sudsy
Opal
Posts: 9,011 Likes: 50,569
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Tuesday
Sept 11, 2018 7:13:52 GMT -6
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Post by sudsy on Sept 11, 2018 7:13:52 GMT -6
I’m heading downtown to take the kids to the Shedd Aquarium today. It’s free for Illinois residents. This will be the first time they’ve been to the city.
What are you all up to?
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Tuesday
Sept 11, 2018 7:16:55 GMT -6
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Post by Deleted on Sept 11, 2018 7:16:55 GMT -6
Tuesday is my new favorite day. I drop both kids off at school/daycare and I get 5 hours alone. #bliss
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Tuesday
Sept 11, 2018 7:18:13 GMT -6
Post by fikafairy on Sept 11, 2018 7:18:13 GMT -6
I have a busy workday today, and I'm just worn out. I am super excited for my sister and my niece finally arriving, but still sad for me since I wish I still had my DD here.
On top of all of that, I really think my relationship with my H is unraveling, and I'm not sure what to do about it.
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gussie
Amethyst
Posts: 6,331 Likes: 18,769
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Tuesday
Sept 11, 2018 7:20:23 GMT -6
Post by gussie on Sept 11, 2018 7:20:23 GMT -6
Tuesday is my new favorite day. I drop both kids off at school/daycare and I get 5 hours alone. #bliss MWF I have two kids gone for 7 hours a day and it's paradise. I still have the 2 year old, but that's basically the same as no kids at this point. I do wish she was better behaved when we go out though, because I had envisioned cute days running errands and it's not working out.
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Tuesday
Sept 11, 2018 7:20:31 GMT -6
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Post by Deleted on Sept 11, 2018 7:20:31 GMT -6
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gussie
Amethyst
Posts: 6,331 Likes: 18,769
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Tuesday
Sept 11, 2018 7:21:03 GMT -6
Post by gussie on Sept 11, 2018 7:21:03 GMT -6
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Tuesday
Sept 11, 2018 7:23:41 GMT -6
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Post by earlybirdz on Sept 11, 2018 7:23:41 GMT -6
I’m sorry fikafairy. I know how hard that is Cleaning people are here today so that’s cool. Pups and I are hanging at MIL’s to stay out of their way. MIL is killing me with kindness but I really just want to veg. I shouldn’t complain.
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Tuesday
Sept 11, 2018 7:32:39 GMT -6
Post by fikafairy on Sept 11, 2018 7:32:39 GMT -6
Sorry, fikafairy . Have you talked to him about it? We've talked endlessly about it for months, and nothing is changing. Every time we talk about it and the struggles we are having, mostly about how I literally take on just about 100% of our daily life management - including HIS life - and the strain it has on me, he mopes around for a few days, makes a half-assed attempt to fix it, and then within a couple weeks we are back to me having to micro-manage everything. He's in one of his mopey days right now, as things came to a head again last night.
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Tuesday
Sept 11, 2018 7:37:03 GMT -6
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Post by goldenbird on Sept 11, 2018 7:37:03 GMT -6
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chickie
Platinum
Posts: 1,568 Likes: 4,250
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Tuesday
Sept 11, 2018 7:37:32 GMT -6
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Post by chickie on Sept 11, 2018 7:37:32 GMT -6
I’m having a lot of anxiety today, so I’m trying to have a low-key morning while DS2 is at preschool. First up - peanut butter filled pretzels and Flipping Out
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Tuesday
Sept 11, 2018 7:38:14 GMT -6
Post by chickenonsunday on Sept 11, 2018 7:38:14 GMT -6
Canceling our weekend plans for a trip to the Biltmore. Thanks Flo for running everything. Lesson learned to always get trip insurance.
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Tuesday
Sept 11, 2018 7:39:43 GMT -6
Post by angelashly on Sept 11, 2018 7:39:43 GMT -6
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Tuesday
Sept 11, 2018 7:40:29 GMT -6
Post by veganontuesdays on Sept 11, 2018 7:40:29 GMT -6
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Tuesday
Sept 11, 2018 7:41:31 GMT -6
Post by chickenonsunday on Sept 11, 2018 7:41:31 GMT -6
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Tuesday
Sept 11, 2018 7:41:40 GMT -6
Post by veganontuesdays on Sept 11, 2018 7:41:40 GMT -6
Good morning, the toddler managed to lock the baby's bedroom door and then shut it. Good news is the baby wasn't inside so we have that going for us. H will be breaking a screen to crawl inside on his lunch.
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piratecat
Diamond
Posts: 36,010 Likes: 143,838
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Tuesday
Sept 11, 2018 7:43:09 GMT -6
Post by piratecat on Sept 11, 2018 7:43:09 GMT -6
fikafairy, I'm sorry. Is he open to counseling? Either together or on his own?
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Tuesday
Sept 11, 2018 7:43:52 GMT -6
Post by chickenonsunday on Sept 11, 2018 7:43:52 GMT -6
Good morning, the toddler managed to lock the baby's bedroom door and then shut it. Good news is the baby wasn't inside so we have that going for us. H will be breaking a screen to crawl inside on his lunch. What do you mean break a screen? Can't you just unlock the door using the thin pin thing?
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Post by loveswaffles on Sept 11, 2018 7:45:01 GMT -6
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Tuesday
Sept 11, 2018 7:46:30 GMT -6
Post by veganontuesdays on Sept 11, 2018 7:46:30 GMT -6
Good morning, the toddler managed to lock the baby's bedroom door and then shut it. Good news is the baby wasn't inside so we have that going for us. H will be breaking a screen to crawl inside on his lunch. What do you mean break a screen? Can't you just unlock the door using the thin pin thing? For some reason this one has an actual key that goes with it but is probably 20 years old and was definitely not given to us with the house. E has done this one other time with our bedroom door and luckily that one had the 2 screws accessible and we just unscrewed the door knob. This door knob of course does not.
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piratecat
Diamond
Posts: 36,010 Likes: 143,838
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Tuesday
Sept 11, 2018 7:46:50 GMT -6
Post by piratecat on Sept 11, 2018 7:46:50 GMT -6
My H is planning on taking the kid to the big city in the afternoon/evening and driving back after bedtime. I am feeling a little anxious about it but also a little excited for the evening off. I'm wondering if I schedule myself a haircut last minute after work.
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Post by loveswaffles on Sept 11, 2018 7:52:16 GMT -6
Finally got everything sorted for DD to start at the new after school place on Monday. Think she will like it there since some of her besties go there.
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Pistol
Diamond
Posts: 28,064 Likes: 62,420
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Tuesday
Sept 11, 2018 8:17:11 GMT -6
via mobile
Post by Pistol on Sept 11, 2018 8:17:11 GMT -6
I have so much to do today but no motivation to do it.
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Tuesday
Sept 11, 2018 8:20:07 GMT -6
Post by fikafairy on Sept 11, 2018 8:20:07 GMT -6
fikafairy , I'm sorry. Is he open to counseling? Either together or on his own? he's already going on his own, and I know a lot of it is likely because he is struggling way more with the ongoing grief, PTSD, depression, anxiety, etc. from our loss two years ago.
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Tuesday
Sept 11, 2018 8:21:58 GMT -6
Post by fikafairy on Sept 11, 2018 8:21:58 GMT -6
I know it’s easier said than done, but you should really let yourself off the hook for managing his life. He’s an adult, let him manage his own life for awhile. the problem is when it impacts me or DS. Like, there are several work days where I have to stay later or I am physically elsewhere and unable to pick up DS from aftercare. We switched around our whole routine because H can't get his act together to get there on time, so on days where I NEED him to do it, it's not an option. I still almost 100% of the time get a phone call at the last minute and then I'm scrambling and restructuring things to go pick up DS.
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Tuesday
Sept 11, 2018 8:26:26 GMT -6
Post by fikafairy on Sept 11, 2018 8:26:26 GMT -6
the problem is when it impacts me or DS. Like, there are several work days where I have to stay later or I am physically elsewhere and unable to pick up DS from aftercare. We switched around our whole routine because H can't get his act together to get there on time, so on days where I NEED him to do it, it's not an option. I still almost 100% of the time get a phone call at the last minute and then I'm scrambling and restructuring things to go pick up DS. Okay, so this here is a tangible problem that you can work on fixing, without having to have nebulous discussions about micromanaging his life. What’s the penalty for being late for aftercare pickup and can you afford to eat it a few times? $1 per minute being late and H being a crabby asshole for the rest of the night. Technically yes we can $$ afford it, it's just the aftermath that I just don't want to deal with.
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Tuesday
Sept 11, 2018 8:27:09 GMT -6
Post by angelashly on Sept 11, 2018 8:27:09 GMT -6
I know it’s easier said than done, but you should really let yourself off the hook for managing his life. He’s an adult, let him manage his own life for awhile. the problem is when it impacts me or DS. Like, there are several work days where I have to stay later or I am physically elsewhere and unable to pick up DS from aftercare. We switched around our whole routine because H can't get his act together to get there on time, so on days where I NEED him to do it, it's not an option. I still almost 100% of the time get a phone call at the last minute and then I'm scrambling and restructuring things to go pick up DS. When you say can't get his act together what do you mean? I am not trying to down play your feelings because you have every right to feel them, but I agree with swellist, when you let go of that micromanaging it helps you. It may not help him, but he has to learn
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ripper
Opal
Posts: 8,601 Likes: 30,205
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Tuesday
Sept 11, 2018 8:29:51 GMT -6
Post by ripper on Sept 11, 2018 8:29:51 GMT -6
Starbucks cardamom lattes are LIFE
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Tuesday
Sept 11, 2018 8:36:15 GMT -6
Post by ladybrienne on Sept 11, 2018 8:36:15 GMT -6
fikafairy I don't want to minimize your feelings either because they are valid. That is very frustrating and it's a lot of pressure on you. However, sometimes, in order to fix issues that keep happening, you need to let someone fall on their face a bit when you've exhausted all other options to help them. Sometimes, it's the only sure-fire way that people actually learn to get their house in order. I know this would still impact you, but it may be worth a shot. You are not responsible for fixing someone else's life, even your husband. He needs to take some responsibility. You can be a guiding light of support of course, that goes without saying, but he needs to step up to the plate here too. You may need to step back a little with the micromanaging.
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Tuesday
Sept 11, 2018 8:56:19 GMT -6
Post by longtrail on Sept 11, 2018 8:56:19 GMT -6
Starbucks cardamom lattes are LIFE Uh, yum. I wonder if the Starbucks here has them. Probably not.
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ripper
Opal
Posts: 8,601 Likes: 30,205
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Tuesday
Sept 11, 2018 9:00:00 GMT -6
Post by ripper on Sept 11, 2018 9:00:00 GMT -6
Starbucks cardamom lattes are LIFE Uh, yum. I wonder if the Starbucks here has them. Probably not. They just arrived yesterday (here), so definitely worth a look!
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