Winning Wednesday

[inthekitty]

Sorry it's been rough vino. I hope you can B can figure out what's going on so he can move past it.

[jewels]

Ugh vino, S does this sometimes too. Like he will start freaking out b/c he can't decide which book he wants to read at bed time. Or if he wants to color or play legos. It's infuriating to me, but I have to always remind myself that these are big decisions for a little guy.

[inthekitty]

Madison asked me yesterday if when she's older if I'll buy her the "kind of tops that go to here" (motioning to mid-torso) and "tube tops." I don't even know where she came up with that but I let her know that's a firm no. She reminded me I said she can shave half of her head when she gets to high school. That girl is going to be the death of me when she becomes of teen.

[nam2013]

vino I’m so sorry. Any chance something fun might break the cycle? Like coffee at a coffee house, a walk in the forest, a difficult puzzle together? Just something big boy special, during which of course there’s lots of room for positive re-enforcement and time to just chat about what’s on his mind. For me this, not in the last place, helps me to get out of the negative circle. Hugs, you’re doing an amazing job.

Eta also you could tell him it is difficult sometimes to make a decision, even for mommy, and if he wants you to help him make one. That way he can see, this is normal .

[cagoldi]

Sorry B has been having a hard time lately, vino. Being such a sensitive soul is really a blessing and a curse. Poor guy.

[vino]

Those are good ideas nam2013, I *think* it's this reading program for school, he is doing amazing and it's keeping track with a points system. He has found a way to look at his classmates scores and this one girl is ahead of him and it's causing all sorts of anxiety. I might lay off the program for a couple days and ban him from looking at others scores. Tonight I can regroup with a different activity in the evening that we can do together and a puzzle is a good idea, we can do it together but there is an 'end' which he needs for his little world.

[vino]

Feb 5, 2020 10:56:41 GMT -6 cagoldi said:

Sorry B has been having a hard time lately, vino . Being such a sensitive soul is really a blessing and a curse. Poor guy.

It really is and times like this make me more aware than ever. 

There was a fire alarm at daycare yesterday, everything is fine it was just a faulty fuse, but he said he had to get his jacket so he could keep him and Julia warm then immediately went to be with her.  Amazing for sure, but that's all he thought of and his mental health takes a little hit with being so hyper focused.

[vino]

Feb 5, 2020 10:50:17 GMT -6 jewels said:

Ugh vino , S does this sometimes too. Like he will start freaking out b/c he can't decide which book he wants to read at bed time. Or if he wants to color or play legos. It's infuriating to me, but I have to always remind myself that these are big decisions for a little guy.

Yes! and when i say 'I don't care which one you pick' when he looks to me for guidance all he hears is 'I dont care'......then begins another spiral.  

Many deep breaths are practiced by me, many, many.

[nam2013]

vino aw poor guy, I’m sorry about the competitiveness at this young age. That is so difficult 😕.

[tgrimes]

Feb 5, 2020 11:06:51 GMT -6 vino said:

Feb 5, 2020 10:56:41 GMT -6 cagoldi said:

Sorry B has been having a hard time lately, vino . Being such a sensitive soul is really a blessing and a curse. Poor guy.

It really is and times like this make me more aware than ever. 

There was a fire alarm at daycare yesterday, everything is fine it was just a faulty fuse, but he said he had to get his jacket so he could keep him and Julia warm then immediately went to be with her.  Amazing for sure, but that's all he thought of and his mental health takes a little hit with being so hyper focused.

OMG what a freakin sweetheart he is.  He always puts everyone else first, especially J.

[klong11]

Feb 5, 2020 11:09:45 GMT -6 vino said:

Feb 5, 2020 10:50:17 GMT -6 jewels said:

Ugh vino , S does this sometimes too. Like he will start freaking out b/c he can't decide which book he wants to read at bed time. Or if he wants to color or play legos. It's infuriating to me, but I have to always remind myself that these are big decisions for a little guy.

Yes! and when i say 'I don't care which one you pick' when he looks to me for guidance all he hears is 'I dont care'......then begins another spiral.  

Many deep breaths are practiced by me, many, many.

Perhaps take the decision away, so he doesn't have the pressure.

Book 1 on space and book 2 on jungles (or whatever)

"I'll be an astronaut, you be a lion. Whoever wins rock paper scissors is the book we'll read."

He no longer has to decide, it's all luck of the draw.

Or if you want him to keep the decision power, then just do a quick, "well, let's see. Book 1 is about an astronaut going to the moon and Book 2 is about a lion making friends. Should we go to space or to the jungle?" Maybe quick descriptions will help him able to make a decision easier.

[joelies]

Aww B is just so sweet vino. I get that it's frustrating at times. Also re: not being the best, I've noticed Colin chill out on that over time. Last year he was convinced he was "bad at math" - he's actually excellent at math, there was just 1 other kid in his class who was also excellent. This year with reading, there are a couple kids in a higher level than him, and he takes it in stride. Hopefully in time, B will relax a bit.

[jewels]

Feb 5, 2020 11:04:00 GMT -6 vino said:

Those are good ideas nam2013 , I *think* it's this reading program for school, he is doing amazing and it's keeping track with a points system. He has found a way to look at his classmates scores and this one girl is ahead of him and it's causing all sorts of anxiety. I might lay off the program for a couple days and ban him from looking at others scores. Tonight I can regroup with a different activity in the evening that we can do together and a puzzle is a good idea, we can do it together but there is an 'end' which he needs for his little world.

This is something I have to discuss with S often.  that he's only responsible for himself and everyone does things at their own speed.  He's obsessed with what reading level his friends are on and I keep reminding him it doesn't mean anything and everyone is learning at the right pace for themselves.  

Thankfully it's not a competition for any sort of reward because I could see him going crazy trying to be the best.  

[jewels]

Feb 5, 2020 11:09:45 GMT -6 vino said:

Feb 5, 2020 10:50:17 GMT -6 jewels said:

Ugh vino , S does this sometimes too. Like he will start freaking out b/c he can't decide which book he wants to read at bed time. Or if he wants to color or play legos. It's infuriating to me, but I have to always remind myself that these are big decisions for a little guy.

Yes! and when i say 'I don't care which one you pick' when he looks to me for guidance all he hears is 'I dont care'......then begins another spiral.  

Many deep breaths are practiced by me, many, many.

S was flipping out yesterday and it came from no where and completely surprised me.  I got angry and tried to walk away and he kept following me.  Finally he just said, in the tiniest voice I've ever heard from him "Can you help me to calm down, I don't know how".  It just broke my heart.  It helped remind me that even the horrible behavior is just them needing something.

[tgrimes]

Feb 5, 2020 13:16:23 GMT -6 jewels said:

Feb 5, 2020 11:09:45 GMT -6 vino said:

Yes! and when i say 'I don't care which one you pick' when he looks to me for guidance all he hears is 'I dont care'......then begins another spiral.  

Many deep breaths are practiced by me, many, many.

S was flipping out yesterday and it came from no where and completely surprised me.  I got angry and tried to walk away and he kept following me.  Finally he just said, in the tiniest voice I've ever heard from him "Can you help me to calm down, I don't know how".  It just broke my heart.  It helped remind me that even the horrible behavior is just them needing something.

Bless his heart.  That is a great reminder for all of us.  

[nam2013]

jewels poor boy, but that is amazing, him asking for your help.

[vino]

Too cute jewels, what a sweetie

[joelies]

Also hiiiii.

Nothing really new here, just busy with work and trying to keep in daily contact with my parents. My Dad finished up round 2 of chemo today. He lost a tooth last night - which I guess is on par with losing his hair - which means a trip to the dentist, who he may be more afraid of than a doctor. Poor guy. The kids both had a bit of a bug last week. Just low-grade fevers and major congestion, that honestly still hasn't let up. But despite lingering coughs at night, they seem to be back to their usual selves. Hopefuly it sticks because Chase really wants to get it on skiing this weekend, he was peeved about being left behind last weekend. We're off to VT the following weekend for 3 dayas of skiing, so I'd love to get a bit more time on skis beforehand as well, given that my only post-kid skiing was our half-day a couple weekends ago.

Other than that, DH and I need to nail down our plans for FL in April, a long weekend in Toronto for our anniversary, and then an Ocean City Beach with the kids in August. We have a couple weekends in VT planned and then a wedding in DC in September, so we're skipping a birthday-related trip. Honestly between our trips and my work travel, I have no desire to spend anymore time away from home!!

[jewels]

joelies, Ocean City NJ or Ocean City MD?

[joelies]

MD. He was originally thinking of splitting the week between MD and DE, but it turns out his best friend (who lives in Pittsburgh) will be heading to Ocean City Beach this summer, too. We decided to go at the same time and stay close, though we'll figure out how much time we really spend together as it gets closer.

[jewels]

gotchya - we decided to do a condo near Ocean Beach NJ for our vacation

[flamingo]

Survived the eye appt. The path-lab results were inconclusive for reasons (sigh). Ophthalmologist is pretty confident it is BSC based on appearance but obviously no way of knowing for sure without surgery. So I'm left with options...monitor, or surgery to make sure margins are out. If we do it at the hospital the pathologist can look at a sample immediately and we'll know whether it was BSC and make sure we got it all.

So I'm kind of leaning in that direction, maybe for April-ish. Obviously I don't relish the idea of eyelid surgery but there is part of me that would rather just have it all out, and get it done before we move. Ugh.

[tallb]

joelies fun about OCMD! And that wedding in September...maybe we can meet up!

flamingo I'm sorry the results were inconclusive, I'd prob err on the side of caution too.

[tallb]

Shaved a few minutes off the commute this morning, but pretty sure we just have to be out the door earlier since there is only so much speeding up of N having to take her shoes off and washing her hands to help me take K into her room and her dropoff routine. k was smiley at dropoff and then N cried when we had to leave her there💔.

N also figured out she can get out of her bed at bedtime..so it begins..

[flamingo]

Feb 5, 2020 15:11:38 GMT -6 tallb said:

joelies fun about OCMD! And that wedding in September...maybe we can meet up!

flamingo I'm sorry the results were inconclusive, I'd prob err on the side of caution too.

Yeah...and the dr. suggested perhaps b/c I'm on a biologic drug for my psoriasis, there may be some kind of correlation. So I just looked up the drug info and sure enough, it "can increase your risk for basal cell and squamous cell carcinoma". Awesome. So I think with that info, I will definitely be proceeding. 

[kim22]

jewels are you going to Ocean City or Ocean Beach? One of them puts you by me.

[wedding]

flamingo,I'm sorry it wasn't better news. I would likely err on the side of caution as well.

[wedding]

vino, aww poor B! I hope you get to the bottom of it.

[tgrimes]

Feb 5, 2020 15:23:20 GMT -6 flamingo said:

Feb 5, 2020 15:11:38 GMT -6 tallb said:

joelies fun about OCMD! And that wedding in September...maybe we can meet up!

flamingo I'm sorry the results were inconclusive, I'd prob err on the side of caution too.

Yeah...and the dr. suggested perhaps b/c I'm on a biologic drug for my psoriasis, there may be some kind of correlation. So I just looked up the drug info and sure enough, it "can increase your risk for basal cell and squamous cell carcinoma". Awesome. So I think with that info, I will definitely be proceeding. 

I'd go this route, too.  Sorry it wasn't better news.

[vino]

Sorry it wasnt better news flamingo, I'd proceed as well. Thinking of you.