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Post by GhoatMonket on Mar 20, 2019 8:07:46 GMT -6
You guys, I am seriously worried about this “new math”’stuff I keep hearing about. How am I supposed to “help” my kid learn it if I don’t even know what it is? At least reading is still the same, right? Right!? The workbooks ours come from have worksheets for the parents. I let him do that stuff wrong. If they are struggling, she needs to see that and it needs to be covered again. I'll help if he gets a little stuck, but I'm not going to re-cover the entire process. She needs to know there was a break down in how it was communicated. If it's just him struggling, then she can cover it with just him. If everyone is struggling with the same problem, then she knows there is a bigger issue. And the panic over this is so blown out of proportion. People need to calm the eff down and not get worked into a frenzy before they even see what is being taught.
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piratecat
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Post by piratecat on Mar 20, 2019 8:08:17 GMT -6
I think there is a lot of semantics going on. Privilege, advantage, unfair advantage, and even favorable consequence, etc. Some see differences amongst them and others don't. But I don't see that people are I guess so I am missing something. So what are we supposed to be doing with our kid's education? No snark honestly I am really trying to see what I am missing in this discussion because clearly we are all not on the same page I think you keep doing what you're doing. I read to my kid everyday and I imagine I will be engaged in his education as well. I didn't grow up with those advantages and am well aware there are kids that still don't. Especially when it comes to younger children, I don't think anyone is trying to argue that you should stop what you're doing. Sometimes all we can do is acknowledge we have it better than others and try to help when we can. I think that mindset alone can go a long way. I don't know, I don't really think we are not on the same page. ETA: Not that far off anyway.
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Bookshelves
Emerald
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Post by Bookshelves on Mar 20, 2019 8:08:36 GMT -6
You guys, I am seriously worried about this “new math”’stuff I keep hearing about. How am I supposed to “help” my kid learn it if I don’t even know what it is? At least reading is still the same, right? Right!? I love the way they are teaching math now because it's how I have thought about math all my life. I don't understand 100% of it because there is a lot of terminology applied to concepts that I had never labeled before, but google is a friend to all. Same.
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Post by angelashly on Mar 20, 2019 8:10:19 GMT -6
Like I had advantages and privileges just by having a father at home who was invested I fully acknowledge that, but we did not have money for tutors, I had to work a job during high school to help my parents pay bills, my father was sick and died not long after graduation so I fully worked my butt off to get where I am now and yet I am still not at where I ever thought I would be. Now I am in the position to give my dd college and to help her to achieve dreams. I will never pay for her to get something she doesn't deserve, but I will check her homework and help when she asks or if she is struggling so that she doesn't have to struggle in her adult life.
Again while she is bi-racial and has a disadvantage in the way the world looks at her she does realize that not all kids have these privileges. She acknowledges that even at 8 so I think we can do both.
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Post by angelashly on Mar 20, 2019 8:12:27 GMT -6
You guys, I am seriously worried about this “new math”’stuff I keep hearing about. How am I supposed to “help” my kid learn it if I don’t even know what it is? At least reading is still the same, right? Right!? The workbooks ours come from have worksheets for the parents. I let him do that stuff wrong. If they are struggling, she needs to see that and it needs to be covered again. I'll help if he gets a little stuck, but I'm not going to re-cover the entire process. She needs to know there was a break down in how it was communicated. If it's just him struggling, then she can cover it with just him. If everyone is struggling with the same problem, then she knows there is a bigger issue. And the panic over this is so blown out of proportion. People need to calm the eff down and not get worked into a frenzy before they even see what is being taught. I do this too. I will help once or twice on a problem, but if she is struggling with the same concept a third time on a paper then she gets that wrong. DD is already a perfectionist in a sense in that she doesn't want her teacher to see that she got it wrong. I have told her that the only way her teacher can know that she isn't getting it is if she sees that she is getting it wrong.
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piratecat
Diamond
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Post by piratecat on Mar 20, 2019 8:14:56 GMT -6
Like I had advantages and privileges just by having a father at home who was invested I fully acknowledge that, but we did not have money for tutors, I had to work a job during high school to help my parents pay bills, my father was sick and died not long after graduation so I fully worked my butt off to get where I am now and yet I am still not at where I ever thought I would be. Now I am in the position to give my dd college and to help her to achieve dreams. I will never pay for her to get something she doesn't deserve, but I will check her homework and help when she asks or if she is struggling so that she doesn't have to struggle in her adult life. Again while she is bi-racial and has a disadvantage in the way the world looks at her she does realize that not all kids have these privileges. She acknowledges that even at 8 so I think we can do both. See, I think we are exactly on the same page. I think you are doing a great job with your daughter.
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Post by angelashly on Mar 20, 2019 8:16:31 GMT -6
Like I had advantages and privileges just by having a father at home who was invested I fully acknowledge that, but we did not have money for tutors, I had to work a job during high school to help my parents pay bills, my father was sick and died not long after graduation so I fully worked my butt off to get where I am now and yet I am still not at where I ever thought I would be. Now I am in the position to give my dd college and to help her to achieve dreams. I will never pay for her to get something she doesn't deserve, but I will check her homework and help when she asks or if she is struggling so that she doesn't have to struggle in her adult life. Again while she is bi-racial and has a disadvantage in the way the world looks at her she does realize that not all kids have these privileges. She acknowledges that even at 8 so I think we can do both. See, I think we are exactly on the same page. I think you are doing a great job with your daughter. good I thought I was missing something
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Post by shan-ah-doo on Mar 20, 2019 8:27:58 GMT -6
Don’t authors have their shit proofread? They do. However, an author who is published by a traditional publisher has editing and copyediting services provided to them, while a self-published author would either need to do it themselves or spend money to hire someone to do it for them. And when it comes to awards, you generally won't see them competing in the same categories because they aren't exactly equal. Oh.
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thatgolfb
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Post by thatgolfb on Mar 20, 2019 8:28:14 GMT -6
Again- where is anyone not? You literally have pages of people saying that they are acknowledging it and you keep coming back to this and telling us we need to do this. We have. We did. Multiple times. What more are you looking for? I am saying there is a wide range of privilege. Yes, everyone is acknowledging some but is less inclined to acknowledge others. Having parents that speak English is a privilege. Having college-educated parents is a privilege. Having parents that have the ability and time and emotional capacity to help with homework is a privilege. That doesn't mean you don't deserve your accomplishments. But here's your medal for acknowledging the select few privileges. I honestly don’t see where people are not recognizing or acknowledging any of this. But again, maybe I missed something.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 20, 2019 8:30:46 GMT -6
I am short wow that your parents proofread papers and homework. No one ever did that for me. My parents weren’t checked out, they made sure I did my homework, but they never checked it. I’m not saying other parents were wrong, (the opposite in fact, I think it’s great) just sharing my experience. Honestly, this is always going to be feel too personal and it’s hard to have a theoretical discussion. At the end of the day, no one wants to feel like they didn’t earn what they have and on the other side, it can make others feel bad that they didn’t get those things. To be clear, i have not read anything in this thread that makes me feel like our board does anything ‘wrong’ or unjust for their kids. It’s miles and miles away from this cheating scandal to me. My mom was a teacher and later a Principal and never proofread my shit. I am also short wow!
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Post by Deleted on Mar 20, 2019 8:31:36 GMT -6
You guys, I am seriously worried about this “new math”’stuff I keep hearing about. How am I supposed to “help” my kid learn it if I don’t even know what it is? At least reading is still the same, right? Right!? I love the way they are teaching math now because it's how I have thought about math all my life. I don't understand 100% of it because there is a lot of terminology applied to concepts that I had never labeled before, but google is a friend to all. YES! Math is so easy when you think about it the way we dooooooo! I am hopeful that they will do a combo of new math and old math because clearly people just learn differently and teaching it onewayonly is not really appropriate.
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thatgolfb
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Post by thatgolfb on Mar 20, 2019 8:32:28 GMT -6
Please ask your parents to proofread and edit each post before submitting. They actually want to do a quarterly check in on HiH to see how my posting is going, where I excel and what my development goals are. Look for an Outlook appointment. Not everyone has Outlook, can you use carrier pigeon?
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Post by shan-ah-doo on Mar 20, 2019 8:38:08 GMT -6
If my kids needed my help with math they would fail.
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kmkd
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Post by kmkd on Mar 20, 2019 8:38:56 GMT -6
If my kids needed my help with math they would fail. Me too. I hope it doesn’t come to that.
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Post by shan-ah-doo on Mar 20, 2019 8:40:02 GMT -6
My parents never so much looked at our report cards let alone help with homework. They didn’t even blink an eye when some of us dropped out. We just never had it drilled into us that school was important. I blame nobody but them. Shame on them really.
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Post by shan-ah-doo on Mar 20, 2019 8:40:25 GMT -6
If my kids needed my help with math they would fail. Me too. I hope it doesn’t come to that. Anything else I’m on it.
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Post by angelashly on Mar 20, 2019 8:43:16 GMT -6
If my kids needed my help with math they would fail. It is why my kid has 2 math apps on her iPad that the school gave us. I believe the one she likes the most is called Zearn or something. I will check when I get home
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cribs
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Post by cribs on Mar 20, 2019 8:44:31 GMT -6
I never had my stuff done early enough for anyone to be able to proofread.
Procrastinator right here
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piratecat
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Post by piratecat on Mar 20, 2019 8:44:46 GMT -6
I am saying there is a wide range of privilege. Yes, everyone is acknowledging some but is less inclined to acknowledge others. Having parents that speak English is a privilege. Having college-educated parents is a privilege. Having parents that have the ability and time and emotional capacity to help with homework is a privilege. That doesn't mean you don't deserve your accomplishments. But here's your medal for acknowledging the select few privileges. I honestly don’t see where people are not recognizing or acknowledging any of this. But again, maybe I missed something. Or maybe it is I that is missing something. I don't know anymore, I feel like I'm starting to lose the plot here. As I said before, I think a lot of it is semantics - like you said earlier that you didn't think/know if your parents proofreading was an unfair advantage and that unfair advantage ≠ privilege to you. I personally think they are the same, just different levels/kinds of privilege. I am not the authority on this subject, just sharing my thoughts. I also think that some of what I'm reacting to is the pushback like, why is it wrong to help with homework? (I didn't say it was, but this at least I can kind of understand.) It's not the same as bribing! (Of course not.) Why should we all have to check out of our kids' education just because other kids don't have the same privilege? (No one is saying that.) I think the attitude of "I acknowledged it, now what more do you want from me" is a little off-putting. Sure, acknowledging it is the first step, but then getting defensive about it kind of takes away from it.
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piratecat
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Post by piratecat on Mar 20, 2019 8:46:48 GMT -6
I never had my stuff done early enough for anyone to be able to proofread. Procrastinator right here Ahahaha, you're right, it probably had nothing to do with my parents not speaking English. I have no one to blame but myself.
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kmkd
Amethyst
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Post by kmkd on Mar 20, 2019 8:47:33 GMT -6
I honestly don’t see where people are not recognizing or acknowledging any of this. But again, maybe I missed something. Or maybe it is I that is missing something. I don't know anymore, I feel like I'm starting to lose the plot here. As I said before, I think a lot of it is semantics - like you said earlier that you didn't think/know if your parents proofreading was an unfair advantage and that unfair advantage ≠ privilege to you. I personally think they are the same, just different levels/kinds of privilege. I am not the authority on this subject, just sharing my thoughts. I also think that some of what I'm reacting to is the pushback like, why is it wrong to help with homework? (I didn't say it was, but this at least I can kind of understand.) It's not the same as bribing! (Of course not.) Why should we all have to check out of our kids' education just because other kids don't have the same privilege? (No one is saying that.) I think the attitude of "I acknowledged it, now what more do you want from me" is a little off-putting. Sure, acknowledging it is the first step, but then getting defensive about it kind of takes away from it. I’m not trying to be defensive, I’m genuinely asking - If acknowledging is the first step, then what, for you, is the next step?
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Post by lolacachia on Mar 20, 2019 8:48:18 GMT -6
My mom didn't ever really help with homework aside from asking if I did it. My dad would help when he was home and not on business trips.
On the other hand, my brother is 10 years younger than me and my dad no longer works... I have said to all of them more than once that the level of involvement my dad has is ridiculous. Calling the school for him about switching majors, waking him up to get there on time, checking and helping him correct all homework and papers (they have the same major). His excuse is that if he fails he loses his scholarship and then my dad has to cover him 100% and not just 50%. And I've tried to tell him that's life.. he has to figure it out and if he fails it's his responsibility to figure it out not my dads. It's a cluster I try to not get involved with but it's beyond my comprehension.
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Post by GhoatMonket on Mar 20, 2019 8:54:21 GMT -6
Or maybe it is I that is missing something. I don't know anymore, I feel like I'm starting to lose the plot here. As I said before, I think a lot of it is semantics - like you said earlier that you didn't think/know if your parents proofreading was an unfair advantage and that unfair advantage ≠ privilege to you. I personally think they are the same, just different levels/kinds of privilege. I am not the authority on this subject, just sharing my thoughts. I also think that some of what I'm reacting to is the pushback like, why is it wrong to help with homework? (I didn't say it was, but this at least I can kind of understand.) It's not the same as bribing! (Of course not.) Why should we all have to check out of our kids' education just because other kids don't have the same privilege? (No one is saying that.) I think the attitude of "I acknowledged it, now what more do you want from me" is a little off-putting. Sure, acknowledging it is the first step, but then getting defensive about it kind of takes away from it. I’m not trying to be defensive, I’m genuinely asking - If acknowledging is the first step, then what, for you, is the next step? This. It's been acknowledged over and over and over and over. And yet that is the only point that keeps getting brought up, so that's where we have stayed because we keep getting told to acknowledge it. So we do again. And get told to acknowledge it. So we do. Again. At this point it's preaching to the choir.
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thatgolfb
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Post by thatgolfb on Mar 20, 2019 8:55:56 GMT -6
But why is it acceptable for any other person to help? Why is it only inappropriate if it is a parent? The action needs to be what is looked at, not the person. Peers can do whole re-writes as well, yet peer help is deemed acceptable. A teacher may re-write it too, yet that is acceptable. The action of re-writing the paper is the problem, not who did it. I personally didn't say whether it is inappropriate or acceptable. I think there is a difference between saying "having parents that can/will proofread" gives you an advantage and saying that it is wrong or that parents shouldn't do it. You weren’t the one that said inappropriate. I think the word inappropriate *does* imply that parents indeed shouldn’t do it.
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piratecat
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Post by piratecat on Mar 20, 2019 8:56:37 GMT -6
Or maybe it is I that is missing something. I don't know anymore, I feel like I'm starting to lose the plot here. As I said before, I think a lot of it is semantics - like you said earlier that you didn't think/know if your parents proofreading was an unfair advantage and that unfair advantage ≠ privilege to you. I personally think they are the same, just different levels/kinds of privilege. I am not the authority on this subject, just sharing my thoughts. I also think that some of what I'm reacting to is the pushback like, why is it wrong to help with homework? (I didn't say it was, but this at least I can kind of understand.) It's not the same as bribing! (Of course not.) Why should we all have to check out of our kids' education just because other kids don't have the same privilege? (No one is saying that.) I think the attitude of "I acknowledged it, now what more do you want from me" is a little off-putting. Sure, acknowledging it is the first step, but then getting defensive about it kind of takes away from it. I’m not trying to be defensive, I’m genuinely asking - If acknowledging is the first step, then what, for you, is the next step? I don't have the answers. There is just so much that needs to be done systemically. Sometimes I think all we can do is recognize it as a problem and be mindful and think about what you can do to make it better for others, like what brux and others were saying. Teach our kids about their privilege so the next generation can do better. Get involved with the school system or volunteer. I just think without getting the defensiveness out of the equation it's hard to move forward.
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piratecat
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Post by piratecat on Mar 20, 2019 9:02:23 GMT -6
I personally didn't say whether it is inappropriate or acceptable. I think there is a difference between saying "having parents that can/will proofread" gives you an advantage and saying that it is wrong or that parents shouldn't do it. You weren’t the one that said inappropriate. I think the word inappropriate *does* imply that parents indeed shouldn’t do it. I get it. I'm not sure that I would have chosen that word - although it doesn't feel as negative to *me* but I can see where you and others are coming from - but I do agree in the sense that I feel it is largely unnecessarily at the HS level. But these are just opinions and I think it is slightly a different conversation than the one about privilege, which is what I was trying to distinguish.
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thatgolfb
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Post by thatgolfb on Mar 20, 2019 9:04:55 GMT -6
I’m not trying to be defensive, I’m genuinely asking - If acknowledging is the first step, then what, for you, is the next step? I don't have the answers. There is just so much that needs to be done systemically. Sometimes I think all we can do is recognize it as a problem and be mindful and think about what you can do to make it better for others, like what brux and others were saying. Teach our kids about their privilege so the next generation can do better. Get involved with the school system or volunteer. I just think without getting the defensiveness out of the equation it's hard to move forward. I completely agree.
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Post by GhoatMonket on Mar 20, 2019 9:06:37 GMT -6
You weren’t the one that said inappropriate. I think the word inappropriate *does* imply that parents indeed shouldn’t do it. I get it. I'm not sure that I would have chosen that word - although it doesn't feel as negative to *me* but I can see where you and others are coming from - but I do agree in the sense that I feel it is largely unnecessarily at the HS level. But these are just opinions and I think it is slightly a different conversation than the one about privilege, which is what I was trying to distinguish. What exactly do you feel isn't necessary at the high school level?
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Post by angelashly on Mar 20, 2019 9:08:45 GMT -6
I get it. I'm not sure that I would have chosen that word - although it doesn't feel as negative to *me* but I can see where you and others are coming from - but I do agree in the sense that I feel it is largely unnecessarily at the HS level. But these are just opinions and I think it is slightly a different conversation than the one about privilege, which is what I was trying to distinguish. What exactly do you feel isn't necessary at the high school level? Yeah see piratecat this is where I think we fall off the same page I do think that you can help your high school student the same way you would an elementary school kid and still teach them to be independent.
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piratecat
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Post by piratecat on Mar 20, 2019 9:11:36 GMT -6
I’m not trying to be defensive, I’m genuinely asking - If acknowledging is the first step, then what, for you, is the next step? This. It's been acknowledged over and over and over and over. And yet that is the only point that keeps getting brought up, so that's where we have stayed because we keep getting told to acknowledge it. So we do again. And get told to acknowledge it. So we do. Again. At this point it's preaching to the choir. Maybe it is frustrating for you to acknowledge over and over, but imagine how frustrating (to put it mildly) it is for the underprivileged that things don't ever change. Like cry me a fucking river. What's next? I don't know. Raising better humans, for one. You can't level up to do that until after you have written "I acknowledge my privilege" over and over a bazillion times and your parents have proofread it all.
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