UO, FFS

[STP]

Haunted houses are stupid.

[willow]

I can’t disagree with you there, STP. But I have quite the aversion to stranger touch in general (like do not fucking hug me unless we are friends or family and even then, I’m picky) so the idea of people in my personal space that I can’t see or control is a nightmare.

[thatgolfb]

I hate being startled, so yes, I agree. Not fun for me.

[angelashly]

I agree. I don't mind scary movies, but I am not into haunted houses

[veganontuesdays]

I don't hate your "typical" scary houses with blinking lights, creepy gremlins, etc. I am NOT trying to do one of those experiences where they whip real spiders at you and try to make you live your worst nightmare.

[sterling]

I heard one that is interesting to debate but it’s not my opinion. But here you go: marriages should be treated like leases. After 10 years, you decide to re-up for 5 more years or end it, and based on prearranged terms you can walk away smoothly. Lawyers would make a killing with this, I suspect.

[STP]

Oct 17, 2019 6:45:42 GMT -6 sterling said:

I heard one that is interesting to debate but it’s not my opinion. But here you go: marriages should be treated like leases. After 10 years, you decide to re-up for 5 more years or end it, and based on prearranged terms you can walk away smoothly. Lawyers would make a killing with this, I suspect.

I think it’s an interesting argument until you factor in kids.

[sterling]

Oct 17, 2019 6:48:01 GMT -6 STP said:

Oct 17, 2019 6:45:42 GMT -6 sterling said:

I heard one that is interesting to debate but it’s not my opinion. But here you go: marriages should be treated like leases. After 10 years, you decide to re-up for 5 more years or end it, and based on prearranged terms you can walk away smoothly. Lawyers would make a killing with this, I suspect.

I think it’s an interesting argument until you factor in kids.

Agreed. Impossible IMO to fully factor in prearranged terms with kids before you experience parenthood.

[gussie]

Oct 17, 2019 6:48:52 GMT -6 sterling said:

Oct 17, 2019 6:48:01 GMT -6 STP said:

I think it’s an interesting argument until you factor in kids.

Agreed. Impossible IMO to fully factor in prearranged terms with kids before you experience parenthood.

Also the finances portion would get sticky if you are in a completely different financial situation in ten years. Ten years of marriage for MH and I will go from us both having full time jobs and with no kids to three kids and owning at least two businesses together that he works at full time and I SAH.

[gallagher]

I hate horror movies.
Dont get me wrong, i love a good violent or suspenseful movie, but movies that are just gory...hard pass.

[gimmeaQ]

i don't like anything gory, violent or scary

[thatgolfb]

Oct 17, 2019 6:45:42 GMT -6 sterling said:

I heard one that is interesting to debate but it’s not my opinion. But here you go: marriages should be treated like leases. After 10 years, you decide to re-up for 5 more years or end it, and based on prearranged terms you can walk away smoothly. Lawyers would make a killing with this, I suspect.

Eh. I don't hate this, but I don't really think it should be necessary. Marriage is already a contract. Yes, for some people there is also a religious meaning to it, but not everyone. I think in general there shouldn't be so much stigma associated with divorce. I think we all go into marriage with heart eyes and good hopes for it, but things don't always go as planned. Life happens, people change and grow apart. 

[thatgolfb]

Oct 17, 2019 7:01:26 GMT -6 gimmeaQ said:

i don't like anything gory, violent or scary

I am usually the same, but for some reason I like American Horror Story. Maybe because it is more campy than anything else? I couldn't do certain seasons, though, like the circus one. I tried twice and couldn't get past half the first episode.

[STP]

To sterling's post, maybe a pre-kids, pre-marriage kind of thing. Like... you can get "married" for five years to enjoy the tax breaks and health care shit, and test it out. If at the end of five years, assuming no children, you can walk away if that's what you want or make it permanent.

Interesting.

[STP]

Oct 17, 2019 7:03:08 GMT -6 thatgolfb said:

Oct 17, 2019 6:45:42 GMT -6 sterling said:

I heard one that is interesting to debate but it’s not my opinion. But here you go: marriages should be treated like leases. After 10 years, you decide to re-up for 5 more years or end it, and based on prearranged terms you can walk away smoothly. Lawyers would make a killing with this, I suspect.

Eh. I don't hate this, but I don't really think it should be necessary. Marriage is already a contract. Yes, for some people there is also a religious meaning to it, but not everyone. I think in general there shouldn't be so much stigma associated with divorce. I think we all go into marriage with heart eyes and good hopes for it, but things don't always go as planned. Life happens, people change and grow apart. 

I think just making it less legally expensive and awful to separate would be the benefit.

[gallagher]

Ehh...I think the leased marriage thing does nothing more than trivialize marriage. Isnt the whole point of marriage a lifelong commitment? In my opinion, marriage is a huge deal and not something a couple of roommates or friends should be able to do to get some financial incentives.

[lemondrop]

I think matcha is gross.

I've tried it in multiple types of drinks, sweets (macarons, chocolate chip cookies) and noodles.

Gross every time. I need to stop trying to make it happen. It's not gunna happen. Everyone around me raves about it.

[zoeylucy]

Along these lines, I shouldn’t have to wait 30 days after filing my dissolution paperwork to schedule a date with the judge. Let me out of this marriage, now!

[harvestmoon]

Take out marriage and replace with prenup and I know people who have done this. As in a prenup that expired 10 years into the marriage. (I also know the H in the marriage seriously started considering exiting the marriage around year 9 and then got into a biding his time mindset that I hated. Although ultimately they are still married.)

[lemondrop]

Oct 17, 2019 7:01:26 GMT -6 gimmeaQ said:

i don't like anything gory, violent or scary

Add torture to this, and yep. Nah thanks. 

[STP]

Oct 17, 2019 7:09:22 GMT -6 gallagher said:

Ehh...I think the leased marriage thing does nothing more than trivialize marriage. Isnt the whole point of marriage a lifelong commitment? In my opinion, marriage is a huge deal and not something a couple of roommates or friends should be able to do to get some financial incentives.

But that's how you view it.

Not how other people do. And if we are going to offer financial and legal benefits to it, we are setting up a situation where the divorce rate is where it is. 

[jaidit]

I think people put a lot of emphasis on marriage being such a “thing” in general. Why the need to be married and make it for life? I don’t like the stigma that surrounds divorce, too. When a relationship isn’t working why is it not okay to not be in it anymore?

[lemondrop]

A marriage lease would have saved me... thousands... of dollars in my divorce.

I like this idea.

[STP]

Oct 17, 2019 7:11:10 GMT -6 zoeylucy said:

Along these lines, I shouldn’t have to wait 30 days after filing my dissolution paperwork to schedule a date with the judge. Let me out of this marriage, now!

That's the part that I think is BS. Sure it might take awhile to sort out the assets and custody, but dissolve the marriage when the person asks. 

I know friends who are still married a year or so after filing, because of the wrangling over money and stuff. Why can't that go on but they be properly divorced, so they can at least feel freer to move on from that part? And change their name back, because that was important to one of my friends. 

[STP]

Oct 17, 2019 7:14:46 GMT -6 Nota🎃 said:

As of recently I find true crimes, law and order or the like scare me more and can send me into a panic more than any horror or scary shows/movies/haunted houses.

But I would rather salt and burn or throw some holy water at supernatural bullshit than fight with real life psychos/sociopaths.

For some reason, I'm the opposite. I can deal with real life stuff because I can find an answer/reason in it, awful as that may be.

I can't do nothing with ghosts. 

[thatgolfb]

Oct 17, 2019 7:05:30 GMT -6 STP said:

Oct 17, 2019 7:03:08 GMT -6 thatgolfb said:

Eh. I don't hate this, but I don't really think it should be necessary. Marriage is already a contract. Yes, for some people there is also a religious meaning to it, but not everyone. I think in general there shouldn't be so much stigma associated with divorce. I think we all go into marriage with heart eyes and good hopes for it, but things don't always go as planned. Life happens, people change and grow apart. 

I think just making it less legally expensive and awful to separate would be the benefit.

I get that. I am supportive of the idea, I guess I just wish it weren't such a burdensome process currently, you know? 

[gallagher]

Oct 17, 2019 7:12:22 GMT -6 STP said:

Oct 17, 2019 7:09:22 GMT -6 gallagher said:

Ehh...I think the leased marriage thing does nothing more than trivialize marriage. Isnt the whole point of marriage a lifelong commitment? In my opinion, marriage is a huge deal and not something a couple of roommates or friends should be able to do to get some financial incentives.

But that's how you view it.

Not how other people do. And if we are going to offer financial and legal benefits to it, we are setting up a situation where the divorce rate is where it is. 

I see the point of the argument. But the financial and legal aspects of divorce should be the deterrent to not get married. We shouldnt set up some fake marriage system just to make divorce easy and inexpensive. Isnt this leased marriage thing just like getting a prenup?

[addymac]

Oct 17, 2019 7:14:07 GMT -6 jaidit said:

I think people put a lot of emphasis on marriage being such a “thing” in general. Why the need to be married and make it for life? I don’t like the stigma that surrounds divorce, too. When a relationship isn’t working why is it not okay to not be in it anymore?

I agree. I never felt like we *had* to get married. We were in a committed relationship for 7+ years and had made our life plans. The only pressure I felt was from other people and calling him my boyfriend vs fiancé/husband, because they made me feel like that it wasn’t serious enough or that I *needed* a ring. I wish society didn’t have as much emphasis on the ring and marriage because *to me* what’s more important is the actual relationship. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[zoeylucy]

STP, exactly. In my case, there isn’t even any financial wrangling. It’s all done. Just let us both move on with our lives.

[STP]

And BTW, I actually very much believe in marriage. But I think we have put legal trappings on it that are kind of bullshit.

And in no way do I judge divorce. Life is way too short. I only judge people who use their kids and make it hell for them, during a divorce.