|
|
Post by lahdeedah on Jan 14, 2020 14:27:30 GMT -6
lahdeedah So it's a completely different company than yours, and they want to offer you full time but you want 4 days a week? What are the other benefits of the offer place? flexible work hours? Company culture? do you know anyone that works there that you could chat with? Also, I know that you are going to call this guy and chat but I would suggest an email follow up, so that whatever he says on the phone call would be in writing as well. So itās just another as needed position at a different hospital. At my current job, I only have my guaranteed Friday and I help out when they need if someone is off. I would like at least 1-2 more guaranteed days a week. PDQ just in case. This new opportunity I thought it would be just that, but itās kinda not. Basically they have a tech that works 7 on 7 off. He is going back to school and canāt work week days, but still wants to work his weekends. The way he explained it was even though they need a FT tech, he didnāt want to make it FT because the guy still works weekends. I donāt have his email. He texted me about the application and called for the interview. Maybe I could call HR back and ask them for it? Should I text him? |
|
mwhip
Opal
Posts: 9,174 Likes: 56,609 
|
Post by mwhip on Jan 14, 2020 14:29:05 GMT -6
lahdeedah So it's a completely different company than yours, and they want to offer you full time but you want 4 days a week? What are the other benefits of the offer place? flexible work hours? Company culture? do you know anyone that works there that you could chat with? Also, I know that you are going to call this guy and chat but I would suggest an email follow up, so that whatever he says on the phone call would be in writing as well. So itās just another as needed position at a different hospital. At my current job, I only have my guaranteed Friday and I help out when they need if someone is off. I would like at least 1-2 more guaranteed days a week. PDQ just in case. This new opportunity I thought it would be just that, but itās kinda not. Basically they have a tech that works 7 on 7 off. He is going back to school and canāt work week days, but still wants to work his weekends. The way he explained it was even though they need a FT tech, he didnāt want to make it FT because the guy still works weekends. I donāt have his email. He texted me about the application and called for the interview. Maybe I could call HR back and ask them for it? Should I text him? I would send him a text telling you'd like to schedule time to discuss the position in a little more detail to help you make an informed decision. Ask if he prefers email or phone call. It sounds like it could be a good opportunity, if everyone is on the same page. |
|
trtlcrzy
Moderator 
Posts: 10,085 Likes: 58,458
|
Post by trtlcrzy on Jan 14, 2020 14:34:51 GMT -6
Poor kitty klong11. I hope heās feeling better quickly inthekitty it sounds like your mom probably told your brother when you were planning to go but then when the dates changed he couldnāt get they to work. So instead of going with you, who asked originally, she decides to go with him because it was kind of her fault. Family drama is the worst. |
|
vino
Opal
Posts: 9,054 Likes: 56,450
|
Post by vino on Jan 14, 2020 14:34:57 GMT -6
lahdeedah just looking at the schedule part of it it'd be hard for you to run between the two jobs for sure. I'd ask how far in advance you'd get your schedule, but that may mean that you're turning down work at your current place. Ugh, this is tough. Also, does school end for this person in May/June? If so, what happens after that?
|
|
inthekitty
Emerald
My eyes are up here.
Posts: 10,679 Likes: 69,742
|
Post by inthekitty on Jan 14, 2020 14:43:02 GMT -6
Yes. It's exactly this. One of my girlfriends has a similar dynamic with her mom and her little sister. It's very frustrating and it really hurt my feelings when my brother was such a dick to me on the last trip and no one called him out on it and defended me and it's bringing up those feelings again. Iām sorry. This can be so hard to deal with. Does she always try to include him if she vacations with you? Not always. Mostly my mom and I do Disneyland together. He went with us when he was 19 and she made it her mission to find plenty of chocolate milk in the park to take back to the room because Baby Brother (BB) needs his chocolate milk before bedtime (not even joking or exaggerating...it was...something). We had a couple of trips without him. I went to DL 2 years ago and BB went at the same time with his boyfriend but got his own hotel and met up with us off and on. That worked great. I did him a solid and bought park tickets for him and his partner because I could get them discounted. I assumed he paid for his room and flight, but looking back I bet my mom did. When I planned the trip to WDW last year he wanted to go too so I got an amazing time share where he could join us. My mom and I have been talking about this trip for months and about a week ago she mentioned for the first time BB was thinking of going too. But this might be it for me with vacations with my mom. She kept expressing concern over the length of time I was going to book for the trip, but now she's going to be gone that long with my brother and it's okay? She has a lot of anxiety about travel and going places so DL is one of those safe places for her to go. I love DL, but I'm not willing to always accommodate to have my brother there so in future I think I'll just say "I'm going on these dates if you want to meet up" and leave it up to her to make her own accommodations. I was doing my best to make it affordable for her because she didn't have to get separate lodging for herself and stayed with us in the past. |
|
inthekitty
Emerald
My eyes are up here.
Posts: 10,679 Likes: 69,742
|
Post by inthekitty on Jan 14, 2020 14:46:58 GMT -6
lahdeedah, I'd be hesitate about the new job when it isn't what you're looking for, but like mwhip suggested ask to discuss it more with them to see about possibilities of more consistent hours.
|
|
|
|
Post by lahdeedah on Jan 14, 2020 14:52:31 GMT -6
lahdeedah just looking at the schedule part of it it'd be hard for you to run between the two jobs for sure. I'd ask how far in advance you'd get your schedule, but that may mean that you're turning down work at your current place. Ugh, this is tough. Also, does school end for this person in May/June? If so, what happens after that? This is a big part of why Iām in conflict. I would have to turn down work at my current place and I really donāt want to. I like it here and want to be available for them. Should I wait it out here, or take the extra shifts now until the part time position comes available? If I commit, I will at least try to give them this whole year. I would hate to do it, then peace out a few months in. I never go in to a work situation half ass, but I donāt know if I want to be ALL IN either. mwhip Thanks for that advice! ETA: I think the school thing is a year or two. |
|
nam2013
Emerald
Posts: 13,873 Likes: 69,348
|
Post by nam2013 on Jan 14, 2020 15:00:46 GMT -6
Iāve been running on empty all day. I feel like i havenāt been able to utter a complete sentence at work today, before the phone rang or a coworker barged into my office.
Ohhh and the surgeon removed dhās fingernail this morning. I have to change the dressings tomorrow morning. Send help.
ETA barged not bathed...
|
|
nam2013
Emerald
Posts: 13,873 Likes: 69,348
|
Post by nam2013 on Jan 14, 2020 15:13:56 GMT -6
inthekitty Iām sorry about the drama. Good for you for sticking up for what is good for your family. I hope youāll have a wonderful time in the magic kingdom.
|
|
inthekitty
Emerald
My eyes are up here.
Posts: 10,679 Likes: 69,742
|
Post by inthekitty on Jan 14, 2020 15:28:52 GMT -6
Oh, and one more piece about the vacation drama. My brother lives in the same town as my mom, about a mile away from her house. In other words they see each other all the time. We live in a different state so we only see each other about once a month. These trips are usually an opportunity to spend more time together.
|
|
slenle
Sapphire
Posts: 3,181 Likes: 26,368
|
Post by slenle on Jan 14, 2020 15:30:33 GMT -6
Hi hi. How is it only Tuesday? Itās a pretty quiet week here. N starts gymnastics again tonight but itās not until 7:15 which means she wonāt be in bed until after 9. Ish. Not ideal, but the only option we have.
I need N13 to give me your thoughts. Sorry if this gets long.... DH earned a bonus/vaca to Miami in April. L will be 6 months old. I never left the other two overnight until they were over a year, so Iām thinking no way i can leave him for 6 days. My mom works for the same company and said sheās seen people bring infants on these trips (they are typically adult only- no kids), but another coworker of dhs said heās never seen babies. So here are my options
1- If we brought him, Iād line up a babysitter for a few times during the week (i have a HS classmate there who can hook me up with someone) but we still have him with us most of the time.
2- My sister offered to keep L for the week. I get a pit in my stomach just thinking about it, but she is the only person Iād trust leaving him with. My dad and the ILs will split the week at our house with N and H, but Iād still feel best leaving L with my sister if i had to. My biggest concern here is having to to pump all week and my fear of him not being interested in nursing when I get back.
3- i donāt go. Which probably wonāt happen. But i originally told Dh that if weāre ānot allowedā to bring him, I wouldnāt go. But this is dhs first time winning this trip and it would be good for us to get away together, which is the only reason Iām considering option 2.
I could also shorten the trip for myself, leave a day after Dh and come home a day sooner.
So. What would you do? Anyone here leave their babies for 6 days at that age? How did it okay? And how did to make it through?!
|
|
|
|
Post by flamingo on Jan 14, 2020 15:31:55 GMT -6
Ohhh and the surgeon removed dhās fingernail this morning. I have to change the dressings tomorrow morning. Send help. Oh gosh, my stomach literally flipped reading that. Bleh. Er...I mean, you can do this! Go Nam! |
|
|
|
Post by flamingo on Jan 14, 2020 15:36:20 GMT -6
slenle I vote leave him with your sister and go! I left C for the first time when she was about that age (6 months). Anecdotal, of course, but she was a hardcore nurser and refused to take a bottle from anyone, and I was nervous leaving her. But! She did great with my mom, took a bottle, and everyone survived while DH and I had a great time drinking daiquiris on a beach.  And she picked back up with nursing right where we left off. I think get-aways w/o the kids are so important for couples, and I think you will have *way* more fun without L (no offense, baby L) Yes, it's kind of a drag to pump, but you'll also be able to sleep late, eat late, lounge on the beach all day without worrying about a baby's schedule, etc. Congrats to your H for earning the trip!
|
|
inthekitty
Emerald
My eyes are up here.
Posts: 10,679 Likes: 69,742
|
Post by inthekitty on Jan 14, 2020 15:38:09 GMT -6
slenle I know lots of military moms that have had to leave young babies for trainings/missions/deployments and at the end of the day, the baby is always ok. Yes, there might be some tough days, but it all ends up okay. So I know how this sounds, but I'd go more by how you think you'd do than L. If you don't think you'd be able to enjoy the trip without him, go with option 1. If you think you could cope than go with option 2. I would try to make the trip happen either way. Having just the baby can still give you quality time with your husband and give you a bit of a break.
|
|
trtlcrzy
Moderator
Posts: 10,085 Likes: 58,458
|
Post by trtlcrzy on Jan 14, 2020 15:40:57 GMT -6
Hi hi. How is it only Tuesday? Itās a pretty quiet week here. N starts gymnastics again tonight but itās not until 7:15 which means she wonāt be in bed until after 9. Ish. Not ideal, but the only option we have. I need N13 to give me your thoughts. Sorry if this gets long.... DH earned a bonus/vaca to Miami in April. L will be 6 months old. I never left the other two overnight until they were over a year, so Iām thinking no way i can leave him for 6 days. My mom works for the same company and said sheās seen people bring infants on these trips (they are typically adult only- no kids), but another coworker of dhs said heās never seen babies. So here are my options 1- If we brought him, Iād line up a babysitter for a few times during the week (i have a HS classmate there who can hook me up with someone) but we still have him with us most of the time. 2- My sister offered to keep L for the week. I get a pit in my stomach just thinking about it, but she is the only person Iād trust leaving him with. My dad and the ILs will split the week at our house with N and H, but Iād still feel best leaving L with my sister if i had to. My biggest concern here is having to to pump all week and my fear of him not being interested in nursing when I get back. 3- i donāt go. Which probably wonāt happen. But i originally told Dh that if weāre ānot allowedā to bring him, I wouldnāt go. But this is dhs first time winning this trip and it would be good for us to get away together, which is the only reason Iām considering option 2. I could also shorten the trip for myself, leave a day after Dh and come home a day sooner. So. What would you do? Anyone here leave their babies for 6 days at that age? How did it okay? And how did to make it through?! I would go with option 1. I assume the trip will mostly be hanging at the pool and being tourists? ETA: if it was just a weekend I would be ok leaving him, but almost a week would be too hard for me personally. |
|
slenle
Sapphire
Posts: 3,181 Likes: 26,368
|
Post by slenle on Jan 14, 2020 15:45:01 GMT -6
slenle I vote leave him with your sister and go! I left C for the first time when she was about that age (6 months). Anecdotal, of course, but she was a hardcore nurser and refused to take a bottle from anyone, and I was nervous leaving her. But! She did great with my mom, took a bottle, and everyone survived while DH and I had a great time drinking daiquiris on a beach. And she picked back up with nursing right where we left off. I think get-aways w/o the kids are so important for couples, and I think you will have *way* more fun without L (no offense, baby L) Yes, it's kind of a drag to pump, but you'll also be able to sleep late, eat late, lounge on the beach all day without worrying about a baby's schedule, etc. Congrats to your H for earning the trip! Thank you, this is what i needed to hear! I think itās just so hard to think about right now since heās only 3 months. Maybe by then Iāll be more excited about it and ready for a break. |
|
slenle
Sapphire
Posts: 3,181 Likes: 26,368
|
Post by slenle on Jan 14, 2020 15:47:53 GMT -6
Hi hi. How is it only Tuesday? Itās a pretty quiet week here. N starts gymnastics again tonight but itās not until 7:15 which means she wonāt be in bed until after 9. Ish. Not ideal, but the only option we have. I need N13 to give me your thoughts. Sorry if this gets long.... DH earned a bonus/vaca to Miami in April. L will be 6 months old. I never left the other two overnight until they were over a year, so Iām thinking no way i can leave him for 6 days. My mom works for the same company and said sheās seen people bring infants on these trips (they are typically adult only- no kids), but another coworker of dhs said heās never seen babies. So here are my options 1- If we brought him, Iād line up a babysitter for a few times during the week (i have a HS classmate there who can hook me up with someone) but we still have him with us most of the time. 2- My sister offered to keep L for the week. I get a pit in my stomach just thinking about it, but she is the only person Iād trust leaving him with. My dad and the ILs will split the week at our house with N and H, but Iād still feel best leaving L with my sister if i had to. My biggest concern here is having to to pump all week and my fear of him not being interested in nursing when I get back. 3- i donāt go. Which probably wonāt happen. But i originally told Dh that if weāre ānot allowedā to bring him, I wouldnāt go. But this is dhs first time winning this trip and it would be good for us to get away together, which is the only reason Iām considering option 2. I could also shorten the trip for myself, leave a day after Dh and come home a day sooner. So. What would you do? Anyone here leave their babies for 6 days at that age? How did it okay? And how did to make it through?! I would go with option 1. I assume the trip will mostly be hanging at the pool and being tourists? ETA: if it was just a weekend I would be ok leaving him, but almost a week would be too hard for me personally. These were my thoughts originally. But the more Iām looking into it, itās a pretty swanky place so a baby might kill the mood. Lol. and a lot of times on these trips, we hang out with other couples so Iād hate to be the ones tying other people down. And yes, Iām freaking out about the week. I havenāt even left N and H more than 4 nights. Which is why i might consider shortening it a day or so |
|
nam2013
Emerald
Posts: 13,873 Likes: 69,348
|
Post by nam2013 on Jan 14, 2020 15:50:24 GMT -6
slenle I like the ābring him with a babysitter line upā option. I know Iām not the norm, but I have never been away from either kid until almost 2, and not for more than 2/3 nights. Not sure if youāre nursing, but Iād worry about that too. ETA also think about if you would be able to enjoy it, or if you constantly be worried, thinking about home etc.
|
|
|
|
Post by flamingo on Jan 14, 2020 15:56:13 GMT -6
slenle I vote leave him with your sister and go! I left C for the first time when she was about that age (6 months). Anecdotal, of course, but she was a hardcore nurser and refused to take a bottle from anyone, and I was nervous leaving her. But! She did great with my mom, took a bottle, and everyone survived while DH and I had a great time drinking daiquiris on a beach. And she picked back up with nursing right where we left off. I think get-aways w/o the kids are so important for couples, and I think you will have *way* more fun without L (no offense, baby L) Yes, it's kind of a drag to pump, but you'll also be able to sleep late, eat late, lounge on the beach all day without worrying about a baby's schedule, etc. Congrats to your H for earning the trip! Thank you, this is what i needed to hear! I think itās just so hard to think about right now since heās only 3 months. Maybe by then Iāll be more excited about it and ready for a break. Yes, when we booked the trip I was definitely iffy, but by the time it arrived, we had just been through the marathon of listing our house/selling it/packing up and moving everything into storage. We closed on the house the day before we left. I was exhausted and a week on the beach was just what I needed  |
|
|
|
Post by lahdeedah on Jan 14, 2020 16:28:03 GMT -6
Iāve been running on empty all day. I feel like i havenāt been able to utter a complete sentence at work today, before the phone rang or a coworker bathed into my office. Ohhh and the surgeon removed dhās fingernail this morning. I have to change the dressings tomorrow morning. Send help. Yikes. That does not sound fun. Hope you get good rest tonight. |
|
|
|
Post by lahdeedah on Jan 14, 2020 16:29:18 GMT -6
Oh, and one more piece about the vacation drama. My brother lives in the same town as my mom, about a mile away from her house. In other words they see each other all the time. We live in a different state so we only see each other about once a month. These trips are usually an opportunity to spend more time together. I was wondering if they lived together because of your mom seeming to not want to leave him. So they are codependent, huh? |
|
vino
Opal
Posts: 9,054 Likes: 56,450
|
Post by vino on Jan 14, 2020 16:33:01 GMT -6
I got tickets to the World Juniors!!!!!!!!!  |
|
|
|
Post by lahdeedah on Jan 14, 2020 17:04:40 GMT -6
I got tickets to the World Juniors!!!!!!!!! Yessssssss! :::chanting Vino, Vino, Vino:::: |
|
|
|
Post by lahdeedah on Jan 14, 2020 17:06:54 GMT -6
slenle I vote to go and shorten the trip by a couple days. Nothing like a kid free vacation if you can swing it and have people you trust your kids with. Congrats to Yh!
|
|
|
|
Post by lahdeedah on Jan 14, 2020 17:10:14 GMT -6
I had to leave the house because I was going to drive myself crazy with my thoughts. Yesterday M asked for taco Tuesday, so I had to run out to get the stuff for that and I did few other errands I was putting off until tomorrow. Rain.... bleh.
|
|
inthekitty
Emerald
My eyes are up here.
Posts: 10,679 Likes: 69,742
|
Post by inthekitty on Jan 14, 2020 17:33:39 GMT -6
Oh, and one more piece about the vacation drama. My brother lives in the same town as my mom, about a mile away from her house. In other words they see each other all the time. We live in a different state so we only see each other about once a month. These trips are usually an opportunity to spend more time together. I was wondering if they lived together because of your mom seeming to not want to leave him. So they are codependent, huh? Yes, very. For a long time I thought he'd never leave home and was shocked when he started to grow up a bit. Last year's trip showed me he hasn't grow up as much as I previously thought. |
|
lfig
Sapphire
Posts: 4,459 Likes: 34,078
|
Post by lfig on Jan 14, 2020 17:38:46 GMT -6
slenle I say go! Enjoy! Baby will be just fine! That time away will be good for you! When we went to Fiji last year for 2 weeks it was tough to leave S. Especially for that long and Especially because that was right after she started loosing function in her hands. I even got a push from her neurologist to go š. It was the best, most relaxing time! To not have to plan our time around naps, mealtimes, bedtime, medicine schedules, etc.,..it was a needed ārechargeā. And MH and I got to truly enjoy each otherās company with no distractions or added stress of parenting.
|
|
vino
Opal
Posts: 9,054 Likes: 56,450
|
Post by vino on Jan 14, 2020 17:43:44 GMT -6
slenle I vote to go and shorten the trip by a couple days. Nothing like a kid free vacation if you can swing it and have people you trust your kids with. Congrats to Yh! Exactly this slenle. |
|
wedding
Emerald
Posts: 14,402 Likes: 77,820
|
Post by wedding on Jan 14, 2020 17:54:44 GMT -6
I would go slenle. If you have to you could always go back early and get home fairly quick since itās in the country. With three kids Iām sure itās got to be hard to have that time with your H and to get any alone time. This is your chance! |
|
tgrimes
Diamond
Posts: 27,963
Likes: 139,242
|
Post by tgrimes on Jan 14, 2020 17:56:17 GMT -6
slenle I left M with my sister for 5 or 6 days when she was 6 months old. It was annoying because I had to fly M up there, then get on a plane at 4 am the next morning to fly back here and get on another plane to Mexico. She was just fine. She FaceTimed me and sent me pics the whole time. You should go.
|
|
And she picked back up with nursing right where we left off. 
