Happy Wednesday!

[cagoldi]

Stay safe out there, tgrimes and klong11.

[cagoldi]

Morning.

Work, then therapy for X this afternoon.

I am so tired I might go to bed as soon as the kids do.

[nam2013]

Morning. Lots of errands again, mail stuff I put on Craigslist, cleaning, school runs and going to city hall to put in an application for ds’ passport. Two people are picking something up that I had put on Craigslist. This selling stuff online is keeping me busy! Dinner with a friend at an amazing seafood restaurant tonight, can’t wait!

[peachsmama]

I fell asleep before I could switch my laundry last night and now all my pants are in the washer.. wet.

[wineallthetime]

Morning! I'm at work today. Yesterday we had an Early On appointment for A to assess where he's at developmentally. They put him at about an 8 month old level (he's 14 months, 12 months adjusted), so that was a bit of a bummer but hoping he'll catch up in the next year with some extra support.

[vino]

Hopefully your day flies by and you’re resting in no time cagoldi

I have no doubt that A will kick ass wineallthetime, hopefully they have a plan in place and can start soon.

[vino]

Morning!

I’m off for the next three days! Woo hoo!

Today I’m a parent volunteer with B’s class; we’re heading down to the river valley park again, same place we went in the fall. This is the third and last day of his ‘Forest school’ as they call it and yesterday he was saying he wished his school was always outside, it’s ‘way more fun to learn running through trees and playing’. I think it’ll be nice to have some one on one time, especially after last weekend.

[peachsmama]

I keep forgetting to tell you chrisy01, I got the box of baby clothes. So cute! Thanks so much for doing that!! PM me your PayPal so I can pay you for shipping!

[Sunny41]

so question for ya'll: if you try to parent outside of gender norms (aka boys wear pink and have long hair) is this a for of gender neutral parenting?

There was a comment that it is on an FB board I am on. I woudl disagree. E fully knows his gender but doesn't know the typical norms (he knows skirts and dresses are for girls and not boys, although he has worn a tutu). Would you consider it gender neutral parenting?

[wineallthetime]

May 8, 2019 6:49:04 GMT -6 Sunny41 said:

so question for ya'll: if you try to parent outside of gender norms (aka boys wear pink and have long hair) is this a for of gender neutral parenting?

There was a comment that it is on an FB board I am on. I woudl disagree. E fully knows his gender but doesn't know the typical norms (he knows skirts and dresses are for girls and not boys, although he has worn a tutu). Would you consider it gender neutral parenting?

No.

[chrisy01]

Morning! Yesterday was rough to keep up with. And guess who has jury duty today. I decided to just get it over and done with but after looking up some articles and things, they might make me defer it for a few months until I’m done breastfeeding. Apparently most courtrooms in my county don’t have space for pumping/nursing moms, and some judges don’t want to deal with it.

[Sunny41]

boring work day followed by a girls night out. I really need it and I think MH needs a quiet night at home with E. For the first time since before Denver we actually sat and chatted last night. It helped my understand some of the comments he is making about his workload and his grumpy mood. I still need him to help around the house though

[nam2013]

Sunny41 Ds does have long hair, we tell them pink is not a girl colour (although if it was up to dd her entire wardrobe would be pink) and blue is is not a boy colour, they play with the same toys. The pastel coloured wooden rainbow is one of ds favourite things ever. They both have dolls. If ds wants to wear a skirt, that is just fine. But we’re not parenting gender neutral, both our kids know their gender/sex. We emphasise everybody is different and likes different things.

ETA to answer your question, for me no.

[Sunny41]

May 8, 2019 6:57:59 GMT -6 nam2013 said:

Sunny41 Ds does have long hair, we tell them pink is not a girl colour (although if it was up to dd her entire wardrobe would be pink) and blue is is not a boy colour, they play with the same toys. The pastel coloured wooden rainbow is one of ds favourite things ever. They both have dolls. If ds wants to wear a skirt, that is just fine. But we’re not parenting gender neutral, both our kids know their gender/sex. We emphasise everybody is different and likes different things.

thanks, i was like gender norms and gender identity aren't the same but are they both classified as gender neutral parenting. I didn't think this defined our parenting but i needed confirmation 

[kelly]

Guys, I just got school pictures of the boys. I'm dying. I'd post in the private board but I no longer know the password... HELP

[Sunny41]

May 8, 2019 7:01:55 GMT -6 kelly said:

Guys, I just got school pictures of the boys. I'm dying. I'd post in the private board but I no longer know the password... HELP

sent you tapa message with it

[Sunny41]

guys there are royal baby pictures!!

[mwhip]

wineallthetime A caught up quickly after being born so early, so I'm sure he will catch up quickly on the developmentally side as well. How long do you wait for a follow up?

I'm really annoyed with a FB friend for saying I'm 'harsh' for not going back with Evie at her dentist appointments. I know I shouldn't take it so personally, but I don't think that's harsh. I think it will slowly teach her independence. Do you all go back with them for regular cleaning/check ups? Am I too harsh? I mean, yes, my personality in general, is harsh. But it's not like I dropped her off at the door and yelled 'Peace Out' as I sped away. I also think every kid handles it differently and I know for my kid, she does better with anxiety causing events, if I am not around.

[mwhip]

tgrimes and klong11 Hope your drives are better today, please update us when you get a chance.

[guster]

@wine, I think it’s great they’re putting a plan in place for a, and I have no doubt that he will make tremendous strides.
mwhip, I saw that comment on your Facebook post and I side-eyed it. You know your kid, and what works best for her. I’m sure if Evie (or the dentist or the hygienist) asked you to come back, you would.
Our dentist here encourages us to stay in the room, but I tend to lurk at the farthest wall and let Josie and Charlie answer questions, follow directions without my prompting, etc.
Granted we haven’t had any dental work aside from cleanings and x-rays.

[chrisy01]

Be safe klong11 and tgrimes

[mwhip]

May 8, 2019 7:37:08 GMT -6 guster said:

@wine, I think it’s great they’re putting a plan in place for a, and I have no doubt that he will make tremendous strides.
mwhip , I saw that comment on your Facebook post and I side-eyed it. You know your kid, and what works best for her. I’m sure if Evie (or the dentist or the hygienist) asked you to come back, you would.
Our dentist here encourages us to stay in the room, but I tend to lurk at the farthest wall and let Josie and Charlie answer questions, follow directions without my prompting, etc.
Granted we haven’t had any dental work aside from cleanings and x-rays.

Oh absolutely.  And they do come get the parents at the end of the visit to review how everything went.  They also encourage parents to stay out in the waiting area.  The hygenist who comes to get the kids talks to the parent about any concerns/questions, then asks if what they are planning on doing during the visit is all okay.  I did lie to Evie though and tell her that mommies aren't allowed back after the first visit, because she would want me back there.  But the hygenist and the dentist both agree, it's best for me and Evie that I stay in the waiting area.  It's not like I'm ignoring her screaming from the waiting area.

[guster]

May 8, 2019 7:49:50 GMT -6 mwhip said:

May 8, 2019 7:37:08 GMT -6 guster said:

@wine, I think it’s great they’re putting a plan in place for a, and I have no doubt that he will make tremendous strides.
mwhip , I saw that comment on your Facebook post and I side-eyed it. You know your kid, and what works best for her. I’m sure if Evie (or the dentist or the hygienist) asked you to come back, you would.
Our dentist here encourages us to stay in the room, but I tend to lurk at the farthest wall and let Josie and Charlie answer questions, follow directions without my prompting, etc.
Granted we haven’t had any dental work aside from cleanings and x-rays.

Oh absolutely.  And they do come get the parents at the end of the visit to review how everything went.  They also encourage parents to stay out in the waiting area.  The hygenist who comes to get the kids talks to the parent about any concerns/questions, then asks if what they are planning on doing during the visit is all okay.  I did lie to Evie though and tell her that mommies aren't allowed back after the first visit, because she would want me back there.  But the hygenist and the dentist both agree, it's best for me and Evie that I stay in the waiting area.  It's not like I'm ignoring her screaming from the waiting area.

I couldn’t figure out how to cut down the quote box, but the last thing you wrote is what matters.
You’re not ignoring your kid because you want to play on your phone. You’re not going back there because it’s the best thing for E to have a successful dentist appointment without anxiety, stress, etc. I wish people would just stay in their lane.

[kim22]

mwhip we go to a dentist that has like 6 rooms going with a hygienist in each and I usually take all the kids at the same time. I’m there but basically running around to everyone so the kids are on their own most of the time. Next time, the baby has an appointment and he will be 18 months so obviously I will be with him and the others will be fine. I think there are times when we should see our kids as “only 5” and times when we should see them as “already 5.”

[jewels]

May 8, 2019 6:49:04 GMT -6 Sunny41 said:

so question for ya'll: if you try to parent outside of gender norms (aka boys wear pink and have long hair) is this a for of gender neutral parenting?

There was a comment that it is on an FB board I am on. I woudl disagree. E fully knows his gender but doesn't know the typical norms (he knows skirts and dresses are for girls and not boys, although he has worn a tutu). Would you consider it gender neutral parenting?

What I've seen on line about gender neutral parenting is literally not discussing the gender with the child.  Making no reference to boy or girl, etc. 

Letting your child make choices about their hair, clothes and colors does not fall under this, IMO.

[jewels]

May 8, 2019 7:15:18 GMT -6 mwhip said:

wineallthetime A caught up quickly after being born so early, so I'm sure he will catch up quickly on the developmentally side as well. How long do you wait for a follow up?

I'm really annoyed with a FB friend for saying I'm 'harsh' for not going back with Evie at her dentist appointments. I know I shouldn't take it so personally, but I don't think that's harsh. I think it will slowly teach her independence. Do you all go back with them for regular cleaning/check ups? Am I too harsh? I mean, yes, my personality in general, is harsh. But it's not like I dropped her off at the door and yelled 'Peace Out' as I sped away. I also think every kid handles it differently and I know for my kid, she does better with anxiety causing events, if I am not around.

mwhip  I don't think it's harsh or not harsh. I think the bolded says it all.  For S, the first handful of times, he would have freaked out if I wasn't there, he needs that reassurance from me.  But at this point, I am probably only going back with him b/c B also has his appts at the same time and I have to hold him on my lap.  S is fine and actually reassuring B now.  

All that to say, no one knows your kid better than you and your H, so screw whoever judged you!!

[jewels]

tgrimes klong11 how was your drive this morning?
tgrimes did the person from your work ever make it to p/u his kid? I remember one time years ago we had awful flooding and it took like 4 hours to drive home and I got to DC after 8:00. S was the only kid there and I felt awful, but they were so nice about it and never even sent me a bill.

[Sunny41]

May 8, 2019 7:49:50 GMT -6 mwhip said:

May 8, 2019 7:37:08 GMT -6 guster said:

@wine, I think it’s great they’re putting a plan in place for a, and I have no doubt that he will make tremendous strides.
mwhip , I saw that comment on your Facebook post and I side-eyed it. You know your kid, and what works best for her. I’m sure if Evie (or the dentist or the hygienist) asked you to come back, you would.
Our dentist here encourages us to stay in the room, but I tend to lurk at the farthest wall and let Josie and Charlie answer questions, follow directions without my prompting, etc.
Granted we haven’t had any dental work aside from cleanings and x-rays.

Oh absolutely.  And they do come get the parents at the end of the visit to review how everything went.  They also encourage parents to stay out in the waiting area.  The hygenist who comes to get the kids talks to the parent about any concerns/questions, then asks if what they are planning on doing during the visit is all okay.  I did lie to Evie though and tell her that mommies aren't allowed back after the first visit, because she would want me back there.  But the hygenist and the dentist both agree, it's best for me and Evie that I stay in the waiting area.  It's not like I'm ignoring her screaming from the waiting area.

I'm glad they interact with the parent even if you are out of the room. That's my concern, does she understand what treatments they are doing, what are they doing, do they respect her saying no, is she ever left alone in the chair or in a private room with 1 individual. I wouldn't send E in to the pediatrician room without me because he doesn't understand how to answer the drs questions or convey the information to me. I'm glad to hear they have a plan on how to treat a minor with the parents input even at such a young age. Did her anxiety start with a cleaning or filling?


ETA I have seen that this is a common thing and just wonder about these logistics

ETA I don't think it was harsh or mean or mom wanting to play on the phone

[wineallthetime]

May 8, 2019 7:15:18 GMT -6 mwhip said:

wineallthetime A caught up quickly after being born so early, so I'm sure he will catch up quickly on the developmentally side as well. How long do you wait for a follow up?

I'm really annoyed with a FB friend for saying I'm 'harsh' for not going back with Evie at her dentist appointments. I know I shouldn't take it so personally, but I don't think that's harsh. I think it will slowly teach her independence. Do you all go back with them for regular cleaning/check ups? Am I too harsh? I mean, yes, my personality in general, is harsh. But it's not like I dropped her off at the door and yelled 'Peace Out' as I sped away. I also think every kid handles it differently and I know for my kid, she does better with anxiety causing events, if I am not around.

They'll start coming to our house monthly! 

I go back with C, but honestly he'd be fine if I didn't. I sit in the corner on my phone while he gets his cleaning and exam.

[klong11]

I hate driving in the rain. People are dumb.
I made it in fine, but it seems like half of the office couldn't be bothered to show up. It's only day 2 of rain, people, get it together!