Leaf 🌱
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Post by Leaf 🌱 on Nov 8, 2018 7:19:29 GMT -6
I pretty much did all of DD2’s Christmas shopping at Lidl yesterday. They have a ton of wooden stackers, blocks, puzzles, etc. I think we’ll get her a soft doll, some PJs (we don’t have any fleece ones from DD1 in the next size), and let DD1 pick out a present for her.
I’m struggling with DD1 and her crazy power battles over EVERYTHING. I can’t figure out whether to stick to my guns/be strict or just roll it back. I am so tired (thanks horrible cold season) that I snap and yell and I hate that. I’m
Hoping this is time-change fallout and it’ll go away soon. I cannot spend literally hours getting her out the door and to bed every day.
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Post by mrsmonogrammed on Nov 8, 2018 7:37:03 GMT -6
Leaf 🌱 What specifically are you struggling with? I found that I have to be very consistent with bed time things or it results in meltdowns from both of us. My dd is a “ she gave me an inch, I’ll take a mile” bedtime con artist😅 but I’m able to be more lenient during the day.
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Post by ArielMermaid on Nov 8, 2018 7:39:37 GMT -6
I feel your pain Leaf 🌱. Toddler mermaid has been a fit throwing monster as of late and it’s made me more strict and snippy and less understanding. I can’t find the happy medium in this. I don’t want her to be “that kid” that cries and throws a fit about everything but she is. EVERYTHING. |
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cornpop
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Post by cornpop on Nov 8, 2018 8:38:04 GMT -6
I got a text message while I was at buti last night that said "Please don't linger after class, E locked me in her room during bedtime."
So...clearly we're doing super well with the toddler at bedtime.
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cornpop
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Post by cornpop on Nov 8, 2018 8:46:48 GMT -6
Leaf 🌱, can you move the start of your bedtime routine up at all? We used to start around 6:45 and try to be done just a little after 7. Lately we've been starting it more around 6:20-6:30 and still aiming to be done around 7. We read a little more but just being upstairs and in her room earlier seems to make the process go a little smoother? Also, super strict routine. Every night when we go up, we go to N's room, put her in PJs, then I take E and we brush her teeth, then we all go to E's room and put on her PJs, then we read 3 books, my H spins her around or something to that effect, then as long as she's behaved, we sing three songs. Kisses, snuggle kisses (eskimo kisses) and hugs while she's laying in bed, then we're gone. If we deviate at all from that routine it's basically Armageddon.
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auri
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Post by auri on Nov 8, 2018 10:08:52 GMT -6
My FIL has follow up scans from his cancer treatment and we just got the good news that he is officially cancer free🙌🏻 I’m so ready to dive head first into O’s 1st holiday season without anything to worry about. Bring on the turkey! That’s awesome news! |
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Post by leatherpants on Nov 8, 2018 11:51:20 GMT -6
Fuck the time change. Seriously.
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Post by leatherpants on Nov 8, 2018 11:51:50 GMT -6
My FIL has follow up scans from his cancer treatment and we just got the good news that he is officially cancer free🙌🏻 I’m so ready to dive head first into O’s 1st holiday season without anything to worry about. Bring on the turkey! This is fantastic! How wonderful! |
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snowmoon
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Post by snowmoon on Nov 8, 2018 13:27:55 GMT -6
So we moved! I don't think I mentioned it here, but we got our own place and it is amazing. We're settling in and collecting the things we need and making it pur own (for now.) But between this and the time change we are dying.
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Leaf 🌱
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Post by Leaf 🌱 on Nov 8, 2018 13:30:23 GMT -6
Leaf 🌱 What specifically are you struggling with? I found that I have to be very consistent with bed time things or it results in meltdowns from both of us. My dd is a “ she gave me an inch, I’ll take a mile” bedtime con artist😅 but I’m able to be more lenient during the day. Im in the same boat as ArielMermaid. Everything is a tantrum - or rather, has the potential to be. I’m hoping it’s just time change + getting over a cold and will be v v v short lived bc it’s exhausting. It’s making me not enjoy spending time with her bc I’m afraid anything will set her off. Her DCP said on Monday that she is just the sweetest and most polite kid which, while nice to hear, also sucks on two levels - 1: I’m now taking this personally bc she’s acting out for me and is great there and 2: I know she *can* behave like a normal child and not a banshee so it’s not developmental/milestone/growing pains type of thing. I can’t find her currency and she does this silent thing when I give her choices that makes me ENRAGED. I’m trying to give her two good options like “go to bed now with a snuggles/story or we can do a bath and popsicle first” and she’ll just stare at me. I told DH the other day that I’m glad I don’t spank bc I feel like she’d Be getting spanked every. Damn. Day. Like we get to that nuclear point so fast these days. I try to give positive reenforcement all the time and even when I’m upset I try and say things like “I love you very much and I know you are kind/a good listener/great at XYZ but you are making choice A and that is causing consequence B.” The bedtime and getting ready is just a power play. She just wants whatever parent is unavailable to get her dressed/put on pjs/whatever. We do the same thing at about the same time (dinner, play, bath+popsicle, stories, songs/snuggles, sleep) every day. We switch up what parent does what all the time and it’s usually not an issue. I’m mostly just venting TBH. I think it’s the age+time change+sickness and waiting it out and being consistent are the only real options. |
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Leaf 🌱
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Post by Leaf 🌱 on Nov 8, 2018 13:30:58 GMT -6
So we moved! I don't think I mentioned it here, but we got our own place and it is amazing. We're settling in and collecting the things we need and making it pur own (for now.) But between this and the time change we are dying. Yay! At least it’s two big changes at once so it’ll get over with faster? |
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Post by ArielMermaid on Nov 8, 2018 13:42:46 GMT -6
I think we have the same kid Leaf 🌱. |
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Post by clementine on Nov 8, 2018 14:52:59 GMT -6
Well croup last weekend turned into an ear infection. He started antibiotics yesterday and seems to be feeling better already. I felt like I had a newborn again with how terrible sleep was the past few days.
I’m so ready for this weekend. We have NO PLANS, which never happens. Except for our 2 hour phone meeting with the sleep consultant tomorrow afternoon 😬😬 We’re hoping to start sleep training tomorrow or Saturday night depending on how he’s feeling.
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Post by clementine on Nov 8, 2018 14:54:23 GMT -6
I got a text message while I was at buti last night that said "Please don't linger after class, E locked me in her room during bedtime." So...clearly we're doing super well with the toddler at bedtime. Omg your poor H. Did she lock them both in there? Or just him? I’m not looking forward to bedtime with a toddler. |
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Post by calendula on Nov 8, 2018 14:57:51 GMT -6
Leaf 🌱 I remember when DS was that age, he very much hated me doing things for him. Like, the choice I gave him about bath would be "would you like to walk up the stairs to bath or should I carry you" or "would you like to take your shirt off or should I do it for you". It was independence he was after. Good luck. They grow out of it eventually! Promise!
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auri
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Post by auri on Nov 8, 2018 15:16:57 GMT -6
Can I start my holiday drinking early? My husband just told me that mil wants him to drive to Arlington with her and bil when we go visit. It’s an 8 hour round trip. We already are driving 14-16 hours one way to visit. I’m just waiting to hear auri and the kids should come too because I never get to see them. 🙄 She complains all the time about never seeing the kids, but then she pulls this stuff.
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cornpop
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Post by cornpop on Nov 8, 2018 15:24:37 GMT -6
I got a text message while I was at buti last night that said "Please don't linger after class, E locked me in her room during bedtime." So...clearly we're doing super well with the toddler at bedtime. Omg your poor H. Did she lock them both in there? Or just him? I’m not looking forward to bedtime with a toddler. Yeah they were both in there. Luckily. And luckily N fell asleep when he put her down and was not freaking out in her room. And also luckily, I had my keys with me because I often do not.
I think we need to take the lock off of her door because she's just going to keep doing it now and next time we'll probably both be in there.
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Leaf 🌱
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Post by Leaf 🌱 on Nov 8, 2018 16:02:19 GMT -6
cornpop we have a child lock in the inside if DD1’s door since she’s a night time wanderer and the stairs are directly in front of her door. That might be an option for you!
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cornpop
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Post by cornpop on Nov 8, 2018 16:15:35 GMT -6
cornpop we have a child lock in the inside if DD1’s door since she’s a night time wanderer and the stairs are directly in front of her door. That might be an option for you! What kind of lock? We had door knob covers but she learned how to defeat them. I guess we could do a hook and eye? |
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Leaf 🌱
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Post by Leaf 🌱 on Nov 8, 2018 16:24:57 GMT -6
cornpop we have a child lock in the inside if DD1’s door since she’s a night time wanderer and the stairs are directly in front of her door. That might be an option for you! What kind of lock? We had door knob covers but she learned how to defeat them. I guess we could do a hook and eye? ah we have a door knob cover and I honestly can barely figure it out ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ |
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Post by katietopaz on Nov 8, 2018 23:17:15 GMT -6
Oh my gosh, so much solidarity Leaf 🌱 and ArielMermaid My toddler is pushing every. single. boundary. so he can find out exactly where the line is. And then I find myself picking a battle over something totally inconsequential like... no, you may not put your big toe on the bottom part of the stair railing. And YES to the tantrums. God forbid I make a single tiny change to his routine or try to expedite things by doing something he normally does (ex. pushing the garage door opener when we're hauling out to the car for school). He throws himself on the ground, screams like a banshee, and/or kicks or throws things. I struggle with knowing what is autism and what is asshole three year-old. We want to have appropriate expectations for behavior and try to set him up for success in school/life, but also want to not be bad parents. Parenting is hard, y'all. |
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Post by katietopaz on Nov 8, 2018 23:46:21 GMT -6
Anyone else still waiting on their first PP period? I've had some weird cramping the past few days that reminds me of the PMS cramps I'd had in the past, but I'm hoping it's just a stomach bug or weird digestion issue. AF came back around 7-8 months with my first, but I was hoping I'd get lucky enough to go without for longer this time.
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Post by nevertoomanyshoes on Nov 9, 2018 0:13:01 GMT -6
Anyone else still waiting on their first PP period? I've had some weird cramping the past few days that reminds me of the PMS cramps I'd had in the past, but I'm hoping it's just a stomach bug or weird digestion issue. AF came back around 7-8 months with my first, but I was hoping I'd get lucky enough to go without for longer this time. I’m waiting but had spotting two days ago so was expecting AF to start but still nothing. I’m now just waiting paranoid about implantation bleeding even though we use condoms because that’s how my brain works. |
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polson
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Post by polson on Nov 9, 2018 5:34:38 GMT -6
clementine poor guy and you - i hope he feels better soon...you have been dealing with it too long now! also just solidarity tits to everyone dealing with toddler issues, but you all are making me feel like this is normal. i have been seriously questioning my abilities to parent the last few months. i know there will be other obstacles to deal with once we get past this tantrum stage, but this is so awful right now.
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Post by ArielMermaid on Nov 9, 2018 6:40:33 GMT -6
Sometimes I can’t even answer her questions before she starts to throw her fit. Sometimes I’m literally agreeing to what she’s asked but she thinks I’ll say no and starts to whine and cry anyway.
My nerves can barely take it.
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Post by ArielMermaid on Nov 9, 2018 6:41:43 GMT -6
MOTY. I remembered to buy DD1 a new coat and snow pants but not any boots that fit.
Oops.
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snowmoon
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Post by snowmoon on Nov 9, 2018 7:11:20 GMT -6
katietopaz I feel the same way re: trying to distinguish 3 year old bullshit vs. Autism. I'm feeling pretty confident that a lot of it's the age.
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Post by ArielMermaid on Nov 10, 2018 9:08:41 GMT -6
I won’t survive the cry about everything phase.
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cornpop
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Post by cornpop on Nov 10, 2018 12:06:10 GMT -6
I won’t survive the cry about everything phase. You know what I hate even more than the crying itself? The peanut gallery commenting on the crying. Both sets of grandparents act like she is the first kid to cry ever. If we're ever out, then everyone around makes some asinine joke. Just let my kid scream and bawl her eyes out, in one minute she'll be laughing and dancing around. |
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cornpop
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Post by cornpop on Nov 10, 2018 12:11:30 GMT -6
I really hate the "it gets better" or "oh man you're starting all over, good luck!" Comments.
1) my kids are fucking awesome now. I don't really need it to get better
2) yes, we were very aware that by choosing to get pregnant again, we were starting with a new baby. We understand biology.
God it pisses me off. Kids cry. They stop. We KOKO.
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