TTMA self care

[guster]

What do you do for you?
Where do you fit the time in? Is it enough?
What else would you like to add for 2019?

[snoopmommymom]

The only thing i do for me is go to the chiropractor once a week. It helps me release stress in my neck and shoulders.

This year I’d like to workout, read for pleasure, and figure out an anti-aging skincare routine. Oh and take my vitamins daily!

[guster]

I made the thread because it’s been bouncing around in my head as a resolution, but most of the things I do that are considered self care (hair cuts and color, weekly or bi weekly nails, time to walk around the store alone, run to Starbucks) feel more part of a routine and not indulgent just for me.

[flamingo]

Jan 5, 2019 17:10:03 GMT -6 guster said:

most of the things I do that are considered self care (hair cuts and color, weekly or bi weekly nails, time to walk around the store alone, run to Starbucks) feel more part of a routine and not indulgent just for me.

I'd agree with this. I get my hair and nails done regularly and feel much better with it all done, of course, but I don't necessarily love the time I spend doing it or really look forward to it. It's more a means-to-an-end. 

[flamingo]

Reading, shopping, decorating projects around my house...these are all things I do and enjoy. Are they self-care? IDK, probably not.

I do think the MOPs group I recently joined could be considered self-care; I could probably find 'better'/more useful things to do with that time, but I wanted to make finding mom friends a priority.

Same with going home to visit family; that is something that I prioritize, even though it's sometimes inconvenient, expensive, and a lot of work, b/c spending time with my family is good for me and recharges my batteries.


Also, this is a FFSC and maybe a UO but I detest the term "self-care"...I can't really point to a reason why, except all of a sudden it seems like it's everywhere and I'm just OD'ed on the word, lol.

[guster]

Jan 5, 2019 19:01:33 GMT -6 flamingo said:

Also, this is a FFSC and maybe a UO but I detest the term "self-care"...I can't really point to a reason why, except all of a sudden it seems like it's everywhere and I'm just OD'ed on the word, lol.

It’s funny, I debated naming the thread this because I do feel like it’s on overkill right now.
I think I tend to look at self care as something beauty/health based, but I may need to expand my definition.

[xolastunicornxo]

I think I have similar feelings to a lot of people. Like o workout daily, and in the long run it makes me feel great, but I’d kind of rather sit on the couch with a mimosa every morning. 🤷🏼‍♀️ same with getting my hair/eyebrows/nails done. It’s means to an end.

You all know I live that bath life, so that’s my biggest one. Dh know after dinner I’m disappearing for at least half an hour to unwind and he parents. I’m also a big reader. I read in the bath and before bed every night.

[wineallthetime]

On my work days I work until 3 and then have a couple hours to myself. I workout, shop, sit in my car on my phone, ect.

At night I put the younger 2 kids to bed at 7 and then usually take a long shower and lay in bed and read while MH spends time with C and puts him to bed.

Sundays are typically my sleep in day.

I like to meet up with my sister or friends with kids and have a drink while the kids run wild. That's self careish I suppose!

[nam2013]

I don’t do enough self care. Never get a facial/massage/mani-pedi etc. and get a haircut twice a year. I don’t work out (not because I can’t, but because I hate it) and if I get an hour to myself each week (I mean without my h too) it is a lot.

I go to dinner with friends every 2-3 weeks & have the occasional date night, does that count as self care?

[jewels]

I don’t do a lot of it. I try to make time for mani pedis but they are not as often as I’d like.

Probably just laying around watching bad tv after the kids go to sleep. Or taking a random kid free day and shopping. Like not for ‘needs’ but aimlessly walking around, sometimes w a friend. I used to do that a lot ore kids so that kind of brings me peace

Once a year I go away to a spa with a friend for 2 nights. I look forward to that all year. It’s in a beautiful location, and for 2 days we take yoga, swim, walk around the lake, do those wine/paint classes and, of course, get a massage. It’s the best

[flamingo]

Jan 5, 2019 19:08:09 GMT -6 guster said:

Jan 5, 2019 19:01:33 GMT -6 flamingo said:

Also, this is a FFSC and maybe a UO but I detest the term "self-care"...I can't really point to a reason why, except all of a sudden it seems like it's everywhere and I'm just OD'ed on the word, lol.

It’s funny, I debated naming the thread this because I do feel like it’s on overkill right now.
I think I tend to look at self care as something beauty/health based, but I may need to expand my definition.

I see it as kind of a mind/body/health thing. So beauty, health/fitness, mental well-being...but something that you enjoy and want to do, not an obligation. That’s just me, though.

[Sunny41]

The biggest thing with self care is what makes you feel like there is time for you or that you aren't overwhelmed. As mom's we often get into ruts where our health is on the back burner and everyone else's needs are met first.

MH and I each have designated nights that are ours to go out. He games with friends and I either go to workout or go to girls night. A few years ago I felt overwhelmed with chores and i just didn't know where to start so I wouldn't start. I told mh and he now does vacuuming.
Really at this stage for me self care is finding friends because I get plenty of time out of the house with work.

[guster]

Jan 6, 2019 8:11:43 GMT -6 flamingo said:

Jan 5, 2019 19:08:09 GMT -6 guster said:

It’s funny, I debated naming the thread this because I do feel like it’s on overkill right now.
I think I tend to look at self care as something beauty/health based, but I may need to expand my definition.

I see it as kind of a mind/body/health thing. So beauty, health/fitness, mental well-being...but something that you enjoy and want to do, not an obligation. That’s just me, though.

That’s a good definition. I suppose I’m
getting that through listening to podcasts and cooking. They both don’t feel like chores and make me feel like I’m bettering myself.

[nam2013]

Sunny41 I get that overwhelmed feeling. I often still have that and will sort of flee the house and go outdoors with the kids. Which I guess this is sort off self care too, get some fresh air, see nature etc.

[mskatiep]

The only thing that I do daily for "self care" is get up 30 mins before I need to so that I can drink a full cup of coffee alone in peace. I really value my alone time in the morning.

I also do the usual pedicures/hair appointments but I don't really see those as self care, just life maintenance. I think the current definition of self care is supposed to be geared towards centering oneself and keeping burnout at bay. The methods may just vary. Whatever refreshes you works.

While I value my alone time in the AM before life starts, this year I'd like to actually be more social and expand my friend group. We get into such a rut and routine that it's easy to just be homebodies. I'd also like to go on more date nights and stay physically and emotionally better connected with Tim.

[dapostrophe]

I try to do at least one thing a day that I enjoy. Sometimes it's bigger things like brunch with my sister or dinner with a friend, other days it's smaller things like reading a book, walking around Whole Foods or Home Goods, date-at-home nights with my H.

I also need a trip on the books to look forward to. Even if it's just a weekend away, if it's out there on the horizon, I always have it in the back of my head.

Plus, therapy and exercise. Those are things that I actually enjoy that also do wonders for my mental health.

[nam2013]

dapostrophe yes to trips! I basically live for trips/vacation and realise that with six weeks paid I’m very lucky!

[inthekitty]

I definitely don't do enough. The main thing I started doing a few months back is joined a monthly massage club. It was reasonably priced. Sometimes I go during lunch break at work so it doesn't take from any of my personal time.

[kim22]

I was doing good meeting friends for lunch when C was a baby sleeping in the carrier but it’s become less enjoyable since he’s become a monster throwing food and standing in high chairs. Unfortunately, my time out without kids is often still obligations. This month for example, my nights out are a PTO meeting, wrapping tricky tray baskets for PTO, and a beefsteak for our hockey club. Maybe I will get to the play I have tickets for but it’s not looking good.

[peachsmama]

I dont do nearly enough. But I get my nails done every 3 weeks and I get pedicures regularly. Its amazing what it does for my mood and A makes sure I make it a priority. Once we're in the house and I have my nice bug bathtub I will make it a priority to use it to relax. I really need to make date night a thing again and just seeing my friends more.

[tallb]

I think the only thing I do is my workout classes which is kind of hit or miss on if I make it. Now that we have moved it's not as convenient, so I may drop my subscription and try to exercise on my own, but MH at least recognizes that it's my only outlet. I don't get my nails or pedicures much anymore, maybe a pedicure once a season?

[wineallthetime]

I need to prioritize nails more. I VERY rarely go. I know if I did it would just make me happy to see pretty nails! I'm too embarrassed by my ugly feet to get pedicures though.

[chrisy01]

C lets me soak in the tub for an extra 20 minutes each week (tries). But that’s really it. I need to make it a priority but right now I’m making C’s and my relationship a priority right now.

[chrisy01]

I would love to get my nails done but my job kills my nails.

[wedding]

Jan 6, 2019 17:02:18 GMT -6 wineallthetime said:

I need to prioritize nails more. I VERY rarely go. I know if I did it would just make me happy to see pretty nails! I'm too embarrassed by my ugly feet to get pedicures though.

Don’t be embarrassed. They’ve seen worse! I brought my mom in for the first time in her 63 years of life and I swear they shaved an inch of her height from the bottom of her feet. Yours can’t be that bad!

[wedding]

Right now my self care is therapy and meetings. I’m also trying to fit in date nights and not feel guilty about napping on the weekend.

As an introvert I really need time to myself to recharge so I try to save up a couple of hours a pay period of flex time to be alone with my DVR.

[flamingo]

Jan 6, 2019 17:02:18 GMT -6 wineallthetime said:

I need to prioritize nails more. I VERY rarely go. I know if I did it would just make me happy to see pretty nails! I'm too embarrassed by my ugly feet to get pedicures though.

I mean, I see old men coming in to get their toenails cut, so I think your feet would probably be the least of their problems  

[peachsmama]

Jan 6, 2019 17:27:40 GMT -6 wedding said:

Jan 6, 2019 17:02:18 GMT -6 wineallthetime said:

I need to prioritize nails more. I VERY rarely go. I know if I did it would just make me happy to see pretty nails! I'm too embarrassed by my ugly feet to get pedicures though.

Don’t be embarrassed. They’ve seen worse! I brought my mom in for the first time in her 63 years of life and I swear they shaved an inch of her height from the bottom of her feet. Yours can’t be that bad!

Same for my grandma. Now she goes regularly. They dont mind!

[cagoldi]

I get up at five Mon- Sat for my alone time, which consists of a walk or yoga and tons of caffeine. I feel I have more energy throughout the day when I do that vs. sleeping until 6:30 and not fitting in some time to move. I’ve come to learn it’s important for me to feel like my body is good for more than sex and babies so it’s more self-care/clearing my head than it is getting rock hard abs.

Podcasts and music could go on this list, too.

I’m in the process of turning my room into my sanctuary. Removed all the baby stuff and I’m getting my infusion supplies out, adding some bowls of pretty tumbled stones, upgrading my bedding, adding some little floating planters of succulents, etc. Basically just making it feel calm and beautiful and like I have a space. After I’m done with all my nighttime chores, I’ve been retreating up there to lounge in my fuzzy robe.

Skincare is my jam and I love having that ritual of taking the day off and being good to my skin. A few times a week, I use a sheet mask and like that it forces me to lie down for twenty minutes with a book.

No regular manicures or pedicures for me because $$$ and time, but I do paint them once a week because looking at the colors makes me happy.

Meal prep is a chore, but one I like and find helpful if I have a ton of different veggies already washed and chopped so I can throw together a great salad or tofu scramble fast and don’t feel like I end up eating junk because I’m too pressed for time.

[cagoldi]

Re: overuse of the term self-care, I agree it’s everywhere but think it’s great.
Especially for parents in general but moms in particular.

I love that people are recognizing the need to decompress and heal, and enjoy hearing about what others find helpful.

It’s something I think is really cool about our generation, that we talk about burnout and how to avoid it and try to help each other find *healthy* ways to manage those things.

The feelings are nothing new, but everyone used to drink to self-medicate and stay closed off about it so what we’ve got now is much, much better IMO.