|
Post by CoachTsWife on May 22, 2019 8:00:20 GMT -6
Tonight is our last day of swim lessons and I'm not sad. Both boys are doing well and mostly loving it, but swim nights are madness and I'm ready for some slower evenings.
We have a tradition on the Sunday of Memorial Day weekend where we meet my mom, grandpa (102 years old), and uncles at the cemetery in my hometown and decorate graves of family members. Then we drive to the next town over where a few other family members are buried and decorate those graves. THEN we go to this mom 'n pop diner for breakfast. It is a tradition that I love but has gotten harder to do with the boys. IDK that we'll do it this year though - my grandpa is failing and I'm not sure he can go. And our May has been nuts and I really want to stay home all weekend.
|
|
cythe
Moderator
Posts: 2,718 Likes: 11,586
|
Post by cythe on May 22, 2019 11:01:45 GMT -6
Guys, can I just vent some insecurities here with no judgement?
My mom received her inheritance money from my grandmothers estate sale and has been asking me about transferring our last embryo. I would love to do that, more than anything I would love to be pregnant and have another kid.
That said, ive been dragging my feet on calling because im worried about E and her development issues. If E ends up being special needs, what if a second child is the same. I dont know if i can handle that basically on my own (i say on my own because i am basically a single parent with H's work). I know thats shitty, please know that I know its awful to think that. I know a special needs child is hardly the worst thing in the world, but its really affecting my decision to try and have another child.
Ugh. I feel shitty but its how i feel.
|
|
|
Post by August Blooms on May 22, 2019 12:11:22 GMT -6
Hey all! Life is crazy busy, seasonal allergies are kicking my butt and making me more tired than usual. We may be putting in an offer on a house, we are going to take a second look tonight and then decide. I love the house but am very stressed out on it because $$$ and DH and I aren’t in the best place right now. Marriage is hard with 2 kids and 2 full time jobs.
I just caught up on the goings on in O17 since DD1 fell asleep in the car. We are just about to go in for her 4 year old appointment, she doesn’t know she’s getting vaccines yet 😬
|
|
|
Post by August Blooms on May 22, 2019 12:12:45 GMT -6
cythe Don’t feel bad about feeling how you feel. Sending you hugs.
|
|
|
Post by CoachTsWife on May 22, 2019 12:35:01 GMT -6
cythe hugs to you, dear. It is ok, and understandable, to feel that way. Is there a timeline on transferring the embryo? What are you H's thoughts on it?
|
|
cythe
Moderator
Posts: 2,718 Likes: 11,586
|
Post by cythe on May 22, 2019 12:36:34 GMT -6
cythe hugs to you, dear. It is ok, and understandable, to feel that way. Is there a timeline on transferring the embryo? What are you H's thoughts on it? There isnt a timeline necessarily, but we pay $70 a month to keep it on ice
|
|
|
Post by curmudgeon on May 22, 2019 13:22:40 GMT -6
Does anyone have plans for the long weekend? Somehow having a few friends over turned into 20+ people and kids coming over Monday. Here’s hoping the weather is mild so I can keep them outside and not have to clean my house for company. We live on a river and have an entire lot cleared where we can lay out and the water is shallow enough for the kids. So, we will likely be there all weekend. Another family member has a pool, so we may alternate. But swimming, sunning, and grilling - and adult beverages - are my only plans. It's supposed to be 99 here all weekend, so I hope it isn't as scorching for you! um this sounds amazing. We have a giant water slide we are setting up for the kids but all the adults will have to suffer in our 85 degree 100% humidity weather.
|
|
|
Post by thatgirlrachel on May 22, 2019 14:23:27 GMT -6
We live on a river and have an entire lot cleared where we can lay out and the water is shallow enough for the kids. So, we will likely be there all weekend. Another family member has a pool, so we may alternate. But swimming, sunning, and grilling - and adult beverages - are my only plans. It's supposed to be 99 here all weekend, so I hope it isn't as scorching for you! um this sounds amazing. We have a giant water slide we are setting up for the kids but all the adults will have to suffer in our 85 degree 100% humidity weather. Who said the water slide is just for kids?
|
|
|
Post by bootsorhearts1 on May 22, 2019 14:43:17 GMT -6
cythe I think it’s normal to feel that way. There no rush on transferring right? I mean they’re not going anywhere. Forgive me because I should know this but is E your only or do you have an older kidlet?
|
|
cythe
Moderator
Posts: 2,718 Likes: 11,586
|
Post by cythe on May 22, 2019 14:57:23 GMT -6
cythe I think it’s normal to feel that way. There no rush on transferring right? I mean they’re not going anywhere. Forgive me because I should know this but is E your only or do you have an older kidlet? No they arent going anywhere, outside of costing us a ton of money just to store one stinking embryo. E is our only
|
|
danvers
Platinum
Posts: 1,924 Likes: 6,087
|
Post by danvers on May 22, 2019 16:35:10 GMT -6
cythe it is not selfish or unreasonable or anything else to focus on just E right now or just E forever. If the 70.00 isn’t too much for you all right now I’d keep waiting to see what comes from E’s testing and what the future might hold after the testing. I think we all know a ton of people who waited to have kids or only had 1 because those first kids (or only kids) were “difficult” kids for reasons outside of special needs. There is no judgement in acknowledging you using your energy for E and trying to save something for yourself and your H. If you don’t have to make a decision yet, don’t. See what E’s testing says. Is she getting another early intervention assessment? I know you were unsure of MRI and CAT scans but have you decided to go through with one or both? Getting some answers about what’s going on (and if it’s genetic) can help you figure out how to move forward too.
|
|
|
Post by bootsorhearts1 on May 22, 2019 16:40:49 GMT -6
Anyone else unreasonably excited for the Good Omens series coming out soon on Amazon? Maybe it’s because I just read the book in the last year.
|
|
|
Post by bootsorhearts1 on May 22, 2019 16:42:41 GMT -6
cythe you seem to really have your shit together so I thought you were a second time mom!
|
|
|
Post by curmudgeon on May 22, 2019 17:36:03 GMT -6
cythe those are perfectly valid feelings and fears. Don’t feel shitty. It’s hard and exhausting to raise one “normal” child with 2 parents splitting the duties equally, so being the solo parent the majority of the time is that much more emotionally and physically draining. I hope June is the month that you get something, anything, that paints a clearer picture of E and her development.
|
|
cythe
Moderator
Posts: 2,718 Likes: 11,586
|
Post by cythe on May 22, 2019 20:03:15 GMT -6
Is she getting another early intervention assessment? I know you were unsure of MRI and CAT scans but have you decided to go through with one or both? Getting some answers about what’s going on (and if it’s genetic) can help you figure out how to move forward too. She is scheduled for her EI on June 6, i called them 3 weeks ago 😡 Her MRI is scheduled for June 19th, i called them 2 months ago. At her pedi appt this past week, the pedi said she would call and see if she could get that moved up, but no one has called so i guess thats a no there, too The more i talk about how much of a pain in the ass it has been to get a quick appointment the more angry I get.
|
|
Taitai
Opal
Posts: 8,305 Likes: 54,853
|
Post by Taitai on May 23, 2019 0:21:33 GMT -6
cythe I second everything that danvers and others have said. You are by no means a shitty mom or person for having those feelings. In fact, I think they’re perfectly normal and indicate that you have a good head on your shoulders. I’d be thinking the same thing if I was in your shoes. I hope you can get some answers in June which will give you more insight into what is going on with E. Just reading your post makes me angry at the ridiculously expensive, yet inefficient, bureaucracy-laden, and time-lagged U.S. healthcare system. If you lived where I do, you’d get appointments and follow-ups/consultations within a day or two....one week max. I hope you can put some pressure on them and get some urgency on your case. Maybe just be demanding and say you need help right now - you have a 19 month old with 1 word and no crawling/walking. Not help in a month - now. Sorry to post so long - I’m just pissed for you.
|
|
|
Post by bootsorhearts1 on May 23, 2019 10:13:14 GMT -6
cythe I 2nd what Taitai is saying. Can you call and go mama bear on them?
|
|
|
Post by curmudgeon on May 23, 2019 10:57:38 GMT -6
My kid got kicked out of daycare. He can maybe return in the fall but they are hoping a disruption in his routine will help with his biting and hair ripping. So now I scramble to find an alternative for the summer. I’ve called 2 people and 3 centers and only 1 center has space. Of course it would be the center we don’t really want
|
|
|
Post by bootsorhearts1 on May 23, 2019 12:39:41 GMT -6
curmudgeon oh no! That is so stressful. I hope you can find a place. I can’t believe they kicked him out. All kids go through some kind of biting/hitting/touching phase and it’s usually just a phase you have to manage and wait it out. Has it been going on for a while?
|
|
|
Post by curmudgeon on May 23, 2019 18:29:24 GMT -6
curmudgeon oh no! That is so stressful. I hope you can find a place. I can’t believe they kicked him out. All kids go through some kind of biting/hitting/touching phase and it’s usually just a phase you have to manage and wait it out. Has it been going on for a while? a few months I guess? It started with a girl who wore pigtails on top of her head so they stuck up. He liked to grab them bc they look like a nice play thing. Then progressed.
|
|
|
Post by bootsorhearts1 on May 23, 2019 19:06:10 GMT -6
curmudgeon that seems like a huge overreaction to kick him out. Wtf????
|
|
|
Post by curmudgeon on May 23, 2019 20:04:57 GMT -6
curmudgeon that seems like a huge overreaction to kick him out. Wtf???? part of me is like that and the other part is thinking if the roles were reversed I’d be pissed. He is ripping hair out to where one girl has a bald spot. The teachers have to shadow him and he bites now too. Unprovoked. He bites his brother at random and while he cries when we firmly scold him, we still do a short time out. We encouraged the teachers to do the same or offer some consequence because they weren’t. They said “he’s too babyish”. Which, yeah he is but now we’re here where he’s asked to not return.
|
|
cythe
Moderator
Posts: 2,718 Likes: 11,586
|
Post by cythe on May 24, 2019 6:04:26 GMT -6
My kid got kicked out of daycare. He can maybe return in the fall but they are hoping a disruption in his routine will help with his biting and hair ripping. So now I scramble to find an alternative for the summer. I’ve called 2 people and 3 centers and only 1 center has space. Of course it would be the center we don’t really want What, no thats awful! I cant imagine how stressful that is to try and find something on the fly like that. I hope the disruption does him some good and you guys can get the behavior under control
|
|
cythe
Moderator
Posts: 2,718 Likes: 11,586
|
Post by cythe on May 24, 2019 6:11:01 GMT -6
I called the hospital to see if they could move up E's MRI and they said no, they have no openings but reassured me that she is on the list for cancellations and they would call me yadda yadda yadda. I didn't bother calling EI because when she was seen at 12 months it was a similar lead time and I'm sure they're just that busy.
In the mean time, I'm taking E to the chiropractor. She's so wobbly when she stands, i wonder if it isn't in part to some balance issue.
She wants to stand, she wants to use her feet/legs to climb but just... can't. Or won't. She has great use of her legs while sitting, she will lift her leg when she tries to put her own socks or shoes on (she can damn near lift it to her head) she just can't seem to lift them upright or standing.
Anyway, all that to say since I cant do anything else we are going the holistic route for a bit.
|
|
Taitai
Opal
Posts: 8,305 Likes: 54,853
|
Post by Taitai on May 24, 2019 7:19:12 GMT -6
cythe I am so sorry they can’t get you in sooner, and I feel so horribly for you and E. It just breaks my heart that she’s trying and it’s taking so long to get answers from the doctors. Just know that you are a good mom, none of this is your fault, and if you feel you don’t have the bandwidth for a second child now (or even ever), that is okay and it’s nothing to feel bad about. Period. I’ll be praying for a cancellation on the MRI. Big, big hugs.
|
|
|
Post by CoachTsWife on May 24, 2019 7:32:10 GMT -6
curmudgeon I hope that switching things up helps your DS. I can't imagine having to find a new child care provider all of a sudden. Are both boys are the same place? cythe I hope you see some benefit from the chiropractic care while you wait for the MRI. You have been the greatest advocate for E, I can't imagine how frustrating the wait is. I will also pray for a cancellation. (((hugs)))
|
|
|
Post by CoachTsWife on May 24, 2019 7:36:21 GMT -6
We had our monthly Parents As Teachers visit last night. I asked her about DS2's speech and she did not hesitate to offer to submit a referral for an evaluation. She said he needed to be half his age behind to qualify for help - so I guess at the speech level of an almost 10 month old. We doubt he'll qualify because his receptive language is good - but she said they would determine how far behind he might be and could offer suggestions to help. So we're waiting on a call to get that set up.
|
|
danvers
Platinum
Posts: 1,924 Likes: 6,087
|
Post by danvers on May 24, 2019 18:19:07 GMT -6
Long story short - H and I decided to see if the girls can go off and on to daycare this summer and just pay the normal full time rates to save our spots. The wait list has apparently tripled so I don’t see another option.
I do not know what we would have done had the girls not had a spot next August. There are not many great options here so while I don’t enjoy paying $$$ I am relieved that we know for certain where the girls will be this fall!
File all this under “shit no one cares about except the mom currently loving it” 😩😑
|
|
|
Post by doodlemommy on May 24, 2019 22:01:09 GMT -6
Hi ladies! This time of year is so insanely busy for me at work. Between assessments, writing reports, classroom screenings and report cards, updating IEP goals...my brain is at max capacity. On top of that I have two baby showers for my sister to host in the next week (one at church on Monday, I coordinate the nursery stuff so it has nothing to do with the fact that it’s my sister. One at my mom’s house next Saturday that we are co-hosting with her MIL and SIL). Top that off with complicated babysitting logistics for my kids the past two weeks and continuing due to my mom’s surgery and restrictions (meaning more days I have to pick DD up from preschool and drive her to my ILs on my lunch break). Oh, and DD’s preschool graduation Wednesday and then wrap up party Friday. I am so incredibly at capacity mentally and physically. I need to get through the next week and it will start to lighten up but man, I’m exhausted
|
|
|
Post by doodlemommy on May 24, 2019 22:03:29 GMT -6
Oh, I forgot to mention that I also picked up a new private speech contract kiddo that I see for the first time tomorrow...between DD’s soccer and an open house at a just listed house we want to go to. And my anatomy scan Friday after DD’s preschool party (that I did on purpose since I was taking the day off anyways). Why oh why 😭
|
|