best things we did was wait to leave for our honeymoon that following Wednesday.

I LOVE the cash gift thing. Makes it so much easier than trying to shop on a registry. It’s a little easier now with online, but still having to pick something. Just doing the registry itself is a PITA. Down south it’s definitely more physical gifts. The norm everywhere needs to be cash.

[nam2013]

trtlcrzy I do love things like that! Thank you for sharing.

I love all these stories! Plus one for not getting the getting drunk the night before the wedding... our bachelor/bachelorette parties were 2.5 weeks before the wedding. Perfect!

[nam2013]

We still have diner at our venue every year. I love it. It is a teaching restaurant, a team of amazing people guide young people who fall through the cracks of mainstream education, have been in and out of the child protective services, towards a diploma. Most of those kids haven’t had the easiest road in life and the look of pride and joy that we trusted them to cater our special day made it all the more special.

[nam2013]

We had an open bar and ran out of prosecco and beer 😂😂😂. It was an unexpectedly hot day and people were thirsty!!! My granddad bragged he had 14 beers (he didn’t, but I liked that he had so much fun!).

Also our ride home didn’t show up, so in a spur of the moment decision, we walked (around the blok) to get a cab. People looks to see a bridal couple in full gear around midnight at a trainstation was priceless.

[peachsmama]

Feb 18, 2021 19:58:45 GMT -6 trtlcrzy said:

nam2013 I know you like things like this so I thought I’d share. Here the norm is to use all the bows/ribbons from your bridal shower gifts as a “bouquet” during the rehearsal. Like this (not my pic)


We do a gift opening the morning after the wedding. For us it was the wedding party, immediate family and out of town guests. We all get together, eat breakfast, and then they watch you open gifts. Was not my favorite thing, I much rather would have opened them in private.

The bridesmaids and groomsmen went out after our reception too. One of my bridesmaids (my cousin who was married at the time) slept with one of the groomsmen on the best man’s couch and the fell asleep butt naked. The next morning BM’s girlfriend got up and was pissed.

Do you count the ribbons broken? Around here, if you break the ribbons getting it off, that's a kid. Count the broken ribbons at the end and that's how many kids you'll have.

[guster]

Feb 19, 2021 6:57:29 GMT -6 peachsmama said:

Feb 18, 2021 19:58:45 GMT -6 trtlcrzy said:

nam2013 I know you like things like this so I thought I’d share. Here the norm is to use all the bows/ribbons from your bridal shower gifts as a “bouquet” during the rehearsal. Like this (not my pic)


We do a gift opening the morning after the wedding. For us it was the wedding party, immediate family and out of town guests. We all get together, eat breakfast, and then they watch you open gifts. Was not my favorite thing, I much rather would have opened them in private.

The bridesmaids and groomsmen went out after our reception too. One of my bridesmaids (my cousin who was married at the time) slept with one of the groomsmen on the best man’s couch and the fell asleep butt naked. The next morning BM’s girlfriend got up and was pissed.

Do you count the ribbons broken? Around here, if you break the ribbons getting it off, that's a kid. Count the broken ribbons at the end and that's how many kids you'll have.

That’s fun!

[nam2013]

peachsmama how many of your ribbons were broken 😉?

[mwhip]

We do the number of broken ribbons = numbers of kids you will have also. I made sure not to break any ribbons during my wedding showers.

[jewels]

Feb 18, 2021 20:21:25 GMT -6 kim22 said:

trtlcrzy we didn’t get a single gift that wasn’t cash or a check so a gift opening would have been weird. I love hearing about everyone else’s traditions. When my older sister got married, I somehow ended up picking up my younger sister’s boyfriend who I had never met at the airport. He was talking about how he once went to a wedding with a keg and would there be a keg. He was so excited to learn it was full open bar. He was from the Midwest and said that was not a thing where he was from. I also have no idea how my sister had a boyfriend from the Midwest.

It's funny b/c we got about 90% money but most of MH family/friends from out of town got us gifts.  It's interesting how different those customs are.  I don't think I've ever given anything but money.  We get all the gifts for the shower.  

[jewels]

Feb 18, 2021 20:25:08 GMT -6 trtlcrzy said:

Feb 18, 2021 20:21:25 GMT -6 kim22 said:

trtlcrzy we didn’t get a single gift that wasn’t cash or a check so a gift opening would have been weird. I love hearing about everyone else’s traditions. When my older sister got married, I somehow ended up picking up my younger sister’s boyfriend who I had never met at the airport. He was talking about how he once went to a wedding with a keg and would there be a keg. He was so excited to learn it was full open bar. He was from the Midwest and said that was not a thing where he was from. I also have no idea how my sister had a boyfriend from the Midwest.

The only cringy gift we opened was from 2 of DH’s best friends (joint gift) that was full of sex toy/candy bra type things. I opened the box and closed it immediately so no one else could see in.

Open bars are pretty bougie for here. A lot of times there will be weddings with a free keg (or 2) but everything else is cash. When I was a kid it was much more common for the wedding food to be made by family members, potluck style. But now it’s all catered.

That's the other thing that's different here - all weddings are open bar.  I don't think I've ever been to a local wedding that's not.  and the amount of food is usually ridiculous.  I remember at our wedding after the cocktail hour my inlaws were confused that there was a full dinner.  They were like... but we just had all this food!!! 

We definitely do it big here.  

[jewels]

guster, ours was 3 days too. Rehearsal dinner (we had no actual rehearsal), wedding, then brunch at the hotel the next morning for everyone who stayed over (we had a lot of out of towners and heavy drinkers so about 2/3 of the wedding stay over lol)

[tgrimes]

We left for our honeymoon at 4am Sunday morning. It was not delightful. I was so sick and hadn't slept in 2 days. After the reception I went up to the room to sleep while MH partied. Then he brought people up to our room...on our wedding night...and were loud AF. Lol.

[mwhip]

Feb 19, 2021 8:58:54 GMT -6 jewels said:

Feb 18, 2021 20:25:08 GMT -6 trtlcrzy said:

The only cringy gift we opened was from 2 of DH’s best friends (joint gift) that was full of sex toy/candy bra type things. I opened the box and closed it immediately so no one else could see in.

Open bars are pretty bougie for here. A lot of times there will be weddings with a free keg (or 2) but everything else is cash. When I was a kid it was much more common for the wedding food to be made by family members, potluck style. But now it’s all catered.

That's the other thing that's different here - all weddings are open bar.  I don't think I've ever been to a local wedding that's not.  and the amount of food is usually ridiculous.  I remember at our wedding after the cocktail hour my inlaws were confused that there was a full dinner.  They were like... but we just had all this food!!! 

We definitely do it big here.  

So this is going to sound shitty, but if you don't have an open bar at your wedding reception, we don't stay.  Dry wedding receptions and cash bars are not common, but I feel like when people have those, they don't want people to stick around.  Obviously people have reasons for them and I completely understand it.  

[mwhip]

Feb 19, 2021 9:07:03 GMT -6 tgrimes said:

We left for our honeymoon at 4am Sunday morning. It was not delightful. I was so sick and hadn't slept in 2 days. After the reception I went up to the room to sleep while MH partied. Then he brought people up to our room...on our wedding night...and were loud AF. Lol.

I'm laughing that you H brought people to your room to continue the party on your wedding night, even if you weren't sick.  Like, that's usually the time a couple spends alone!

My first wedding reception, my exH had booked a hotel close to where our reception was.  I didn't realize during the reception, he gave some of his friends the key to the room so they could go decorate.  I was busy talking to people and enjoying the time until my parents got into a fight over who was going to pay the balance due on the hall and ended up leaving it crying.  We get to the hotel, which we had invited my brother and SIL to come have drinks at the hotel bar, and my exH opened the door to the room, turned around, gave my SIL some money, and told her to take me to the bar.  His friends had TRASHED our room.  Like saran wrap with chocolate syrup over the toilet, papers strung across the entire room, like it was just a goddamn mess.  Her and I went and had drinks while exH and my brother cleaned the mess up, then joined us.  I was so tired and it took forever to get all the bobby pins out of my hair, there was nothing exciting happening in that room.

I gave him shit our entire marriage about giving Corey and Hugo the key to our room.  Thinking about it now, still annoys the shit out of me.

[tgrimes]

Feb 19, 2021 9:13:27 GMT -6 mwhip said:

Feb 19, 2021 9:07:03 GMT -6 tgrimes said:

We left for our honeymoon at 4am Sunday morning. It was not delightful. I was so sick and hadn't slept in 2 days. After the reception I went up to the room to sleep while MH partied. Then he brought people up to our room...on our wedding night...and were loud AF. Lol.

I'm laughing that you H brought people to your room to continue the party on your wedding night, even if you weren't sick.  Like, that's usually the time a couple spends alone!

My first wedding reception, my exH had booked a hotel close to where our reception was.  I didn't realize during the reception, he gave some of his friends the key to the room so they could go decorate.  I was busy talking to people and enjoying the time until my parents got into a fight over who was going to pay the balance due on the hall and ended up leaving it crying.  We get to the hotel, which we had invited my brother and SIL to come have drinks at the hotel bar, and my exH opened the door to the room, turned around, gave my SIL some money, and told her to take me to the bar.  His friends had TRASHED our room.  Like saran wrap with chocolate syrup over the toilet, papers strung across the entire room, like it was just a goddamn mess.  Her and I went and had drinks while exH and my brother cleaned the mess up, then joined us.  I was so tired and it took forever to get all the bobby pins out of my hair, there was nothing exciting happening in that room.

I gave him shit our entire marriage about giving Corey and Hugo the key to our room.  Thinking about it now, still annoys the shit out of me.

OMG I'd be pissed!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[trtlcrzy]

Feb 19, 2021 6:57:29 GMT -6 peachsmama said:

Feb 18, 2021 19:58:45 GMT -6 trtlcrzy said:

nam2013 I know you like things like this so I thought I’d share. Here the norm is to use all the bows/ribbons from your bridal shower gifts as a “bouquet” during the rehearsal. Like this (not my pic)


We do a gift opening the morning after the wedding. For us it was the wedding party, immediate family and out of town guests. We all get together, eat breakfast, and then they watch you open gifts. Was not my favorite thing, I much rather would have opened them in private.

The bridesmaids and groomsmen went out after our reception too. One of my bridesmaids (my cousin who was married at the time) slept with one of the groomsmen on the best man’s couch and the fell asleep butt naked. The next morning BM’s girlfriend got up and was pissed.

Do you count the ribbons broken? Around here, if you break the ribbons getting it off, that's a kid. Count the broken ribbons at the end and that's how many kids you'll have.

I don’t think that’s a thing here, at least I haven’t heard of it.

[nam2013]

Feb 19, 2021 9:26:11 GMT -6 tgrimes said:

Feb 19, 2021 9:13:27 GMT -6 mwhip said:

I'm laughing that you H brought people to your room to continue the party on your wedding night, even if you weren't sick.  Like, that's usually the time a couple spends alone!

My first wedding reception, my exH had booked a hotel close to where our reception was.  I didn't realize during the reception, he gave some of his friends the key to the room so they could go decorate.  I was busy talking to people and enjoying the time until my parents got into a fight over who was going to pay the balance due on the hall and ended up leaving it crying.  We get to the hotel, which we had invited my brother and SIL to come have drinks at the hotel bar, and my exH opened the door to the room, turned around, gave my SIL some money, and told her to take me to the bar.  His friends had TRASHED our room.  Like saran wrap with chocolate syrup over the toilet, papers strung across the entire room, like it was just a goddamn mess.  Her and I went and had drinks while exH and my brother cleaned the mess up, then joined us.  I was so tired and it took forever to get all the bobby pins out of my hair, there was nothing exciting happening in that room.

I gave him shit our entire marriage about giving Corey and Hugo the key to our room.  Thinking about it now, still annoys the shit out of me.

OMG I'd be pissed!!!!!!!!!!!!!

+1 I made my mom promise not to do anything to our house 😂.

[trtlcrzy]

Feb 19, 2021 9:08:37 GMT -6 mwhip said:

Feb 19, 2021 8:58:54 GMT -6 jewels said:

That's the other thing that's different here - all weddings are open bar.  I don't think I've ever been to a local wedding that's not.  and the amount of food is usually ridiculous.  I remember at our wedding after the cocktail hour my inlaws were confused that there was a full dinner.  They were like... but we just had all this food!!! 

We definitely do it big here.  

So this is going to sound shitty, but if you don't have an open bar at your wedding reception, we don't stay.  Dry wedding receptions and cash bars are not common, but I feel like when people have those, they don't want people to stick around.  Obviously people have reasons for them and I completely understand it.  

Technically we had a dry wedding. The reception was at the hall in a church so obviously no alcohol allowed. Then everyone who wanted to went downtown to a bar with a dj and dance floor. Most people ate and then left right away. We were broke and couldn’t have paid for an open bar if we wanted to. My parents didn’t help pay for anything and my ILs gave us 5k. It was very low budget.

[nam2013]

I finished my masters two months before our wedding, we wanted to honeymoon on the west coast of the us and spend more on that then on the wedding. Also alcohol prices are a lot (and I mean a lot!) cheaper over here. Also a lot of diy, favours and friends helped out . You guys do not want to find out what we paid for our wedding 😂.

[trtlcrzy]

Feb 19, 2021 9:37:53 GMT -6 nam2013 said:

I finished my masters two months before our wedding, we wanted to honeymoon on the west coast of the us and spend more on that then on the wedding. Also alcohol prices are a lot (and I mean a lot!) cheaper over here. Also a lot of diy, favours and friends helped out . You guys do not want to find out what we paid for our wedding 😂.

I’m sure it was really reasonable. You said you had like 40 guests? We had ~200. We did a lot of DIY things and didn’t really take a honeymoon. We drove up to Minneapolis for a few days. Stayed in a hotel (that DH booked, and didn’t have a hot tub) and shopped at mall of America. Very unromantic.